[turuk]

I usually counter with "what will I get?". But this seems to insult some girls.

What are the possible ways of dealing with girls wanting drinks? Some girls I feel just want to use me as the drink-provider while others are genuinely interested and want some drinks to socialize.

Yesterday I walked into a bar, three girls gave me IOI's. With IOI I mean 3 second eye contact and trying to catch my attention. I felt down yesterday so I didn't approach.

I was kind of passive and down about something yesterday and I didn't even look around a lot. I just was staring in front of me into the mirror. One girl came next to me. I turned my head a little bit. She turned her head too. She asked where I was from. She was like 21 or something. Hungarian hotty. Face 8/10. Body 10/10. Classy and well-versed in English. We chatted for 10 minutes about her Hungarian roots, about what she does and some history.

After 5 minutes she asked me to buy Champagne so we could drink it together. It was already end of the night for me so I said I can't drink. I told her I had to wake up early. She said just buy it for me. I asked her "so what do I get in return? " with a grin. After that the convo kind of died off because of the atmosphere. I tried to pull her to my home with lines such as "let's drinks something at my place", and some daring lines such as "I have a secret for you at home."

This convo went on for couple of minutes. I told her "I was sorry that I couldn't get her a drink" and she said "maybe we can drink another time" and distanced herself a little bit at the bar. I finished my beer asap and when I was about to stand up she looked at me. She said "ciao".. I said good night and I left. Today I also felt down so I couldn't put up with her, plus I didn't really have time to hang out with her and drink with her.

So I would like to have advice on this:

-what is your policy on buying drinks for girls?

-how to know if she is really interested or just faking?

-how would you have dealt with my situation?

[turuk]

By the way, I didn't even get her number in all of this. I asked her if she would be here Friday and she said yes.

[NCS]

(08-16-2015 06:05 PM)turuk Wrote:  

-how would you have dealt with my situation?

First, wouldn't have apologized for anything, you did nothing wrong by not buying her a drink, and then you supplicated. This is a shit test. Remove the word "sorry" from your vocabulary, there are other ways to imply a sense of regret without using that word and dropping frame.

my .02 is that I buy drinks for women I bang, or am going to bang. I do not buy drinks as a way to "buy myself" into a bang*.

Asking you to buy champagne is a big ask for what sounds like a common conversation with little interest outside of the usual conversation topics where you are doing all the heavy lifting. Usually top shelf pricing.

You'll know if she is interested in you when you steer her away from her drink mooching and into some emotional push-pull to catch her interest. If you are not in the mood and are passive/down then you shouldn't even consider buying drinks, bad financial investment when you are in poor me mode. 21 yr old 8/10-10/10 knows what her value is and is all about trying to extract resources from you.

I'd have just said no and see if she was really interested. Abundance. Because I have great value, no matter how good she looks my value is always higher. Besides her looks and holes there is a 0.001% chance that she might bring something interesting to the table. There is a 99.999% chance that dealing with her is going to be full of BS, drama, and me spending my time trying to fill that black hole in her that requires every bit of attention she can suck out of me.

>I usually counter with "what will I get?". But this seems to insult some girls.

and you care about being responsible for princesses feelings why? not a great reply, but its not "sure!!" either. *With your response it's turning the situation from one where you are trying to build attraction into one of a transaction, trading drinks for the idea of sex. You never want to reframe her that way. Moves you right into the perception of beta provider who is willing to trade money for her attention.

viable alternatives taken from a reddit/trp thread earlier today:
No
Haha, we haven't even made out yet
huh, I was just about to ask you the same question
I suppose time will tell, won't it?

[Caligula]

Say "you get this round, I get the next one."

I'll happily buy girls drinks if there's good rapport and I'm getting myself one anyway. But a girl straight up asking you for a drink in that way, especially champagne, is a huge red flag.

[Brodiaga]

With drinks, it's kind of the same thing as with marriage. A woman is not supposed to ask for it, she is supposed to wait for a man to offer it.

[Sleazy]

"How about you buy me a drink."
"Wow, I don't think I've ever bought a drink for a guy before now."

Throws them off. Conversation I have had before multiple times and always ends in my favor.

[turuk]

She wanted those small bottle champagne. They are still 30 euro per bottle.

[Frontenac]

Yeah, I'll second the "What are you buying me?". It takes some balls to do that, and it's likely no guy will have said that to her before.

If she accepts, then it's a strong indicator that she's into you. If she rejects, then move on.

[Gmac]

Lothario and I had some chicks fishing us for drinks last night at the club. Walked on past and never looked back.

[turuk]

(08-16-2015 06:31 PM)NCS Wrote:  

(08-16-2015 06:05 PM)turuk Wrote:  

-how would you have dealt with my situation?

First, wouldn't have apologized for anything, you did nothing wrong by not buying her a drink, and then you supplicated. This is a shit test. Remove the word "sorry" from your vocabulary, there are other ways to imply a sense of regret without using that word and dropping frame.

First of all thank a lot for your top-notch advice. You were right. I shouldn't have dropped my frame. Probably I messed up with her with acting so beta. It is better to give up on her. There are more fish in the sea. Only thing I can do is learn from it.

Quote:

my .02 is that I buy drinks for women I bang, or am going to bang. I do not buy drinks as a way to "buy myself" into a bang*.

Asking you to buy champagne is a big ask for what sounds like a common conversation with little interest outside of the usual conversation topics where you are doing all the heavy lifting. Usually top shelf pricing.

The price is 30 euro for a small bottle if I'm right.

Quote:

You'll know if she is interested in you when you steer her away from her drink mooching and into some emotional push-pull to catch her interest. If you are not in the mood and are passive/down then you shouldn't even consider buying drinks, bad financial investment when you are in poor me mode. 21 yr old 8/10-10/10 knows what her value is and is all about trying to extract resources from you.

That is what I thought. I didn't wanted to be that guy who buys her drinks and then get to tug his own dick behind his legs.

By the way, what were emotional push-pulls you would use?

Quote:

I'd have just said no and see if she was really interested. Abundance. Because I have great value, no matter how good she looks my value is always higher. Besides her looks and holes there is a 0.001% chance that she might bring something interesting to the table. There is a 99.999% chance that dealing with her is going to be full of BS, drama, and me spending my time trying to fill that black hole in her that requires every bit of attention she can suck out of me.

I didn't treat her like a princess. If I would have been like that if I bought her the drink but I see your point.

Quote:

>I usually counter with "what will I get?". But this seems to insult some girls.

and you care about being responsible for princesses feelings why? not a great reply, but its not "sure!!" either. *With your response it's turning the situation from one where you are trying to build attraction into one of a transaction, trading drinks for the idea of sex. You never want to reframe her that way. Moves you right into the perception of beta provider who is willing to trade money for her attention.

This is spot on. Amazing eye-opener. That is why I feel uncomfortable using the line "what do I get in return?".. I read that line somewhere but it is not a good line. It takes away the attraction and it killed the convo very clearly.

Quote:

viable alternatives taken from a reddit/trp thread earlier today:
No
Haha, we haven't even made out yet
huh, I was just about to ask you the same question
I suppose time will tell, won't it?

Awesome.. I will use these ones.

[turuk]

(08-16-2015 06:55 PM)Brodiaga Wrote:  

With drinks, it's kind of the same thing as with marriage. A woman is not supposed to ask for it, she is supposed to wait for a man to offer it.

Feminism is exploiting us. If guys take advantage of females we are the worst creatures but they do it all the time. You will never get a feminist to talk about exploitation of men.

[turuk]

In the future I will use this line:

"Haha, I don't feel like buying a drink for you although you look amazing."

Is that good or too surrendering?

[optimus]

(08-16-2015 07:10 PM)turuk Wrote:  

She wanted those small bottle champagne. They are still 30 euro per bottle.

30 euro for a slim chance of banging a girl? Too steep IMHO.


Not an easy question I must say. Would love to hear a solid solution.

[GlobalMan]

(08-16-2015 07:21 PM)Gmac Wrote:  

Walked on past and never looked back.

This is the answer.

[turuk]

(08-16-2015 08:01 PM)GlobalMan Wrote:  

(08-16-2015 07:21 PM)Gmac Wrote:  

Walked on past and never looked back.

This is the answer.

The thing is there were only 5 girls in the bar at the time. She comes there a lot I think so I don't want to poison the well. Being rude and "walking past and not talking/looking" can mess up my chances with the other girls. She was definitely the alpha-cat. Being playful is better than being a poker face in certain situations. This doesn't mean I will give in to her wishes. I rejected her on a playful way.

[Gmac]

(08-16-2015 07:53 PM)turuk Wrote:  

In the future I will use this line:

"Haha, I don't feel like buying a drink for you although you look amazing."

Is that good or too surrendering?

No way, don't ever say this.

[realologist]

I usually just act like I didn't hear and try to move the conversation to what we were talking about before or distract them with something new.

Last time a girl asked me for a drink I was at a night club and acted like I was paying attention to the dance floor when she asked. Then I said " let's go dance ". She completely forgot about it.

[MKDAWUSS]

Get her a glass of water.

[thebassist]

"And why do you think you deserve one?"

Let the hamster do some work. If the girl tries to come up with any serious response just nod sarcastically, say 'suuuure', and then just continue on like nothing happened.

[amusedmastery]

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/01/...l-a-drink/

[MidWest]

"I don't buy drinks to girls I just met"

Or

"Go ask that guy over there for a drink"

[eradicator]

"It's 2015, you should buy me one"

I think emech's answer was "okay but it's wild turkey or nothing" and by the time she drinks her drink it's too late and you already ruined her night.

[Rompetoto]

(08-16-2015 08:42 PM)MKDAWUSS Wrote:  

Get her a glass of water.

ordering water shots is awesome.

[Tuthmosis]

"Do you just want the cash?" [gesture like you're going to take out your wallet]

[Phoenix]

Might just have been a drink fisherwoman.
I'll buy a drink on occasion, but tied to a concession, typically isolation. Absolutely never on their request, and never before basic screening.
If she was genuinely interested in continuing to talk to you, it is very unlikely that she would have been asking for champagne. Your instinct was right, but I don't think flippant answers are the way to go. Just stick to the classic: "maybe later".