I've seen a more than few threads about how to start or maintain a conversation with a girl. Whether it's because the girls in question have no interests or the guy can't quite figure out what really engages her, this seems like a common enough problem in the age of dating apps. Plus, a player's greatest asset is his conversation.
So you're out with a girl, and she's not really talking. The common mistake is to take over the conversation by bragging about how great you are. To sell yourself and build a huge bonfire of attraction because of your high value. The problem is that overselling yourself makes you look weak. You're chasing after her approval and neglecting to build rapport. You're ruining your mystery.
The better play is to have her talk. Get her yammering, and suddenly she's chasing after your approval. It also gives you a variety of responses. You can tease her. You can nod in approval. You're now in control of the conversation.
A story or two has its place, but you have to use that story to get her talking instead. The easiest subject for a girl to talk about is herself. So your focus should be 1) to get her talking 2) about herself.
Instead of rattling off your greatest hits, tell one good story with an emotional hook. It doesn't have to make you look like the biggest and baddest man on the planet (although ideally, you don't come off as a tool). The key is the emotion.
Hopefully, she'll pick up on the emotion, which you should mention by name in your story, and tell one of her own that relates. If not, you can ask her to tell you "the last time something like that happened to you."
But with some girls that won't work. You try to steer the conversation somewhere interesting, and she'll bring everything back to her work, her school, or her circle of friends. With girls this basic, it's hard to resist the urge to run through your highlight reel of cool stuff.
Again, that's a mistake. Chicks communicate through their emotions. So you'll want to connect with her emotionally. It's hard to outcompete the 10,000's of men available to her via her smartphone to be the coolest, wealthiest, sexiest, etc. Instead, you can stand out by having an instant connection.
Let her tell you about her some mundane drama in her life. Then when she finishes her story, ask her, "How did that make you feel?"
She will respond with a long answer. Repeat a word or phrase (the emotional hook of her response) back to her to get her to explain further. Now she's opening up to you.
Keep the conversation going until you can get to a place where you can make a push for sex. Rinse and repeat.
So you're out with a girl, and she's not really talking. The common mistake is to take over the conversation by bragging about how great you are. To sell yourself and build a huge bonfire of attraction because of your high value. The problem is that overselling yourself makes you look weak. You're chasing after her approval and neglecting to build rapport. You're ruining your mystery.
The better play is to have her talk. Get her yammering, and suddenly she's chasing after your approval. It also gives you a variety of responses. You can tease her. You can nod in approval. You're now in control of the conversation.
A story or two has its place, but you have to use that story to get her talking instead. The easiest subject for a girl to talk about is herself. So your focus should be 1) to get her talking 2) about herself.
Instead of rattling off your greatest hits, tell one good story with an emotional hook. It doesn't have to make you look like the biggest and baddest man on the planet (although ideally, you don't come off as a tool). The key is the emotion.
Hopefully, she'll pick up on the emotion, which you should mention by name in your story, and tell one of her own that relates. If not, you can ask her to tell you "the last time something like that happened to you."
But with some girls that won't work. You try to steer the conversation somewhere interesting, and she'll bring everything back to her work, her school, or her circle of friends. With girls this basic, it's hard to resist the urge to run through your highlight reel of cool stuff.
Again, that's a mistake. Chicks communicate through their emotions. So you'll want to connect with her emotionally. It's hard to outcompete the 10,000's of men available to her via her smartphone to be the coolest, wealthiest, sexiest, etc. Instead, you can stand out by having an instant connection.
Let her tell you about her some mundane drama in her life. Then when she finishes her story, ask her, "How did that make you feel?"
She will respond with a long answer. Repeat a word or phrase (the emotional hook of her response) back to her to get her to explain further. Now she's opening up to you.
Keep the conversation going until you can get to a place where you can make a push for sex. Rinse and repeat.