[cmrocks]

Hi,

Are there any good threads or resources on Game for guys that are married or settled?

I know this isn't the typical red-pill attitude but I'm happily engaged to a very good looking, tall, blonde woman that works in health care and is very much into traditional gender roles. I'll be 28 years old this year and I want to have kids in the next 3 or 4 years so this is the route that I'm going down.

For the most part, I remain fairly alpha in our relationship. I earn 70% of the household income, make most of our financial decisions etc. She's fairly happy to be lead around. She makes most of the decisions regarding decorating the apartment, what's for dinner etc. It's a good and strong relationship.

My reasons for wanting to get a better grasp of game in this situation is two fold.

First, like every relationship, there is always a shifting balance of power. If I start getting a bit soft, she'll start shit testing me more and attempting to get away with more bullshit. I don't think it's intentional. I think it's just natural. I want to gain a better understanding of the nuances and dynamics that are at play here.

Second, I miss hitting on women. In the past, I would have ranked myself at an intermediate level of game. I had no problem getting laid. I got up to 50ish kills through a combination of being single and having a few girlfriends throughout my early and mid 20s. I would say that my approach game was very sub par but my conversational game and closing game was above average. My first date to bang ratio was very high.

So anyways, I'm not interested in fucking other women these days. However, I would like to make a concentrated effort to get better at game in general.

I don't go out drinking as often as I used to mainly because I'm busy with work and my interests are just shifting away from that sort of thing. I guess I'm interested in improving my day game. There are tons of pretty women where I live that I run across daily. Examples, pretty women at the gym, the coffee shop, the mall etc. They're all over the place.

I'd like to get to a point where I can approach women cold in normal day to day settings with a lot of confidence that I could pick them up if so desired.

Any good resources or threads that I should check out?

[Rutting Elephant]

Try rationalmale and Dalrock, but prime your bullshit detector first.

[Tytalus]

http://www.marriedmansexlife.com

Athol kay has a good blog, and three books published so far. I highly recommend them all.

http://marriedmansexlife.com/athols-books/

[WestIndianArchie]

You're asking 2 questions

1) Game for Marriage - see Rollo Tomassi and Athol Kay

2) "I can still pull some tail" game

The thing is, if you're not going to pull the trigger, you don't really know if you'll hit the target.

How many text book pick ups have you run?
Everything is going good, she's responding to the right cues, logistics on lock...and just as you're about to get into it, she balks.

When you start getting a little success in the early stages, you don't find out till later that you were focusing on the wrong things.

TL;DR - You can learn to flirt your ass off, but unless you're fucking these bitches, you're fooling yourself.

That being said, learning to be social, being able to chat up strangers, that's a useful skill in and of itself. Guiding conversations, eliciting information, telling stories, making jokes, understanding human psychology through communication - that's more valuable than most males/men realize.

Arguably, learning how to bed women because of how you appear, what you say, and what you do is just a subset of overall persuasion.

But just cause you can sell someone on an idea, win them to your cause, get a reaction out of them, plant a seed in their mind that they think is their own idea.. doesn't mean you know what to do to make a 20 year old skip psychology to suck you off in your hotel room conveniently located near campus.

WIA

[cmrocks]

(04-05-2014 08:37 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

That being said, learning to be social, being able to chat up strangers, that's a useful skill in and of itself. Guiding conversations, eliciting information, telling stories, making jokes, understanding human psychology through communication - that's more valuable than most males/men realize.


WIA

Great post.

I'm after this. Being able to chat up strangers confidently, have them laughing, being able to get people to do what I want better etc.

[Lothario]

^^^ from WIA

[CaptainCrazy]

You don't need anything special for game in marriage. It's all the same.

I got married at 23 pre-pill. Thankfully I discovered the truth soon enough. No one even called this thing "red pill" back then. It was back when Ross Jeffriess was at full swing. Via several years of slow conditioning I turned my wife into "my slut" I always wanted. 14 years later still work in progress.

Are you sure you're ready fоr this? Did you really fucked the player out of your system? By the sounds of your post, you didn't, so don't get into anything serious with kids.

As WIA said, you pull the trigger or it didn't happen. It's LTR with cheating or simply stay the payer.

My biggest mistakes were, I didn't live enough of my own and I didn't fucked the player out of my system. Now, with a wife of almost 15 years and a kid that enter a high school this year it is all pretty ugly.

[caracal]

(04-05-2014 11:47 PM)CaptainCrazy Wrote:  

You don't need anything special for game in marriage. It's all the same.

I got married at 23 pre-pill. Thankfully I discovered the truth soon enough. No one even called this thing "red pill" back then. It was back when Ross Jeffriess was at full swing. Via several years of slow conditioning I turned my wife into "my slut" I always wanted. 14 years later still work in progress.

Are you sure you're ready fоr this? Did you really fucked the player out of your system? By the sounds of your post, you didn't, so don't get into anything serious with kids.

As WIA said, you pull the trigger or it didn't happen. It's LTR with cheating or simply stay the payer.

My biggest mistakes were, I didn't live enough of my own and I didn't fucked the player out of my system. Now, with a wife of almost 15 years and a kid that enter a high school this year it is all pretty ugly.

This is a similar situation to me in that I got into a long-term relationship young and now have the wife and kid (who I love more than anything in the world btw) during what is traditionally a guy's prime gaming years of 25-35. I didn't discover the red pill until I was older and still crave the strange. I fought it for a long time, thinking I was somehow 'bad' for my natural desires and lusts. Then I looked at some of my male friends and relatives who were married, including my father: their wives had basically emasculated them (not including the women who tore them a new one going through divorce) including my own mother who is borderline abusive to my father now that he is old and starting to lose his shit. There was no way I was going to become one of them. I think a thread for married/LTR game (both within the marriage/LTR itself and for chasing strange tail) is a great idea.

[Carlos100]

As others have said, you should use game to keep your wife from making your life miserable. My relationship with my wife has greatly improved since I discovered the manosphere about a year ago.

Also, continuing to be able to cause attractions in females around you is a healthy personal attribute. It raises your cred with your male friends and colleagues. It helps make your wife more likely to be faithful by giving her dread game. It helps to get the women you know or work with to serve your needs instead of ignoring or undermining you. It also helps to keep you sharp in general social situations.

[cmrocks]

Thanks for the replies guys. I just want to state my game is not hopeless by any means. I did very well for myself when I was single and my fiance is very good looking. Of course I still look at other women and want to fuck them but that's completely normal. I'm not going to fuck them. I want to get married and have a family in the next few years.

My game was best when I was introduced to women or when I met women in a safe setting like a co-ed sports team or a university study group etc. I'm a very confident person but I'm NOT outgoing at all. I don't like most people and it takes me a while to trust people so I tend to just ignore people that aren't close to me.

I want to get over this. I want to be more confident in cold approaching people; both men and women. I feel that being likable and friendly is the single biggest thing that I'm lacking in life. I want to improve my game in a way that makes everyone want to be around me because I'm engaging, interesting etc.

[Cobra]

If you do some searches, there are some good threads by the married guys on the forum.

The feeling of GUILT is tough to overcome. BUT, I'm fairly positive it can be with time and effort; just remember to not shit where you eat.

You HAVE to go out and APPROACH like every other guy but your progress will be slower. (This realization was given to me by another good forum member)

Just know that and keep putting out the effort. It's the only way.