[Galahad]

I’ve seen them come and go and long stopped asking why….

I go to the gym regular for about 6 or 7 years. And with regular I mean regular. Drops have been only when I was sick, at a travel or some unavoidable issue.
At the first it was hard, I went with a friend. Over the time he quit and me not. I’ve seen young guys and fat people that hit the gym with a crazy motivation just to disappear after some time. You always see it when it get warmer or New Year’s promises. Those people don’t build up a routine. Over motivation can burn you out. Your body need time to adopt. When you haven’t done sport in years, well you can’t switch to a 6 day routine and believe to hold it for more than a few weeks. After 6 weeks most people disappear. So if you start, do it slow and think of it as a life changing process that will never end. Not a fast thing to do and then stop it. Give your body time to get used to the new stuff. Also when you change your nutrition, don’t change it just to lose some weight, see it as an improvement of life quality in the long run.

The next thing: MOTIVATION

I hear a lot of guys cry about motivation. Well it’s nice to have something that push you but there are two forms of motivation.

Extrinsic motivation: This is a song, a video, or believe that you have to do it. It’s from the outside. You don’t get motivation by yourself in the long run. You always need a pusher to get your lazy ass up. An example are people that hit the gym or do something because they think they can gain something from it. Like more success with women, more popularity.
Often those people don’t make it because it’s not that who they are. If the extrinsic motivation factor leave, those people quit. Don’t be a quitter.

Intrinsic motivation: You do it because you like to do it. For the joy of itself. You don’t think about gain something because do this – in this case work out – is what makes you fun. That improves your life quality. And with this improvement of life quality you get better attitude and people will respond more positive to you. You even can become an inspiration for others. It’s your inner drive.

Everybody that does something, gym, work, hobbies etc know there are good and bad days. I feel sorry for those guys that don’t hit the gym just because they have a bad day. Or it’s too cold, too rainy and too hot or whatever excuse they may have.
Routine beats motivation. This counts more for the extrinsic guys. Do you have motivation to get up every day and go to school or work? NO.
But you do it because have to do it. You don’t think about it. With the gym it’s the same. As I mention, you have to like the general idea to work out. Your intrinsic motivation has to be up. Still there are days when you are in a bad mood. If you like the idea to work you and know it makes you feel better – you go.

But all the other ones, that need a kick in the ass. Well make it a routine. Use a partner with whom you meet up in the gym. A regular time. Then you have one excuse less. I mean do you plan appointments in your work time? Mostly not because only strange people would do it. It’s the same with the gym. I have my fixed work out times when I go and it’s so deep in my brain that I plan other stuff around it. Because going to the gym makes me feel good. And even when I have a bad day and just want to go home and sit down, I’m in the gym. A bad workout is better than none. I not even think about good or bad days any more. I’m just there and do it. And after I feel good. Sure good days are better but for me it’s the bad days that are the result makers. When you don’t let yourself down in the long run. From my experience, to have success, know why you train – so make yourself feel better and then stick to a routine. Have your fixed days when you hit the gym and take it serious. For long term success you can’t rely on good or bad days and miss a workout just because you feel lazy.

Do it over and over again till you don’t think any more if you want to go or not because you are already on the way to the gym.

[turkishcandy]

Excellent advice. Getting yourself psyched and listening to Eye of the Tiger will be enough to motivate you only for a few weeks. Motivating yourself is only a short term solution.

The best way of looking at gym is that you're going there to feel the high after a good workout. You feel awesome after chest day. You should go to gym for the same reason you masturbate; to feel good. If you turn gym into hard work and pain&gain, you will eventually lose your motivation.

One thing I'm struggling with is that after I push myself to go to gym after a tiring day, I can't lift shit. Pushing myself to lift despite being tired makes me feel like I'm gonna pass out. I then cut my workout short and end up spending more time on the way to gym and way back than inside the gym. Then I get angry at myself for being such a wuss. I'm open to any advice.

[Galahad]

Accept it.

I have days like this when its extreme hot or I had a day full of stress. Then I do my main lifts and cut the assistance exercises. Also this is the time when you should avoid max lifts. Listen do your body. Pump yourself up, reduce some weight but at some reps or a set. In a mood like this a bad workout is better then none and you gain nothing when you know you can lift shit today - still want to try it and maybe hurt yourself.
Your progress is like a wave - or see it as push and pull. Imagine your body show some LMR so you pull a little bit back. Next workout you go back on the same routine.

[whoishe]

Really good post by OP.

I am a natural born and trained quitter and it was one of my biggest worries when for 100th time I've decided to start doing some physical activity around New Year.
What has worked for me so far:
1) I've choosed group workout, in my case Cross Training. Felt it would motivate me better than going alone to lift weights.
2) I try to schedule it like it would be my 2nd work - every two weeks when I am getting my work schedule I immediately try to adjust it to fit for my workout schedule. I go to gym 4-5 times per week and can choose from 8 trainings scheduled all over the week. I make reservation for specific workouts for full week every Tuesday evening.
3) Since January there was no week when I was at home and would attend it less than 3 times. Even when I am going away (for example my trips to Lviv) I make sure I have some physical activity there - usually stretching ot some physical work done with private trainer (cheap as hell, one hour session costs me around 6 USD).
4) I've spent majority of my life in front of computer, so my mind gives me plenty of negative advices, like - "Stop and go home after 5 minutes of workout". Fortunately I've learnt to control myself better and only left workout when I was worried about risk of getting injured (went to run on treadmill instead and came back for post-workout stretching).
5) I am quite proud that when I felt like I shit I still go there, just I am pushing myself a little bit less than usual. But I am always there if have it scheduled.

As my weight keeps dropping (around 2lbs per month) I am keeping my Cross Training + Intermittent Fasting combination. But when I will feel like I am done I will probably switch into weight lifting, which should be another challenge. But already made some friends with guys doing it in my gym, plus there is an excellent trainer there too, so I am quite optimisting regarding doing it properly either.

[bacan]

What motivates me these days is just trying to get sexy, make my exes wish they could be with me again, etc.

I even mentally tell people fuck you (ex gf, haters, bitches, etc) when I'm squatting or deadlifting or benching.

[Galahad]

Something to add what keep you on track:

Set goals. The tricky thing is not only to set goals and reach them. Furthermore the way should be the goal. The journey of improvement.
How many guys you know that say they go to the gym but look the same after years?

When you start with something and say I want to be in shape, I want lose fat, I want this or that. Well its nice but its not a specific goal. A goal is when you say I want to lose 10 kg of fat or use 20 kg more weight in a specific exercise. Or transfer it to game, that you want something concrete. Make it with ambition but realistic. For that you need to be self aware. And then break the goal down in weekly goals. You will not always achieve them. And that's where the love the journey kicks in. You have to love the improvement and development of yourself but also be able to make a step back when its necessary. The thing is to make something natural for you. Hit the gym and say you want to lose 10 kg is good but whats next? A lot of people get lazy then. So you have to see it as a never ending story. The quest of life for self development.
But an example:
I have a 5 week program. So I can see the progress after 5 weeks or do a max in week 6. Then I repeat the process. When the cycle went bad I stay with the weight, sometimes I have to reduce but in the long run I get stronger.

The gym is for me kind of a teacher for almost everything in life. I have to be honest to myself. I have to make the step, the decision, create the fire. No one else is responsible for me. Setting goals can keep you on track and rise your enjoyment. Then its not just a doing. When you reach one level there is never a stop. This can be frustrating but this is life. There is always a next thing to achieve. Life is about become the best version of yourself.

[heavy]

I didn't lift after high school until 1.5 years ago when I was 30. I always went to the gym and played basketball.

I started lifting because of RVF (how many times #1 does advice start with #1 start lifting heavy weights) and because, let's be honest, I already knew it would help.

I started lifting without any goals, just do it to feel better. Just go. Sometimes I would go down and not feeling like lifting, so I would hit the steam room then shower then out. That's ok. Sometimes I'd just run a few bball games. Sometimes I would just do one set of a couple things then out.

Usually though, I lifted, maybe three sets of three exercises. The point is, I pushed myself for sure, but not to the point to make it a job or chore. No guilt trips if I missed a week.

I developed slightly bit more definition (friends said I looked 'good', but not realizing why). I wasn't substantially stronger than before I started lifting.

Well, yeah, that's good, but it gets old, so beginning of this year I *wanted* to lift more. I had grown tired of basketball 3-4x per week* and wanted to actually work at something. I wanted to get more ripped, maybe heavier/stronger, not sure my exact direction. I went to the gym early before work 6 weeks in a row (see post for more on that). I was doing my own not-too-intense push, pull, legs, shoulders workouts and more regularly. Basically, I dedicated myself to lifting but without a plan.

*Note the importance of going *from* one thing *toward* another. I was already going to the gym regularly. This for me was key. I didn't have to turn over a new leaf to start going to the gym. I didn't have to deal with the decision of whether I should go, where am I going to park, how my evening schedule will work, do I know anyone down there, what to say to the trainers in there, how to act in the gym, etc, etc. I was already going. I already knew people there. I already knew the best places to park. I already knew 'what to do' in the gym. I just decided to lift more and play basketball less.
Once you *do* things and develop an interesting life where you're not sitting on your ass, productivity is much easier.
Start *doing*, even if it just means going and "acting" through the movements at first. Even if it's just doing one set of bench, flys, and curls, then steam room and out, start doing it.
You're a man. You do things.

I had been becoming addicted to lifting at least a few times a week, but stepping up my dedication this year got me hooked to the high of lifting at an increasing rate. By March I was addicted which included reading more about lifting, and in April I started 5x5 stronglifts. Good stuff, I may go back to it, but a couple weeks later I realized I wanted to lift more than 3 days a week and decided I would pursue a more bodybuilding routine with Jim Stoppani's workout. A few days in, I realized my difficulty in doing cardio-intense stuff in-between lifts, so I switched to Arnie's plan where it's straight lifting for an hour.

Arnold Schwarzenegger's workout is brutal, and I'm totally and completely addicted.

My motivation?
- It sure as hell is *not* discipline. It's not women.
- It's because I love it. It's productive. It's building something.
- It's addicting, It's my cocaine.
- It's seeing my muscle fibers stretched like guitar strings when I do lateral raises. It's feeling like my biceps are about to tear my skin open because they're bulging so much (something I'd never experienced before Arnolds workouts). It's watching my veins pop out because my muscles are simply taking up too much room.
- It's saying fuck you to the last set of squats.
- It's squatting *way* less than other guys in the gym and not giving a fuck because...well, because I don't give a fuck.
- It's calling it quits on the 9th and 10th sets of leg curl and extensions, exhausted, stepping on the basketball court to shoot around and cool down, then some automatic testosterone-filled deep part of my brain saying fuck that, I'm gonna go whoop the fuck outta those last two sets because I fucking can and I don't quit.
- And knowing I've never had that in me. I've never had that killer mentality, that never give up never quit mindset. That's not me. But it is now. It is, if only in the weight room, it is. And I don't know where it came from, but it's awesome.
- And then, it's 3 days removed from leg day and my legs are still sore. It's having never done leg day before age 32. It's looking forward to leg day, knowing you've always hated leg day.
- It's other guys looking at me thinking I'm on gear. I've never done gear. I just bought my first whey protein a month ago. It's seeing my old-self in those guys and thinking, you have no idea the difference in coming in and 'lifting' and doing a plan that whips your ass every time your in the gym.
- It's running cold water over my arms in the shower because for some reason I think this will cool them off after a brutal workout.
- It's sitting here at work pulling up my weightlifting schedule/spreadsheet and getting it just right, because I know I'll do whatever is on it and nothing that's not.

At times I think it's partying on the lake on the boat with friends, taking my shirt off and knowing I'm the most ripped guy...but that's not it.

[Truth Teller]

I started training (late last year) because I was depressed over a girl. I wasn't actually lifting at the time; I was doing Convict Conditioning.

I started lifting because I needed another way to get my aggression out. I was drinking extremely heavily (though I still got a 3.8 last semester...). I see every session as a battle between the weight and I. The weight doesn't get to win.