BACKGROUND: I've had some success with my authentic OKCupid account in the US, but I still find the process very frustrating and feel like I'm constantly being rejected by girls with a lower dating market value. I wanted to test this forum's contention that the US dating market is stacked against men.
THE EXPERIMENT: I made a fake profile of myself in an undisclosed Asian city. Same photos, however, I put a lot of effort into making my US profile creative, engaging and humorous, whereas my Asia profile just says that I'm from the US and transferred over for work.
RATIOS: Here was my first hint that this test would produce very different results than my US profile is used to. I did some searches narrow enough to count the number of users by hand, and found the following to be the ratios of active users on the site in each location:
US location: 69% men, 31% women
Asian city: 39% men, 61% women
UNSOLICITED INCOMING MESSAGES:
US location: Once every month or three, I get one from a whale.
Asian city: In a day and a half of having the profile open, I've received 11 unsolicited messages. Most of these were from thin and bangable chicks, and a couple were even from hot girls I would consider "out of my league" here in the US.
OUTGOING MESSAGE RESPONSES:
US location: I always work to write messages that stand out and leave plenty of room for conversation. When the girl's profile has any modicum of substance to it, I write an individualized message. My response rate hovers around 20%, and most of those responses are totally thoughtless and unenthusiastic, and kill whatever conversational thread I attempted to start.
Asian city: I sent out 30 of a lame, obvious copy-paste job ONLY to attractive girls whom I would message with my real profile. After 24 hours... 16 responses (53%). I'd probably pick up a few more if I gave it some time. I sensed much more enthusiasm and effort in these responses than the US ones; the girls actually asked questions and showed interest in me. As with the unsolicited messages, I got several responses from hot girls whom I thought were "out of my league." Also, funny anecdote- one of the girls I messaged was an American who had recently moved. Needless to say, she was one of the 14/30 who didn't respond.
QUICKMATCH: For the uninitiated, quickmatch is a feature that resembles Tinder in that you see someone's profile and choose to "Like" or "Pass". The difference is that OKCupid's quickmatch shows you how many people in total have "Liked" you.
US location: Over several months (don't remember the last time I cleared it), 30 girls have "Liked" me.
Asian city: Over a day and a half, 50 girls have "Liked" me.
CONCLUSION: My results in Asia, putting in no effort and demonstrating no personality, were light years better than my results in the US where I work hard to make sure I'm funnier and more interesting than the next guy. I seriously doubt that all my efforts to be interesting and write individualized messages in the US are actually counterproductive, which only leaves one conclusion... yes, the dating market in the US is awful compared to some other parts of the world, to the point where some men who are invisible to American women would be considered hot elsewhere. I'm really wondering why this is... it's not like there's a shortage of women in the US and a shortage of men in this Asian location. It's close enough to 50/50 in both places. So how could this be?
THE EXPERIMENT: I made a fake profile of myself in an undisclosed Asian city. Same photos, however, I put a lot of effort into making my US profile creative, engaging and humorous, whereas my Asia profile just says that I'm from the US and transferred over for work.
RATIOS: Here was my first hint that this test would produce very different results than my US profile is used to. I did some searches narrow enough to count the number of users by hand, and found the following to be the ratios of active users on the site in each location:
US location: 69% men, 31% women
Asian city: 39% men, 61% women
UNSOLICITED INCOMING MESSAGES:
US location: Once every month or three, I get one from a whale.
Asian city: In a day and a half of having the profile open, I've received 11 unsolicited messages. Most of these were from thin and bangable chicks, and a couple were even from hot girls I would consider "out of my league" here in the US.
OUTGOING MESSAGE RESPONSES:
US location: I always work to write messages that stand out and leave plenty of room for conversation. When the girl's profile has any modicum of substance to it, I write an individualized message. My response rate hovers around 20%, and most of those responses are totally thoughtless and unenthusiastic, and kill whatever conversational thread I attempted to start.
Asian city: I sent out 30 of a lame, obvious copy-paste job ONLY to attractive girls whom I would message with my real profile. After 24 hours... 16 responses (53%). I'd probably pick up a few more if I gave it some time. I sensed much more enthusiasm and effort in these responses than the US ones; the girls actually asked questions and showed interest in me. As with the unsolicited messages, I got several responses from hot girls whom I thought were "out of my league." Also, funny anecdote- one of the girls I messaged was an American who had recently moved. Needless to say, she was one of the 14/30 who didn't respond.
QUICKMATCH: For the uninitiated, quickmatch is a feature that resembles Tinder in that you see someone's profile and choose to "Like" or "Pass". The difference is that OKCupid's quickmatch shows you how many people in total have "Liked" you.
US location: Over several months (don't remember the last time I cleared it), 30 girls have "Liked" me.
Asian city: Over a day and a half, 50 girls have "Liked" me.
CONCLUSION: My results in Asia, putting in no effort and demonstrating no personality, were light years better than my results in the US where I work hard to make sure I'm funnier and more interesting than the next guy. I seriously doubt that all my efforts to be interesting and write individualized messages in the US are actually counterproductive, which only leaves one conclusion... yes, the dating market in the US is awful compared to some other parts of the world, to the point where some men who are invisible to American women would be considered hot elsewhere. I'm really wondering why this is... it's not like there's a shortage of women in the US and a shortage of men in this Asian location. It's close enough to 50/50 in both places. So how could this be?
