[Veloce]

I'm gonna come in here with some black knight advice.

I had a female roommate once. She was actually good. Clean, paid on time, had a job, never brought guys home, and she was damn cute. I was actually the one that responded to her ad and I moved into her place.

I was 21 or 22 at the time and a total mess. I was really just a fucking retard at the time. I've always been forgetful but way more so when I was younger. I would forget my keys all the time and have to jump through a window to get in. One time while jumping through a window I knocked over some childhood mementos of hers and completely shattered them. The neighbors constantly complained about me. I'd have my girlfriend at the time show up in a schoolgirl outfit and fuck her brains out loudly. One time my roommate was gone and we went into her bedroom to watch Star Wars and eat pizza (I didn't have a TV), pretty sure we got crumbs everywhere, might have fucked in her bed too, I don't remember. I broke some shit in the kitchen that wound up coming out of her deposit and I never reimbursed her.

So yeah, if you bring a girl on and she's a bad roommate, there's always a way to troll the shit out of her and make her life hell.

[427Life]

My newbie two cents is live by yourself. Logistics are king and anyone else where you live can and or will cause problems.

[Mother Russia]

OP, why are you looking for roomates on craigs list of all places? The internet has moved on, CL is not a safe place to look for roomates anymore and hasn't been for a long time, if ever it was.

[Phatom]

I had when I was in New York for summer class- it only lasted for a day.The girl liked studying and was not attractive. I asked to be moved mainly because I wanted a single for myself and got a room in a better building.

Some colleges have gender-neutral room assignments, therefore, you get to have a female roommate. At the same time, I don't think it would have been at all exciting at all. A different experience would be to have a hot/cute girl as a roommate not an average or ugly one.

[zaqan]

(08-14-2015 12:17 PM)Diop Wrote:  

The first female roommate who moved into my spare bedroom a few years ago was a grad student who liked to complain about "how small" the kitchen and bedroom were and "how easy" it got dirty, even though she saw the place beforehand and I warned her about all of these things before she moved in. She couldn't be bothered to clean any of the common areas, of course. She then got passive aggressive by doing things like talking loudly on her phone with her bedroom door open about "her crappy place" when she knew I could hear it from the living room and putting the AC on full-blast whenever I wasn't around (she wasn't paying utilities). I eventually kicked her out after she came home and trashed the place a few times after her drunken "girlsss nights" with her fat slutty friends and was more than 3 weeks late paying her rent after the third month and ignored my warnings.

Nice shit tests.

[~wrIghter~]

Having the spot to yourself for a bit might be awesome and reserving the extra room for guest? Either way I'm sure this screening for a roomie could be a fun process, haha.

[samsamsam]

Just don't.

[kaeru]

I had, when i lived in London. The place was a four people flat share, people came and went but this german girl stayed for about 3-4 months.

Besides the fact that she had a rather funny boyfriend who i once saw walk around the flat in tighty briefs, she didn't help at all for the usual chores, and left a tremendous amount of hair which clogged the shower multiple times. Guess who had to take care of that mess ?

As long as money permits it I'm never renting a shared place again (even all dudes). I find the little money saved is not worth the hassle.

[Conscious Pirate]

Enough. They're fucked. Allow me to regale you with my tales of woe.

Currently living with a female housemate in the SJW heartland of Inner West, Sydney. She's early thirties, I'm late thirties. Been living in this current situation for about 3 months. The kindest thing I can say is that she is a nice person. So far. But it's kind of a by product I'm thinking, of the fact that she's the dumbest human being I have ever met. Like walking-liability type stupid.

After moving in I find out she's a raging alcoholic to the point of being black out drunk every night & she's started asking me to source other gear for her as well. The main house consists of 2 bedrooms & a large open living/dining/kitchen. When she is not at work, she is camped out on the couch watching TV, drinking & pulling bongs (when she can get her chubby mits on em - ). Most nights she sits up till all hours & will put away 3 bottles of $5 wine a night. Diet consists entirely of spaghetti bolognese (only thing she knows how to make) & oven baked crumbed chicken tenders which I often find burnt in the oven at 2am when I get up for a glass of water &/or a slash. Oven still on. The house has not one brick wall, it would go up in flames in an instant.

Upon investigation, I've realised that the camping out on the lounge in the living room is in part because her double bed is in fact, an inflatable "stay over" bed. No wonder. The couch is comfee as fuck. Not only that, but she also doesn't own a TV. So she uses the main house TV. ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

I spend most of my time in my room or out on the front verandah but when I have to cook, there she is. Usually asking me what I think about whatever lesbian drama or other rubbish she's watching. My standard answer (it's really rolling off the tongue now) is "I don't know, I don't watch TV." Which brings me to my next point. She goes on & on about being gay (boy haircut) & all the butch dykes who hit her up on whatever gross webite she's trolling for bitches on & why won't some hot femme chick fall for her etc. Drunk rants like these. She is super picky about women & hasn't been with one for years from what i can gather, but openly confesses to reward-fucking a dude who she dislikes but provides her with weed.

She's lazy as fuck too. The only thing she'll do is the dishes. And mop every other week. Also, she's just been given the arse from her dental nurse job because she keeps rocking up at midday. 3 warnings issued in 3 months at 32 years of age. The latest one was issued yesterday because she took last week off to visit her sick dog who was "dying" but "pulled through luckily." I'm starting to look elsewhere, moving in here was out of necessity not choice at the time.

Previously, I had lived on my own in a very discreet studio for 2 year. Heaven. But prior to that was contestant number two...

Also a necessity move at the time, this one was a nasty piece of work.

Right after I moved in I realised she was a raging bong smoker getting through about a half ounce a week. Again either on the living room couch or in her room while she smashed longnecks. This is nothing to say of her bi monthly meth parties where she & her FIFO boyfriend (good dude actually) would hit the pipe for 2-3 day benders. After I witnessed my first one of these, she accused me of not paying her rent about 3 weeks into my stay there & refused to believe that I had paid her. I walked her thru the scenario from two days prior when while standing in a trio with her meth dealer. I had handed her the rent with which she handed straight over to him. She denied this ever took place & from then was always suspicious. Her boyfriend was more understanding however possibly the biggest chump I've met. 2 weeks in the mine for a week off while he's supporting a crack head who behave like an imbecile & abuses him on the comedown.

I came across ROK & RvF around about that time & well, needless to say things went down hill from there.

[Snurby]

No experience with female roommates, but in the process of kicking my 4-year roommate out, I'm done with sharing my place full-time, gonna AirBnB the spare room and see how that goes.
Since I'm in Toronto, an out-of-town visitor should be hella more tolerable than the random local.

[brob]

(08-14-2015 10:24 PM)Mother Russia Wrote:  

OP, why are you looking for roomates on craigs list of all places? The internet has moved on, CL is not a safe place to look for roomates anymore and hasn't been for a long time, if ever it was.

In my ad, I ask that if they're interested then to send me their facebook or some kind of social media to look them up on so I can get a feel for who they are and to avoid Craiglist killers. I haven't yet found a better site for finding roommates but if anyone knows of some then feel free to recommend. I know there are some paid sites out there but I haven't looked at those yet.

[jayyrod1]

I have had 3 female room mates before and 2 of them were the worst room mates I've ever had. Period.

I find more often than not that female room mates are more disgusting than the worse male roomie you've ever had. Think leaving food on dishes in the sunk is bad? Or smelly gun clothes stinking up the lau dry room? Get a female room mate and its going to be twice as many clothes. Get ready for bloody tampons sitting on too if the bahteoom trash can. Hell that would be better than one girl room mate I had who was flushing tampons.
I told her 2 weeks after moving in when I caught her jamming a plunger down the toilet, you flush a tampon? She chuckles no of course not... I said you know where on a septic tank and you can't put this down there right? " that's not true, I've flushed tampons my while life and never had a problem." ( yeah, a problem SHE had to deal with). Anyways I called out a plumber to check the pipes because MY bathroom, upstairs, wasn't draining right. Guy does 20 minutes worth of conversation. hey bud, wanna see what's causing your problems? He pulls a fucking handful of tampons out of the j curve in her bathroom toilet and I fucking lost it. I said, girl get in here and look what this man found in tour toilet. She comes over and has the gall to say, are those tampons? Plumber man says yes ma'am , a toilets worst enemy. She replies, oh that's interesting, I don't flush tampons. That must have been from a previous room mate or something.

Overall this woman was just nasty. She brought a lotnof guys home, which I didn't mind cause I brought just as many women home, but these guys had no respect for my shit and she didn't either. We had a communal living room that I furnished. Couple couches, TV, game system, and a couple acoustic guitars. My number one rule when it came to using this area was treat everything here like it isbyour own, and no one, NO ONE, touches the guitars. That goes for everyone you invite over. A week after the toikrt fiasco I come home a l drunk and hear her in the living room with a guy. I don't usually hang out there when she has company but I heard the faint plucking of my guitar, and I walk in and this guy is leaned back on the couch with my guitar, and his dirty ass shoes on the couch. Needless to say, I lost it. She lied about how she 'told him the rules'.... Yeah, ran in to him a few days later and apologized for losing my shit and taking it out on him, he apologized as well, said that hone girl told him he could do it.

The other girl was notorious for eating my food and using all of my consumables then lying about. This girl barely ever bought groceries but she was cooking all the time. It wasn't until I got laid off work for a few months and had to collect unemployment that I realized someone was eating my food. When I confrontedbher, she says, oh I thought that was food for the house. Yeah bitch, MY food.

Just a few cases, these girls didn't last 6 months before ibhad them evicted. I was doing them a favour because they couldn't afford to live in the dorms and these two girls in particular, lived very far away to commute to the school I lived near.... Oh man I'll never do another girl a favour like that. They paid rent, utilities and all that but fuck man they thought they owned everything just because they slept there.

The one female room mate I had was great though, best room mate ever. She got a job in town and moved in from out of state. She was dating one of my best buds at the time and needed a place to live for temporarily so she could work and build up some cash for her own place. My buddy was still living with his parents and he couldn't house her but he was always welcome to chillbat our place and sleep on the couch or her bed, whatever. Anyways, this girl was clean. In talking about clean clean like she did the dishes BEFORE she even ate the dinner she cooked. She vacuumed the communal areas once a week and picked up after company if they ever left stuff out, paper plates, soda, pizza stain on the coffee table.... If I had a half hamper full of laundry, she would thrown it iin with her load whatever she could to not waste water. Whatever was in the dryer she would fold and lay out on the xouch for me to out up towels, linens, yes even my clothes.
She even cooked for me a lot. Granted, she cooked for herself but its tough cooking for one person and you always end up making too much food and having yo store it. Not her, 7 oh clock every night there was a plate at the table for me. If I wasn't at home in time or stayed out doing whatever, it would be wrapped and iin the fridge. Anyways... Awesome room mate. We fucked a few times when her boyfriend/my best friend were broke up and we got along awesomely. I totally would have LTR'd her but we decided not to since she was leaving the country to study marine biology .

Oh dammit I'm ranting. Sorry Bud let's get back on track.

Its almost always a bad idea to have female room mates. If your interested in doing it or you need to for whatever reason.... Go to her current living areangmebt one day when she isn't expecting it and tell her you want to see how she lives before you can consider her more seriously as a room mate.
Check out her pad and see if you have similar standards of cleanliness. This will be a big influence on how comfortable you can be in your own house.

Honestly though, I think it comes down to luck in finding a good female room mate. At least with a male room mate, your more likely to settle differences and problems through conversation than being lied to over it.

Good luck.

[Hotwheels]

Never had a female roommate. Hell, only had a male roommate for a week.

Not a fan of sharing my space.

I am curious though, for the guys that have/had broads in their place. Ever walk around airing out your junk?

Curious what the reaction was.

[easternwomenrule]

It's a total nightmare!! All the guys in the house will fight for her. The bro vibe won't exist.

Two of my house mates became my long terms where it was a totally nightmare had a fight cause we lived in the same house.

All I can say is "dont shit where you eat." It seems like a good idea but it's a total nightmare cause you will develop feelings and the boys living in the house will fight like cats and dogs.

[Dr. Howard]

Adding back in a few of the examples of positive experiences here.

Moving INTO a female's apartment to be the roomate is much less volatile than having a female move into yours. If a chick is looking for a roomate, and accepts a male roomate, the rules are already written and she's probably pretty easy going.

[Bey]

(08-14-2015 07:19 PM)AnonymousBosch Wrote:  

This is the biggest danger, so look to her for signs of attraction to you in the interview. My solution was to call on my experiences at being friendzoned in my teens, and do it to them them during the initial stages: "I'm sure we'll get along - you remind me so much of my sister."

It's clearly-stating you could never think of them in that way, without negative connotations.

If you don't, or it doesn't work, expect an increasing escalation of Girl Game Tactics, due to girls believing whatever they desire, they deserve, (and whilst these sound initially harmless, you'll see where it ends up):

- constant nagging to accompany them on social and shopping expeditions as 'stealth dates';

- sudden revelations of previously-hidden loves of bands and movies you like;

- your t-shirts start becoming pyjamas or housewear for whenever their stuff is in the wash, and 'it doesn't matter' if they're dirty;

- fishing for compliments on their looks before they go out;

- needing things in the bathroom when you're showering;

- sulkiness and door slamming if your bring other girls home;

- condoms you knew were there missing from your bedside drawer when you do bring girls home;

- increasingly desperate appeals to emotion.

This last one is the danger zone for out of control bullshit as they increasingly-ply you emotionally in the hope you'll Mate Select them. This starts as an upward progression of trying to make you see them as higher value than they are:

- "Do you think [that girl on tv] is pretty?"

- "Do you think men and women can just be friends?"

- "I'm joining the gym. Would you help me train?"

- "[This random guy] asked me out on a date. What do you think I should do?"

- "I have a [new, never-seen] boyfriend and he's [smarter / taller / better looking / wealthier / more accomplished] than you. Are you jealous?"

- "This guy in the bar is abusing me. You should fight for me."

When this doesn't work, the downward progression begins, now she is trying to sell herself as damaged and abused, so you'll ride in on your White Steed and rescue her. Thus begins a tedious and predictable sequence of deliberately-manipulative crap I've heard from multiple would-be partners over the years.

- "My [current / previous] boyfriend is treading me bad."

- "Men always treat me bad."

- "I have a lot of emotional problems need help".

- "He hits me."

- "I'm scared / upset. Can I sleep in your bed tonight?"

- "I was raped by my boyfriend / a man / multiple men / my father"

- "Because of this damage, i'm out of control and a danger to myself, so even though the police strangely weren't involved after my abuse and it was before I knew you or you were otherwise absent you should always protect me so this doesn't happen again."

I'm so experienced in this progression, the moment I read about the girl telling her would-be boyfriend about 'Haven Monahan', I knew the reality of the UVA Rape Story.

Amazing! This, word-for-word, actually happened to me with two of my previous female flatmates.

[crupiea]

There really is no upside to this and you know this deep down.

Imagine a world where, if you cut the cheese, there will be someone there to tell you that it is rude and make you feel bad.

Get real drunk, get nagged about it.

Want to watch sport center non stop, get hassled.

It took my literally years to figure out that there are lots of people in the world that think the Three Stooges are not funny. I was a grown man in the Navy when I discovered it. I couldnt believe that there were people that didnt find them funny.

They are called woman and its not just the stooges they dont like.

Find a male room mate and thank us later. You arent getting laid from this woman so forget that idea.

[velkrum]

i've had female roommates for years and have had zero negative experiences.
I prefer female roommates to a guy roommate.

Girls are way more responsible, way more respectful, cleaner and they love to cook for everyone !!
Guys bring nothing but trouble, financial instability and rebellion.

If you are lucky enough to find the right guy roommate, the experience will be PRICELESS because like minded guys create a brotherhood, where as women do not.

[optimus]

My advice? Get a cheaper* place and live by yourself. If you put a girl, you have higher chances to include drama and/or problems to your life. Sharing a place with a guy is useful but might cock-block you. There is a HUGE difference saying to a girl you live by yourself to saying you have a roommate.



* if the apartment is yours, rent it and move to a cheaper place or put the extra room in AirBNB. It helps with expenses and you won't have a roommate 30 days/month.

[Pareto]

I've had one this past year as part of a uni house share. There were three of us guys, and one girl in total.

She cleaned up after herself (and us sometimes), she paid rent, she even joined in with our videogaming sessions. She sometimes came out with us on nights out, watched the football (soccer) and I even taught her the majority of the rules for this years SuperBowl. Whilst not good-looking, she was feminine in character but was still able to fit in.

On the other hand, she sometimes did bring boyfriends back, and I also had to help with the fallout from breakups with said boyfriends. Plus having a female presence did prevent the house being a true bachelor pad.

Overall, I did enjoy her company in the house, because in a sense she was "one of us" guys. However, bringing guys back and having a female in the house did become a bit of a killer for picking up girls - couldn't blame it on the logistics considering we were a two minute walk from the clubs.

Pros and Cons both with and without a female around. It's down to personal preference and the girl in question.

[Conscious Pirate]

(08-15-2015 08:08 AM)jayyrod1 Wrote:  

I have had 3 female room mates before and 2 of them were the worst room mates I've ever had. Period.

I find more often than not that female room mates are more disgusting than the worse male roomie you've ever had. Think leaving food on dishes in the sunk is bad? Or smelly gun clothes stinking up the lau dry room? Get a female room mate and its going to be twice as many clothes. Get ready for bloody tampons sitting on too if the bahteoom trash can. Hell that would be better than one girl room mate I had who was flushing tampons.
I told her 2 weeks after moving in when I caught her jamming a plunger down the toilet, you flush a tampon? She chuckles no of course not... I said you know where on a septic tank and you can't put this down there right? " that's not true, I've flushed tampons my while life and never had a problem." ( yeah, a problem SHE had to deal with). Anyways I called out a plumber to check the pipes because MY bathroom, upstairs, wasn't draining right. Guy does 20 minutes worth of conversation. hey bud, wanna see what's causing your problems? He pulls a fucking handful of tampons out of the j curve in her bathroom toilet and I fucking lost it. I said, girl get in here and look what this man found in tour toilet. She comes over and has the gall to say, are those tampons? Plumber man says yes ma'am , a toilets worst enemy. She replies, oh that's interesting, I don't flush tampons. That must have been from a previous room mate or something.

Overall this woman was just nasty. She brought a lotnof guys home, which I didn't mind cause I brought just as many women home, but these guys had no respect for my shit and she didn't either. We had a communal living room that I furnished. Couple couches, TV, game system, and a couple acoustic guitars. My number one rule when it came to using this area was treat everything here like it isbyour own, and no one, NO ONE, touches the guitars. That goes for everyone you invite over. A week after the toikrt fiasco I come home a l drunk and hear her in the living room with a guy. I don't usually hang out there when she has company but I heard the faint plucking of my guitar, and I walk in and this guy is leaned back on the couch with my guitar, and his dirty ass shoes on the couch. Needless to say, I lost it. She lied about how she 'told him the rules'.... Yeah, ran in to him a few days later and apologized for losing my shit and taking it out on him, he apologized as well, said that hone girl told him he could do it.

The other girl was notorious for eating my food and using all of my consumables then lying about. This girl barely ever bought groceries but she was cooking all the time. It wasn't until I got laid off work for a few months and had to collect unemployment that I realized someone was eating my food. When I confrontedbher, she says, oh I thought that was food for the house. Yeah bitch, MY food.

Just a few cases, these girls didn't last 6 months before ibhad them evicted. I was doing them a favour because they couldn't afford to live in the dorms and these two girls in particular, lived very far away to commute to the school I lived near.... Oh man I'll never do another girl a favour like that. They paid rent, utilities and all that but fuck man they thought they owned everything just because they slept there.

The one female room mate I had was great though, best room mate ever. She got a job in town and moved in from out of state. She was dating one of my best buds at the time and needed a place to live for temporarily so she could work and build up some cash for her own place. My buddy was still living with his parents and he couldn't house her but he was always welcome to chillbat our place and sleep on the couch or her bed, whatever. Anyways, this girl was clean. In talking about clean clean like she did the dishes BEFORE she even ate the dinner she cooked. She vacuumed the communal areas once a week and picked up after company if they ever left stuff out, paper plates, soda, pizza stain on the coffee table.... If I had a half hamper full of laundry, she would thrown it iin with her load whatever she could to not waste water. Whatever was in the dryer she would fold and lay out on the xouch for me to out up towels, linens, yes even my clothes.
She even cooked for me a lot. Granted, she cooked for herself but its tough cooking for one person and you always end up making too much food and having yo store it. Not her, 7 oh clock every night there was a plate at the table for me. If I wasn't at home in time or stayed out doing whatever, it would be wrapped and iin the fridge. Anyways... Awesome room mate. We fucked a few times when her boyfriend/my best friend were broke up and we got along awesomely. I totally would have LTR'd her but we decided not to since she was leaving the country to study marine biology .

Oh dammit I'm ranting. Sorry Bud let's get back on track.

Its almost always a bad idea to have female room mates. If your interested in doing it or you need to for whatever reason.... Go to her current living areangmebt one day when she isn't expecting it and tell her you want to see how she lives before you can consider her more seriously as a room mate.
Check out her pad and see if you have similar standards of cleanliness. This will be a big influence on how comfortable you can be in your own house.

Honestly though, I think it comes down to luck in finding a good female room mate. At least with a male room mate, your more likely to settle differences and problems through conversation than being lied to over it.

Good luck.

Dude, great story's.

But, I have a suggestion...

You got flow, but throw in some punctuation & syntax.

That shit was really hard to read.

[Gmac]

I lived with a number of female roommates over the years in a multi story townhouse (I'm no longer there). I only ever banged one of them, twice, and luckily enough for me she kept a lid on it. I do recommend rooming with women at some point as it will prepare you for living with a future LTR and all the stupid, insane shit you'll be seeing and dealing with (i.e. hair, makeup, bloody tampons all over the bathroom or strings hanging out of their underwear in the morning... or a new guy after guy after guy leaving their rooms every sat/sun morning). Most women are even bigger slobs than men and living with at least one will prepare you for that.

What I will say about living with american women is they are even bigger drama whores when you live with them than when you're dating them... or god forbid friends with one. You will hear non-stop bullshit drama about asshole boyfriends and online dating (aka dinner whoring). You'll hear them complain about the girl who brings cupcakes to work and never eats them herself because they think she secretly wants the other women to gain weight (who gives a flying fuck?). They will tell you about the guy they banged in the bathroom at the club and all the exes they fucked in other towns while visiting. You'll see them eat all kinds of junk food and try all kinds of dumb ass diets. You will hear them fake a lot of orgasms and still scream like pornstars. You will get so much dirt on them to the point you would never want to date any of them. Too much goddamn information.

I could write a book about this topic, but I digress. If you want to bang a roommate and live to tell the tale you need to be sure that A) alcohol is involved, B) you don't currently have a girlfriend she knows about, C) you are discrete - meaning if there are other roommates they don't find out about it, D) your friends are smart enough to not let her know that they know after the deed is done.

Banging your roommate is a double edged sword and I don't recommend even attempting it for newbies. On one hand it's a novelty and at first glance seems extremely convenient. On the other hand it can cost you your reputation and current girlfriend or keep you forever cockblocked in the future.

At the end of the day it's way more trouble than it's worth. These chicks will try to get out of paying rent and do all kinds of other dumb shit like get their boyfriends involved in housemate affairs. It's much easier and less volatile living with other men - women are just a huge headache to deal with. I'm sure you can tell by my tone that this topic gets me a bit heated.

[Menace]

I have had two (each at a different time). Both found on Craigslist. Both FOB Chinese. Banged 1 of the two and she was my gf for a while (did not have another gf, see Gmac's point B). I did it knowing the sacrifice I was making (no other girls in house), but because of my situation at the time I felt it was not unreasonable. That being said, I would not recommend it. Having a girl in the house (whether you are banging her or not) just creates a vibe that is not conducive to bangs.

Also, do not under any circumstance think of doing this with the goal (whether you want to admit it or not) of eventually banging her. This is the worst idea ever and is super beta.

[DeepGreen]

It is not worth it. Living arrangements ranked, from best to worst:

Having your own place>Room/flatmates who are ghosts>one guy roommate>multiple guy roommates>one female roommate>multiple female room/flatmates.

I have had 3 female flatmates at once.

This was during my first trip to Germany so it didn't last as long and was not that bad since I was only there 2 months, each weekend I was out of town traveling, Thursday night I was usually out with my friends, and the first and last week I was gone the whole time traveling.

I get picked up from the train station by my program coordinators (this was an internship type program). On the way to my flat, one of the coordinators, who turned out to be a cool dude and who I went drinking with, told me I was in for quite a ride because the two girls I would be living with were punk rocker types who were always partying and drinking. No problems, I liked to party and drink as well, and was a member of a fraternity at the time and lived in the fraternity house. When I enter my flat I see multiple empty liquor bottles near the entrance, and in the kitchen there is a neatly arranged group of empty beer bottles so large you have to carefully walk around it so you don't knock any over. I won't lie, during parties our fraternity house could get fucking rank and disgusting over the weekend, but we always cleaned that shit up the next day.

The living room, kitchen table and kitchen itself are all pretty fucking disgusting. Fortunately my room was empty and unused so it was in pristine condition.

Flatmate #1: A Spanish girl with black hair and blue eyes. Sounds good right? Yeah, no. She was the punk rocker/antifa type. Nose ring, side of her head was either buzzed or completely shaved. Bleached white girl dreads and the rest of her hair was always being dyed some new color, some variation of blue, green or purple. Always wearing leggings so you know her hygiene was shit from all the sweat constantly accumulating in the crotch/stankpuss area.

Flatmate #2: Local German girl with black hair blue eyes. A bit more soft spoken but also into rock/metal. But just as disorganized and as heavy of a drinker as #1.

Flatmate #3: German, brown hair blue eyes, pretty tall even for a German chick, but not as tall as me. She had a boyfriend and was the most reasonable, which still isn't saying much.

HIGHLIGHTS

#1 and I bonded at first since we both spoke Spanish. She seemed cool at first, but I get the feeling she kind of liked me, but then I think she got pissed because I didn't make a move on her because I mean c'mon what guy could resist some punk rocker chick who always wears leggings and has mutilated her hair beyond all recognition? One day when I came home from class she was eating lunch and confronted me about having used her Q-Tips and how she knew it was me because she knew the other girls couldn't have done it. I told her I hadn't used them but she remained incredulous. She eventually got a Swedish boyfriend who also had dreads, but somehow his were even longer and nastier than hers. I get the feeling she brought him around so much to try and rub it in my face but I rarely saw them since I was either out with my own friends or in another city.

#2 didn't really give me any grief but she told me that the repair man wouldn't fix the faulty light in the bathroom until the bathroom was clean and that it was my responsibility to clean the bathroom since she and #1 had, in her words, cleaned the flat as a favor to me, the same flat they had been living in several months prior and had littered with empty booze bottles. Chick logic, go figure.

#3 came into my room one day asking me what my schedule was for the day, so that she could subtlety try to figure out a fuck schedule for her and her boyfriend. I read between the lines and just to fuck with her I told her I probably wouldn't be out of the apartment until 5pm, she asked me this around 1pm. I could visibly see the frustration on her face as she failed to convince me to leave the apartment for an extended period of time so she and her borefriend could fuck.

Ditto what everyone else said about bloody tampons and shit. They also made a weekly chore schedule for the house that alternated tasks, but that none of us stuck to.

They never ate any of my food, but this could have just as well been because they either(occasionally) cooked for themselves and because I always cooked my own food, which usually consisted of some sort of fishball noodle soup. So unless they were willing to snack on raw ingredients or prepare my food into a proper meal themselves, they were going to be unable to eat my food.

So in conclusion, if you have female room mates, they will:

-Get pissy when you don't make a move on them because come on I was born with a vagina and why don't you wanna get in there? Are you some sort of fag?
-They WILL trash the apartment, either with empty booze bottles, bloody tampons, empty food containers, or one of the many products they use to mutilate their hair to point where only an equally unhygienic punk rocker will want to stick it in them.
-They will grudgingly clean the house that they dirtied and then act like it was a personal favor to you.
-They will bring dudes around the house and either try to get you to leave or fuck them while you sleep in order to keep you awake? Of course that requires at least one of them to be good at fucking. Spoiler Alert: They weren't.
-They will PMS over trivial bullshit and try to take it out on you.
-Try and fail to get to you via passive aggressiveness when they realize you are never really there because you have a life that not only does not include them but does not rely on them in any way shape or form.


Fun tidbit, towards the end of my program I was talking to my program coordinator over drinks and he asked me if I thought #1 and 2 were lesbians? I told him I could see it, they were probably on the path to munching each other's carpet but that probably my moving in had derailed that, leaving #2 out in the cold to flick her bean by herself as I know for a fact she was the only one from that flat not getting any.

[Conscious Pirate]

(08-14-2015 07:43 PM)brob Wrote:  

All great advice so far, really appreciate the insight! I'm meeting her for drinks this coming week so we'll see what kind of first impression I get. If she's as hot as she is in her pictures then I maybe I should just go for the bang and tell her the room is no longer available. Then add a thoughtful new post to the Craiglist game thread.

So brob, I'm keen for an update from you on this. How'd it all work out?

1. Did you get the bang?
2. Flatmated with benefits?
3. Flatmated & friend zoned?
4. None of the above? Please explain.

I ask because I was very triggered by this thread & have been dealing with the repressed memories that have been bubbling to the surface ever since. It has caused me to take a step back from posting on RvF for the most part, while I steady myself & cool my jets as is called for when conversing with gentlemen such as we find ourselves here.

I have some more female flatmate grief I wish to purge...

The Curious Case Of The Frontside Skid Mark

After a domestic dustup with a male flatmate of 2 years sharing a 4 bedroom suburban property I was looking to move closer to the city, somewhere in my beloved Inner West pocket of Sydney. I found a bedroom in a two bedder at the top of Enmore Road, with a let's say 'jolly' female flatmate who worked as a therapist to kids with Downs & Aspergers.

Quite intelligent, very big heart, fat beyond anything I'd ever laid eyes on....

Orca type. In my first week there, she hung out her laundry. I couldn't resist trying it on when she was out. I'm about 5'11" & 85kgs with big calves (I do lots of walking) & I could fit both legs into one leg of her jeans. At the waist line, it would've taken 4 of me (I'm a 32") to fill it out. But I digress...

She worked a lot with regular hours while I was running a bar & keeping hospo hours. But within a month of moving in I noticed a strange reoccurrence...

Shit stains on the inside front of the bowl.

The bathroom in this joint was tiny. About 1500 x 2500 with the entrance at the narrow end & a bath/shower lying laterally at the far end. Toilet first on your left as you enter, jammed right into the corner with a vanity on the left between said toilet & bath.

I started to notice shit-stains on the front of the bowl when I would go to take a piss & have the lid & seat on the upright. It mystified me for about 2 weeks until I applied some fat-fucker, sponge-on-a-stick type logic.

My first thought was that she was actually mounting the bowl, like 'Kanga" style (Aussies will get the reference) but I wasn't accounting for her girth & that the toilet was wedged right into the corner. She was actually having to perch her fat ass on the rim in order to slide one down the frontside of the bowl. I noticed stains on the underside of the seat-rim that couldn't be budged also. It made every bathroom experience a horrorshow thereafter for my INJF brain

...Sorry if you were hungry or horny prior to reading that but RvF is my therapy & you bastards brought this on...