[bacan]

http://www.thedatereport.com/dating/advi...-fabulous/

Is being single a luxury that women are enjoying or an undesirable outcome due to the lack of marriage-worthy men?

"We still don’t really know how to talk about single women in our culture. In decades past, they were lonely spinsters, quietly languishing in their studio apartments. Later, they became hollow careerists who paid too high a price for their ambition. Then, sometime in the late 1990s, society awakened to the fact that actually a lot of unmarried women were having a pretty great time and were in no rush to marry now or maybe ever."

"In a 2011 Atlantic essay, Kate Bolick did a nice job of presenting a more accurate and nuanced portrait of today’s single women, describing mature, independent professionals who, either by choice or circumstance, happened to not be married. But she also attributed the growing ranks of unmarried women to a rather grim cause—the lack of marriage-worthy men—explaining that women’s educational and economic gains are creating a “new scarcity” of male peers.
[Yes, because we all know finding a "peer" in terms of age, income and education level is a big turn on for a 32 year old guy in the prime of his career..]

"I see this trend in a far more positive light—women are delaying and forgoing marriage because they can. In generations past, the 28-year-old who walked away from a stable-but-uninspired relationship was putting not just her happiness but also her very survival at risk. But now that women no longer have to depend on men for financial support, we are enjoying a historically unprecedented luxury: to hold out for the right relationship, or to not have one at all.

What was once a state defined in the negative—unmarried—now has become a life choice that gives women power: to own your own home, to navigate foreign countries alone, to have a child on your own. The power to leave a mediocre relationship, to freeze your eggs, to ignore the societal pressure—still very present—to just get married already."

Interesting to read this stuff from a perspective of an article written by a woman for women. Just another data point in the long list of examples of the direction society is going.

Women are a lot better off for not needing to marry out of financial necessity, but maybe with all the choices they have and with humans natural tendency to be short-sighted, they will end up regretting their choices.

I am interested to see how many women remain unmarried and childless and end up being happier off for it or not. I know a lot of girls in my life and social circle that are running the risk of missing out on their chances to have a family. I know we use the same caricatures of cat ladies, but there is a lot of middle ground options for women too. Maybe they will only be able to lock up commitment from a one in a million type guy if they commit at a young age without riding the carousel as we say, but there are always opportunities for women to pair up with someone as long as they lower their expectations--maybe a guy who has gone through a divorce, already has a kid, is not the prince charming she previously hoped to marry, etc.

However, no matter how you slice it, the bottom of the barrel male is the undisputed loser in this whole deal--as we have been discussing non-stop since the Isla Vista PUAhate killings. The poor guy.. he's born with a deep-seated biological desire for sexual relations with a population of women who are now enjoying the historically unprecedented luxury of having no use for him, financially or otherwise.


The articles it links below have some pretty funny titles and probably some interesting content to understand the mindsets of late 20s and 30s single women:

The Seemingly Harmless Question You Should Stop Asking Single People
The 8 Stages of Being the Only Single Friend
15 Perks to Being Single and Dating
“When Are You Gonna Put a Ring On It?” A Rant Against Engagement Nagging
16 Excellent Retorts to the Question, “Why Are You Still Single?”
5 Perfectly Good Reasons You Might Be Single
Tips for Single Women from 1938
In Defense Of Being A “Cat Lady”
There’s No Good Female Equivalent for the Word “Bachelor.” Let’s Fix That.
The 9 Most Annoying Things To Say To A Single Person
The Top 5 Times It’s So Good to Be Single

[Que enspastic]

Men can do this too.

It's hardly a luxury in the modern age - unless you compare it to women who had to marry in the past or starve on the streets instead.

[bacan]

It is a new luxury of choice that women have compared to just a few generations ago -- our grandmothers did not have the luxury of remaining single both due to much more limited financial opportunities and much more severe social stigma.

[tarquin]

There is social stigma, they just don't realize it until they hit the wall and nobody treats them the same anymore.

[Dismal Operator]

It's only a luxury for women who literally have zero interest in having children and never ever in a million years will feel the slightest bit of regret.

[bacan]

The "All the single ladies" article is probably better.
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/arch...es/308654/

She writes this about the wage gap so you know she doesn't have some feminist agenda:
"In 2008, women still earned just 77 cents to the male dollar—but that figure doesn’t account for the difference in hours worked, or the fact that women tend to choose lower-paying fields like nursing or education. A 2010 study of single, childless urban workers between the ages of 22 and 30 found that the women actually earned 8 percent more than the men. Women are also more likely than men to go to college: in 2010, 55 percent of all college graduates ages 25 to 29 were female."

[player]

Young women in the West are an absolute lost cause today. You-go-girlism has infected the lot. The Paradox of Declining Female Happiness is going to get more and more confusing to the social scientists who stupidly think that women behaving like men should make them happy. The Western birth rate will continue dropping, and female happiness will plummet to new lows - providing excellent opportunities to profit from their misery.

Feminists will reap what they sow.

[bacan]

I really like the atlantic article: "One of Walsh’s pet observations pertains to what she calls the “soft harem,” where high-status men (i.e., the football captain) maintain an “official” girlfriend as well as a rotating roster of neo-concubines, who service him in the barroom bathroom or wherever the beer is flowing. “There used to be more assortative mating,” she explained, “where a five would date a five. But now every woman who is a six and above wants the hottest guy on campus, and she can have him—for one night.”

[cardguy]

I wonder what bought about this change?

I think it is celeb culture infecting the minds of chicks. And the relaxing of morals around sex.

As such - every chick who is average looking or above wants a crack at the hottest guys. In the hope that one night with them will magically turn into a relationship that lasts a lifetime.

[Days of Broken Arrows]

(06-02-2014 02:36 PM)Dismal Operator Wrote:  

It's only a luxury for women who literally have zero interest in having children and never ever in a million years will feel the slightest bit of regret.

And building on that, most women want children like men want sex. Just because the writer here is an outlier who preferred a career to family life (she got married when she was 39), she assumes that's a "luxury" for other women.

But if you told most women they'd be in an office from age 22-39 with no husband or kids in sight, I don't think most would call that a luxury. That's staring down two decades of the office grind waiting for a Mr. Right who might or might not come along. For most women, I'd venture to say that's more like slow torture.

[Mormon Nailer]

(06-02-2014 03:00 PM)bacan Wrote:  

I really like the atlantic article: "One of Walsh’s pet observations pertains to what she calls the “soft harem,” where high-status men (i.e., the football captain) maintain an “official” girlfriend as well as a rotating roster of neo-concubines, who service him in the barroom bathroom or wherever the beer is flowing. “There used to be more assortative mating,” she explained, “where a five would date a five. But now every woman who is a six and above wants the hottest guy on campus, and she can have him—for one night.”

Which article are you referring to?

[HeyPete]

Almost all of them get baby rabies.

One of my sister's is a great example. She meets a guy in March. I think they went to college together, but didn't know each other.

They are getting married in two weeks. She's in charge of the whole thing. The whole rush-rush. The dude is just along for the ride.

My sister, while still a woman and does womanly head-scratching shit, isn't like these careerist cunts. She fairly laid back and cool. But I know, 5 years ago and for sure 10 years ago, she wouldn't have given this guy a second look. Now he's going to be her husband.

But she's 37 and knows her time is up. She doesn't want to be pregnant while not married, thus the big rush.

[ddjembe mutombo]

(06-02-2014 03:17 PM)cardguy Wrote:  

I wonder what bought about this change?

I think it is celeb culture infecting the minds of chicks. And the relaxing of morals around sex.

As such - every chick who is average looking or above wants a crack at the hottest guys. In the hope that one night with them will magically turn into a relationship that lasts a lifetime.

It has been brewing ever since before we were born. However, social networking and online dating has caused a spike. One might think "How could the increased availability of relationships cause life-time singleness?". If you think about it, the more people one person dates, the less likely they are to "settle-down". It is a high correlation, but what is driving that correlation? It is probably a combination of availability and unrealistic expectations. Women a known to make emotional and rash decisions. If you let your girlfriend down even once, she may start contemplating entering a new relationship because of the availability of eligible men. Her fuse will grow shorter for each boyfriend she replaces. Many girls that were raised in broken homes and consumed many fairy tales and fictional TV couples will have an unrealistic expectation of their future spouse. Its a harsh reality, but I only see this trend to continue in the way it has been moving.

[cardguy]

@Hey Pete - women can be really cold-hearted when the wall is approaching. I know a few who have admited to me that they never loved their husbands - even on the wedding day.

[speakeasy]

(06-02-2014 02:50 PM)player Wrote:  

Young women in the West are an absolute lost cause today. You-go-girlism has infected the lot. The Paradox of Declining Female Happiness is going to get more and more confusing to the social scientists who stupidly think that women behaving like men should make them happy. The Western birth rate will continue dropping, and female happiness will plummet to new lows - providing excellent opportunities to profit from their misery.

Feminists will reap what they sow.

Man thinks in seconds and nature thinks in eons. Nature will eventually arc back to its historical norms. This is merely a brief aberration that was enabled by technology. Societies with our values are bound to fail because of the coming demographic winter crisis. They are not sustainable. So one of two things will happen, this population will whither away and be replaced by those with traditional values, or a scarcity of motherhood will force government to pay women to have children thus making motherhood more stable and financially lucrative than a career.

In the interim, this is going to hurt our society economically and cause more personal unhappiness(more spinsters, more incels).

[Dr. Howard]

(06-02-2014 03:44 PM)HeyPete Wrote:  

Almost all of them get baby rabies.

One of my sister's is a great example. She meets a guy in March. I think they went to college together, but didn't know each other.

They are getting married in two weeks. She's in charge of the whole thing. The whole rush-rush. The dude is just along for the ride.

My sister, while still a woman and does womanly head-scratching shit, isn't like these careerist cunts. She fairly laid back and cool. But I know, 5 years ago and for sure 10 years ago, she wouldn't have given this guy a second look. Now he's going to be her husband.

But she's 37 and knows her time is up. She doesn't want to be pregnant while not married, thus the big rush.

They exist. I dated a girl (I hesitate to use the term woman) that was 36 and baby crazy. I think this is what women mean about the late term sexual 'peak' of women. They become irrational and dick crazy trying to fertilize the last of their eggs, especially if they are single and divorced.

[BadWolf]

The best way to continue to troll these women is to marry a sweet, docile and feminine, foreign lady and any time they kick up, take a step back and reveal your secret weapon.

[ddjembe mutombo]

Thanks to Facebook, I get updates in my newsfeed about "Girl X is now in a relationship" shortly followed by "Girl X is engage" and finally followed by "Girl X is married". I'm only 26 and so most of my Facebook friends are around that age. I always thought 2-5 years was standard window for someone to meet and get married. I am seeing more and more of people going from "in a relationship" to "married" in under six months. It is pathetic seeing people disrespecting marriage like so. Let's just add another tick to the divorce counter, y'all!

[Foolsgo1d]

(06-02-2014 02:14 PM)bacan Wrote:  

http://www.thedatereport.com/dating/advi...-fabulous/

Is being single a luxury that women are enjoying or an undesirable outcome due to the lack of marriage-worthy men?

"We still don’t really know how to talk about single women in our culture. In decades past, they were lonely spinsters, quietly languishing in their studio apartments. Later, they became hollow careerists who paid too high a price for their ambition. Then, sometime in the late 1990s, society awakened to the fact that actually a lot of unmarried women were having a pretty great time and were in no rush to marry now or maybe ever."

The lack of marriage worthy men can be correlated to the evidence this board has seen about hypergamy and the majority getting scraps from the top shelf.

Society did not awaken to the fact single women were enjoying themselves, it was these same spinsters who poisoned the minds of young women to throw regular joe under a truck.

Price of pussy went up, not down as a few on RVF tend to claim for more than half of the male population and it is increased everytime a girl gets attention she does not deserve.

Example; Fatties getting attention from men who shouldn't otherwise even look at them

Quote:

"I see this trend in a far more positive light—women are delaying and forgoing marriage because they can. In generations past, the 28-year-old who walked away from a stable-but-uninspired relationship was putting not just her happiness but also her very survival at risk. But now that women no longer have to depend on men for financial support, we are enjoying a historically unprecedented luxury: to hold out for the right relationship, or to not have one at all.

Because they can is subjective. They would settle down with the guy who fucks them to within an inch of their lives but those men are rare in relationships and can easily get another women, they know this.

In generations past the nation did not have this many women in the workforce but now they do and they still get half a guys assets by default at a minimum.

With plenty of guys around, both younger and older she can afford to fuck around. I know this because I've had it off with over a dozen divorced women fresh out of it.

Quote:

What was once a state defined in the negative—unmarried—now has become a life choice that gives women power: to own your own home, to navigate foreign countries alone, to have a child on your own. The power to leave a mediocre relationship, to freeze your eggs, to ignore the societal pressure—still very present—to just get married already."

Own your own home is not empowering, you're attached to something that can shoot down in value pretty quickly or become indebted to banks for 20+ years.

Traveling countries on your own as a woman is just an excuse to sample exotic dick.

As far as I know society doesn't pressure women to get married unless they're from an ethnic background in the west. Western women still get this urge to marry because it is a day focused on her.

Quote:

Women are a lot better off for not needing to marry out of financial necessity, but maybe with all the choices they have and with humans natural tendency to be short-sighted, they will end up regretting their choices.

Then why are there millions of women below the poverty line? More than 4 million single mothers in the UK alone and they're all below the poverty line.

These women are wallet chasers.

Quote:

However, no matter how you slice it, the bottom of the barrel male is the undisputed loser in this whole deal

What is deemed bottom of the barrel these days?

It is easy to condone jobless men who are lazy but they can still get laid. So it must be the "Nice guys" and white knights who are bottom of the barrel and last time I checked a large number of men fit this category.

If only 5-10 men got laid out of 100 when matched with 100 women you are looking at some serious issues down the line.

[HeyPete]

(06-02-2014 04:00 PM)cardguy Wrote:  

@Hey Pete - women can be really cold-hearted when the wall is approaching. I know a few who have admited to me that they never loved their husbands - even on the wedding day.

I'll bet. I'm not to worried about the fella, because my sister makes a shit-load of money pushing papers around.

But he will get screwed when it comes to kids. It''ll be unpopular, but I will make sure he gets to see him/her them when the union falls apart.

It sickens me what happens to men in custody and visitation situations.

[Samseau]

women's luxury: there are no serious consequences for women

[Vitriol]

(06-02-2014 03:00 PM)bacan Wrote:  

I really like the atlantic article: "One of Walsh’s pet observations pertains to what she calls the “soft harem,” where high-status men (i.e., the football captain) maintain an “official” girlfriend as well as a rotating roster of neo-concubines, who service him in the barroom bathroom or wherever the beer is flowing. “There used to be more assortative mating,” she explained, “where a five would date a five. But now every woman who is a six and above wants the hottest guy on campus, and she can have him—for one night.”

I'm surprised that a mainstream source even acknowledged this. However, they will never go to the next logical step and realize this is the reason pretty much every society in human history has placed severe restrictions on female behavior until recently. The fact that all of these girls are getting pumped and dumped by the same guy means that a majority of women are going to be "alpha widows" who will take absolutely zero interest in 99.9% of the men they ever meet.

It's not that there's a shortage of available men (demographically there's actually a surplus of them), it's just that the women aren't interested in what's out there.

[la_mode]

It's also not seen as odd for a woman to be single, as she is "choosing" to be single.

For a man, unless he's Charlie Sheen, it's rarely seen this way. He either has no ability with women, or is closet gay. And, it's still acceptable to use the "closet gay" insult against straight men, just don't say anything to actual real gays.

A single gay man is somehow celebrated as being a "self-confident gay man". It's not like this for a straight single man past college-age.

[tomtud]

My buddy got married rather quickly, both were mid to late 30s. They got literally got separated weeks after the marriage. They were dating for less than a year etc. now he told me after he talked with the police while he was getting his belongings out of the house that for women it's better to be viewed as divorced and single in your 30s as opposed to just single. I am not sure if I agree wholeheartedly with that point, but women do get married at times knowing that it may not work so they can play the victim card or cash in.

[bacan]

The Atlantic article is all the single ladies