Let me preface this by saying I am no expert at game. I consider my game intermediate at best. At forty years old I've slept with 50 + women, so not a huge number, but certainly more than I thought possible when I was a younger and much more timid man.
However I've had sort of an epiphany recently I thought I would share. When I was new to the concept of game about six or so years ago, a lot of "gurus" like Mystery and so on would talk about the three second rule and basically the idea that you should just approach as many women as often as possible. The idea was just to get over your approach anxiety by approaching like a machine.
So I did that for awhile and went through a lot of rejections and then occasionally I would come across the right girl, we'd hit it off and we'd hook up. Although during this period I definitely had some success, it never felt quite right to me. It always seemed incongruent and forced. LIke I was trying to force myself to become this robotic, smooth talking pick up guy.
When I studied "pickup" I would often read of success ratios being around ten percent. If you talked to a hundred women you could sleep with ten on average. Similar stats have been shared by a lot of people in the "community". This always seemed like a ridiculous amount of work to me.
Fast forward to the last couple years. I've reached a point where I really don't care about quantity anymore, I'm not looking to rack up notches at this point. So something happened without me really noticing it until recently, which is although I'm probably sleeping with fewer women each year, my success ratio is way higher these days, because instead of approaching every hot girl I see in every situation, I wait for situations to approach girls that present themselves that seem much more logical and natural.
Maybe I just happen to be sitting next to a girl at the beach and we strike up a conversation and I get her number (which happened yesterday) or maybe I just happen to be sitting on a park bench and there's a cute girl next to me and we strike up a conversation and we end up hooking up (which happened last month in Colombia.) It seems like I've just naturally learned to gauge which situations are the best for meeting girls and which aren't. I hate going to bars and just approaching random girls, so I don't do that. I go to places I like to go to and when girls are there that look interesting I talk to them.
I'm not talking about being passive and just avoiding meeting girls. But I think when you learn to read the situation and the girl you can get much better results with doing much less. For example, I spent last month in Colombia and although I only hooked up with two girls while I was there, I only approached four.
I think this is the sort of game my natural friends have had all along. I used to hang out with a really incredibly good looking guy who would see me approaching girls left and right and was amazed that I could just walk up to random girls and start talking to them. He literally couldn't do it. He'd just sit back, wait until someone was in his vicinity and work his charm that way and had much better success than me in the process.
So the point of all this is I think just like in business it's not always about working hard it's also about working smart.
However I've had sort of an epiphany recently I thought I would share. When I was new to the concept of game about six or so years ago, a lot of "gurus" like Mystery and so on would talk about the three second rule and basically the idea that you should just approach as many women as often as possible. The idea was just to get over your approach anxiety by approaching like a machine.
So I did that for awhile and went through a lot of rejections and then occasionally I would come across the right girl, we'd hit it off and we'd hook up. Although during this period I definitely had some success, it never felt quite right to me. It always seemed incongruent and forced. LIke I was trying to force myself to become this robotic, smooth talking pick up guy.
When I studied "pickup" I would often read of success ratios being around ten percent. If you talked to a hundred women you could sleep with ten on average. Similar stats have been shared by a lot of people in the "community". This always seemed like a ridiculous amount of work to me.
Fast forward to the last couple years. I've reached a point where I really don't care about quantity anymore, I'm not looking to rack up notches at this point. So something happened without me really noticing it until recently, which is although I'm probably sleeping with fewer women each year, my success ratio is way higher these days, because instead of approaching every hot girl I see in every situation, I wait for situations to approach girls that present themselves that seem much more logical and natural.
Maybe I just happen to be sitting next to a girl at the beach and we strike up a conversation and I get her number (which happened yesterday) or maybe I just happen to be sitting on a park bench and there's a cute girl next to me and we strike up a conversation and we end up hooking up (which happened last month in Colombia.) It seems like I've just naturally learned to gauge which situations are the best for meeting girls and which aren't. I hate going to bars and just approaching random girls, so I don't do that. I go to places I like to go to and when girls are there that look interesting I talk to them.
I'm not talking about being passive and just avoiding meeting girls. But I think when you learn to read the situation and the girl you can get much better results with doing much less. For example, I spent last month in Colombia and although I only hooked up with two girls while I was there, I only approached four.
I think this is the sort of game my natural friends have had all along. I used to hang out with a really incredibly good looking guy who would see me approaching girls left and right and was amazed that I could just walk up to random girls and start talking to them. He literally couldn't do it. He'd just sit back, wait until someone was in his vicinity and work his charm that way and had much better success than me in the process.
So the point of all this is I think just like in business it's not always about working hard it's also about working smart.