Quote: (05-25-2014 10:21 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:
Quote: (05-25-2014 09:48 AM)Onto Wrote:
As you've noticed women don't respond well to logic and reason. They are feeling/experience based so that's where they have to be hit in order for them to understand anything.
Which means what EXACTLY?
Take a typical scenario where the both of you want to save up for a house, but she gets the idea that you need to have a romantic getaway in Paris. And money is a concern.
Him - We can't afford Paris and getting a house
Her - Stop trying to control me!
Him - *what the fuck? Where did that come from? We weren't even talking about that*
^How do you deal with this kind of argumentative jiu-jitsu?
If you don't like my scenario, come up with your own and break it down.
WIA
There's a few fundamental flaws with this scenario which I'll address.
First off, anytime a girl introduces a straw man argument "Stop trying to control me!" then I respond with, "I will not talk to you if you're going to act childish like this. Act like an adult, and I'll speak to you like an adult." If she continues down her path of anger and indignation, separate from her. Go hang out with your friends or do something you enjoy. The best way I've found to deal with an angry woman is let her stew in her own emotions. Once she simmers down she'll achieve some semblance of clarity and see how she was wrong. If she tries to get you to take some accountability, refuse. Tell her you'll talk to her once she can be an adult. If she can't, ditch her immediately. If she pulls these episodes more than once every few months, ditch her immediately. It's good to get a fiery woman, you don't want a doormat, but there's a fine line there. If it's a regular occurrence, ditch her immediately.
You'll find that's my solution to a lot of problems by the way (ditching her). You'd be surprised how well it works. If you're not willing to walk away from any woman, you have no business being in a relationship.
Next, the issue of finances.
Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever share you finances with a female. Never. Repeat that to yourself outloud. Not for a house, not for anything. If you can't afford a house by yourself, don't get one. You want a scenario when a woman is living under YOUR roof, by YOUR rules of the household. If that's not the case, then you do not move in with her.
That said, I recently decided to share my finances with my gf. Want to know how I did it?
Her paychecks now go straight to my bank account through direct deposit. She closed her own checking account. Everything she makes goes to me. I issued her a credit card from my credit account with a monthly $1000 spending limit. Basically, I control our finances. In return for that, she doesn't look at rent or bills. She understands that I look at every credit card statement and that if she abuses the card, I'll revoke it from her and give her a cash spending allowance instead.
If your girl isn't willing to do this, then you do not share your finances. Not one penny.
Next, the concept of the necessities of romance i.e. the trip to Paris, the wedding ring, the wedding, the this, the that. All the shit that she's been brainwashed that she's entitled to. Well, that is something that should be addressed throughout the course of your relationship to reinforce the understanding that because she's with you, she's going to have to do WITHOUT those things. If she wants a sugardaddy, she needs to find someone else. There are days when I wake up, staring at the ceiling pensively, and my girl asks me, "What are you thinking?"
"I was just thinking about how diamond rings are a completely corporate invention geared at establishing false scarcity thereby increasing the value of the product they happen to have a monopoly on. I was also thinking how men never got down on one knee to propose until very recently. Did you know that?"
Over months and years, your girl will get the hint and start to understand you better. She'll understand that you're different from all the other guys, that you don't supplicate or bend to her will, and that you see things very very differently. She'll either be on board with the program, or she'll leave, both of which are advantageous to you. This is a filtering process of finding a traditional girl that wants a dominant man in her life, and leaving behind the entitled independent cunts to ride the carousel for the rest of her cat-riddled life.
She will need to understand what it means to be a life partner. She'll need to understand that in this modern world, the concept of marriage is outdated. She'll need to understand the importance of your independence and she'll be happy to have such a dominant man that provides structure to her life.
In exchange for all this, you should be fair. You should give her the attention that she needs and fuck her plenty as well. Do take her on dates that are more thoughtful than expensive. Do open up to her and show her a side of you that you don't expose very often. The only compromise that you should be engaging in is admitting when you've slacked off in your responsibilities in the relationship. Despite everything I've written above, relationships are still work. The bulk of the work should consist of giving your girl the attention she needs. If you have been neglecting her for work or other activities, then your compromise consists of, "Baby, I know I've been neglecting you and as soon as I get some more free time then I'm all yours."
If you value your time and freedom as your greatest asset, then she will too, and she will appreciate you giving that to her instead of superficial garbage like trips to Paris or expensive jewelry. If she doesn't, ditch her.
Speaking of Paris, my girl met me there for a few days on my last trip. She paid her own ticket and half the room fees while she was there. We did the touristy thing and went to the Eiffel tower and there were guys on their knees giving flowers to girls and shit. On multiple occasions when she sees stuff like that she'll turn to me and say, "Thank you for not being like that."
It's a matter of a few things:
1) Bend the sapling while it's young
2) Find the right girl
3) Be brutally honest. Speak your mind.
4) Be attentive. Pay attention to her
5) Take time to yourself. Be independent. Set boundaries and limits
6) Always call her on her bullshit. Call her a child when she's acting like one. Be firm.
If you take the above into account, there is no argumentative jiu-jitsu. There is no winning any argument, ever. If it's gotten to the argument phase, your top priority is getting out of the argument, which may require you just leave. Tell her, "I'm very upset at you right now, and rather than say things that would hurt you, I'm going to take some time to myself to think things over. I suggest you do the same." This is a much better recourse.