[zerocool]

25 yo, 8, main girl for a few months, she was pushing for more commitment, telling me she loved me, planning vacations etc.

With work and side plate obligations my game started to slide a little. She starts getting emotional cyring one night about my lack of time for her and that I have other side girls. Told her in no uncertain terms that she's sabatoging a good thing. She texts me the next day saying she's sorry, she loves me. Radio silence.

Fast forward a few weeks and I ask her if she can put my stuff (an expensive watch, some clothes, other personal stuff) in her mailbox and I can come pick it up. She says she's out of town in XYZ city and sends a pic of her posing in hotel room. I ask her if her roomate can do it, no response.

Were it not for the expensive watch and other stuff I'd just let it slide but I'm willing to hear some suggestions on how to get my stuff back. Most other girls in the past have willingly returned my stuff when I asked.

[amusedmastery]

You've got a ransom scenario on your hands here. Fear not though, as I've seen this before with stage 5 clinger types. Here's what you can do.

1. Sneak approach. Go to her place under the vague guise of "discussing the relationship" and get her to hand you your stuff mid conversation. Once your stuff is in your hand, abruptly leave and continue radio silence.

2. Break into her pad and steal back your trash. (Lots of legal complications here)

3. Call the cops yourself, have them meet you there and they'll make her release the stolen property.

4. Go hit up her roommate to grab your stuff while she's gone. If roommate is hot, commence game and try for the bang.

Hope this helps.

[kaotic]

How much is that expensive watch ? Serious question.

[zerocool]

A few hundred $, but it's got all my sleep and fitness tracking data on it.

amusedmastery good advice but 2, 3, and 4 are out. 1 may have dire consequences should she realize what's just happened and call the cops on me to report a domestic violence incident.

[kaotic]

(07-27-2015 04:21 PM)zerocool Wrote:  

A few hundred $, but it's got all my sleep and fitness tracking data on it.

amusedmastery good advice but 2, 3, and 4 are out. 1 may have dire consequences should she realize what's just happened and call the cops on me to report a domestic violence incident.

Doesn't sound like much of a loss to be honest.

If you're worried she'd pull that shit and she's an emotional wreck, consider the watch a sunken investment in breaking up with her. Do not try and get it.

If you really really really want that watch.

Pull Option 1, set up a meet at her place, make sure to tell her you'll be picking up your stuff, but you DO want to talk, BUT you have limited time.

Personally I'd say fuck it about the watch and move on.

[STriple-R]

(07-27-2015 04:24 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(07-27-2015 04:21 PM)zerocool Wrote:  

A few hundred $, but it's got all my sleep and fitness tracking data on it.

amusedmastery good advice but 2, 3, and 4 are out. 1 may have dire consequences should she realize what's just happened and call the cops on me to report a domestic violence incident.

Doesn't sound like much of a loss to be honest.

If you're worried she'd pull that shit and she's an emotional wreck, consider the watch a sunken investment in breaking up with her. Do not try and get it.

If you really really really want that watch.

Pull Option 1, set up a meet at her place, make sure to tell her you'll be picking up your stuff, but you DO want to talk, BUT you have limited time.

Personally I'd say fuck it about the watch and move on.

Why would you say "fuck the watch"? It's not that big of a deal to retrieve it..

[sylo]

I don't know dude. You pretty much have to have the mindset thatleft over property will be forfieted upon seperation. I don't think I have ever gotten anything back, including Wiis, Tiffany cuff links, CDs (when they were a thing) Ipods, whiskey etc

Name of the game Zerocool. Good luck though, I would like to know how it goes.

[kaotic]

(07-27-2015 05:03 PM)STriple-R Wrote:  

(07-27-2015 04:24 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(07-27-2015 04:21 PM)zerocool Wrote:  

A few hundred $, but it's got all my sleep and fitness tracking data on it.

amusedmastery good advice but 2, 3, and 4 are out. 1 may have dire consequences should she realize what's just happened and call the cops on me to report a domestic violence incident.

Doesn't sound like much of a loss to be honest.

If you're worried she'd pull that shit and she's an emotional wreck, consider the watch a sunken investment in breaking up with her. Do not try and get it.

If you really really really want that watch.

Pull Option 1, set up a meet at her place, make sure to tell her you'll be picking up your stuff, but you DO want to talk, BUT you have limited time.

Personally I'd say fuck it about the watch and move on.

Why would you say "fuck the watch"? It's not that big of a deal to retrieve it..

Why ?

Quote:

amusedmastery good advice but 2, 3, and 4 are out. 1 may have dire consequences should she realize what's just happened and call the cops on me to report a domestic violence incident.

That's why.

He seems pretty worried she'd flip her shit when showing up under the guise of "talking" then bounces once he gets it. This is the only reason I say forget about the watch, if this isn't the case and he isn't worried, go right ahead and get it.

I've left expensive stuff at an ex's, never bothered getting it.

[STriple-R]

Whoa completely missed that part. I would however find a way for getting my shit back. Just because it's my shit. No way the bitch is in charge at that point.

[DonnyGately]

(07-27-2015 05:15 PM)sylo Wrote:  

I don't know dude. You pretty much have to have the mindset thatleft over property will be forfieted upon seperation. I don't think I have ever gotten anything back, including Wiis, Tiffany cuff links, CDs (when they were a thing) Ipods, whiskey etc

Name of the game Zerocool. Good luck though, I would like to know how it goes.

Same here. Charge it to the game.

[AneroidOcean]

(07-27-2015 02:21 PM)zerocool Wrote:  

25 yo, 8, main girl for a few months, she was pushing for more commitment, telling me she loved me, planning vacations etc.

With work and side plate obligations my game started to slide a little. She starts getting emotional cyring one night about my lack of time for her and that I have other side girls. Told her in no uncertain terms that she's sabatoging a good thing. She texts me the next day saying she's sorry, she loves me. Radio silence.

Fast forward a few weeks and I ask her if she can put my stuff (an expensive watch, some clothes, other personal stuff) in her mailbox and I can come pick it up. She says she's out of town in XYZ city and sends a pic of her posing in hotel room. I ask her if her roomate can do it, no response.

Were it not for the expensive watch and other stuff I'd just let it slide but I'm willing to hear some suggestions on how to get my stuff back. Most other girls in the past have willingly returned my stuff when I asked.

I'm not sure why you didn't just tell her "look let's get together and talk soon. I'll hit you up." Then you could've gone over and talked to her and banged her out then grabbed your shit and bounced. Then you could slowly fade out of the picture.

Also, you could've salvaged after her being out of town and sending you the hotel picture by saying that you wanted to talk in person when she gets back, possibly even flirted with her if you think you could've pulled it off. Asking her if her roommate would do it was just cold-hearted in her eyes and you basically gave her all the incentive to not respond and give that watch to some other dude or sell it. Extremely low percentage move.

At this point you've gotta appeal to her emotions and see if you can get her to meet up with you so you can smooth things over in person. Maybe drop a little I miss you type stuff (without directly saying "I miss you" in case that wasn't clear).

[amusedmastery]

Ok....here's more: (similar to aneroidocean's idea above with dialogue)

5. Tell her you want to meet her at Starbucks. During the meetup, tell her "I was confused about the way things were heading." She'll then say, "What the hell does that mean??" You say, "Exactly". Frame it as a reset and go to her place to have sex. During the afterglow, find your stuff in her cat ridden apartment and hang out for a while. Take off with a brief goodbye makeout session. Final text 3 days later: "I'm confused about the way things are heading, it's complicated." Go "Bigfoot into the woods" and Ghost on her. Retain all of her texts for when she moves with a false rape allegation.

[samsamsam]

She doesn't sound like she would take it well if you tried to get your shit back under the guise of reconciliation/healing.

That could shift her into overdrive to become super vindictive.

If she was emotionally mature, she would just either mail it to you, or meet up with you and give it to you without any sort of difficulty. Meaning she just gives you a clean break.

By being dodgy, and playing games clearly says she wants to fix it with you. And when she finds out she can't it will hurt her more. It will hurt her even more when she thinks you are coming to reconcile and you don't.

[storm]

Do you know her family? Friends? Ask them if they ask for it the next time they visit her. If you have more time than sense you can do social circle game to do that. But if you are that thirsty for a few hundred... honestly you are probably better off threatening a lawsuit, but that will burn bridges fast.

[poutsara]

A Bronx Tale - 20 Dollars, or in your case, a watch. All it costs you to take car of your problem, is your watch. She's out of your life forever for the value of your watch. Sounds like a good thing to me.

Start from 1:08.

[amusedmastery]

6. Wait a couple of months when things cool out and show up at her house unannounced. Tell her you're here for your stuff and nothing else. If she refuses, that's one crazy, clepto bitch and you're done. She's got a felonious, spiteful little hamster with a burglar mask on its rodent face. What a repulsive woman.

[zerocool]

The benevolent beauty of this community lies within its combined contribution to abstract social interactions such as the question I posed.

@storm - Certainly not thirsty for a few hundred bro and threatening a lawsuit would be about the worst possible course of action. It’s the principal of the matter.

@AO - While I appreciate your empathetic appeal to my kindler gentler side, hypergamy drives a hard bargain. One in which I am disinclined to cede moral beliefs.

@samsamsam - Hit the nail on the head, specifically her emotional immaturity and her desire to reconnect.

In my initial description of the background facts I failed to mention a crucial detail; this is social circle game. A social circle that I am neither close with nor have been part of for very long. Be that as it may, there are a few remaining girls in this social circle I have yet to pursue. I come across as a socially proficient and charismatic fun guy who always has a good time. As such, I proffer two anecdotal courses of actions:

1) Drop the issue and let her keep the watch and other items of mine. She feels in her mind she won something and it gives her something to hold on to. I do not want to continue any sort of romantic relationship with her. In contrast, it provides me an avenue of discourse that may function as a DHV that I can parlay into successful pursuit of her friends.

2) Self preservation aside, continue to push the issue until resolution. I can only envision negative outcomes including possible legal issues, bodily harm, and loss of opportunities with her friends.

[samsamsam]

Maybe just make it a lesson learned. We have all been taught lessons that have had some financial impact. All part of life. Easier to say than to accept sometimes.

[Agreddor]

Do you have anything of hers you could trade for said watch?

[not-a-pua]

Maybe, for the future.
1. Don't spread your stuff around a girls place.

I understand that sometimes this just happens, so:

2. As you smell trouble, play cool, gather your stuff in advance, break up.

This can give you a clean break without all that drama.

[zerocool]

@poutsara, Bronx Tale, one of my favorite movies and an excellent analogy.

@Agreddor, insightful question. I started noticing some late stage red flags with the girl and began executing my slow fade. Upon my last get together with her I left a bag of her stuff at her place and inadvertently left my watch in that bag. I don't know that there is anything that I can trade.

@not-a-pua, yeah man, point well taken. She, like most girls I've been with, takes one of my t-shirts when they stay over and I never see it again. No big deal, I'm used to this and rarely ask for those back. I started a slow fade with this girl and during that time I purposefully neglected to collect my stuff at her place so as not to arouse suspicion of my departure.

[Gixxy]

Ask her if you can go to her place to talk. If you have a mutual friend, take them. If not, take one of your friends. Do not go alone. Show up on time, be polite, but professional and ask for your stuff. She'll give you your stuff and you leave. It really can be that simple. She won't act out with someone else there with you, and you can bet that there won't be a DV issue. Good luck.

[Cyclone419]

Time to just cut your losses and move on. You can buy another watch.

[storm]

(07-27-2015 09:56 PM)zerocool Wrote:  

TIn my initial description of the background facts I failed to mention a crucial detail; this is social circle game. A social circle that I am neither close with nor have been part of for very long. Be that as it may, there are a few remaining girls in this social circle I have yet to pursue. I come across as a socially proficient and charismatic fun guy who always has a good time.

Charge it to the game.

[Agreddor]

Why did you leave your watch in her bag ?