There's a woman who I've known online for many years who I'm afraid I have a mild case of oneitis for, probably because she and I bonded emotionally a lot when we were both going through a hard time. She lives 3000 miles from me on the other coast.
Recently, she got back into the dating game through the usual online suspects and started becoming more distant and slow to respond to texts, etc. as there were probably other newer shiny models in the picture. Eventually I got annoyed and blew her off and blocked her on everything for about two months.
I've been interacting with women who are more conventionally attractive, she's a bit more "geeky", but I do find her appealing. I attempted to resume contact the other day to test the waters and see how the "next" had worked. She was very eager and has sent me probably ~100 texts in the past couple days. For some reason, however, she is pathologically averse to ever saying overtly that she finds me attractive or appealing or anything. Just won't ever ever do it - I have certain physical characteristics that she likes that she'll talk about in an abstract way like "I like tall guys with blue eyes", and I'm a tall guy with blue eyes. She just won't come out and say she likes those characteristics in _me_. It's a little weird. But she very much wants to resume contact when I offer it.
I sometimes actually wonder if in this particular case she's afraid of getting too close to me in fear that I'll break her heart. But maybe that's flattering myself. I do know from some of the pictures she's shown me that I'm significantly more physically attractive than most of her previous LTRs. They were mostly kind of gamer slobs. But she's thin and now that she's doing the online thing her perception of herself is probably blowing up to the heavens.
I figure that this push-pull dynamic will probably continue on and on forever until she either enters a LTR, I travel to meet her, or we block each other permanently.
But I might very well travel this year.
What to do?
Recently, she got back into the dating game through the usual online suspects and started becoming more distant and slow to respond to texts, etc. as there were probably other newer shiny models in the picture. Eventually I got annoyed and blew her off and blocked her on everything for about two months.
I've been interacting with women who are more conventionally attractive, she's a bit more "geeky", but I do find her appealing. I attempted to resume contact the other day to test the waters and see how the "next" had worked. She was very eager and has sent me probably ~100 texts in the past couple days. For some reason, however, she is pathologically averse to ever saying overtly that she finds me attractive or appealing or anything. Just won't ever ever do it - I have certain physical characteristics that she likes that she'll talk about in an abstract way like "I like tall guys with blue eyes", and I'm a tall guy with blue eyes. She just won't come out and say she likes those characteristics in _me_. It's a little weird. But she very much wants to resume contact when I offer it.
I sometimes actually wonder if in this particular case she's afraid of getting too close to me in fear that I'll break her heart. But maybe that's flattering myself. I do know from some of the pictures she's shown me that I'm significantly more physically attractive than most of her previous LTRs. They were mostly kind of gamer slobs. But she's thin and now that she's doing the online thing her perception of herself is probably blowing up to the heavens.
I figure that this push-pull dynamic will probably continue on and on forever until she either enters a LTR, I travel to meet her, or we block each other permanently.
But I might very well travel this year.
What to do?