[agentaika]

Encounters with selfish and ignorant people fuels my misanthropy. My intolerance for bullshit has had an effect on my attraction for women, who I find exceedingly selfish and tedious to deal with. Instead of wanting to fuck them, I only kind of want to fuck them, or could probably live without sex all together if I had to. When I am in the mood, I usually target fit 6s and 7s because I just don't have the patience to deal with stupid-ass 9s and 10s anymore.

Does this qualify as a problem? If so, how would you deal with it? Or maybe I just need to learn how to stop giving a fuck?

[nek]

(04-06-2014 09:01 PM)agentaika Wrote:  

Or maybe I just need to learn how to stop giving a fuck?

It'll take time. In the meantime, it's important to learn to control your emotional state so as it doesn't affect you too much. I suggest starting here. Read tip #2.

[Architekt]

Fuck them as a way of punishing them for being cunts if you have to. They know they're misbehaving, hence they love being tortured. Remember what you're looking for though, otherwise you'll feel pretty empty after a while

[VincentVinturi]

Not to but here's your problem:



American women just make men want to give up. If you haven't already, go abroad and see what real women are like. The difference is like crappy instant coffee and powdered creamer vs. an OCD Indie coffee shop guy meticulously preparing a cup of delicious French Pressed dark roast.

[agentaika]

(04-06-2014 09:08 PM)nek Wrote:  

It'll take time. In the meantime, it's important to learn to control your emotional state so as it doesn't affect you too much. I suggest starting here. Read tip #2.

I really enjoyed The Wolf of Wall Street, and I've been meaning to look up Jordan Belfort. Now might be a good time to do that after I finish reading your link.

(04-06-2014 10:11 PM)Architekt Wrote:  

Fuck them as a way of punishing them for being cunts if you have to. They know they're misbehaving, hence they love being tortured. Remember what you're looking for though, otherwise you'll feel pretty empty after a while

I like the idea of hate fucking obnoxious chicks. Once I can find a way to stop being offended by how stupid and difficult they are, and just play the game they expect and like, I should take full advantage of them.

(04-06-2014 10:23 PM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  

American women just make men want to give up. If you haven't already, go abroad and see what real women are like. The difference is like crappy instant coffee and powdered creamer vs. an OCD Indie coffee shop guy meticulously preparing a cup of delicious French Pressed dark roast.

The last girl I genuinely enjoyed being around was an au pair from France. She was so nice, and humble. I've heard a lot of good things about non-American girls. I need to finally get a passport and see what my international options are.

Thanks, guys.

[xpatplayer]

Great points by nek, architekt and vincentvinturi.

I'd also suggest you stop interacting with negative people. The United States is a big country and you will find many positive people (not common but not rare, you just need to look for gems in a pile of dirt). Get a gym membership and hang out with your gym buddies. Gym rats are among the most positive people I know. Also try to network with successful people. Its no coincidence that optimists are over-represented among the extremely successful.

Also think about what you really want. Do you want relationships with girls who are highly intelligent or hookups with very hot girls? Do you want mini-relationships with feminine girls or a harem of slutty fuck-buddies? Game is not a monolithic entity. Think about what you really want and go for that.

This is just a phase that you will get over in no time. Find what you really want and go for it. If you think a trip to Europe will cure that, go to Europe. But first, I'd suggest you stop hanging out with average people. They always bring out the misanthropy in me, I'm pretty sure they do the same to you. (Much respect to Vince and no offence intended. I'm simply suggesting finding happiness in your own backyard. However, I will take a trip to Europe for the women, given the chance.)

[freewheeler]

This is something I can relate with.

There are a number of things I believe are at play here:

1) culture of narcissism, female entitlement, etc.

2) are you in a shitty physiological state (ex. stressed, lack of sleep quality/quantity, poor nutrition, etc.) which is affecting your psychological state and influencing your emotions?

3) screen out narcissistic, negative, emotional vampire type women as much as possible

4) be careful not to project what you think the world/women "ought" or "should" be onto them, it only leads to disappointment, resentment and bitterness, instead see the world/women as it is

5) really know what you're looking for, write it down, be brutally honest and reflect this in your subcommunications when you interact with people

6) it's perfectly ok to be disillusioned with the game, there's a natural expansion/contraction to life and sometimes your goals change, instead use this time to focus on building your own value as a man, improving your lifestyle, fitness, etc. and take some time away from the game until you're ready to come back, it isn't going anywhere

7) be careful with the whole hate-fucking thing, it would only serve to reward those women with poor behaviour by providing them with your attention and sex and contribute to the further perpetuation of such poor behaviour, plus it would be against your values if you truly don't believe in acting in such a manner which would bring your integrity into question and slowly eat away at your soul

8) just focus on being your best self, try not to think so much and be so serious, enjoy yourself and have fun in life, don't even concern yourself with women--let it re-surface organically in good time

9) http://therawness.com/the-reader-letters-1-series/
(goes into narcissism/codependency/emotional vampires)

models by mark manson

meditation

no more mr.nice guy by robert glover
(see how certain lingering behaviours/perspectives might be holding you back)

try to understand where your misanthropy comes from, is it really helping you achieve your goals right now? Is being a misanthrope going to help your situation and your relationships, or would it be better to act in alignment with the man you want to be and simply forget the rest?

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

You can thank me later

[funkyzeit]

Bitterness is normal if you're new to the whole red pill thing. Once you start accepting the nature of people you'll become desentisized to bullshit.

[jariel]

(04-06-2014 11:15 PM)agentaika Wrote:  

I like the idea of hate fucking obnoxious chicks.

I don't, she doesn't care what your reason is for fucking her, she just wants to get fucked and have orgasms. I feel like, why should I, given what I'm working with, share my body with and give orgasms to bitches that don't compel me to do that.

I love to fuck, but not so much, I need to do it and kill my self-esteem in the process, that's what you're doing when you're fucking these worthless women.

It's really time to be selective, it's time to have some seriously high standards, ultimately, you get what you deserve.

[MikeCF]

(04-06-2014 09:01 PM)agentaika Wrote:  

Encounters with selfish and ignorant people fuels my misanthropy.

You attract the energy that you send out into the universe. Why are you attracting selfish and ignorant people?

(04-06-2014 09:01 PM)agentaika Wrote:  

My intolerance for bullshit has had an effect on my attraction for women, who I find exceedingly selfish and tedious to deal with. Instead of wanting to fuck them, I only kind of want to fuck them, or could probably live without sex all together if I had to.

Why is this a problem? Who says you need to spend all of your time chasing women?

What is your mission in life?

Why not focus your energy on finding your mission in life and developing yourself as a man?

[MikeCF]

Also, exercise some self awareness.

You are bitter and angry right now, aren't you?

That is natural. I was once there. It's part of the "stages of grief"/states of game consciousness:

http://dangerandplay.com/2011/09/27/the-...ciousness/

I suggest avoiding most game blogs. I read Roosh and Krauser and that's about it.

The rest are negative and are full of bitching and whining about fat American women, black people, Jews, etc.

If you go around in a state of, "I HATE women," "I HATE Jews," "I HATE blacks," then you are a person of hate. That is negative energy. You therefore attract negative people

That is negative energy that penetrates your unconscious mind, makes you more negative, and thus causes you to send out negative energy into the universe - which in turn causes you to attract the people you want to avoid.

[Days of Broken Arrows]

I have this problem too. But what's making me disgruntled with women isn't the manosphere blogs, the racial talk, or anything in these parts.

It's social media. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and all the rest not only bring out the worst in women (narcissism, obsession with celebrity), but they expose and magnify each individual woman's worst qualities.

So, for example, if you're into a woman and she's into pets or yoga or vegetarianism, that's going to come across tenfold on social media. She'll seem like a didactic egomaniac. And the online dating sites make this even worse. Women come off as caricatures or stereotypes more than people.

Back in the old days (the 1990s?) part of the fun of meeting women was that you didn't know what might be up with them. That mystery is gone now and part of the fun went out with it.

I guess what I could do is get off all social media, but then I'd be the reject of the Western world. I'm already a pariah for not texting, but if I had to deal with people texting me constantly on a smart phone, I'd be writing this from an asylum -- or a prison.

[MikeCF]

(04-07-2014 07:31 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

I guess what I could do is get off all social media, but then I'd be the reject of the Western world.

Why?

If you are a true player, you either don't have Facebook at all or you have your settings on lockdown so that the girls you're banging can't stalk you there.

"Do you have Facebook?"

"No, too much drama."

That's a masculine frame that also makes them assume you're a quality man. They figure an ex is stalking you, which is social proof that you're the kind of man who deserves to be stalked.

Again, you guys are throwing negative energy out.

You are throwing out weak energy. "I would be a pariah." Who cares? That is what a weak man would think.

You are defining your existence based on normal values. So you are attracting weak energy.

Define your own existence and watch what happens. It will astonish you.

[Icarus]

(04-07-2014 07:31 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

It's social media. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and all the rest not only bring out the worst in women (narcissism, obsession with celebrity), but they expose and magnify each individual woman's worst qualities.

Exactly! That is why I left Facebook years ago. I could not stand the attention-whoring, the fishing for compliments, the retarded status updates...

And Russian women can be even worse than Western ones. I am on VKontakte still, and my VK feed is full of Russian bitches posing for photographs as if they were Hollywood divas. I can't stand that shit. It's almost as if women were nothing more than validation-seeking meat robots.

[Comte De St. Germain]

I think everyone covered most of the bases on here for this. As a fellow misanthrope, let me give you some advice on how to enjoy your time while being surrounded by idiots. The key to this is mind games. I find novelty in reactions, getting unusual responses, and generally enjoying messing with people in my own personal way. The best way to do this is to come up with a game of sorts you play maybe adding in something unrelated to the topic or something so bizarre and just watching the reaction. Lets say I am talking about classes or work, and then suddenly add in that I want to fry a turtle or conquer Alaska. I've done something like this and I usually get someone to laugh, someone to comment on it with a strange look on their face, and the most entertaining one, flat out ignoring what I said in that 3 second interval. Adding in these kind of mind games and enjoying yourself with ignorant people is a great way to deal with the stupid.

I would also add in that you should keep a couple of intellectual equals(or as close as it gets) around as it prevents you from going literally insane because of your surroundings. Thankfully I've found 2 or 3 and it does wonders as well. You can not include the mind games or the friends(personally I recommend both), but I would consider having at the very least one of these around.

[unbowed]

MikeCF nailed it. Maybe the misanthropy served a purpose but it's time to kill the misanthropy if you want to boost the sex drive. There will always be selfish and ignorant people. Game is supposed to help center you and help make the most of life; not to turn 'sinners into saints'.

I think the bitterness and anger come from the realization at how free you truly are in this world. Forget selfish, ignorant people, the more important question is, knowing what you know now, why would you let selfish, ignorant people affect your emotional state? Would you actively expend energy disliking the fact that blue jays are blue?

Sounds like you're feeling a downgrade in quality from a French au-pair to an American girl. Keep approaching until you find another girl with those qualities you like. Or pick up some French and a passport and explore the 4 corners of France or Quebec.

(04-07-2014 07:39 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  

Define your own existence and watch what happens. It will astonish you.

This is one of those "tape these words on your bathroom mirror" quotes.

[MikeCF]

(04-07-2014 08:43 PM)unbowed Wrote:  

I think the bitterness and anger come from the realization at how free you truly are in this world.

This. It is existential angst:

Quote:

"Existential angst", sometimes called dread, anxiety, or anguish, is a term that is common to many existentialist thinkers. It is generally held to be a negative feeling arising from the experience of human freedom and responsibility. The archetypal example is the experience one has when standing on a cliff where one not only fears falling off it, but also dreads the possibility of throwing oneself off. In this experience that "nothing is holding me back", one senses the lack of anything that predetermines one to either throw oneself off or to stand still, and one experiences one's own freedom.

No one said freedom was easy. Most never wake up from the Matrix and many wish they could return...

[Days of Broken Arrows]

(04-07-2014 07:39 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  

(04-07-2014 07:31 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

I guess what I could do is get off all social media, but then I'd be the reject of the Western world.

Why?

If you are a true player, you either don't have Facebook at all or you have your settings on lockdown so that the girls you're banging can't stalk you there.

"Do you have Facebook?"

"No, too much drama."

That's a masculine frame that also makes them assume you're a quality man. They figure an ex is stalking you, which is social proof that you're the kind of man who deserves to be stalked.

Again, you guys are throwing negative energy out.

You are throwing out weak energy. "I would be a pariah." Who cares? That is what a weak man would think.

You are defining your existence based on normal values. So you are attracting weak energy.

Define your own existence and watch what happens. It will astonish you.

Mike, points taken, but the reasons I stay on FB go beyond women. I keep in touch with long-distance family members and college friends scattered across the world (and some former professors who now live far away). I also work in writing and use it for contacts and people I need to interview.

So, in that light, my comment about being a pariah might make more sense. The thing to do would be to use it for this and this only, but deleting dozens of nice-looking women seems self-destructive, so on it I stay.

My opinion is that if Facebook had appeared in the 1990s before photos on the Web were commonplace, it would have been more tolerable. The "selfie" has gone from something cute to a stomach-churning commentary on the downhill slide of our society.

Addendum: I agree with Icarus that Russian woman are just as big attention-whores online as their US counterparts. But...at least they look reasonably good doing it. There's nothing like a selfie from an American woman 50 pounds overweight that still gets dozens of likes.

[MikeCF]

(04-07-2014 08:53 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

Mike, points taken, but the reasons I stay on FB go beyond women. I keep in touch with long-distance family members and college friends scattered across the world (and some former professors who now live far away). I also work in writing and use it for contacts and people I need to interview.

You can't hide status updates?

Maybe I'm dense, but I never understood the hate for Facebook.

You can control what you see.

If someone is posting stupid shit, you can "unfriend" the person or "stop receiving status updates" from them.

Maybe this does not apply to you, but in my experience people just have poor self-control and go look at stuff they know they will hate/will piss them off.

[runsonmagic]

OP - having been there, it sounds like you are putting effort into attracting women you don't really like.

Because you're doing something that isn't your highest excitement, you're having trouble "getting excited" so to speak.

Try figuring out what excites you most, moment to moment, and doing only that.

You may find, once you meet a woman who truly excites you, that you aren't yet the kind of man who excites her. Then you'll know how you need to grow. Soon, you'll develop this into a mission and purpose that is so strong, it won't matter if you get the girl at all.

Good luck.

Also, side-note: I don't have a facebook, and still get laid. In fact, the only social media I use twitter and wordpress for my writing. I actually don't even do OKC or online dating anymore, despite the fact I'm really good at it, because it doesn't excite me anymore. It's a comfort area, not a growth area.

Also, also - OP - you mentioned being sick of others bullshit. Get sick of your own bullshit. We all have some. That'll help. Change it in yourself, and you'll attract a different experience.

[Cr33pin]

MikeCF I wanna have your babies.......no homo

[MikeCF]

(04-07-2014 10:46 PM)Cr33pin Wrote:  

MikeCF I wanna have your babies.......no homo

Hah, thanks.

It's all mindset.

At D&P there's post after post about how to change your own mindset.

One reason I stopped writing about game is that...when you change your mindset, your game just evolves along with it.

Game is no longer about techniques or tricks or trying to get a girl to talk to you. You start to see how that stuff is lower down the mountain and higher up in the mountain is getting your mind right. (Probably that is why there are so many metaphors about mountains and enlightenment. Moses, for example, went up to the mountain and came down with the Ten Commandments.)

It really is about the law of attraction. You start changing your mindset, this changes your energy, and this in turn attracts people of a higher caliber to you.

Or put a little bit differently, "If you're in a room looking aground and you see a bunch of idiots...What do they think when they look at you?"

You're voluntarily in the same room as those idiots, right?

So what's that say about you?

Changing your mindset is like going into a different room. Suddenly you look around and see....Well you let me know once you've changed yours.

[tawillionaire]

OP, I have the same exact issue. Sometimes it's hard to tell if you're just rationalizing away your opportunities or if you really don't like someone.

I know this girl who is very attractive, fun to be around and smart enough to actually hold an interesting conversation. I knew her from before I had ever seen her in a bar, then one night I see her out and she was flirty and giving me plenty of IOIs. But I missed my chance and nothing happened, and now I see her at the bar every week with a different guy. I don't feel any urge to hit on her when I see her with someone else, but I still think about her afterwards. Hard to tell if I'm trusting my instincts (she's a slut, don't put in too much effort) or if my ego is getting bruised (she's with someone else, fuck her). I'm leaning towards ego. I've fucked plenty of slutty girls, and I'll fuck plenty more, might as well go for one of the few who caught my interest for more than one night.

I think the reality of life in 2014 is that we're going to have to deal with slutty, selfish, narcissistic girls. That's not negotiable. Might as well just accept it and make the best of it.

[RXB]

While I'm sure this will sound like blasphemy, quit the game for awhile.

The best thing I ever did was take a full year off of reading anything manosphere related. No blogs, no eBooks, no forum, nothing.

During that time I actually got better with women and became infinitely happier. I made all new friends, and tried a bunch of new things.Instead of going out to hit on girls every weekend I started lifting weights, writing, learning about art, and developing myself. I also got a whole new social circle. Instead of just hanging around with guys who were interested in banging chicks and complaining about the end of the world, I made friends with people who were positive.

American culture, "femnazis," "leftoids," and all the other stuff that guys like to trash isn't what's bringing you down. It's your attitude. Try meditating, or pick up a book on Eastern philosophy. While I'm sure that it's "beta," I read a lot of spiritual stuff and realized that the whole us v. them shtick is manufactured. people are people, there's no real reason to hate anyone. If you don't agree with others, just don't associate with them.