Yeah, Lostdreams is that chinese guy I was talking about. Good to have you here, man.
I will be checking my PMs weekly, so you can catch me there. I will not be posting.
Quote:Quote:
I think I get it - basically social proof - when girl A perceives you as desired/approved of by other girls, it increases her attraction/investment.
This seems to be a general dynamic with women, but sounds like you're saying it's particularly effective and important in Asia.
Could you expand on that?
Would love to hear more, especially a specific example or two of how to get the pre-validation ball rolling, and how to capitalize on it.
I also wonder how this meshes with being perceived as a player. My current understanding is that falling into "sleazy western player" frame can damage your results in Asia... girls are more concerned with "being cheap", being pumped and dumped by the foreigner, etc - but sounds like you are framing player status advantageously. Any thoughts there?
Thanks!
Quote: (04-19-2016 02:00 PM)ovloV Wrote:
Chinese government warning women about the evils of foreign boyfriends http://mp.weixin.qq.com/s?__biz=MzI4MTEx...t_redirect
Quote: (04-20-2016 12:15 PM)atlant Wrote:
Met a girl from Sichuan in Taiwan tonight. That's like the 10th girl from Sichuan that started as a random Tantan match I didn't expect much from and then she turned out to be completely amazing. I don't know what shit they put in the water there but they should bring some of it across the strait.
Quote: (05-10-2016 02:08 PM)TravelerKai Wrote:
Glorious first post!! Please do mind yourself here at RVF so that you can stick around for a long time. This is good feedback that is often times needed from fresh new blood.
As for things in your post:
1. Quality will improve based mostly on two things: Cultural knowledge mixed with game and language skills. There are some other alternatives but that would take all day long to breakdown and I have done it in this thread in scattered posts. (eg. Business circle game, advanced WeiBo Model hunting, actual wife hunting (girls act different when they see you playing for keeps), better marriage age (27-38), etc...)
2. That chick that was having a dinner with her boss is trying to climb the ladder guanxi style, which isn't really designed for women (China is a man's world). 3 types of women like this (Good Girls, Semi-Bad, and Bad). Semi Bad and Bad will do the drink baijiu and fuck the boss or bosses to varying degrees. The only way to practically stop the first two from doing this or even getting to the point to where these choices are given to them, is for a top-notch boyfriend/fiancee that can rescue them from that lifestyle. Bad girls don't give a shit. They are extremely opportunistic and take the best offers from the best man/men. Govt (The CCP) working women don't have this pressure as bad as private in many ways, but some stories are out there saying the same stuff too. Basically your takeaway is that you were either too slow to get serious or your game is not good enough to make her ice those ambitions enough to spend time with you. I will be honest with you guys for a bit. My wife is the only one I ever bothered to pull away from that world. I let all the others do whatever they wanted because I did not give a shit. Choose wisely or NEXT!!
3. The phone addiction does suck and is rampant there. It is what it is. Still better than chasing old MILFS and GILFS that won't touch the phones hardly, even if they are not all that bad looking. There is just too much freshness out there. It's something we all gotta get used to everywhere, girls included. At some point you have to learn how to manage time effectively and put the shit down.
Keep improving on the language skills and things will open up more. I hope to see a fresher mastersheet from you and Fortis in the next few years. You young bucks should collab on one.
Quote: (05-12-2016 01:35 AM)infinitejest Wrote:
Quote: (05-10-2016 02:08 PM)TravelerKai Wrote:
Glorious first post!! Please do mind yourself here at RVF so that you can stick around for a long time. This is good feedback that is often times needed from fresh new blood.
As for things in your post:
1. Quality will improve based mostly on two things: Cultural knowledge mixed with game and language skills. There are some other alternatives but that would take all day long to breakdown and I have done it in this thread in scattered posts. (eg. Business circle game, advanced WeiBo Model hunting, actual wife hunting (girls act different when they see you playing for keeps), better marriage age (27-38), etc...)
2. That chick that was having a dinner with her boss is trying to climb the ladder guanxi style, which isn't really designed for women (China is a man's world). 3 types of women like this (Good Girls, Semi-Bad, and Bad). Semi Bad and Bad will do the drink baijiu and fuck the boss or bosses to varying degrees. The only way to practically stop the first two from doing this or even getting to the point to where these choices are given to them, is for a top-notch boyfriend/fiancee that can rescue them from that lifestyle. Bad girls don't give a shit. They are extremely opportunistic and take the best offers from the best man/men. Govt (The CCP) working women don't have this pressure as bad as private in many ways, but some stories are out there saying the same stuff too. Basically your takeaway is that you were either too slow to get serious or your game is not good enough to make her ice those ambitions enough to spend time with you. I will be honest with you guys for a bit. My wife is the only one I ever bothered to pull away from that world. I let all the others do whatever they wanted because I did not give a shit. Choose wisely or NEXT!!
3. The phone addiction does suck and is rampant there. It is what it is. Still better than chasing old MILFS and GILFS that won't touch the phones hardly, even if they are not all that bad looking. There is just too much freshness out there. It's something we all gotta get used to everywhere, girls included. At some point you have to learn how to manage time effectively and put the shit down.
Keep improving on the language skills and things will open up more. I hope to see a fresher mastersheet from you and Fortis in the next few years. You young bucks should collab on one.
My Chinese friend recommended I give it one more shot, so I sent her an emotional appeal. Although she's a bit older than me, I foolishly took her word when she said 30 was a good age for marriage over dinner. Lo and behold as we text, she says "I think maybe we are not good fit. In China date means you have the aim to marry someone. But I have to force you to do this?" Heh, she's right in that regard. Maybe had I acted quicker we could have had more time together, but I think it would have eventually come to this question anyway. I suppose I shouldn't fret about it too much, as I've still got other girls around, but there's always still a sense of genuine disappointment when you realize you miscalculated and lost something good.
Quote: (05-12-2016 02:05 AM)Fortis Wrote:
Hey man,
I like your first post. good stuff.
About the bolded stuff:
Hey, how old are you? Honestly, I would avoid the 30-year-old chicks for anything other than ONS. Unfortunately, many of them have been driven nuts by all the heckling they get from their friends and family members for not being married.
I'm black, so your mileage may vary given that you're half-chinese, but hear me out:
I find that they're definitely more suspicious of you and your motives from the get go. They might bang you and then ditch you so that they won't be reminded of the fact that a young foreigner is most likely not marrying them.
I've had this happen to me a few times. Now, that's all good and fine since I don't want to be in an LTR in China with a girl older than me.
I know it's difficult, but I would aim a bit lower (try 18-20) and work from there. Younger girls generally have fewer hang-ups because they haven't been henpecked to death by their mothers about marriage and are easier to get along with. They also are a bit more accepting of westerners in general because they've been consuming our media so they know a bit more about us.
Ask your Chinese friend what he thinks about older chicks. Those guys can be VERY red pill about that sort of thing. One of my American coworkers got engaged to a 40+ year-old single mom divorcee after one month of dating her. This is whatever (someone has to do it and it sure as fuck won't be me), except for one thing--he's 35.
When my Chinese coworker overheard this, he said to the American guy:
"You realize you can get a younger, purer wife with no kids, no emotional issues and less drama, right? In China, it is expected that a man will take a younger wife and not a leftover wife."
He was 100% serious and he's 100% correct and this also applies to dating and ONS. Whenever I've gone for chicks around my age (27) they tend to be a lot more annoying than girls who are in the 18-20-year-old range. I know of multiple foreigners who are married here and they all say the same thing, avoid anything serious with the older chicks. This is coming from 8+ year china veterans and such, so it's good advice to stick to. When in doubt, always go younger.
As far as quality goes, depending on your tastes, I think it's easier to get girls here who fit your quality needs than it might be back home. I like girls who are taller and have a decent ass. Most Chinese guys love super thin and tall girls and absolutely won't compete with me for those types of girls.
I would also screen chicks for money. I know that sounds fucked up, but the girls who come from money are a lot more open to foreigners (at least in my experience) than girls who come from a rural background. It's no surprise that my current GF comes from some degree of money in her province. The other reason you screen for money here is because the educated class here is (you guessed it) more accepting of laowai than the poorer people.
Anyway, I'm rambling, but nice to have you on the forum. Good luck out there.
Quote: (05-18-2016 08:25 AM)Arado Wrote:
Anyone figure out how to get to the 9s and 10s? Was chatting with my friend today and he said he noticed all the foreigners end up either 6-7, some 8s. They never get the 9s because either the 9/10s don't need to both learning English since they don't need to, and if they did their social circles are too removed from foreigner groupies.
A couple months back I got the wechat of a TV presenter but we've never been able to meet up - she didn't speak any English so it was my Chinese that gained her interest. We met at a business event though I'm sure there are more of those out there.
Quote: (05-18-2016 03:21 PM)ovloV Wrote:
If you're trying to get a Chinese 9 or 10 in China, you better be able to do more than just speak Chinese. Speaking Chinese is not some awesome DHV. A scrub speaking Chinese is still a scrub. The easier thing to do by far is to grab a girl who meets your requirements for being a 9 and also happens to be a migrant worker. They exist, but they are harder to find because you won't be where they are. Despite the utter contempt for Nongs, they can be incredibly cute, feminine, sweet, appreciative, and don't have a bunch of baller Chinese guys fighting over them. One of my business partners now did just that, he married a migrant who was working at a hotel he was staying at, she doesn't have the right household registration, never went to college, hardly went to high school, family is broke, no high value Chinese guy wants her, but all those things don't matter much to Western guys.
Quote: (05-18-2016 03:43 PM)TravelerKai Wrote:
Quote: (05-18-2016 03:21 PM)ovloV Wrote:
If you're trying to get a Chinese 9 or 10 in China, you better be able to do more than just speak Chinese. Speaking Chinese is not some awesome DHV. A scrub speaking Chinese is still a scrub. The easier thing to do by far is to grab a girl who meets your requirements for being a 9 and also happens to be a migrant worker. They exist, but they are harder to find because you won't be where they are. Despite the utter contempt for Nongs, they can be incredibly cute, feminine, sweet, appreciative, and don't have a bunch of baller Chinese guys fighting over them. One of my business partners now did just that, he married a migrant who was working at a hotel he was staying at, she doesn't have the right household registration, never went to college, hardly went to high school, family is broke, no high value Chinese guy wants her, but all those things don't matter much to Western guys.
That works well too, but the poorer the girls are, the more cultural knowledge you will need to know to deal with their bullshit, like more than your actual Mandarin skills. It will almost always be revolving around making arrangements as well. More shit tests in general to deal with as well.
The worst girlfriends I have ever had in China made 2000rmb a month or less. One was a legit nine but she drove me absolutely nuts. Even after I dumped her she was a pain in my ass for a bit. That's why I never recommend poor girls. A 2 or 3 year college girl is a sweet spot because they are not overly superstitious and silly, but more reasonable and practical. I dated one in the military that was better than the poor ones. At least she kept it 100 with me about anything she thought about.