[Tail Gunner]

Bridgeport, Connecticut. Murder capital of New England. Three gang bangers approached me from a distance. I changed directions three times to avoid them. Each time, they changed direction to intercept me. They were getting off on it.

But you should have seen their faces when the role reversal occurred. As they got within striking distance, I stopped, stood my ground, thrust my hand into my pants pocket, and pulled my hand up so that the hammer of my Beretta rested just out-of-sight below the top of my front pants pocket.

All three sets of eyes immediately went straight to my hand. They stopped dead in their tracks. They did not know whether or not I had a handgun (I did). But the mere fact that I might have a handgun made them decide that they had other things to do. They crept around me and moved on to something -- or someone -- else.

The irony is that this incident happened while I walked through a security parking lot. I could have picked up a stone and hit the security office from where I stood. Those three punks could have cared less. Whatever they had planned was going to be quick and brutal. I might not be alive today if not for the presence of my Beretta.

The old saying is true: the police are still minutes away when seconds count. Always try to have a contingency plan in place -- even if it only involves tossing a decoy wallet at a mugger (filled with expired credit cards and a bit of currency) and running away.

[Dulceácido]

As several of you know, I lived in Colombia for many years and I am actually surprised how few times I was robbed or witnessed violent behavior. Very, very difficult to start a fight in Colombia.

Anyways, I was in Bogotá and I had taken a taxi from the airport to my apartment. I was severely hungover and slept most of the way--obviously the taxi driver noticed this. When we got to the apartment and I was getting out he told me it was $45,000 COP. I handed him $60,000 COP and was expecting change but I was standing outside the taxi. The driver sped off with my change.

That would be the end of the story, but I have a propensity for violence especially if you fuck me over and the driver didn't know that the apartment is situated on a series of one-way streets that have a red light before going back onto the main roadway, and this is always congested. And he probably thought, "He's a gringo. He won't do shit."

Not the case. I started running for the cab and I could see the driver looking back at me and looking forward at the oncoming traffic. As he approached the traffic jam, I saw him rolling up the windows and locking the doors of the car. When I got to the taxi I just started delivering front thrust kicks alongside the entire length of the car. He saw what I was doing (fucking up his car) and started yelling for me to "STOP!!!!". I didn't. It's a long, long red light at this intersection--he didn't know that--I did. I tried an elbow strike on the passenger window, but the window didn't break (actually hurt myself pretty severely, if there is a takeaway for you here, it's car windows don't break like you think they do or you see on TV--I fucked my elbow up, took weeks to heal), but this action, my determination, and the long red light kind of put the guy in a predicament... He didn't want to get out of the car because there was a crazy man fucking his car up and he certainly didn't want to deal with that. He couldn't go anywhere and the longer he stayed, the more fucked up his car was becoming...

Eventually, he rolled down the driver's side window and said, "HERE! TAKE IT" and handed me $200,000 COP.

So, I guess, technically, I mugged him??? I dunno. I think he gave me all the money he had. Fucking weird.

[Tail Gunner]

(12-17-2017 11:45 AM)Dulceácido Wrote:  

Eventually, he rolled down the driver's side window and said, "HERE! TAKE IT" and handed me $200,000 COP.

So, I guess, technically, I mugged him??? I dunno. I think he gave me all the money he had. Fucking weird.

Haha. Reminds me of an event that happened to me in Europe. A Russian homeless dude approached me (in a non-Russian country). He showed me a huge sore on his leg, said that he needed medicine, and that none of the locals would help. He approached because I was a "kind American."

As a general rule, I never give homeless people money (because many of them have substance abuse issues), but I sometimes help if I can, e.g., by buying them a meal. This guy's sore was so hideous that I gave him a few bucks. Then he said that that he needed some medicine. I said "fine -- just give me the money that I just gave to you." He did. I said "there is a drug store just around the corner, let's walk up there and I'll buy you some ointment, etc."

Now, he goes into his real pitch: There is a "special" drug store that will give him the medicine that he really needs -- and we need to take the bus to get there (where a few of his friends are likely waiting). I tell him to piss off. I keep the money that I originally handed to him and walk away. So, technically I got a homeless person to give back money!

[Going strong]

(12-17-2017 12:28 PM)Tail Gunner Wrote:  

(12-17-2017 11:45 AM)Dulceácido Wrote:  

Eventually, he rolled down the driver's side window and said, "HERE! TAKE IT" and handed me $200,000 COP.

So, I guess, technically, I mugged him??? I dunno. I think he gave me all the money he had. Fucking weird.

Haha. Reminds me of an event that happened to me in Europe. A Russian homeless dude approached me (in a non-Russian country). He showed me a huge sore on his leg, said that he needed medicine, and that none of the locals would help. He approached because I was a "kind American."

As a general rule, I never give homeless people money (because many of them have substance abuse issues), but I sometimes help if I can, e.g., by buying them a meal. This guy's sore was so hideous that I gave him a few bucks. Then he said that that he needed some medicine. I said "fine -- just give me the money that I just gave to you." He did. I said "there is a drug store just around the corner, let's walk up there and I'll buy you some ointment, etc."

Now, he goes into his real pitch: There is a "special" drug store that will give him the medicine that he really needs -- and we need to take the bus to get there (where a few of his friends are likely waiting). I tell him to piss off. I keep the money that I originally handed to him and walk away. So, technically I got a homeless person to give back money!

Much more impressive than that: you got a Russian to give back money! Now, that's a first!


^To your success!

Those, on the other hand, did not work so good:

[Dulceácido]

(12-17-2017 12:28 PM)Tail Gunner Wrote:  

(12-17-2017 11:45 AM)Dulceácido Wrote:  

Eventually, he rolled down the driver's side window and said, "HERE! TAKE IT" and handed me $200,000 COP.

So, I guess, technically, I mugged him??? I dunno. I think he gave me all the money he had. Fucking weird.

Haha. Reminds me of an event that happened to me in Europe. A Russian homeless dude approached me (in a non-Russian country). He showed me a huge sore on his leg, said that he needed medicine, and that none of the locals would help. He approached because I was a "kind American."

As a general rule, I never give homeless people money (because many of them have substance abuse issues), but I sometimes help if I can, e.g., by buying them a meal. This guy's sore was so hideous that I gave him a few bucks. Then he said that that he needed some medicine. I said "fine -- just give me the money that I just gave to you." He did. I said "there is a drug store just around the corner, let's walk up there and I'll buy you some ointment, etc."

Now, he goes into his real pitch: There is a "special" drug store that will give him the medicine that he really needs -- and at was g we need to take the bus to get there (where a few of his friends are likely waiting). I tell him to piss off. I keep the money that I originally handed to him and walk away. So, technically I got a homeless person to give back money!

Alright, this is great! Reminds of one time I had with whom I'll call The Reverse Psychology bum...

When I was in my second year of college, it was finals time and I had finished my last final of the semester. It was 1pm and I had nothing else to do, so I hit up the Irish Pub and started pounding Guinness and Jameson's. I was getting hammered with some other Irish guys and I started to get really wasted. This was in the day of "mini thins" (ephedrine) were legal, so I ate a few and kept drinking.

I eventually went to a bar I had on "lock down." I knew the bartenders and I tipped them regularly, so I wasn't really "charged" for drinks. I went in and my favorite bartender was working, I put my last $20 in her tip jar and said I'd just finished finals and wanted to get shitfaced, so I sat there and did so.

Walking back to my apartment a bum approached me and asked me if I had some extra change I could give him. Drunk and stammering, I turned my pockets inside out and showed him and told him I had absolutely nothing.

This guy says, "Damn, Brutha! You flat busted! It's tough out here on these streets, we need to stick together. I'll help you out." Then he empties his pockets and has like $1.20 in change and he hands me $0.60!!! I think he thought I was a homeless person or something! Of course, I gave him the change back and said I didn't need it. He said his name was Rubin and we shook hands. LOL

Weeks later, we would meet again. I was about to get into a fight with these vagrants on the street. I was heavily outnumbered. Out of fucking nowhere, here comes Rubin, he just starts punching motherfuckers, so I start punching motherfuckers and we wipe the sidewalk with these clowns.

After the scrap, he came over and asked if I was okay. I said I'm fine; my lip is busted and I think I'll have a black eye tomorrow, but no big deal and asked if he was okay. He said, "Good thang I'm black, cuz I think I got a black eye, too." Then I asked in street speak, "How you living?"
He said, "Im getting buy."

Then I emptied my pockets. I had $60.00. I gave him $30.00 and said, "It's tough out here on these streets; we gotta stick together."
He said, "Amen. Thank you Brutha."

And I never saw him again.

[Going strong]

^This is worth of the Holy Book.

GS (2, 1-6) Verily, verily, I say unto you: One day, it was in the first year of King Trump, the fallen apostle Dulceacido had succumbed to the sin of incontinence and drunkery. He then met a homeless person on a dark corner of his village. The homeless man, seeing Dulceacido in such a bad and impure shape, turned his own pocket inside out, and seeing as he had two shekels, he gave one to Dulceacido.

And so, one year later, Dulceacido, having mended his sinful ways and encountered the righteous ways of the Lord, was sober and hardworking, and his business was prospering, as were all businesses under King Trump the 1st.

And Dulceacido crosses paths with the homeless man, the very same that had helped him one year ago. And Dulceacido turns his own pocket inside out, and he has 2000 shekels in it, because he had just sold his crop of wheat and grapes, and was going to the market to buy honey and milk and rare Pepes.

Dulceacido then said to the homeless man: "You helped me in my time of need: my turn now, as God wishes it to be, brother", and he gave the homeless man half of his 2000 shekels. The homeless man was overjoyed and sang praise to the Lord, and he too reformed his ways and became sober and employed.

[TwinTurbo]

Lima, Peru: last night there after already spending a month in peru- I was a fucking idiot, I was alone leaving a club at 3am, and the Uber wait time was too long. So I decided to just get in one of those taxis waiting in the line by the club - (drunk me thought.. well this must be sort of official taxi line, it was a pretty nice club after all).

Told the cabbie where to go (and I'm native in Spanish), then played with my phone and shit. By the time I realized where he's taking me, it was pretty far off and I angrily told him to get back on track. Shortly after, 2 street thugs ran in front of the taxi and stopped it - opened my door and pulled me out and beat the shit out of me. The taxi drove off.
They must have hit me pretty hard because I blacked out, and when I regained consciousness my iphone, wallet and watch were gone.

I'm about 80% sure the taxi driver was in it with the thugs.

I certainly learned my lessons:
- DO NOT take normal taxis IF there's uber available, certainly not late night hours in high risk places like Lima.
- DO NOT fucking be distracted and looking at your phone instead of watching the route

And I've only got robbed once, which is not bad considering how much traveling and specially solo-wandering thru sketchy parts of the world I've done.

[Tail Gunner]

(12-17-2017 11:45 AM)Dulceácido Wrote:  

He didn't want to get out of the car because there was a crazy man fucking his car up and he certainly didn't want to deal with that. He couldn't go anywhere and the longer he stayed, the more fucked up his car was becoming...

Eventually, he rolled down the driver's side window and said, "HERE! TAKE IT" and handed me $200,000 COP.

While this is a great story, I do not want to leave the impression (to others reading this thread) that this is the way to handle such a situation. If you busted his window, he could have legitimately shot and killed you and then pled self-defense. With you dead, no one would know your side of the story -- just his side: "Crazy gringo busted my window and tried to kill me. I feared for my life!" You need to consider what a few dollars are worth to you.

My father was a madman when he was young. A trucker almost killed him and my mother doing something stupid on the road. My father cut him off, jumped on his sideboard, and tried to get into the truck. The trucker just kept repeating: "Get off my truck. Get off my truck." My father finally looks down and sees that the trucker is holding a handgun just below the window of the truck. My father -- got off his truck. If my father had busted the trucker's window, he could have died young.

I took several years of Krav Maga training. The three major precepts are (1) immediate defense, (2) immediate counter-strike, and (3) get away as quickly as possible. While the third precept is the easiest to do, it can also be the hardest to instill mentally -- especially for those of us who hate the thought of someone getting over on us. But you need to overcome this mental constraint if you do not want to risk permanent injury or loss of life.

In a life or death situation, of course anything goes. You must also stay and fight when you must protect a loved one or friends. Otherwise, learn to back off and live another day. Try to think about how you might handle certain situations before they actually occur.

[Dulceácido]

(12-17-2017 01:14 PM)Going strong Wrote:  

^This is worth of the Holy Book.

GS (2, 1-6) Verily, verily, I say unto you: One day, it was in the first year of King Trump, the fallen apostle Dulceacido had succumbed to the sin of incontinence and drunkery. He then met a homeless person on a dark corner of his village. The homeless man, seeing Dulceacido in such a bad and impure shape, turned his own pocket inside out, and seeing as he had two shekels, he gave one to Dulceacido.

And so, one year later, Dulceacido, having mended his sinful ways and encountered the righteous ways of the Lord, was sober and hardworking, and his business was prospering, as were all businesses under King Trump the 1st.

And Dulceacido crosses paths with the homeless man, the very same that had helped him one year ago. And Dulceacido turns his own pocket inside out, and he has 2000 shekels in it, because he had just sold his crop of wheat and grapes, and was going to the market to buy honey and milk and rare Pepes.

Dulceacido then said to the homeless man: "You helped me in my time of need: my turn now, as God wishes it to be, brother", and he gave the homeless man half of his 2000 shekels. The homeless man was overjoyed and sang praise to the Lord, and he too reformed his ways and became sober and employed.

HOLY SHIT THAT WAS FUNNY

Well done, Sir.

[Dulceácido]

(12-17-2017 01:25 PM)Tail Gunner Wrote:  

(12-17-2017 11:45 AM)Dulceácido Wrote:  

He didn't want to get out of the car because there was a crazy man fucking his car up and he certainly didn't want to deal with that. He couldn't go anywhere and the longer he stayed, the more fucked up his car was becoming...

Eventually, he rolled down the driver's side window and said, "HERE! TAKE IT" and handed me $200,000 COP.

While this is a great story, I do not want to leave the impression (to others reading this thread) that this is the way to handle such a situation. If you busted his window, he could have legitimately shot and killed you and then pled self-defense. With you dead, no one would know your side of the story -- just his side: "Crazy gringo busted my window and tried to kill me. I feared for my life!" You need to consider what a few dollars are worth to you.

My father was a madman when he was young. A trucker almost killed him and my mother doing something stupid on the road. My father cut him off, jumped on his sideboard, and tried to get into the truck. The trucker just kept repeating: "Get off my truck. Get off my truck." My father finally looks down and sees that the trucker is holding a handgun just below the window of the truck. My father -- got off his truck. If my father had busted the trucker's window, he could have died young.

I took several years of Krav Maga training. The three major precepts are (1) immediate defense, (2) immediate counter-strike, and (3) get away as quickly as possible. While the third precept is the easiest to do, it can also be the hardest to instill mentally -- especially for those of us who hate the thought of someone getting over on us. But you need to overcome this mental constraint if you do not want to risk permanent injury or loss of life.

In a life or death situation, of course anything goes. You must also stay and fight when you must protect a loved one or friends. Otherwise, learn to back off and live another day. Try to think about how you might handle certain situations before they actually occur.

Yeah, what he said.

I did, however preface it with "I have a propensity for violence."
I guess I could've also added, "I don't care if I live or die."