[rhr]

The following was given to me by a girl I've been seeing for ~4 months, in written form, before my departure for a business trip.

Excerpts, total about 5 pages:

• "It's okay if you find another girl and try to forget me, I want you to be happy forever"
• "Thanks for all the memories you gave me..."
• "I am very happy and comfortable with you. I know you have a good heart..."
• "I will wait for your return, but if you don't come back it's okay because I now you'll be happy..."
• "I dont want to force myself onto you"
• "I will always love you..."
• "I've been waiting so long for somebody to finally love me, sometimes I just feel like giving up..."
  

etc. etc. You get the picture!

Verdict?

BTW. The girl in question is 25, filipina, HB8+ (in my eyes), extremely cute, highly submissive, never fights, always "accepts" and so on.

What to do?
.

[el mechanico]

Stage 10 clinger

[rhr]

Extremely clingy, yes.

[Captain Gh]

unfortunately I'm not getting a vibe that's good for you on this one. might be preparing to eject and wants to put it on you as why she left. it all depends if you've been an alpha boss with her. If you were, no worries you'll get her back

[rhr]

@Gh
I considered that to be a possibility, but how can I be sure?

[Captain Gh]

when you come back from your trip try to set up a meet with extremely low effort. just a txt asking her to drop by with some food that's cooked for you or one of your favorite.

if she gives you a hard time fir the meet, you might want to let her go for good but if she's really worth it to you, you'll have to re establish your dominance over her.

[rhr]

We are going to meet at the airport. It appears to me she is putting in a lot of effort to keep this relationship alive. For example she contacts me regularely through intl. calls paying with her own money. She regularly visits internet cafes to skype with me (again, paying herself). She is from a poor 3rd world village!
She also cooks for me regularely without hesiation. I once told her that I don't have a lot of cash, her response was that it's okay, we can live in a cheap place, she just wants to be with me...

[Onto]

Sounds like she's in love. What is it that you want to do?

[Dalaran1991]

I might be railing against everyone for this, but I just cant understand: why punish the girl and seek to bail while she has been extremely good to you, from what I have read?

From your own words, she is attractive, tries to please you, never upset you, is submissive etc. What else to hate? Of course she is clingy because thats women s nature when she found somebody she truly likes. What else does she has to do in order to please you?

If you dont want to be in a LTR or has an unsatiable thirst for new pussies then I understand, but still it looks like you found wife/relationship material. Why dont you reward her with one? You can always bail later when she start acting bitchy/unfeminine. Just dont let yourself be duped thats all

We often bitch about how women are bitches and decadent, but Im starting to question if it isnt us the players who find the good girls and turn them bad by eventually leaving them and scar them forever.

[h3ltrsk3ltr]

It sounds to me like she's being mad needy and desperate for affection but I've heard similar things from buddies who were stationed overseas (especially the Philippines) who got long, emotional letters from girls proclaiming to love you longtime.

It was often a plea for a green card marriage.

[Onto]

I don't think rhr said he wants to bail. Sounds like he's in question about the whole thing, which is normal.

1) Is she bieng genuine?
2) If yes, is she also hedging her bets with other guys too?
3) How do I feel about her? Do I want an LTR with her? How would it work? etc.
4) What will she require of me? What will I require of her?

Of course, you have to know for sure what the answer to the first question is. We can only analyze at a distance, which can be valuable since we are objective, but also very limiting since we aren't in the relationship.

[rhr]

(08-25-2014 10:34 AM)Onto Wrote:  

What is it that you want to do?

(08-25-2014 10:41 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

... why punish the girl and seek to bail while she has been extremely good to you, from what I have read?

I want to continue banging new girls for another five years or so and then settling with a girl who truely loves me and cares about me and start a small family.
This girl is a prime canidate for that and staying with her is certainly on the table.

The thing is (as "unmanly" as it may sound) that I'm a very empathetic and caring person, I'd hate to hurt (or punish as you said) this girl. Yet the idea of never seeing another girl again is equally difficult for me to accept. I'm torn.

Keeping her as my "main" while banging others, possibly in other countries, would be my preferred option, the question is can I handle that emotionally? This would force me into some kind of "double-life", with me secretly banging chicks on the side. Another problem with that could be that I end up with another clingy thing. That would be desasterous...

As for the of your post:
I absolutely agree!

Quote:

We often bitch about how women are bitches and decadent, but Im starting to question if it isnt us the players who find the good girls and turn them bad by eventually leaving them and scar them forever.

I think you hit nail on the head here!

[Parlay44]

It's a psychological manipulation. By telling you it's ok to do something it takes away your desire to do it.
She wants you to commit to her. Totally stage 10 clinger.

[rhr]

@Parlay
I'm aware of that. The question is is it a good or bad thing?

[kinjutsu]

Run far away.
This is passive aggressive girl BS. She wants you to "correct" her impression of you.
These reason why she's saying this to you is because it works...
At 25 and being an "8" she's had experience with guys leaving her. Maybe she wants you to stick around and marry her or whatever.
At the end of the day you should just move on and find a saner girl to be with.

[Dalaran1991]

(08-25-2014 11:00 AM)rhr Wrote:  

(08-25-2014 10:34 AM)Onto Wrote:  

What is it that you want to do?

(08-25-2014 10:41 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

... why punish the girl and seek to bail while she has been extremely good to you, from what I have read?

I want to continue banging new girls for another five years or so and then settling with a girl who truely loves me and cares about me and start a small family.
This girl is a prime canidate for that and staying with her is certainly on the table.

The thing is (as "unmanly" as it may sound) that I'm a very empathetic and caring person, I'd hate to hurt (or punish as you said) this girl. Yet the idea of never seeing another girl again is equally difficult for me to accept. I'm torn.

Keeping her as my "main" while banging others, possibly in other countries, would be my preferred option, the question is can I handle that emotionally? This would force me into some kind of "double-life", with me secretly banging chicks on the side. Another problem with that could be that I end up with another clingy thing. That would be desasterous...

As for the of your post:
I absolutely agree!

Quote:

We often bitch about how women are bitches and decadent, but Im starting to question if it isnt us the players who find the good girls and turn them bad by eventually leaving them and scar them forever.

I think you hit nail on the head here!

There s nothing unmanly about having empathy for people. Its called being a fucking human being.

K I see your dilemna. You seem to be a genuine guy. Why not break it to her? I do the same for my main girl who acts similar to yours. I tell her I will stay with her as long as she is still good and feminine like this, on the condition that I still go out and hit on other women if and when I want to. But I agree to spend most of my time with her and havent regretted it. Makes her even more eager to keep me around. Shit she even pays my meals and buy me gifts.

Stay with her for a while but keep eyes open. You aint a dumbass. If she tries to manipulate you it WILL show over time, come up here and ask a question and we ll break it up to you. If over time she is still acting nice without asking for anything BUT your time, no need to ditch her. Girls like that aint easy to find.

I disagree with ditchign girls as soon as they want you to commit. If thats the case girls should ditch guys as soon as they want sex. As long as girls are worthy of commitment, consider giving it to her.

Dont do things like go seeing her family or shit like that that will tie you down.

DONT FUCKING GET HER PREGNANT

[Onto]

(08-25-2014 11:00 AM)rhr Wrote:  

I want to continue banging new girls for another five years or so and then settling with a girl who truely loves me and cares about me and start a small family.
This girl is a prime canidate for that and staying with her is certainly on the table.

Then you should keep banging girls until you're ready. I think the only time you should get married is when there is no doubt whatsover. When you look at her and can't imagine your life without her in it.

It's only been 4-5 months with this girl, I don't think you need to make a decision on marriage yet.

And as far as her bieng hurt in the future, the saying goes, "All is fair in love and war". We learn alot about ourselves and life when we're in a relationship but also learn much when relationships end.

[rhr]

Ok, thanks for all the advice, highly appreciated! I will keep you guys updated on this.

[Cheetah]

(08-25-2014 11:08 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

(08-25-2014 11:00 AM)rhr Wrote:  

(08-25-2014 10:34 AM)Onto Wrote:  

What is it that you want to do?

(08-25-2014 10:41 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

... why punish the girl and seek to bail while she has been extremely good to you, from what I have read?

I want to continue banging new girls for another five years or so and then settling with a girl who truely loves me and cares about me and start a small family.
This girl is a prime canidate for that and staying with her is certainly on the table.

The thing is (as "unmanly" as it may sound) that I'm a very empathetic and caring person, I'd hate to hurt (or punish as you said) this girl. Yet the idea of never seeing another girl again is equally difficult for me to accept. I'm torn.

Keeping her as my "main" while banging others, possibly in other countries, would be my preferred option, the question is can I handle that emotionally? This would force me into some kind of "double-life", with me secretly banging chicks on the side. Another problem with that could be that I end up with another clingy thing. That would be desasterous...

As for the of your post:
I absolutely agree!

Quote:

We often bitch about how women are bitches and decadent, but Im starting to question if it isnt us the players who find the good girls and turn them bad by eventually leaving them and scar them forever.

I think you hit nail on the head here!

There s nothing unmanly about having empathy for people. Its called being a fucking human being.

K I see your dilemna. You seem to be a genuine guy. Why not break it to her? I do the same for my main girl who acts similar to yours. I tell her I will stay with her as long as she is still good and feminine like this, on the condition that I still go out and hit on other women if and when I want to. But I agree to spend most of my time with her and havent regretted it. Makes her even more eager to keep me around. Shit she even pays my meals and buy me gifts.

Stay with her for a while but keep eyes open. You aint a dumbass. If she tries to manipulate you it WILL show over time, come up here and ask a question and we ll break it up to you. If over time she is still acting nice without asking for anything BUT your time, no need to ditch her. Girls like that aint easy to find.

I disagree with ditchign girls as soon as they want you to commit. If thats the case girls should ditch guys as soon as they want sex. As long as girls are worthy of commitment, consider giving it to her.

Dont do things like go seeing her family or shit like that that will tie you down.

DONT FUCKING GET HER PREGNANT

How far can you push this, do you get your main girl to accept not being allowed to see someone else?

[rhr]

(08-26-2014 08:12 AM)Cheetah Wrote:  

How far can you push this, do you get your main girl to accept not being allowed to see someone else?

I will have to test the waters. Right now even me chatting with other girls is making her crazy jealous (typical filipino haha!). She is, however, aware of her own jealousness and we can pretty much talk about anything. We have a strong connection to the point where we have our own lingo and phrases which no outsider would understand.

Add 3-5 years to my age and I would stick with her. Right now however, I'm still deep in the 'travel and explore' phase of my life...

A test for her might be to see if she sticks around while I'm building my online/location-independent business, which would require me to sit long hours in front of some screen. I guess most 'adventerous' girls would be turned down by this after a while.

EDIT: getting her pregnant at this point is completely out of question!!!

[Dalaran1991]

@Cheetah, I do not push this.

We get along very well but I make sure she knows that I have to go out dancing and training MA and that I flirt with girls by nature. I said if she s ok with it then we can stay together. She never complains though she does the usual girly stuff like marking/scratching me during sex etc.

I never forbid her to see anyone else but she kinda knows that if she does that its over. She just told me how this French guy at the airport was hitting on her and I just smirked over how lame his game was. She stopped.

Any time she tries to throw a fit (in the cute ways, not attention whoring way) I just laugh, pick her up, throw her on the bed and fuck her brains out. Thanks Christian McQueen for this tip. I think its sorta basic deep conversion game.

Whenever she goes on a trip I tell her to bring me some gifts. She always does. To reward her I take her to dinner and again fuck her brains out until she walks silly. The positive reinforcement is pretty solid and keep the hamster spinning in MY favor.

Showing a bit of hamster rage is good too. Sometimes I get furious for no reason and it really scares her, but it keeps the pussy wet. For morning exercise I use her as my squatting weight (seriously) and push up weight, along with morning sex. She also regularly does my martial art laundry which frequently has blood on. I think what this implies to her is that I will crush her into a bloody mist if she does something stupid, even though all I do around her is laugh and making fun of things and hugging puppies.

Its very pleasant being with this girl and it teaches me that despite the stupid shitstorm of feminism and post-modernism if you have a glint of danger and savagery girls will be hooked on you like on drugs. For the record, she is a lawyer. And as things are going I see no reasons to bail on her. She knows that as long as she is my good girl I take care of her.

TL;DR: Fuck her well and fuck her often, and show some inner rage and physical strength. Show, not tell. Reward her when she earns it.

[The Beast1]

(08-25-2014 10:41 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

I might be railing against everyone for this, but I just cant understand: why punish the girl and seek to bail while she has been extremely good to you, from what I have read?

From your own words, she is attractive, tries to please you, never upset you, is submissive etc. What else to hate? Of course she is clingy because thats women s nature when she found somebody she truly likes. What else does she has to do in order to please you?

If you dont want to be in a LTR or has an unsatiable thirst for new pussies then I understand, but still it looks like you found wife/relationship material. Why dont you reward her with one? You can always bail later when she start acting bitchy/unfeminine. Just dont let yourself be duped thats all

We often bitch about how women are bitches and decadent, but Im starting to question if it isnt us the players who find the good girls and turn them bad by eventually leaving them and scar them forever.

Great advice and definitely an opinion I also hold.

(08-25-2014 10:56 AM)Onto Wrote:  

I don't think rhr said he wants to bail. Sounds like he's in question about the whole thing, which is normal.

1) Is she bieng genuine?
2) If yes, is she also hedging her bets with other guys too?
3) How do I feel about her? Do I want an LTR with her? How would it work? etc.
4) What will she require of me? What will I require of her?

Of course, you have to know for sure what the answer to the first question is. We can only analyze at a distance, which can be valuable since we are objective, but also very limiting since we aren't in the relationship.

OP, you have solid advice in this thread on how to handle this. Weigh your options and see what happens. At best, why don't you try and date her for 3-4 months and see where it ends up?

[rhr]

I just came back from the gym and re-read the thread when I noticed this weak-ass reply:

(08-25-2014 11:07 AM)kinjutsu Wrote:  

Run far away.
...

Sorry bro, but that is not an option! I respect your opinion, but I'm not the kind of man who runs away whenever faced with a challange!

This girl has had a difficult childhood, including abuse, neglect and worse. I know it is not my job to play white-knight/save-a-hoe and clean this shit up, but at the same time where would we be as a species if all men did was running away???

What would you do?

Run away?


Run away??

I maneuvered myself into this shit and I will grab it by the horns and deal with it!

@Dalaran1991
You seem to have maneged this quite well. I'm looking to take things into a similar direction.

@frenchie
Agree 100%

Will keep you guys updated!

[Cheetah]

(08-26-2014 08:44 AM)rhr Wrote:  

(08-26-2014 08:12 AM)Cheetah Wrote:  

How far can you push this, do you get your main girl to accept not being allowed to see someone else?

I will have to test the waters. Right now even me chatting with other girls is making her crazy jealous (typical filipino haha!). She is, however, aware of her own jealousness and we can pretty much talk about anything. We have a strong connection to the point where we have our own lingo and phrases which no outsider would understand.

Add 3-5 years to my age and I would stick with her. Right now however, I'm still deep in the 'travel and explore' phase of my life...

A test for her might be to see if she sticks around while I'm building my online/location-independent business, which would require me to sit long hours in front of some screen. I guess most 'adventerous' girls would be turned down by this after a while.

EDIT: getting her pregnant at this point is completely out of question!!!

This is probably a cultural difference as Asian girls tend to be quite jealous by nature. If a girl is overly jealous I take it as a red flag though. She might be too insecure and might accept too much attention she might get from others and take that too far. A little jealousy could be good but too much, then no please. Either fix her insecurities or if you can't but you decide to keep her then you might actually have a reason to control her more, keep her on a short leash.