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Thoughts on dealing with suicide
#26

Thoughts on dealing with suicide

I genuinely feel for you concerning your loss. This is tragic. I know it's easy for me to speak from the vantage point of someone who has not lost a family member to suicide, and I am sure there is residual anger over what this person has done and its after-effects, but, please, if you can, find it within yourself to forgive and understand.

Talking to professionals, talking with people who have weathered this storm can all help.

I wish you the very best.
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#27

Thoughts on dealing with suicide

Quote: (01-27-2014 02:10 AM)bacon Wrote:  

I just learned my close friend committed sucide.

has anyone here dealt with the sucide of someone close? The shock of the news is wearing off now after reading his obituary 2days agobut this saddens me that a guy i shared so many memories with is gone from this earth. The fact that he ended his own life leaves me withmany conflicting emotions. The mind is a mystery and depression often affects the most interesting talented people.

Several people I've known have killed themselves. The first was a guy I only remember meeting once, at a party, back in the early 1990s. His father had given me a copy of Space Quest III on seven 5 1/4" diskettes, and I had gotten stuck for months trying to get past a place in the game where a robot kept catching me and twisting me into bits.

I told this guy about my problem, and he said, "Push the hook and it will hit the robot in the head and make him fall into the grinder." Sure enough, it worked, and allowed me to beat the game. I was so young that I don't even remember what he looked like; maybe I didn't even make eye contact with him, because he was so much taller than me.

Later, I heard that one day when his father was away from the house, he had broken into his dad's bedroom by putting a ladder through the window, and retrieved his dad's gun and killed himself. He had at least done one act of kindness for me before he went. My sister told me that he was a shy guy. Probably he just needed some pussy.

The second guy I knew who killed himself was a childhood friend of mine, my favorite in the whole neighborhood. The other kids used to call him a faggot and say that he talked like a robot. When he grew up, we used to talk about our suicidal thoughts in Facebook chats. Then I got sentenced to 10 months in jail, and when I got out, I accepted a friend request from a woman I didn't know.

After she was notified of my acceptance, she told me that she didn't know me, but she had been friending everyone on his friends list so she could tell them that he had killed himself. My first thought was, "Why did it have to be him?" I spent three hours writing a eulogy for him; then my browser crashed and I lost all my work, and I spent another three hours re-writing it.

The third person I knew who killed herself was my ex-wife. She had left me about 11 months earlier (347 days, to be exact), so I had already mourned the loss of her. However, it wasn't till the day I got a phone call telling me she was dead, that I found out in the same conversation that I had a daughter.

I reached out to another ex of hers, and he told me that he was glad she was dead. I guess he was happy that she couldn't cause any more harm. Part of me feels the same way, but I'll never stop loving her and wishing I could have had even a miserable life with her rather than lose her. Then again, I can't really wish upon any child to have a mother who's so emotionally and psychologically unstable.

When I think of the people I've known who killed themselves, it reminds me of rock stars, or actors like Heath Ledger, who died of overdoses. Some of the best (or most unique and interesting, anyway) people are only around for a short time. They're too intense, and they don't fit into society very well. So if you meet someone like that, enjoy them while you have them.

When people feel suicidal over and over, and make multiple attempts, it's hard to feel so bad about when they finally succeed. Obviously their problems were chronic, rather than temporary.

On the other hand, it's worth noting that many, if not most, of the people I've known, who killed themselves, had recently gotten on psychiatric meds. That's some dangerous shit, yo. I warned one of them that he was playing with fire, and he told me that he could handle it, because he'd experimented with psychedelics. Well, obviously whatever psych meds he was on were more dangerous than the illegal drugs he had played around with, because he's dead now.
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#28

Thoughts on dealing with suicide

As the above poster wrote, I think that most suicides stem from the chemical imbalances caused by alcohol abuse and anti depressants. Both of those substances are pure fucking evil when it comes to dopamine and serotonin levels.

I recently started watching the Walking Dead series where suicide is a central theme. I think they were also spot on with their analysis. Once a person is fully convinced that no hope exists for happiness in their future, or a return to a previous happy period in their lifetime, suicide often prioritizes itself over the will to survive.

“There is no global anthem, no global currency, no certificate of global citizenship. We pledge allegiance to one flag, and that flag is the American flag!” -DJT
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#29

Thoughts on dealing with suicide

Quote: (06-02-2016 01:21 PM)RIslander Wrote:  

As the above poster wrote, I think that most suicides stem from the chemical imbalances caused by alcohol abuse and anti depressants. Both of those substances are pure fucking evil when it comes to dopamine and serotonin levels.

I recently started watching the Walking Dead series where suicide is a central theme. I think they were also spot on with their analysis. Once a person is fully convinced that no hope exists for happiness in their future, or a return to a previous happy period in their lifetime, suicide often prioritizes itself over the will to survive.
You're probably right on that, since the brain is geared toward "flight or fight". If it perceives a threat as unescapable then it likely also perceives suicide as the less painful of the two alternatives.

Our brain also can potentially perceive any painful situation anything as a threat of death even when it logically isn't; since the "animal" part of our brain doesn't by logic, just instinct that's been hard-wired since our hunter gatherer days.

(The above is why I'm definitely into evolutionary psychology, since I think it can potentially give practical explanations and solutions to the most basic day-to-day situations we endure).
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#30

Thoughts on dealing with suicide

Folks, I will put it in this way, the best quote I ever heard on suicide sound like this: - "It is very very dumb to seek permanent solution to a temporary problem" period.
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#31

Thoughts on dealing with suicide

Two alpha symbols when they hear about suicide .

- Don Draper " That's very disturbing .. "
- Tony Soprano " Suicide ? What the fuck ?"
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#32

Thoughts on dealing with suicide

"You just never know what is going on in someone's head and the pain they are suffering."

God that is the truth.
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#33

Thoughts on dealing with suicide

Quote: (01-27-2014 02:10 AM)bacon Wrote:  

I just learned my close friend committed sucide.

has anyone here dealt with the sucide of someone close? The shock of the news is wearing off now after reading his obituary 2days agobut this saddens me that a guy i shared so many memories with is gone from this earth. The fact that he ended his own life leaves me withmany conflicting emotions. The mind is a mystery and depression often affects the most interesting talented people.

That must be a terrible situation. And I do not even know what it must feel like to go through that. I know OP has posted this a long time ago but for anyone reading this I have to say the following:

The best thing you could possibly do is talking to someone or several people that are close to you. By talking (as soon as you are ready to do so) you are able to give it a place at some point. Don't underestimate the situation by suppressing emotions. They might come back for you some day. By embracing the feeling you might fuel your negative thoughts and therefore your improvements in your life come to a stand still. So, talk. You don't have to understand why it happened but come to peace with yourself for the fact it has happened. Think about this way: Wouldn't this
person that was close to you want you to be as happy as possible?

If you ever feel down, even if you feel like crawling through the depths of hell, always realize that there will be light at the end of the tunnel. We are men. Men become.
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#34

Thoughts on dealing with suicide

Quote: (01-29-2014 12:40 AM)CaP7 Wrote:  

90% of the time, suicide is about revenge. Deal with that issue, and thoughts of suicide end.

yeah I used to think that the revenge thing was just a plea for attention but I've been suicidal for a few years now (started 2015 and got really bad this past year when I got really bad health problems).

when I was in a really bad spot my family, friends, and greater society let me down and I realized how little people actually give a shit.

so it's not so much revenge per say but the old 'don't do it cuz you'll hurt you're family' argument goes out the window when you see how little people give a shit about you. (at least for me can't speak for everyone)
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#35

Thoughts on dealing with suicide

I think its only an option for a terminal disease or unending pain and real physical suffering that can not be cured.

Depression, heartbreak and sadness are all temporary and will go away.

I briefly considered it once when my marriage ended and I was being divorce raped very very hard. It was mostly because the kids had been taken away.
A few weeks of weakness where I thought I could instantly end all the pain and suffering. Looking back I am ashamed and think I was a huge pussy for considering it.

I hardened up, got on with it and worked my way back to an awesome and epic life, that I would have missed out on.

Permanent solutions to temporary problems are a bad choice.
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#36

Thoughts on dealing with suicide

There is nothing more amazing than life and all the potential that exists.

Whatever it is that you enjoy, do that a lot more. There should also be a lot of exercising, eating healthy food, getting out in the sun, getting fresh air and talking to people.

I was once very depressed and I see now from a distance that it was entirely my fault for not doing the above things. The world is magical with opportunity. Really, almost anything is possible, even something like stardom if a person is willing to work hard enough. It might be a kind of niche stardom, but compared to killing yourself, minor stardom cant possibly be that bad.
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