[Altair]

who here learned game and became a player without the help of a mentor?

I'm about 6 months deep and have met a few guys with 2, 3, or even 4 years worth of experience yet they still aren't intermediate. I attribute one guy's slow progress to the fact that he doesn't know what to work on. He spam approaches and does no reflection at all on his approaches.

If you came up without a mentor, how did you ensure you were going on the correct direction and working on the right things?

[Isaac Jordan]

(09-10-2013 08:06 PM)Altair Wrote:  

who here learned game and became a player without the help of a mentor?

I'm about 6 months deep and have met a few guys with 2, 3, or even 4 years worth of experience yet they still aren't intermediate. I attribute one guy's slow progress to the fact that he doesn't know what to work on. He spam approaches and does no reflection at all on his approaches.

If you came up without a mentor, how did you ensure you were going on the correct direction and working on the right things?

I didn't have a mentor per se, but I took the red pill/discovered game shortly after pledging a fraternity in college. I noticed that the hottest girls tended to go for the same group of cocky, masculine, assertive guys, and it took me only a couple weeks before I googled "Why do chicks love assholes?" and discovered Roissy's "Chicks dig jerks" series. Roosh, Rollo, and the rest of this little corner of the internet followed shortly after.

I didn't have any of the guys formally mentor me (I doubt they could have even described the underlying concepts or strategies they were utilizing), but instead just started watching what they were doing and how they interacted with women. As I developed my game, I realized that I couldn't just copy exactly what these guys were doing and hope it'd work for me, but I could use their experiences (as well as my own) to form a general set of principles that I'd adjust to the circumstances I'd find myself in at any given time. And fortunately, the RVF/manosphere provided enough of a backdrop for me to cherry-pick certain tools and behaviors that DID work as well for me as the guys I was watching. So in addition to my own approaches, successes, and failures, I could learn from the group's as well. Really not much different from what happens in this forum; I just got a chance to view it all in person in real time.

And as far as making sure you're going in the right direction, I think it you already nailed it: reflection. As much as we stress action over mental masturbation here, it's definitely important to regularly review your goals and the progress you've made in reaching them.

[TeachNExplore]

Digging up an older thread.

In my experience, there is a huge value of a having a mentor in growth. It's like a cheat code that accelerates the growth because the amount of misdirected energy is minimized. Once we reach a certain point, we have a responsibility to pass that on to others.

I've been working with a mentor for the past 7 months who has more experience and knowledge than me in most areas of life. We have some different values and he has directed me to certain people who can help me in other areas that he feels he wouldn't be justified in helping me with.

All of this for free.

He tells me that this is his privilege and honor because someone has done it for him. I am quite lucky to have this man in my life.

The goal for me is to get to a certain point in my life where I can pass on my experiences to others. Serving others is the greatest purpose there is. I see the peace of mind and drive this man has and I want what he has. So I do as he does. I fully trust his judgement and intentions, so I dont debate.

If anyone has experience with mentorship, please share your experience.

[dknightbro]

The most important thing is the desire to learn/get better.

If you're lucky, you'll meet some mentors who really push your game forward on steroids.
If not, you need to stay persistent & continue to game w/action + reflection and gain the lessons that way.

It was my desire to get better + putting my thoughts out there that I was able to get in touch with strong mentors.

[TeachNExplore]

I didn't realize this was in the game section. My post was mainly concerning general mentors in life. Can be business, spiritual, game.

I agree that one has to be willing to take action and have the drive. Otherwise, the mentor and mentee are both wasting time.

[MarsBlacc]

(09-10-2013 08:06 PM)Altair Wrote:  

who here learned game and became a player without the help of a mentor?

I'm about 6 months deep and have met a few guys with 2, 3, or even 4 years worth of experience yet they still aren't intermediate. I attribute one guy's slow progress to the fact that he doesn't know what to work on. He spam approaches and does no reflection at all on his approaches.

If you came up without a mentor, how did you ensure you were going on the correct direction and working on the right things?

If I could go back in time when I first started learning game, I'd say to myself. The following...

1. Focus on either getting a high paying career and/or online marketing. Your money is more important than getting laid. Spend more time hustling with your business than pick up. But, still be consistent with pick up.
2. Move out of momma's house ASAP (you will save yourself a lot of grief and barriers).


That's my tip to you but to answer your question, field reports and honestly assess yourself. Plus, ONLY take advice from real players. Most coaches suck.