[DonnyGately]

Or you could just reply 'Good, I made plans with someone else' and then radio silence. If they reply then make them wait a couple days before responding. Then you're not chasing her.

2 early 20s girls I didn't bother replying too since they flaked pre-confirm text came crawling back 2-3 weeks later begging me to meet up with them. Now you know they are DTF.

[theking85]

Question to the group about a recent flake/not sure if it's a flake that happened to me after I banged a chick this weekend and advice on next steps. I'm newly back in the game after a LTR so a bit rusty and need some advice on how to play this. Appreciate the help gents!

Background: Met a solid 8-9 23yr old on Tinder and grabbed drinks at a swanky hotel lounge near my apt this past Friday. Shut the bar down at 2am then went to my apt for some more drinks. One thing led to another and I banged her multiple times until we finally went to bed after sunrise. She spent the night. My parents were in town and I had plans to meet up with them at 10am so I had to kick her out while I was leaving but got her an uber home (she lives in the same city a few miles away). The girl is in town for the summer and heading to France for a study abroad program in a month. She also spent part of her childhood in France. We had a lot in common, she was super hot, intelligent, etc. and I'd like to add her to my roster while she's in town.

Next steps: A bit after she left, shot her a text saying I had fun and to let me know when she got home so I knew she got there safe. She texted me back and said she had so much fun and to enjoy biking with my parents. We text a bit later that day/early evening and I ask her what she's up to that night (sat night). She says she's figuring it out and grabbing drinks with friends in a part of town. I respond with "let me know if you're out later and wanna meet up, I'll be out with friends". She texts back "we should meet up later " "will u be downtown". we text back and forth a little bit more with her ending by indicating again she wants to meet up and telling me again she had fun the night before.

Then the flake: Here's where things get dicey. She hits me up at like 8:30 and tells me shes grabbing drinks at xyz part of town at a certain restaurant. I had a friend's bday party so I told her that's where I was and that I'd be out in a couple hours. just left it at that. Then around 10pm I hit her up asking what she was up to. No response. Here's where I think I acted beta and need help determining if I can recover. I was pissed she didn't hit me back bc I wanted to hit it again that night and thought I had it in the bag so wasn't aggressively pursuing other girls that were at the party. So, around midnight I hit her up again when I was drunk even though I knew I shouldn't since it was beta since she didn't respond to the prior text, and said hit me up if you wanna meet up on your way home. Weak text I know and beta as fuck given it makes it sound like I didn't have other options. She hits me back a bit after 1am and says "ok thanks hun". I realized I had been beta and didn't respond and went on with my night which ended with me and my boy pulling two other girls from a club to go watch the sunrise with us at the beach and then went back to my place with 4 girls ( including two others that I pulled from the beach at 6am that were also there from the bar). So def not a bad night by any means, but still want to bang this chick again. Realize I prob could have turned it around but figured she had met someone else while she was out and didn't want to come off as weaker than my other text.

Next Day: So i hit her up Sunday afternoon telling her that I caught my second sunrise in a row at the beach w friends but that it wasnt as nice as watching it naked with her and ask her how her night was. she hits me back with "omg im so jealous" "hahaha good memory " I didn't text her back as I didn't want to seem needy when she wasn't engaging much.

Now: So, now what do I do? I'm thinking about hitting her up later today/tonight to try to get her out on a second date later this week for drinks somewhere. Is this the best way to play this? I'm thrown off bc she kinda flaked on me on Sat / my game was weak to her on Sat but then she responds on Sunday. Seems like I still have a chance to hit again but want to see what everyone thinks and what the best way to play this is?

[OregonToSoCal]

I didn't read your post in detail but the gist I'm getting is that you shouldn't have tried to meet up with her the very next night. It feels a little clingy and women today have an extremely low cling threshold. Then when you texted her again on Sunday it confirmed your neediness to her. Next time let a few days go by before you reach out again (after you send the morning after text).

[theking85]

(07-20-2015 03:09 PM)OregonToSoCal Wrote:  

I didn't read your post in detail but the gist I'm getting is that you shouldn't have tried to meet up with her the very next night. It feels a little clingy and women today have an extremely low cling threshold. Then when you texted her again on Sunday it confirmed your neediness to her. Next time let a few days go by before you reach out again (after you send the morning after text).

Thanks for the response. Yeah I figured that but was just trying to re-position a little better than the weak game when I was drunk Sat night. Do you think it's game over at this point or should I try to hit her up this week at some pt? I know she's getting tons of attention from others and still at least responding (not to mention we had an awesome night) which may be positive but she's leaving the city in a few weeks so she prob just trying to get it everywhere. Kind of unclear to me but figure I should at least try to fuck her again. Thoughts on ability to recover?

[OregonToSoCal]

(07-20-2015 05:17 PM)theking85 Wrote:  

(07-20-2015 03:09 PM)OregonToSoCal Wrote:  

I didn't read your post in detail but the gist I'm getting is that you shouldn't have tried to meet up with her the very next night. It feels a little clingy and women today have an extremely low cling threshold. Then when you texted her again on Sunday it confirmed your neediness to her. Next time let a few days go by before you reach out again (after you send the morning after text).

Thanks for the response. Yeah I figured that but was just trying to re-position a little better than the weak game when I was drunk Sat night. Do you think it's game over at this point or should I try to hit her up this week at some pt? I know she's getting tons of attention from others and still at least responding (not to mention we had an awesome night) which may be positive but she's leaving the city in a few weeks so she prob just trying to get it everywhere. Kind of unclear to me but figure I should at least try to fuck her again. Thoughts on ability to recover?

Your chances of recovery are likely slim but I would wait at least two weeks before sending her a restart text. If she reaches out to you between now and then take it as a sign that you need to plan a specific date right then and there. Don't dilly dally around, tell her what the plan is and ask her when she's available.

[Merenguero]

(09-16-2014 08:10 PM)horn Wrote:  

(09-15-2014 11:04 AM)kaotic Wrote:  

Honestly I've had plenty of flakes, plenty of girls that say they are busy or have plans, but don't counter-offer.

I think they want you to make the counter offer because they feel it's your responsibility. I've gotten bangs within the first or second flake.

Oh yeah. Definitely. Some girls like being chased. Besides, what's the cost and effort involved in sending a text?

edit - this specifically applies for me for college girls. If you're 24 and can't get your shit together, next.

I didn't even realize Horn was banned and I liked his posts. At this point, if the banned members explanation thread were bumped, I think we would be reading pages of explanations. It's probably not worth Roosh's time to bump it.

[Anchor Man]

Bump.
Because I think counter-offer is kinda of myth.
Counter offer is indicator of high interested
No counter offer>>> it doesn't necessarily mean there is no interest .

For all newbies, myself included, persist.

[Dalaran1991]

Rereading this put my mind in a better state. The content of discussion was way better back then.

On topic. Counter offer seem to only trigger in social circle, even then rarely, or if you already bang the girl. I dont think there's any dynamics to this at all, just the flaky nature of girls plus low attention span in the online dating age.

Agree with Samseau though, girls flaking without counter offer arent LTR materials. Thats getting rarer everyday. Even friends aren't making counter offer, let alone rando bitches

[Anchor Man]

And By the way, here we are talking about "flaking ".
Some girls might decline your date offer, well in advance, with no counter offer . PUA community will say next them . Totally wrong. I banged a girl who decline my date offer with no counter offer. I asked her again and she agreed.

[griffinmill]

In dating girls lack initiative and are 100% passive 290% of the time.

Unless you're Leo DiCaprio.

You have to move things forward, always. They'll give you shit to work with.

[Easy_C]

Agree. If they're seriously interested they will at least discuss other possibilities or put out some effort to keep you trying to set up a time.

[tugofpeace]

(07-07-2015 08:08 PM)DonnyGately Wrote:  

Or you could just reply 'Good, I made plans with someone else' and then radio silence. If they reply then make them wait a couple days before responding. Then you're not chasing her.

2 early 20s girls I didn't bother replying too since they flaked pre-confirm text came crawling back 2-3 weeks later begging me to meet up with them. Now you know they are DTF.

this type of response is so cringe.. any girl would see right through that in a heartbeat.

[lunchmoney]

Happens to the best of us, in fact happened to me tonight. I made the mistake of making plans on a Saturday night with a 8 whom I met a month earlier. We were supposed to go out a few weeks ago, but she text me a few hours prior cancelling because she was coming down with a cold. Fast forward and I checked in with her this week asking if she was feeling better w/ hopes to reschedule. Looking back - she should have been the one to follow up with the contact. I lost control of the situation once I did that, and now the odds of getting her out, and more importantly banging, have dropped.

[Anchor Man]

(11-18-2018 05:36 AM)lunchmoney Wrote:  

Happens to the best of us, in fact happened to me tonight. I made the mistake of making plans on a Saturday night with a 8 whom I met a month earlier. We were supposed to go out a few weeks ago, but she text me a few hours prior cancelling because she was coming down with a cold. Fast forward and I checked in with her this week asking if she was feeling better w/ hopes to reschedule. Looking back - she should have been the one to follow up with the contact. I lost control of the situation once I did that, and now the odds of getting her out, and more importantly banging, have dropped.

Actually the thread advocates what you did. Persist. Burn the lead to the ground. I didn't see you did anything wrong

[True Balla]

Women counter offer? Definitely a myth.

I just keep em around on my snapchat and text "Are you free tonight" like 3 times a week. Sometimes after like the 5th text they'll say im very persistent and agree. Otherwise I just remove after 2 months

[Rang off the Pipe]

Depending on the nature of the flake, I'll be a little persistent. However, in general I don't waste much time if a girl isn't suggesting any kind of reschedule or anything. My experience shows that if a girl doesn't give a counter offer, then she's just communicating for entertainment. Unfortunately, most of my leads the past few months have been from online apps. And we all know the deal with a lot of girls on these online apps when it comes to actually wanting to meet up.

[Anchor Man]

(11-18-2018 01:39 PM)Rang off the Pipe Wrote:  

Depending on the nature of the flake, I'll be a little persistent. However, I general I don't waste much time if a girl isn't suggesting any kind of reschedule or anything. My experience shows that if a girl doesn't give a counter offer, then she's just communicating for entertainment. Unfortunately, most of my leads the past few months have been from online apps. And we all know the deal with a lot of girls on these online apps when it comes to actually wanting to meet up.

I agree to some extent . Always calibrate. If she gives you shit to work with, then persist. If she is really cold, then leave it.

[LexisNexis]

Never happens honestly