[thegiant]

This took place over the span of a couple hours last night.

Needless to say I got pretty emotional, and I said a ton of lame beta shit. Or maybe I was being too much of an alpha asshole? At this point I don't know anymore. Obviously no one broke up with anyone, but I also don't feel like I got what I wanted. All I wanted was an apology. I feel like my frame is fucked with her now.

Please critique my game as brutally as you want, and let me know what I should've said instead.

   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

(this is part 1, part 2 below)

[thegiant]

   
   
   
   
   
   
   

[Kimber]

lemme get this straight, you got shitty at her cause she said she was tired, said she was going to bed and then liked a video on facebook?

[little wing]

TLDR;

I read through the first few texts but wasn't in the mood to read the rest.
Bottom line is don't get in fights over petty bullshit.
It shows you give a fuck

[thegiant]

We were talking on the phone and she said in a pretty rude cute off manner "k I'm tired, gonna go to bed" and hung up on me. Then an hour later she posted some dumb video on Facebook. Yea it kinda annoyed me. It obviously didn't have to escalate like it did. It escalated after I told her "don't get so comfortable". What I meant was you can't hang up on me and tell me you're going to sleep when I wasn't done talking to you and then you don't even sleep. I find that disrespectful. Maybe it's just me.

[thegiant]

Wing, obviously I give a fuck. We've been in an LTR for a year.

[Kimber]

to be honest dude, i would've had the same reaction as you, at first. But..
have you ever done anything like that? I've often made up excuses like, i gotta go take shit, or i gotta go to the store, or i gotta go - the front door's ringing, when in actual fact im just bored of talking. She probably lied because she didn't want YOU to feel bad, good for her for having your best interests at heart. Or maybe she said she gotta go because there was a knock at her door and some dude came over to give her a late night protein snack.
You decided how you reacted. Are you happy with it? How do you think you should have reacted?

[Truth Teller]

This comes from my limited experience, but I would've simply said "goodnight" and gone silent.

The fact that you dignify most of this bullshit with a response shows that your boundaries are less than firm.

[Days of Broken Arrows]

(06-18-2014 06:15 PM)thegiant Wrote:  

We were talking on the phone and she said in a pretty rude cute off manner "k I'm tired, gonna go to bed" and hung up on me. Then an hour later she posted some dumb video on Facebook. Yea it kinda annoyed me. It obviously didn't have to escalate like it did. It escalated after I told her "don't get so comfortable". What I meant was you can't hang up on me and tell me you're going to sleep when I wasn't done talking to you and then you don't even sleep. I find that disrespectful. Maybe it's just me.

I'm not taking her side here, but in more than one case I've done something similar. I've told a girl I need to sleep, then found I wasn't tired and/or couldn't sleep, and starting screwing around on Facebook. OR...I meant to sleep but got distracted on Facebook or YouTube, or somewhere.

Her behavior doesn't seem malicious. It seems like you picked a fight because of your pride. That said, my dad behaves like this and he's been with my mother since the dawn of time, so there is a breed of woman who interprets this kind of thing as caring, in some odd way.

I used to feel like this too from ages 18-25. Nowadays it's the opposite: I pray for women not to bug me too much with calls, emails, etc. I think "Doesn't she have a TV show she could be watching or something?"

[ThePrinceOfDixie]

You should probably cut your losses on her. If your having these kinds of fights their is a good chance she has begun to loss interest. I read through the script and you really threw a big hissy fit about nothing. Your attempts to over correct with attitude likely came off as needy.

For future reference you should put this kinda stuff in the newbie forum or at least a thread about text game. Putting stuff like this in the game thread with a sensational title will not earn you respect with Tuth, Roosh, or any of the senior members.

[Christian McQueen]

[Frank]

If I was that annoyed (about whatever), I would have expressed my dislike, and/or "punished" (less attention + affection) her for it somehow. Would have left it at that. I don't see why arguing with a woman is going to be helpful, unless I *want* her to get more emotional, and if I actually want bullshit to deal with (ha, ha).

I am learning to let go.

[kmhour]

I got bored about halfway through but you're way too invested. you said "don't treat me poorly" and then got into an absurdly drawn out tit for tat battle where she... treated you poorly. if you're going to be dumb enough to be drawn into that kind of argument, be smart enough to set the hook and then pull radio silence. the perfect moment was when she started commanding you to answer the phone.

preferably followed by a day or two of phone problems rendering you incommunicado, since you have next to no hand here.

[thegiant]

This isn't about Facebook, this is about frame. She just doesn't seem willing to let a man be a man. She obviously has to have a response to everything I say and insists on having the last word. Or maybe I just wasn't saying the right things that could've turned this around. She can be very caring and subordinate sometimes (which is largely why I stick around), but then she goes and does this kinda shit.

[thegiant]

Kmhour you're so right. That's exactly what I should've done. Thanks

Thanks guys, lots of solid feedback here. I guess there wasn't any magical thing I could've said midway to get her to do what I want

[Ethan Amarante]

I'd say as a general rule, it's far better to have these conversations in person or, failing that, over the phone. You invest a lot more effort than I think you should by typing it all up and she may very well be pleased in some weird way for getting a reaction out of you, which may have been the original intention with her uploading the video.

Secondly, and please don't take this the wrong way - I'm only saying it because you asked people to be brutally honest - isn't it better to avoid text speak? Typing in full sentences seems a lot more mature and "alpha" to me, for want of a better expression.

Also, what's a 'gnit'?

[Christian McQueen]

"Typing in full sentences seems a lot more mature and "alpha" to me"

It's not.

Try this out.

Go get 20 girls numbers.

Then text them with perfect grammar, punctuation and capitalization.

See how many dates you get.

Then go get 20 more numbers and use short text speak texts.

See how many dates you get.

[thegiant]

Ethan, thanks! Gnit is text speak for good night. I agree it seems like too much effort, but I wasn't doing anything so I guess I didn't see it that way.

Christian: Your new article definitely hit me where it hurts, cuz I obviously have way too many expectations with this girl. What would you have done differently? (Provided it is an actual LTR that you care about, notwithstanding abundance mentality/willingness to walk out)

[Ethan Amarante]

(06-18-2014 06:52 PM)Christian McQueen Wrote:  

"Typing in full sentences seems a lot more mature and "alpha" to me"

It's not.

Try this out.

Go get 20 girls numbers.

Then text them with perfect grammar, punctuation and capitalization.

See how many dates you get.

Then go get 20 more numbers and use short text speak texts.

See how many dates you get.

I'm not saying you're necessarily incorrect, but that's far from my experience. Having said that, it might have something to do with my general appeal being linked to my career and a general perfectionism.

Also, imagine comparing the SMS messages of a prince and a pauper - who's more likely to use text speak? Does that tell you something?

[kaotic]

Yeah this felt dragged out and you let your emotions get the best of you man. "That's how u sleep huh?" (You lost your frame right there) You didn't take time to breathe and look at it from a 3rd person point of view.

You'll never win on petty fights or serious ones. The woman will NOT accept the blame and will deflect. The woman will NOT lose the fight, even if you're right. Yes you're invested in a LTR with her but still, you're letting her get the best of you, and she's getting off to this.

Women crave drama, she even threw in a joke at the end.

The less I text a woman the better, FB ruins relationships.

You've done nothing but show that a FB post will piss you off. Imagine if she does something worse, she knows how to push your buttons now.

[thegiant]

Yup kaotic, women fucking love drama. Especially hot ones. I just feel like when a girl feels like she's allowed to talk back to me, I have no frame with her. I can't imagine a girl ever talking back to a Christian McQueen. There's gotta be a subtle difference in the choice of words I use vs what experienced players would've said. I absolutely agree that provoking fights over small shit doesn't make sense, that's my own fault. Like I said, I didn't expect it to escalate like it did. She blew it way out of proportions. When she wanted me to pick up the phone she called 20(!) times.

[RockHard]

(06-18-2014 07:11 PM)thegiant Wrote:  

Yup kaotic, women fucking love drama. Especially hot ones. I just feel like when a girl feels like she's allowed to talk back to me, I have no frame with her. I can't imagine a girl ever talking back to a Christian McQueen. There's gotta be a subtle difference in the choice of words I use vs what experienced players would've said. I absolutely agree that provoking fights over small shit doesn't make sense, that's my own fault. Like I said, I didn't expect it to escalate like it did. She blew it way out of proportions. When she wanted me to pick up the phone she called 20(!) times.

I'm just going to throw something out there. She mentioned respect, not feeling respected, a bunch of times. What does that mean?

[kinjutsu]

I used to pull this shit all the time.
You have the situation backwards. She should be begging you to stay on the phone and talk longer.

Contact her less, alot less in general.

You can't lose frame with a girl in a LTR. After 6 months all the shiny stuff wears off and she's looking for reasons to stay or reasons to leave. That entire text exchange was giving her reasons to leave.

Every single text you send to a girl you have fucked, want to fuck, or wants to fuck you should pass the jumbotron test. A LTR is no exception.
I've screwed up many relationships with girls by not following this rule.

In the future if it bothers you that much that she did that speak to her in person about it. Calmly bring it up to her. Tell you don't tolerate lying and dishonesty. If it continues then its over.
That'll tell you the type of woman you have at this point.
Is she apologetic or does she have a spiteful look in her eye.

If she's spiteful, drop her. There will be more bs in the future.

[kaotic]

(06-18-2014 07:11 PM)thegiant Wrote:  

Yup kaotic, women fucking love drama. Especially hot ones. I just feel like when a girl feels like she's allowed to talk back to me, I have no frame with her. I can't imagine a girl ever talking back to a Christian McQueen. There's gotta be a subtle difference in the choice of words I use vs what experienced players would've said. I absolutely agree that provoking fights over small shit doesn't make sense, that's my own fault. Like I said, I didn't expect it to escalate like it did. She blew it way out of proportions. When she wanted me to pick up the phone she called 20(!) times.

By showing your emotions (anger at her post) you're feeding her.

Well first off that subtle difference is not showing anger towards her. I personally wouldn't have said anything about it, because:

1. I don't care. 2. I've got better things to do besides creep my girls FB (no offense). and 3. I've got other girls to hangout with. (ex. I've been banging this girl since Jan, I haven't adder her on FB and she's not a big fan of IG) we don't creep eachother.

If she's really annoying, cut her off and find a woman that wont do that. Always have a hold of your emotions. But the positivity in this: she showed who she really is and how nasty she can be.

I'd personally go radio silent on her, have her crawl back to you. Set the terms of the relationship (of course have girls ready at the hand as well).

If not, next her.

[Matt3B]

If you're gonna switch at a girl, do it to her face not by text message. Fucking hell.

Girls are pussies most of the time and will react to a strong male because they get scared and threatened IN PERSON. Behind the luxury of their mobile phones or laptops, they're the strongest people on the planet.

You wasted your time massively typing all that shit out. You came across as massively butt hurt.

"She just doesn't seem willing to let a man be a man."

Judging by what I've seen here, are you actually being a man? I think you need to look inwardly.