[not-a-pua]

Has anyone observed this?

For bangs, women are ok to come to your place, bang, then go home. If the relationship grows deeper, they want you to spend more time at their place. If they spend some days with you, complaints begin. Even if you provide them with “what they need” to keep themselves entertained: complaints. Now, if you go to their place, just hang out bored out of your mind because there is nothing to do, they are happy. Asked around and found out, I’m not alone with this problem.

It’s currently a relationship problem, because I don’t “have enough time” for her.

Any tips how to proceed?

[Mr. Calicoat]

I actually noticed the complete opposite. Women always want to come to my place, unless they feel bad because of drama (that they often created themselves), then they want me to come to their place to cheer them up. In all other cases however, they more than happily come over to my place.

Are you saying that you actually don't have enough time for her or does she just say/think that?

PS: Nice avatar.

[Thomas the Rhymer]

(04-03-2014 09:15 AM)not-a-pua Wrote:  

Has anyone observed this?

I've experienced the opposite.

Of course, when they spend so much time at my place, they want to start keeping stuff there. Like toothbrush, hair brush, toiletries, extra change of underwear. I think if you don't let them keep stuff at your place, that's when they want you at their own place.

The problem with letting a woman keep some stuff at your place is that quite quickly a couple of toiletries somehow multiplies to her trying to take over more and more cupboard space... and she doesn't even technically live there yet she wants more than half the storage space for some stuff that she maybe wore once... It's important to set some boundaries, but women keep sneaking stuff in behind one's back, like it's a damn secret military operation or something.

[The Beast1]

(04-03-2014 09:15 AM)not-a-pua Wrote:  

Has anyone observed this?

For bangs, women are ok to come to your place, bang, then go home. If the relationship grows deeper, they want you to spend more time at their place. If they spend some days with you, complaints begin. Even if you provide them with “what they need” to keep themselves entertained: complaints. Now, if you go to their place, just hang out bored out of your mind because there is nothing to do, they are happy. Asked around and found out, I’m not alone with this problem.

It’s currently a relationship problem, because I don’t “have enough time” for her.

Any tips how to proceed?

Do you have your own place or do you have room mates?

Does she have her own place or does she have room mates?

How clean is your apartment? What "style" is your place?

I've never really had this problem. When I had room mates, I would go to the girls place because I didn't want to deal with my room mates questioning and being in the way. Sometimes I need an escape from my own social groups!

I also hate it when toiletries ends up becoming clothing and then a dresser. It literally feels like the Soviet Union putting nukes in Cuba.

[Fitzgerald]

A bit of a thread derail here. Something I haven't tried myself but was suggested on the old Uman site was a "bitch bin", a small basket or something you fill with assorted toiletries clearly intended for female guests (toothbrushes, hair brushes, shampoo, lotion, in every girly hue imaginable). Obvious point is that she doesn't have to worry about not having that basic stuff, but the occult point was that some of the products should show signs of use and that they were likely left there, not purchased.

Any players out there do anything like that?

[xxMarco]

I keep new toothbrushes, hair bands, hair brushes, baby wipes, make up remover at my place.

I think it's convenient for when girls come over. I've run into the problem where they ask too many questions. Sometimes leads to last minute resistance because they get the "player vibe" from me

"Why do you have hair bands?"
"Whose been using this brush?"
"What's with the make up remover. Are you a player or something?"

Better to have nothing at all.

[Billy Chubbs]

(04-03-2014 02:49 PM)xxMarco Wrote:  

I keep new toothbrushes, hair bands, hair brushes, baby wipes, make up remover at my place.

I think it's convenient for when girls come over. I've run into the problem where they ask too many questions. Sometimes leads to last minute resistance because they get the "player vibe" from me

"Why do you have hair bands?"
"Whose been using this brush?"
"What's with the make up remover. Are you a player or something?"

Better to have nothing at all.

Put it all in a little kit, hide it under the sink. Bang her, use the wash room, put the kit on the counter. Then if she asks if you have extra toothbrush, etc, just tell her where the kit is. Who gives a fuck what she thinks after you've dicked her.

[Timoteo]

I think most women would prefer to be in their own place, where they are more comfortable and in "safe" surroundings. Dudes tend to be cool with it because they're getting pussy, and frankly don't need that much stuff for short visits. Also, it's easier to leave when you're ready than having to find a way to get someone to leave when you're tired of them.

[not-a-pua]

(04-03-2014 10:26 AM)frenchie Wrote:  

Do you have your own place or do you have room mates?

We both have our own place. No room mates.

(04-03-2014 10:26 AM)frenchie Wrote:  

How clean is your apartment? What "style" is your place?

Clean and tidy. She keeps hers the same.

Interesting to see the difference. I can only think my place isn't "welcoming" enough.

[not-a-pua]

(04-03-2014 09:34 AM)Mr. Calicoat Wrote:  

Are you saying that you actually don't have enough time for her or does she just say/think that?

PS: Nice avatar.

We only see each other on weekends.
Giggedy

[Samseau]

I've had both types of girls. The types who move in after the first bang and the types who refuse to fuck in any other bed but their own.

No pattern just women being irrational. Nothing to see here move along folks

[reaper23]

(04-03-2014 02:05 PM)Fitzgerald Wrote:  

A bit of a thread derail here. Something I haven't tried myself but was suggested on the old Uman site was a "bitch bin", a small basket or something you fill with assorted toiletries clearly intended for female guests (toothbrushes, hair brushes, shampoo, lotion, in every girly hue imaginable). Obvious point is that she doesn't have to worry about not having that basic stuff, but the occult point was that some of the products should show signs of use and that they were likely left there, not purchased.

Any players out there do anything like that?

bro, i used to keep a "lost and found"

[Donkey_Riding]

(04-03-2014 09:15 AM)not-a-pua Wrote:  

If they spend some days with you, complaints begin. Even if you provide them with “what they need” to keep themselves entertained: complaints. Now, if you go to their place, just hang out bored out of your mind because there is nothing to do, they are happy. Asked around and found out, I’m not alone with this problem.

It’s currently a relationship problem, because I don’t “have enough time” for her.

Any tips how to proceed?

Set firmer boundaries. If you are not sufficiently entertained at her place that you enjoy spending time with her, don't do it. Fuck her brains out a couple times, tell her you have stuff to do, then leave.

Along the same lines, if she is at your place and complains that she is bored, drop hints that it is time for her to get going.

If she keeps complaining that you don't have enough time for her, simply explain to her that you have other commitments and you don't think extended "hang-out" time is necessary for a passionate emotional relationship. If she is really into you she should accept this. If not, you find another girl whose relationship expectations are more compatible with your desired lifestyle.

[The Beast1]

(04-04-2014 01:26 AM)not-a-pua Wrote:  

(04-03-2014 10:26 AM)frenchie Wrote:  

Do you have your own place or do you have room mates?

We both have our own place. No room mates.

(04-03-2014 10:26 AM)frenchie Wrote:  

How clean is your apartment? What "style" is your place?

Clean and tidy. She keeps hers the same.

Interesting to see the difference. I can only think my place isn't "welcoming" enough.

Dang can't help you. Maybe your place is just cozy!