[Moto]

This is the second time, in a two-month period, that a now-married ex-girlfriend (or ex-semi-serious-fuckbuddy in one case) has sent me a friend request on facebook. I don't know what the hell is the point of it. Either whorish or attention-whorish for sure.

It seems to be connected to my moving abroad.

I know others have talked about exes getting back in touch, I even commented on that thread. But I am talking specifically about exes who are now married, and through the medium of facebook.

Has anyone else experienced this pattern of behavior?

[WilliamShatnersEgo]

I've had married ex's maintain contact with me, telling me they still love me, etc. Attention whore M.O. If they don't want to fuck simply cut them loose ruthlessly by telling them they are now good for only one thing and if she won't fuck then to find her validation elsewhere.

[Dr. Howard]

I have also experienced this pattern, its part of the reason I got off of facebook. Here are the categories I would place my experiences in:

1. Romance novel attention seeker: I moved abroad and did a number of different things and these type of former girlfriends seemed to be really interested in the fact that I moved far away as it fit into some sort of fantasy of theirs; like if they hated their life they could just drop everything and come to live with me in a far off land and forget their former married drudgery. That sort of fantasy isn't possible if I just lived the next town over, it had to be an exotic and distant destination. I don't think there was any real risk to their marriage beyond it being disrespectful to their husbands and reading too much eat pray love. These girls don't 'want' to cheat but do want to push the envelope and will cross that line if guided to it. Ie: months of flirting online followed by an announcement that you are coming back to town and that you two should meet up for drinks.

2. Reminiscence seeker: These chicks are curious about what happened to all of their previous boyfriends to see if they made a smart choice with their current husband. Ie, did you age well, make lots of money, become famous or live some other fabulous lifestyle. This sort of comparison can only serve to make them unhappy in their marriage even if they aren't intent on that outcome.

3. Adultery seeker: Legitimately looking to cheat on the husband. This can be discerned more by what they are posting and writing, ie..spending lots of time at the gym/making themselves over, posting slutty selfies, etc etc. Also goes along with 'when are you coming back to town, how long for etc'

All of these things are trouble to be involved with, so much extra investment and fuckery when younger single women and the divorced peers of these married chicks can be had for a text, netflix and 2 cheap beers. I found it to be a huge energy and time suck indulging these women.

[TravelerKai]

Most women want what they cannot have.

[Dr. Howard]

(07-23-2014 04:04 PM)TravelerKai Wrote:  

Most women want what they cannot have.

this is a better was to articulate what I was writing. Living far away makes the OP even more impossible than if he lived down the street, and thus that much more attractive for the daydreaming wife.

[Parlay44]

Get their number and take the conversation off facebook as soon as you can.
You invite them out for drinks to "catch up" and treat it like any other date.
You try to escalate and if it goes south you cut them loose. No biggie.

[AnonymousBosch]

Simply: their lives are lacking drama, and they're trying to use you to generate a sense of it in their lives.

I don't see the point of banging old girlfriends, because the reality of the wall means I'll always be disappointed that they've degraded from what they once were, especially when I could be focusing on a different woman at the peak of her beauty.