[boywonder34]

In a few weeks, some friends and I are going to do a trip to Amsterdam. I am considering staying a few extra days after my friends have left so I can lose my virginity.
I'm 30 and the furthest I have gone with a girl is kissing. The last girl I was kind of seeing (only several dates), she said she thought I was a great guy and definitely wanted to be friends because she wasn't sure she wanted a relationship.
I read this as "shes not sure she wants a relationship -with me-".

I searched around the forum for other guys considering losing their virginity to a prostitute and the replies in that thread were largely "get into game, read the massive amounts of material available, approach".
I have been doing that for several years, without much success.

One of the posts suggested getting the help of a coach, to see if I am doing anything fundamentally wrong. Last summer was my last summer before I turned 30 and thought I can either live my life knowing what if, or take the bootcamp and see if it is lifechanging. I pulled the trigger, paid thousands to go on a bootcamp which I didn't find that helpful for me. But at least I now know instead of wondering. The coach improved my wardrobe (which I'm thankful for) and told me I'm too logical and cerebral.

Some of the other posts said just get out there and approach 100 times. I know I haven't been doing enough of this. I've been recording what I've been doing and the result. I'm looking at it now and I can't believe there are only 7 listed there over 3 months. Btw I only count an approach where there is a result or I get rejected. There were several other approaches where it fizzled out, so I didn't get rejected, nor did I get any results. I'm not going to give myself an easy pass and include those. (just for the record, I haven't done 7 my whole life, only 7 since I started recording).

Another post in that thread suggested tinder. I've had a go, but dont get any matches. Based on the experience of my friends, most are unsuccessful too (even though they have more experience with women than I do).

Sometimes when I'm at a club and approach unsucessfully, my friends are impressed and say "I can't believe you did that", "what you did was awesome" etc etc. Yet they are the ones with gfs (or married) and not me. How can they say that? I don't understand their point of view.

I'm now at the point where I'm thinking perhaps my virginity is taking up too much realestate in my head, that subconsciously it is making me doing some things that are a bit needy in my desperation to lose the v card when interacting with girls. I figure if I can get that monkey off my back, its one less thing to be insecure about. Opposing this is "only omega losers need to pay for it, normal people use game and get it for free". I do not want to identify with losers, even though I still see myself as doing some massively beta things still. (I'm catching this behaviour in myself and sometimes note when other guys do beta things so I don't do them myself). Part of me would still like my first time to be with "someone special", but I choose to get with the times and fuck that shit even though its not who i really am.

I was looking around and another guy on reddit was a 32 year old virgin and said in a few weeks he was going to asphyxiate himself with nitrogen. A lot of posts said something along the lines of "if you're going to kill yourself, then at least consider a prostitute - you're gonna kill yourself anyway, at least see what its like". That got me thinking, if I knew I only had 4 weeks left to live, what would I do? I'd approach without fear. I'd see a prostitute so at least I wouldn't die a virgin. Then I thought, gee, theres nothing stopping me from doing that now while I'm still healthy. btw I'm not going to kill myself, this isn't a pathetic cry for help or attention.

What advice do you have? Part of me thinks I should stay behind in Amsterdam and go for it after my friends have left, but another post here on the forum said "just knowing that hundreds of other cocks had been there before me would sicken me and I'd rather go without", which I also agree with.

sorry this is long, I know how threads like this always end up long, I tried to keep it short. Thanks.

[Dalaran1991]

Its a last ditch resort, but it certainly can do you good. McQueen has an excellent post on his blog but I cant find the link. Basically, sex is sex and girls do sense if you dont have it. At this point 30 yo, I think its very important to get it out of the way so you at least know what it means to get sexual with a woman. Shove your ego up the ass, it will not do you any good. There s nothing wrong or dishonorable about going to Amsterdam.

I did it at my country as an initiation with my buddies and boy did it help me a lot.

Dont waste money on bootcamp or coach. As a newbie you are easy prey for the PUA crowd. If you really want to learn PM some of the reputed people here, see what they can offer. It also helps to have a friend who will motivate you to go out and approach.

Do your research, Amsterdam can be tricky for tourist. PM me if you need more info

[Vroom]

Absolutely bang a hooker. Hell, bang 2...but why do you need to stay behind after your friends have left to do it?

It shouldn't be a shameful thing, especially not when you're in Amsterdam.

[LemonDrink]

Yes go bang a hooker but why do it in Amsterdam? Do it today in your city.

[DogsBreakfast]

First. When your friends say wow u approached that girl etc, dont feel u did anything special, my friends would say the same to me and I use to let it affect me thinking im special. All u are doing is acting on your feelings. E.g. U find her attractive so u talk to her

Anyway down to business. Just pay for the hooker, but before u start u must tell her you are a virgin trust me it will be better for u and also her. The first time for anyone usually sucks I know it did for me, but if u tell her this it will be a bit better. (Remember to wear a condom though lol)

There is no shame in paying for the hooker, its definitely much better than staying a virgin. Like most people have said dont wait until amsterdam, u can do it now! And u will enjoy amsterdam WAY more if u do

If u want help with anything pm me I am confident in any advice I give. And I will tell u my story so u can know my experience.

[LemonDrink]

(09-09-2014 07:34 AM)DogsBreakfast Wrote:  

Anyway down to business. Just pay for the hooker, but before u start u must tell her you are a virgin trust me it will be better for u and also her. The first time for anyone usually sucks I know it did for me, but if u tell her this it will be a bit better.

Don't tell the hooker you are a virgin, she'll only look down on you even more. Most hookers look at their clients as losers. You might get a sympathetic hearing from an older hooker but I am not sure a 50 year old hooker is going to be a good looker.

[Sonsowey]

Are you very bad looking?

Online game is pretty easy if you're persistent. Don't use Tinder though, use OkCupid. Tinder is for the best looking people really. OkCupid allows you to use game a bit more and attract girls through your interactions. Of course pictures are also important. It's just a numbers game so if you're doing it right, you will get results within say, a month or two.

If you want one-on-one help, PM me and I can help you set up a profile, message girls, get their numbers, etc. I've helped a few guys with their profiles before and genuinely enjoy helping out.

Don't go for a "relationship", take them out somewhere, have a drink, do a cool activity maybe, and go for the bang. Sexualizing the interaction quickly sets the frame, there's no chance to go out with a girl several times and only kiss if you're making it clear that you want to escalate from the first date. That way she's either in or out.

[simondice]

Dude, even though I see what you mean by taking matters into your hands,I say give this a try, it's changed my life in the most amazing way.

Your mindset seems all wrong, you just have to align it with your deepest vision

Check this out

It's called the strangest secret of all.

I truly believe this will change your life

[Virtus]

You really should do it. Several times. Because you have in your mind, without a doubt, an idea as to what sex is. And until you try you will be too careful around the point where you are about to get some with any girl. Which kills the momentum. So go. Bang some hookers. If you can go to Germany and go to a fkk and fuck half a dozen.Anyhow. Before the lock. As we don't really discuss p4p here. Go to internationalsexguide.com and read the reports there. That's a website for whore mongers.

[boywonder34]

Yes I wish id had someone tell me a boot camp is a waste of money. It was one if those things ill never know if I dont try, but I think it should be universal in this forum that boot camps are a waste unless the coach gives you targeted specific feedback. I think roosh said when he used to do it, he'd use a notepad and watch his students. Its a shame I didn't realise very few others if any are as meticulous as that.

The reason I am waiting for my friends to leave is because -I- find it shameful. It means I have fully and completely failed to learn game, the most basic of animal desires. Believe me, I wish i wasn't like this.

As for whether to tell the hooker im a v, I don't know now, there posts that say I should and shouldn't. If im paying for it, obviously im going to go for a good looking young woman. Will she make it shit for me and not care?

I didn't know p4p was frowned upon so much it was worth locking. But I am surprised that a lot have recommended I do it more than once on this trip. I was planning only doing it once to remove it from my mind.

I was also half expecting some to talk me out of it, that if I did 10x more work, id get 10x the results. I know that would indeed be the case, but what is also clear is that for me to be a v at 30, I must also have other issues.

Im kind of glad that every poster has said go for it, if only to get it over and done with.
In anticipation of a lock, thanks for all your suggestions. i will do more research to make sure i dont get emotionally affected and all that.

[boywonder34]

"First. When your friends say wow u approached that girl etc, dont feel u did anything special, my friends would say the same to me and I use to let it affect me thinking im special. All u are doing is acting on your feelings. E.g. U find her attractive so u talk to her"

No, I dont give myself a pat on the back, especially I was unsuccessful- I like to think the effort required to approach, for a man, should be no more than that of breathing.

i know on these forums, all that really matters is if you got the bang, but i still get a buzz from even just getting a number.

[Sonsowey]

I do not mean to make you feel bad or anything, but I had a friend who was a virgin into his 20s. For a time he was talking about going to a hooker. We went out gaming for a couple months and he didnt have success but eventually he did and found a girl who he has been dating for a few years now.

I think he is glad he got his first bang from a non pro. Granted, he was in his 20s not yet 30. If you find something shameful, as you stated, you should think about that before doing it.

I know some guys have said go for it, I would personally advise you try to meet a girl some other way, but it is your choice ultimately and I am not in your situation. But you are new here so why not give it a few months at least of being here and getting advice from guys? I think the feeling of accomplishment will be worth it. Just my opinion.

[Remington]

Get an okc profile, make it ridiculous, and go to town...shooting fish in a barrel. Go out and game and get as many numbers as you can. Getting with girls is a game of numbers and skill. You'll get it...just takes time. Keep on chugging along man.

[Dalaran1991]

(09-09-2014 11:12 PM)Remington Wrote:  

Get an okc profile, make it ridiculous, and go to town...shooting fish in a barrel. Go out and game and get as many numbers as you can. Getting with girls is a game of numbers and skill. You'll get it...just takes time. Keep on chugging along man.

True, but being sexually inexperienced often exudes a stinking aura that repel girls. For some reasons they have a nose for this. He should do all the above once he gets his dick wet.

[Sonsowey]

(09-10-2014 02:31 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

True, but being sexually inexperienced often exudes a stinking aura that repel girls. For some reasons they have a nose for this. He should do all the above once he gets his dick wet.

True but do you really think that "aura" will go away after fucking a hooker 1 time?

I know people who give off this same "aura" of sexual inexperience who are not virgins, but have had a relatively little amount of sex in their life.

Contrast this with my friend who I was gaming with when he was a virgin, he knew he had to act confident and in control, had to lead the interaction etc. The girl who he lost his Vcard to assumed he was a stone cold player and had been with tons of girls.

I don't think sleeping with a hooker 1 time will do anything at all to change a guys aura. The sexual inexperience is still there, one bang at age 30 doesn't make your vibe change. And he will still be just as inexperienced with sleeping with non-pros.

So he'll lose his vcard but he'll still have just as little idea about how to sleep with regular women, which seems like it'd juts imply the best thing is to keep sleeping with pros, which the OP has said himself he considers shameful, so it seems just self-debasing.

[LemonDrink]

Most people in society don't bother with cold approaching yet still end up having sex. Maybe the starter poster should see what he is not doing that other people do. Maybe he has a mental block on that front.

Going into your 30s and still a virgin shows showing is not right at all. Its only ever excusable if someone is coming from a place of real bad emotional trauma and all rest. And even then its hard to excuse. If this guy can do it, why can't others:


http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sean_Stephenson

[Davidovich]

Nothing wrong with banging a professional and learning from her. Often some very pretty ones are just working to pay their tuition etc etc. Suggest to pick one who looks young and yummy, somebody you could even be seen with. Take your time, ask questions, don't be shy with her, enjoy your time with her, and be a gentleman. Then as she gets ready, you might put on two condoms. A double layer will help with control, which can be difficult when both are really excited. Make her cum first, just for practice.

[Statsi]

Man I'd totally recommend banging a pro in the red light district of Amsterdam. The girls there are gorgeous and excellent at their gig. The whole red light district isn't seedy or dangerous there, no violence, drugs, Stds, or pimps. Hell you'll see Dutch families walking through it during the day. Haven't been in a couple of years but used to be 50 euros for oral and sex with a condom on, have a good trip mate!

[MdWanderer]

(09-10-2014 10:54 AM)LemonDrink Wrote:  

Going into your 30s and still a virgin shows showing is not right at all. Its only ever excusable if someone is coming from a place of real bad emotional trauma and all rest. And even then its hard to excuse. If this guy can do it, why can't others:


http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sean_Stephenson

That's because the guy got off his ass and made something of himself. Most of us would have a beer with that guy before any 'healthy' guy out there who moans and complains about his lot in life.

[ThrustMaster]

Yep I'd say at this point, bang some hookers. I'd say that your first experience will most likely be disappointing - you'll wish you'd done better. Then go out the next night, find a cuter one, bang her. It'll be better. Hit like 10 make sure they all turn your crank - you should think they're hot - don't fuck a hooker thats old and/or unattractive. Get a blow job or 12.

You'll have 10 + notches - who gives a fuck if they're pros - at least they'll have incentive to please you.

The idea is to get over your hangups re: sex. It'll make your nascent game better.

[boywonder34]

"Most people in society don't bother with cold approaching yet still end up having sex. Maybe the starter poster should see what he is not doing that other people do. Maybe he has a mental block on that front."

I dont really know what part of me is lacking - I have friends, I have hobbies, i dont any physical deformities. I think I just never got that education while growing up. My parents gave me the beta script "dont worry about girls, get good grades, get a college degree, get a job and you'll have no problem finding girls".

"Going into your 30s and still a virgin shows showing is not right at all. Its only ever excusable if someone is coming from a place of real bad emotional trauma and all rest."

Do you mean "shows something is not right at all"? My mother said to me when i was a teenager that girls would never find me attractive, that girls would be embarrassed to even be seen with me.
I want to smash this belief, but each time a girl friendzones or rejects me, it kind of reinforces it as truth. i know the only way to break this belief is to see evidence to the contrary which I've been working on since i started getting into game and approaching.

I've spent 10 years trying to build up my confidence. Before i used to hate my own reflection in the mirror, whereas now i think, yea this guy is alright, there should be no reason a girl wouldn't want to date him.

I -have- gone on dates and approached in clubs and made out (well only once), so im grasping at straws here - maybe it is the virgin stink that is turning girls off hence the very title of this post.

[boywonder34]

My phone doesn't show up the post when I press quote post.

"I think he is glad he got his first bang from a non pro. Granted, he was in his 20s not yet 30. If you find something shameful, as you stated, you should think about that before doing it."

Ideally, I *would* keep chugging along, massively increasing the number of approaches. Its just with a trip to Amsterdam coming up, I figure if im ever going to do it, I should do it there where its cheaper and the girls are hotter than where I live.

I intend to continue approaching and learning after the trip, except I wont have the monster at the forefront of my mimd everytime I try to escalate.

Its not for a few weeks yet, so I still have time to approach. Its just if my previous behaviour is any measure, I will fail. Even just today I thought, "im going to make an effort to approach on the way to work, during my lunch break and after work". I saw at least 6 women worthy of approaching, but mu mind keeps on giving me excuses to not approach, eg fuck fuck fuck she is looking at her phone fuck fuck fuck it looks like she is waiting for someone like a bf (she then greeted a guy when I turned around to approach).

I really need to be finding excuses TO approach, as opposed to not approaching.
Fuck it, tomorrow I WILL post in the I-just-approached thread (assuming it doesn't rain...)

[MdWanderer]

(09-10-2014 01:20 PM)boywonder34 Wrote:  

Do you mean "shows something is not right at all"? My mother said to me when i was a teenager that girls would never find me attractive, that girls would be embarrassed to even be seen with me.

Don't fall for this baloney. But with that being said, you are just going to have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and reinvent yourself. And I'm not trying to get on my soapbox here, I was in your shoes (albeit in my early 20s, but my friends were getting laid effortlessly while I was beating my dick). I went on a sports message board one time and was asking people how to get laid. I even asked my mother to find me a girlfriend, so I know how it is.

For starters, try to get into a few hobbies to give yourself an identity (music, language, sports, etc). I'm trying my hand at stand up comedy, I'm naturally funny just being myself so why not get fame for it? Lose weight, build muscle, and try to make some female friends who can encourage you (ones that you're not trying to get with or maybe other female relatives). Second, are you even being sexually aggressive? Once you find that the friend zoning comes from your inaction and not your looks, you'll feel much better. I was beating my head against a wall until I read these boards. David D, Tyler Durden, or whatever boot camps are out there don't teach you that you need to ESCALATE! Trust me, I tried them all.

I hope you take this and the advice of others on this board, and good luck.

[slubu]

I have some questions for you:

1. What do you look like? Height, Weight, Fitness Level, Skin Color, etc.
2. What city are you in?
3. Do you drink alcohol?
4. Do you smoke cigarettes?

Answer these for me, and I will give you my thoughts and suggestions.

[simondice]

Dude it's an empty transaction, it's never going to be good.

Being with a woman for real is one of the best feelings you can ever have as a man, you, in control of the interaction, with a beautiful woman that is emotionally dominated and physically craving for you, the emotional connection that you have after your first time after exuding your most basic instincts into her.

Hooker or P4P is a fake lie, that feels feels like soft empty masturbation, with the guilt knowing you're giving up.

Pm me dude, I'm sure there's another way.