[-g-]

The No Contact Rule is when you completely cut off all communication with an ex (I don't have FB, no texting, phone calls, etc,.) after a relationship has ended. Some recommend 60 days, Roissy recommends 3 weeks, and even Vince Vaughn from Swiggers recommends forever. It's all over the internet. The purpose of the NC Rule is dual fold: 1) Its gives the person who was dumped time to heal and focus on being the person they were before the relationship and 2) It gives the dumper time to cool down and doubt the break up/miss the dumped individual. Eventually, you will be contacted but by then you will have moved on. I am currently using this rule as I was dumped in the LTR.

The details are that we dated for 3 years and in that time I saw other girls but this was my main chick. I walked away from it in November but hit her up for a booty call 2 weeks later.. and you guessed it we got back together. I think she knew I wanted just sex and she became distant (Red flag). So I started to change (become more affectionate) and began acting more beta. It got the the point where we didn't have sex very often so I tested her and said if you want some space, take it. Well she did and I was pretty upset, to be honest. We did a few things during that week and on Friday we decided to go to a bar. I sat and waited on the chair I normally sit at in her house while she got ready. For the first time in 3 years, she left her phone for me to see (to make me jealous about a text from a dude to validate herself, this was totally planned) and I freaked out when I saw it. I went home that night and sent a very mean text to her to meant hurt her feelings.. 100% sure was devastated by it. I sent a "I apologize text" a few days later (beta-ness).

I work with her in the same building and i can walk down the hall to see her.. but we don't work together on the same stuff. Well, because I didn't hear back from the texts I went into her office and gave her a note saying sorry and other beta crap. She basically said I don't want to ever see you again and there is no chance we will get back together because she wants to be w/someone who won't leave her and i treated her like shit in the end and our relationship was unhealthy and going nowhere now. I pleaded w/her (The single most beta moment of my life) and basically left work in shame. Since then, neither of us have said a word to each other.. so about 5 days.

Right now, the NC rule is helping me as I am returning to the man I was before her (super confident, dressing better, working out like a mad man, starting to do cold approaches) but I still miss this one because we had fun (feelings on loss). I was at a bar w/an old friend last night and most of the girls were 8 and ups. I only did 1 approach and he said WTF is wrong with you tonight. I said ex-gf crap, kept it short and i am getting over it. He suggested something pretty slick and I may do it if you all think it's a good idea. He said to buy breakfast sometime during the week (like a chicken biscuit, something cheap) but get 2... like you would if you an her were still dating. He said he would act aloof about it and give it to her saying something like "I bought this in the drive thru and it was routine so i got this. Enjoy your breakfast". Act like that biscuit was rent and you didn't want to give it to your landlord. Then on Friday, buy everyone in the office breakfast on purpose so that 1) you look like the man and 2) it makes your appear very happy, like you just got some good poon. The last thing he said is you aren't doing this for her, you are doing it for yourself. Don't ignore her when you pass by in the hall, just act like she's any other girl you want to bang.

I realize the faults I made in the past few months and days, and I am learning a valuable lesson about not changing your game and frame. I am working hard to become the same person I was before her, but better because its whats best for me. I am using the NC Rule to get over her but I naturally hope (but don't expect) she will contact me. Eventually with enough time, I won't give a shit anymore and I'll get over it.

What are your thoughts on my situation and have do you used the NC Rule? If so, let me know stuff you did to help speed up the process. I am not sure about the breakfast thing, but I am leaning towards not doing it, do you agree?

[iknowexactly]

All that effort to write that means you are still attached and need more time without the heroin of that chick.

But in general, I would speculate that when you are fucking other girl(s), and the level of attachment you feel to them is greater than the nostalgia for the old one, then you could unblock her. But calling her up, i say never.

If someone says "fuck you" once, they'll always say it again.

[Vaun]

Dude you are really going through it. I have been there, when I was in my early 20's a chic broke up with me and I didnt eat or sleep for weeks, and lost a lot of weight, like 20 lbs. THAT WAS HOW PROGRAMMED I WAS TO BELIEVE THAT WAS THE END OF MY LIFE

You will get to a point where you will never let anyone give you this reaction again. But you have to read, sleep, and focus, focus squarely on yourself. BE A SELFISH MOTHERFUCKER

What this boils down to is wasted time. YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME AND DAILY EFFORT RIGHT NOW. Millions of other, more attractive women, are waiting for you out there. A life full of opportunity is waiting for you, in a very large world. And you have decided that she is the be all end all of your daily thoughts and actions.

A couple of things you are probably learning now; dont shit where you eat, I never go for chicks I work with. No matter how hot or cool I think they are, this always happens WITH EVERYBODY. I once saw a guy give up lots of stock and equity in one of the most successful internet companies, because some girl broke his heart in the office. How much of your life, opportunities, money making, other women, friends, health, passions, have you given up on while pining away for this special angel?

I have gone through it all. I have been this way, just like you, with multiple women, starting when I was about 15 years old. Now, finally in middle age, I have stopped. All of that got me here, but I always think about where I would have gone or done if I didnt get off the freeway of life at the rest stops called Sheila, Mary and Jennifer.

[Dantes]

Solid recommendations here:

http://www.returnofkings.com/41557/8-ess...get-dumped


Forget the Breakfast idea. Bang a hot girl. Remember, the best revenge is to live well.

[robreke]

I went NC on a mini relationship I had last year. Our last texts we near Christmas. I resolved pretty much to never contact her again. What happens? In she walks to this coffee shop she knows I hang out in. She comes right up to my table and wants to talk. Long story short...she's dropping hints her current boyfriend who she left me for and her relationship is on the rocks, she's been thinking about me a lot..."and I mean a lot" as she puts it.

She even brought a gift by my office the next day. I propositioned her to come over for dinner to my place but she took a raincheck as she's still with this guy. My take? I'm not going to let myself get that feeling for her again as it really interrupted my life. I'm going no contact again. She dumped me...so she has to EARN me back. In the meantime, I'm working on other prospects.

The longer you go, the more you will realize the flaws in that girl and also the less attracted you'll become to her. I'm still attracted to and would bang this ex, but now, I can more control my emotions around her. NC often works as the girl will come back to you. We see the past with rose colored glasses, girls included. So, women will often forget the reasons they dumped you and focus on the good times. They'll wonder what you're doing and get lonely. Then, who knows they may call. I say a minimum of one month and then hit her up with a cheerful text if you do. Corey Wayne on Youtube has some excellent videos on how to handle these situations.

[CJ_W]

Thanks for the responses guys. Best to move on, ultimately it's her loss. I met a new girl earlier this week like has similar features but is 4 years younger and has a better body. Should be a fun time

[iknowexactly]

(02-04-2015 08:06 AM)-g- Wrote:  

Thanks for the responses guys. Best to move on, ultimately it's her loss. I met a new girl earlier this week like has similar features but is 4 years younger and has a better body. Should be a fun time

That's the spirit!

- she is always getting older. There are more and more chicks younger and tighter than her.

[kaotic]

TL;DR You still got oneitis a bit man, focus on your inner game and confidence.

P.S. Don't worry about similar features this new girl has that your ex did.

Because that just makes you compare her to your ex, not really a fair head start for either of you.

BUT hell yes be stoked if she's hotter and younger than your ex !

[jariel]

I keep seeing threads on things I've talked about repeatedly on this board.

Some guys let chicks get too involved in their lives -- she knows your favorite hangout spots, knows your friends, etc.

Some guys also like to shit where they eat -- gets into a relationship with a co-worker, chick who works down the hall, next door neighbor, etc.

Until things get really serious, and to me that means that you'd think about proposing, you need to have your own life --things that she doesn't know about nor has anything to do with -- let her have her own life, and have a life with her -- things you don't mind sharing with her that can go bye-bye when and if you/her decide the relationship is over.

Who you bring into your life is a serious decision.

Choosing the wrong woman can have seriously negative consequences.

Best-case, some of us will leave or get left behind with just bruised egos and wounded confidences, but shit, forget about coming back "better", it's going to take you time and maximum effort to bring yourself back to where you were previously.

Worst-case, you already know.

[Widrel]

I got dumped by a single mother (of 2) and that was how I found Roosh, RoK etc. This was 4 months ago. The temptation to call/text has been super strong and I still browse her profile on social media but I have NEVER initiated contact. She has, though. On a couple of occasions. One of these led to her telling me she was was starting to see another guy and I wished her good luck while not offering any information on what I had been up to. I have done a few of the things that are supposed to be done: exercising (lost 8 kg), focusing more on work, other women etc and it helps.

By the way, all the stuff I've read about single mom's since this episode has been an eye opener to say the least.

[WanderingSoul]

I stopped reading a third of the way through because it's painfully obvious you need to stay no contact with her for much longer than you already have.

If you want to torture yourself go ahead and contact her. Otherwise, go no contact until you forget about her, and then you won't want to contact her anyways.

[sandman972]

You are thinking too hard about this, which I totally understand. You will not contact her, go on a fucking tear through pussy, preferable with hotter women. Dont check her facebook or anything like that, it only brings back shitty feelings. You need to delete pics of her and stuff like that.

Embrace the fact that shes evaporated into thin air, and theres nothing you can do about that.

Understand whats going on in your body. Your entire nervous system has been pumped with dopamine and seratonin. These hormones is what causes you to feel such an emotional bond to her, that increases 10 fold the second you guys had sex. Its drug, and strong fucking drug, and the second she walked away, you experienced withdrawal syndromes. Which is why you cant simply stop thinking about her, as it takes time for your body to flush it out of your system, but not contacting her and all that helps speed up the process.

Theres the common idea that these sluts have a 6th sense of coming back when you are over them. When I got dumped 2 months ago or so, a part of me wanted that to happen. In fact, sometimes I still do, but then I quickly remind myself: You need to not care if that happens or not. You know why? Because you will never take her back. Thats it. She fucked up, and theres nothing she can do or change that will ever convince you to take her back.

Ill be honest, my ex moved out to my city several weeks ago, Iv seen her from a distance several times, and my stomach still catches when I see her. But with each day, with each new brod Iv banged, with each new deal I close at work, with every new goal I accomplish, my emotions for her fade and fade, to the point where you forget why you ever gave a fuck about her in the first place.

Trust me, in several months you will look back at all this and laugh that you actually created a thread on this.

[Jneg]

Take a nice relaxing trip to North Carolina my friend
NC is a great place for brahs to go to get away from stressful broads

[Jean Valjean]

I think the fact that you're staying off Facebook is good. After I got dumped, I started 30 days of no contact, but my ex was still reading my Facebook posts and messages (because during the relationship, I'd given her the password for use in case of emergency, and trusted her not to use it to spy on me), so in that sense, I was still in contact, without even knowing it, since she still had an opportunity to find out what I was thinking and saying about her. (Exes will generally try to find some way or another to read your FB posts, even if you unfriend and block them.)

The problem with advice on how to get your ex to come back, is that it runs into direct conflict with the fundamental game principle of "You are the prize." If she dumped you, even if she tries to get back together later, she has already demonstrated that she has mixed feelings about you and isn't totally committed to the relationship. Whatever issues made her want to dump you the first time around, have probably not been totally eliminated, so they will continue to crop up if you get back together.

Some chicks are more prone to relationship instability (i.e. dumping guys on a whim) than others. If you take her back, you teach her that you will tolerate her dumping you and give her another chance, rather than punishing her disloyalty with extreme prejudice. Those kinds of chicks prey on "nice guys" who show that kind of weakness in the face of disrespect. Whatever apologies and promises she may make to get you to accept her back, in the end, she's just going to spit on and trample your love for her, and accuse you of being the bad guy, rather than being grateful for your tolerance, patience, and determination to make the relationship work.

However, I sometimes wonder if there's some merit to keeping a chick around as a female orbiter, if she wants you back but you're more indifferent to her. You can then try to use her for support, companionship, and validation in the same way that women use their orbiters. And if her pussy was extraordinarily good, and she decides at some point that she doesn't mind being a side chick, hey, why not let her back into the rotation, as long as she's not going to wreak too much havoc in your life. (I'm not actually sure that's wise, but it's a tempting thought. Exceptionally good pussy, or the other relationship "highs" that unstable girls offer, is like any other drug, and there can come a point where you have to think, is it worth succumbing to this destructive addiction, or shall I resolve to just say no?)

[ksbms]

(01-20-2017 11:53 AM)Jean Valjean Wrote:  

I think the fact that you're staying off Facebook is good. After I got dumped, I started 30 days of no contact, but my ex was still reading my Facebook posts and messages (because during the relationship, I'd given her the password for use in case of emergency, and trusted her not to use it to spy on me), so in that sense, I was still in contact, without even knowing it, since she still had an opportunity to find out what I was thinking and saying about her. (Exes will generally try to find some way or another to read your FB posts, even if you unfriend and block them.)

The problem with advice on how to get your ex to come back, is that it runs into direct conflict with the fundamental game principle of "You are the prize." If she dumped you, even if she tries to get back together later, she has already demonstrated that she has mixed feelings about you and isn't totally committed to the relationship. Whatever issues made her want to dump you the first time around, have probably not been totally eliminated, so they will continue to crop up if you get back together.

Some chicks are more prone to relationship instability (i.e. dumping guys on a whim) than others. If you take her back, you teach her that you will tolerate her dumping you and give her another chance, rather than punishing her disloyalty with extreme prejudice. Those kinds of chicks prey on "nice guys" who show that kind of weakness in the face of disrespect. Whatever apologies and promises she may make to get you to accept her back, in the end, she's just going to spit on and trample your love for her, and accuse you of being the bad guy, rather than being grateful for your tolerance, patience, and determination to make the relationship work.

However, I sometimes wonder if there's some merit to keeping a chick around as a female orbiter, if she wants you back but you're more indifferent to her. You can then try to use her for support, companionship, and validation in the same way that women use their orbiters. And if her pussy was extraordinarily good, and she decides at some point that she doesn't mind being a side chick, hey, why not let her back into the rotation, as long as she's not going to wreak too much havoc in your life. (I'm not actually sure that's wise, but it's a tempting thought. Exceptionally good pussy, or the other relationship "highs" that unstable girls offer, is like any other drug, and there can come a point where you have to think, is it worth succumbing to this destructive addiction, or shall I resolve to just say no?)

I like your post, Valjean, it seems to me like a well thought through position, in contrast to what some people think, namely that your ex is ex forever, no exceptions. I guess, it's a reasonable strategy but perhaps there can be some mitigating circumstances. Say, you dumped her and if she wants you back and improves where she was lacking perhaps worth a try as a fuckbuddy and if things go well for a few months, decide what next?

Now, if she dumped you, then definitely trying to reach out again would cause, in the long run, more aggravation. I can imagine that the only way would be for her to reach out but in such a case, she'd have to prove she's serious about you. I can imagine she would have to jump a big hoop to prove about her commitment to you - say, get a tattoo of your name/initials above her left breast, maybe pierce her nipples or accept fully that she'd be one of your fuckbuddies to begin with.

If she were to decline, then she wasn't that serious. She just wanted back after being pumped and dumped and find a safe harbour for a few weeks before venturing out again.

[RatInTheWoods]

Women that have dumped you and then ask to come back should be demoted permanently to plate status.

And only if you can be strong enough to not catch feelings for them again, which should be easy if they dumped you.

And NEVER contact her first, she dumped you, remember? Let her come crawling back when she sees the grass is not greener....

[Jean Valjean]

(01-20-2017 03:38 PM)ksbms Wrote:  

I like your post, Valjean, it seems to me like a well thought through position, in contrast to what some people think, namely that your ex is ex forever, no exceptions. I guess, it's a reasonable strategy but perhaps there can be some mitigating circumstances. Say, you dumped her and if she wants you back and improves where she was lacking perhaps worth a try as a fuckbuddy and if things go well for a few months, decide what next?

Now, if she dumped you, then definitely trying to reach out again would cause, in the long run, more aggravation. I can imagine that the only way would be for her to reach out but in such a case, she'd have to prove she's serious about you. I can imagine she would have to jump a big hoop to prove about her commitment to you - say, get a tattoo of your name/initials above her left breast, maybe pierce her nipples or accept fully that she'd be one of your fuckbuddies to begin with.

If she were to decline, then she wasn't that serious. She just wanted back after being pumped and dumped and find a safe harbour for a few weeks before venturing out again.

There was one situation where a girl really treated me like shit for the first couple months of the relationship, and dumped me, but then a week or two later she said that if we got back together, the relationship would be much better. (I forget if she said 10 times better, or 100 times better.)

And it was much better. She stopped with the relentless shit tests (which I now recognize for what they were), I guess because she figured I was never going to pass them, so she might as well not bother. We stayed together for three years, she gave me the best sex of my life (which I continue to fantasize about, even when I'm with other women), and then finally I dumped her, because I thought that if I stayed with her, it might keep me from finding someone even better.

So I can't categorically say that if you break up, the relationship won't be better the second time around, if you give her another chance. It could very well be better. Then again, a new chick might be better still, but that's always a possibility, even if you haven't broken up with your current chick yet.

Good pussy is a powerful draw. In a monogamous relationship, it's the one thing your chick can do for you, that you can't get anywhere else, without breaking up with her. Just like some men are Chad Thundercocks who leave their impression on a woman, some women are the female equivalent, and leave their impression on a man. Those memories, and the desire for pussy as good as hers, will be with you forever, till you find a chick whose pussy is good enough to supplant and one-up your ex. Therefore, if your ex's pussy is extraordinarily good, that is something to take into consideration, just like women take men's sexual performance into account when deciding what behavior of his to tolerate, as Eddie Murphy pointed out in the "Figured Women Out" segment of RAW.

If your game is tight, then maybe you can attract a lot of hot, young chicks with tight pussies and get them to do what you want, and thereby easily forget the chick who has now been equaled or surpassed by them. But, if your game isn't tight, then your options aren't as abundant, and the ex may start to seem more alluring.

Some may argue, "If you focus on a relationship with your ex, you're taking your attention away from going after other chicks and improving your game, so you lose in the end." That assumes that if you're not with your ex, you are actually going to be going out and pursuing other chicks and improving your game. If you're not going to be doing that, then maybe you have less to lose by trying to get back together with your ex.

[PapayaTapper]

(01-21-2017 11:30 AM)Jean Valjean Wrote:  

Therefore, if your ex's pussy is extraordinarily good, that is something to take into consideration,