Quote: (06-08-2015 12:01 AM)Fortis Wrote:
Wouldn't have sent this email out. I hate being spoken down to by sniveling sycophants who make their living staring at screens and crunching "numbers." Some dudes are just on a power trip.
I can understand why they talk like this in tough professions like police, military and fire department: if you can't take some dude talking trash to your face then you aren't cut out for the stress that these jobs entail, but I don't get why banking culture is like this.
I think finance has a similar culture to sales, i.e. it's a masculine, results-driven and highly competitive business where your success or failure is always immediately visible because it can be represented by simple numbers. Which means the pressure never stops, and there's nowhere for weak performers to hide.
How are you doing against target? How much profit and revenue are you making? What's in your pipeline? That's pretty much all they want to know when you're in sales. If your numbers are good, nobody really gives a shit about anything else. If your numbers are bad, they start looking for ways to pull up your performance or reasons to get rid of you - there's always plenty of willing candidates to take your place.
Sales and finance are the guys who bring in money to the business, and reap huge rewards if they're successful, so the expectations and pressures on them are much higher than in normal 9-5 jobs. In the more lucrative sales jobs, a 20-something account manager could easily be carrying a multi-million pound annual target. Some finance guys deal in billions.
It's not uncommon for young men trying to make it to work 60 hour weeks - or longer. You have to be competitive to beat all the other firms trying to win your clients' business, and competitive against all the other guys in your own company too. If you don't have that hunger for money and recognition, employers don't want you. If you're not greedy and driven, you won't make as much money for them.
And it only gets tougher the further up the tree you go. You become a manager and suddenly you're expected to be answering emails from the directors on Sunday evenings. You become a director and suddenly you're personally responsible for your sales force's $500 million annual target, and
there are no excuses for failing to hit it.
Your kids have the flu? Too bad - where's the latest forecast? Your wife left you? That's a shame - how's the $10m deal with Microsoft/Tesco/Shell shaping up? You have cancer? Sorry to hear that, when do you expect to be back at work?
It's not that people in sales and finance are heartless bastards, it's just the nature of the job. Big businesses are vast, impersonal machines that need to keep delivering for shareholders. Every month and every quarter is important. The pressure to perform is unrelenting, so a laddish culture of big balling is partly a result of the sort of extroverted people who thrive in those roles, and partly a psychological defence mechanism.
You need that psychological armour, because sometimes you really don't feel like you're
the shit - you just feel like shit. But you've got a living to make. So you put your suit on like a boss, stride into the office like John Wayne on Viagra, and pretend to be loving the fact that you've just spent most of the weekend working on a proposal and are sweating over whether you'll win the deal, because your quarter depends on it. If you can't convince yourself, you won't convince clients.
So it's a tough, masculine environment in a different way to the police or firemen. It's like trying to pick up girls - but every working day of your life. The rewards are great but the process can feel exhausting if your head's not in the game, and you need to grow a thick skin to shrug off rejection. Being told "no" sucks, whether you're trying to shag some perky little gym bunny or sell a new software solution to a bank. And you get told "no" a lot in sales - it's probably the same in finance. If it was easy, they wouldn't pay as much.
Would close this financial year
Anyway, I don't think this guy's email was tough or objectionable. He was just trying to tell his interns how to succeed in a slightly jokey, but no-bullshit sort of tone - if they had a scrap of self-awareness, they'd be thanking him instead of complaining. He could - and probably should - have sent them some generic HR-approved boilerplate that gave them no clue at all what the business was looking for from them.
But there are lots of special snowflakes around these days who've been raised by helicopter parents and the glorified daycare centres that are modern universities to believe they're all unique and wonderful and the world ought to congratulate them for breathing, and
OhMyGod! Muh triggers!
Remember Spongebob Shitpants from the Mattress Girl hoax?