Plus one what carlos100 said.
Friends Girl coming onto me...
If your good, longtime buddies, no question you should tell him. If the texts from her keep up and you continue to play it off and ignore it, the more and more bitter she'll become that your not validating her with your dick and the better chance she tells him that it was you who initiated things with her. The longer you let it go the worse it looks and the more antsy she'll be to get back at you out of spite. She obviously doesn't have much to lose in doing so as she doesn't seem to care about her bf too much.
Nip it in the butt, and shame her relentlessly. You and your buddy will both be better off.
Nip it in the butt, and shame her relentlessly. You and your buddy will both be better off.
I think I'm just going to ignore it and let it die down, then tell him when they rbeak up, so he understands she wasn't anything special. Also, if she keeps at it, I'll tell him.
Ultimately as Onto said he probably subconsciously knows anyway. She flirts a lot with other guys, and when he first started getting with her, she 'cheated' (it wasn't really exclusive yet, but was in bad taste) on him. At the moment I think he'd prefer not to be told and keep getting pussy than get told. (I think he lost his virginity with her as well)
If that makes him sound beta, understand that my school has 2/3 guys 1/3 girls, and the 'cool' group is like 1/4 girls, so most guys have an extreme scarcity mindset and want to hold onto any pussy they can get.
Ultimately as Onto said he probably subconsciously knows anyway. She flirts a lot with other guys, and when he first started getting with her, she 'cheated' (it wasn't really exclusive yet, but was in bad taste) on him. At the moment I think he'd prefer not to be told and keep getting pussy than get told. (I think he lost his virginity with her as well)
If that makes him sound beta, understand that my school has 2/3 guys 1/3 girls, and the 'cool' group is like 1/4 girls, so most guys have an extreme scarcity mindset and want to hold onto any pussy they can get.
Quote: (05-11-2014 07:49 AM)Cyr Wrote:better for him to find out know when he's not as invested rather than later
I think I'm just going to ignore it and let it die down, then tell him when they rbeak up, so he understands she wasn't anything special. Also, if she keeps at it, I'll tell him.
Ultimately as Onto said he probably subconsciously knows anyway. She flirts a lot with other guys, and when he first started getting with her, she 'cheated' (it wasn't really exclusive yet, but was in bad taste) on him. At the moment I think he'd prefer not to be told and keep getting pussy than get told. (I think he lost his virginity with her as well)
If that makes him sound beta, understand that my school has 2/3 guys 1/3 girls, and the 'cool' group is like 1/4 girls, so most guys have an extreme scarcity mindset and want to hold onto any pussy they can get.
short term pain for long term gain
Quote: (05-11-2014 07:49 AM)Cyr Wrote:
I think I'm just going to ignore it and let it die down, then tell him when they rbeak up, so he understands she wasn't anything special. Also, if she keeps at it, I'll tell him.
Ultimately as Onto said he probably subconsciously knows anyway. She flirts a lot with other guys, and when he first started getting with her, she 'cheated' (it wasn't really exclusive yet, but was in bad taste) on him. At the moment I think he'd prefer not to be told and keep getting pussy than get told. (I think he lost his virginity with her as well)
If that makes him sound beta, understand that my school has 2/3 guys 1/3 girls, and the 'cool' group is like 1/4 girls, so most guys have an extreme scarcity mindset and want to hold onto any pussy they can get.
When they eventually break up, I wouldn't tell him about her coming on to you. It really won't serve any purpose other than showing you are preferred over him by his sweetheart.
I understand you won't mean it in that way, but I think he would feel that way regardless and he "may" even blame you at that point for not saying something earlier.
As I said, the best thing is probably to not get involved in any kind of way, now or later.
Let him work through whatever pain he'll have in his own way. Be there to help him as any friend in normal circumstances would. Instead of helping him by trashing her, build him up, make him see his good qualities and realize that once in college there will be an abundance do women way better than this girl and she is throwing away, as most girls do, a great guy. Her loss and really, though it won't feel that way at the moment, his gain.
Love is like having the flu, the only real cure is time.
The painful ending part of relationships teach us just as much, maybe more, than the bliss.
Unless this guy is barely a friend, I personally think you made the wrong choice.
You and her essentially have a secret from him now. That's a lot worse than just knowing his girl is a slut.
And given her behavior so far, I'd say she's probably not going to let up.
Good to know.
You and her essentially have a secret from him now. That's a lot worse than just knowing his girl is a slut.
And given her behavior so far, I'd say she's probably not going to let up.
Quote: (05-10-2014 10:56 AM)earless Wrote:
honestly i would fuck her.
Good to know.
Beyond All Seas
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
Quote: (05-11-2014 05:30 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:
Unless this guy is barely a friend, I personally think you made the wrong choice.
You and her essentially have a secret from him now. That's a lot worse than just knowing his girl is a slut.
And given her behavior so far, I'd say she's probably not going to let up.
Quote: (05-10-2014 10:56 AM)earless Wrote:
honestly i would fuck her.
Good to know.
BB makes a good point here.
One thing for sure, this girl gets off on destroying men. Imagine if he ended up marrying her, or getting her pregnant?
Your friend may hate you for bursting his bubble, but if he's smart he'll thank you for it, if not, you can take comfort you were the best possible friend you could be for him.
BB makes Onto change his mind, and not for the first time.
I agree with all the guys who say tell your friend.
We all learn game here so we can get the girls on our own merits - not to get leftovers from our friends.
Never let a woman come between you and a friend. Truly good friends are harder to come by than bad girls.
Wald
We all learn game here so we can get the girls on our own merits - not to get leftovers from our friends.
Never let a woman come between you and a friend. Truly good friends are harder to come by than bad girls.
Wald
Tell him. Don't let him get involved more seriously with a cunt like that. As someone wrote above, bros before hos.
Here is what I would do assuming he is a close friend that you want to protect.
Call him and tell him what happened. Calm and respectfully. Then text her and tell her to come to you place for an hour. Tell her you have something to show her wink wink.
Ask him to wait in the bedroom. When she arrives take her by the hand and lead her into the bedroom. No talk. No kiss. Close the door. Let her confront him head on. No screaming of shouting. Just embarrassment. Then after she had died let her go and you and your friend go out and get pissed and find two better class girls.
Call him and tell him what happened. Calm and respectfully. Then text her and tell her to come to you place for an hour. Tell her you have something to show her wink wink.
Ask him to wait in the bedroom. When she arrives take her by the hand and lead her into the bedroom. No talk. No kiss. Close the door. Let her confront him head on. No screaming of shouting. Just embarrassment. Then after she had died let her go and you and your friend go out and get pissed and find two better class girls.
A good friend of mine told me once he saw my girl (at the time) kissing another dude in a club. I'm very grateful he told me. Because of this I checked her fb, noticed her flirting with another guy and kicked her out.
Well, my gut instinct was to not tell him and avoid stirring up drama- just see if it fades away. But I guess you guys are right when you say that doing so makes me partially complicit- I don't want him to find out later, and in the long run, its probably kinder to tell him. (Even if he gets annoyed in the short term). I'll probably call him today and send him a screenshot of the text.
Just to clarify, it wasn't a case of deciding between a friend I've known for years and a girl I met a few months ago. I just thought I was probably doing him a favour in not telling him, provided she let it go as well.
Just to clarify, it wasn't a case of deciding between a friend I've known for years and a girl I met a few months ago. I just thought I was probably doing him a favour in not telling him, provided she let it go as well.
^ I understand your perspective.
Personally, I'd always want to be told, but I've had at least one friend back in the day say he wouldn't want to know in such a situation, so there are guys that feel that way.
I guess you'll have to figure out for yourself which type your buddy is.
I guess you could pretend it was a hypothethical situation or something you're dealing with concerning another friend and get his opinion that way. You better have a good poker face to pull such a thing off though.
Personally, I'd always want to be told, but I've had at least one friend back in the day say he wouldn't want to know in such a situation, so there are guys that feel that way.
I guess you'll have to figure out for yourself which type your buddy is.
I guess you could pretend it was a hypothethical situation or something you're dealing with concerning another friend and get his opinion that way. You better have a good poker face to pull such a thing off though.
Beyond All Seas
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
I would personally ignore it because the friend will always remember and things will be weird between the two of you.
Let the lizard teach him a lesson but not with you.
Let the lizard teach him a lesson but not with you.
Been in something similar twice. Once I told my friend what happened lost the friendship and he married her a year later. The other time a friend caught his gf saying the almost exact same thing she said to you to me and he eventually married her. If she's already cheated early on and he didn't do anything about it then that tells me he hasn't waken up yet. The question is do you want to lose him as a friend? "Don't shoot the messenger" is a saying for a reason.
It probably really depends on the friend.
Does anyone have an experience where they told their friend and the friendship endured?
If the OP's gut says to say nothing, maybe he senses the friendship will be over.
That said, if my friend ditched me over telling him the truth I would be so pissed I'd probably go over to his house and force feed him a Mega-bottle of red-pills such they'd have to rush him to the detox center.
Friendships dont always last forever. I lost my best childhood friend of 20 years to drugs. You may lose him to a woman instead. Or a career, or any number of things. Shit happens and there's a lot we can't control in our own lives, let alone others.
If you do tell your friend he will be forced to choose, and someone is going to lose.
Does anyone have an experience where they told their friend and the friendship endured?
If the OP's gut says to say nothing, maybe he senses the friendship will be over.
That said, if my friend ditched me over telling him the truth I would be so pissed I'd probably go over to his house and force feed him a Mega-bottle of red-pills such they'd have to rush him to the detox center.
Friendships dont always last forever. I lost my best childhood friend of 20 years to drugs. You may lose him to a woman instead. Or a career, or any number of things. Shit happens and there's a lot we can't control in our own lives, let alone others.
If you do tell your friend he will be forced to choose, and someone is going to lose.
I'd say that if it is a good friend tell him + show texts as proof. If it is a decent or so so friend that you value more than some slut, ignore. And if he is a "friend" well, let your own moral compass decide.
What Christian McQueen said is spot on though; if more girls get burned then fewer will cheat, which is a win for everybody.
What Christian McQueen said is spot on though; if more girls get burned then fewer will cheat, which is a win for everybody.
I would ignore it and move on if he's a good friend but nothing better. If he's truly one of your closest, long-time friends, I would tell him.
I was looking through old threads and saw this one. Thought I'd bump it to let you guys know how it went, and draw some conclusions.
I decided to tell my friend what was going on instead of just ignoring it. He was very disappointed and I think he resented me for it. They broke up a few days after I told him.
I also got a lot of angry texts from the girl like "did you honestly think I liked you" and other stuff along the same lines, suggesting I was just creating drama. I ignored all of these.
Anyway we didn't really speak for 8 or 9 months after this happened, but I reached out to him a few months ago and he's probably my best friend now.
In conclusion, always tell your friend if you're in a situation like this. Its the kindest thing to do, and the only thing thats fair. By not telling him, you're keeping him in the dark and allowing him to follow the wrong path.
I decided to tell my friend what was going on instead of just ignoring it. He was very disappointed and I think he resented me for it. They broke up a few days after I told him.
I also got a lot of angry texts from the girl like "did you honestly think I liked you" and other stuff along the same lines, suggesting I was just creating drama. I ignored all of these.
Anyway we didn't really speak for 8 or 9 months after this happened, but I reached out to him a few months ago and he's probably my best friend now.
In conclusion, always tell your friend if you're in a situation like this. Its the kindest thing to do, and the only thing thats fair. By not telling him, you're keeping him in the dark and allowing him to follow the wrong path.
Ignore. But encourage your friend to explore his options without telling him about his girlfriend.
Her actions will come out eventually and it's best if you stay out of it
Or, if you'd like, be that shady friend that bangs your friend's girlfriend. I did it, me and him are still super homies
EDIT: Good choice, and seems like you handled her shit tests after
Her actions will come out eventually and it's best if you stay out of it
Or, if you'd like, be that shady friend that bangs your friend's girlfriend. I did it, me and him are still super homies
EDIT: Good choice, and seems like you handled her shit tests after
Good resolution to it. It always comes down to how good of a friend the guy is to you. If he isn't, then game on, but you better be sure the guy isn't going to so something crazy after. Typical though that she would say she didn't actually like you.
It's good to remember though that if this girl is pulling this shit on her current guy with you, she's probably going to pull it on you.
It's good to remember though that if this girl is pulling this shit on her current guy with you, she's probably going to pull it on you.
'Logic Over Emotion Since 2013'
Of course a girl who get's burned is going to say things like that, fuck her, she's replaceable, good friends who turn into brothers are very hard to replace.
I'm glad you guys had some time apart and now are friends again.
I'm glad you guys had some time apart and now are friends again.
Glad there was a positive resolution.
A few years ago, the girl who is going to be marrying one of my oldest friends in 2 months time, was hitting on me very heavily over chat. She had mental problems and was giving it all "you're amazing, you deserve everything..." sort of stuff. He wasn't there, and she wanted me to "come over". She's very, very hot. I was about as tempted as I ever have been in my life by that offer, but I couldn't do it to him. To this day I still want to bang her, but I know if I had it would have been a huge mistake.
Bros before hos, as the saying goes!
Also to this day, I ask myself if I should have told him about it. Perhaps I should have. Who knows what else she has gotten up to on the side while he has been blissfully ignorant?
A few years ago, the girl who is going to be marrying one of my oldest friends in 2 months time, was hitting on me very heavily over chat. She had mental problems and was giving it all "you're amazing, you deserve everything..." sort of stuff. He wasn't there, and she wanted me to "come over". She's very, very hot. I was about as tempted as I ever have been in my life by that offer, but I couldn't do it to him. To this day I still want to bang her, but I know if I had it would have been a huge mistake.
Bros before hos, as the saying goes!
Also to this day, I ask myself if I should have told him about it. Perhaps I should have. Who knows what else she has gotten up to on the side while he has been blissfully ignorant?
"As wolves among sheep we have wandered"
Like some have alluded to here, I too have been on both sides of this coin.
I've also acted on the impulse, thus lost a so-so buddy, not a great friend but gave others a bad impression of me who were better friends.
There are also times when friends try to lock down total whores, whores that are obviously whores to everyone in the group and ready to get passed around. In that situation, pulling aside a friend, no matter how beta as fuck he is, probably won't do the trick. And I've acted and not acted and told the friend in the group-whore situation as well.
So twice I can think of I crossed the line "technically," only once with a buddy where it really counted and the girl was attention whoring, and not your typical pass around hoe.
It's taken years for us to reconnect, but he finally reached out after 3 years and after the tumult between us. It's just not worth it, and usually this situation presents itself to me when lots of partying is going on, so know how to control shit when drunk is my advice to boot.
I've also acted on the impulse, thus lost a so-so buddy, not a great friend but gave others a bad impression of me who were better friends.
There are also times when friends try to lock down total whores, whores that are obviously whores to everyone in the group and ready to get passed around. In that situation, pulling aside a friend, no matter how beta as fuck he is, probably won't do the trick. And I've acted and not acted and told the friend in the group-whore situation as well.
So twice I can think of I crossed the line "technically," only once with a buddy where it really counted and the girl was attention whoring, and not your typical pass around hoe.
It's taken years for us to reconnect, but he finally reached out after 3 years and after the tumult between us. It's just not worth it, and usually this situation presents itself to me when lots of partying is going on, so know how to control shit when drunk is my advice to boot.
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