[bacon]

I just learned my close friend committed sucide.

has anyone here dealt with the sucide of someone close? The shock of the news is wearing off now after reading his obituary 2days agobut this saddens me that a guy i shared so many memories with is gone from this earth. The fact that he ended his own life leaves me withmany conflicting emotions. The mind is a mystery and depression often affects the most interesting talented people.

[WanderingSoul]

Sorry for your loss.

My cousin, who I grew up with like my brother, may or may not kill himself. He's always been depressed. Locked up for a week for telling his doctor he was having suicidal thoughts. Talks about how he doesn't want to kill himself. etc.

When I think about him killing himself I have two thoughts:

1. I get sad and think maybe I should have tried to help him more, even though he rejects anything I suggest in regards to making himself happier. I.E. stop eating fucking pizza pockets and crap for breakfast, and clean up his diet, lift weights and exercise, be more social, get sunlight, testosterone levels checked, etc.

2. I'm going to spit in his face while he lays there in his coffin because he's a fucking coward who took zero steps to fix himself, and decided to take the easy way out and hurt a lot of people in the process like the bitch that he is.

I figure if it actually happens that my feelings will go from one extreme to the next quite rapidly.

[Wahawahwah]

Sorry for your loss.

I've tried suicide.
Once.
Aeons ago, when I slid off the beta scales.

And been on the other side as my cousin committed suicide the last year.

You think you're strong and can deal with the shock, but usually the aftershock hits home like a sledgehammer. Its okay to grieve a little, but be wary of letting yourself get carried away in the full swing of conflicting emotions. Many people face their demons after a loss, and gratutude goes a long way.

The only thing that you need is time... Time will numb the edge a bit.

In the meanwhile, its important not to bottle back the grief completely (bec u usually explode, sooner or later) but at the same time not allow yourself to get carried away too much, it can be a slippery slide.

Thank the fates for your good fortune, visit his family, cross the street to give the homeless man an extra dollar, read the Godfather...

Death and loss are inevitable, all we can do is take heed and love ourselves and the people we care for.

Sorry if this sounds beta.

[cardguy]

The tragic thing with suicide - is that the vast majority of those who do it - would have regretted the decision if they had lived longer.

Alot of people have suicidal thoughts at one time or another. And most people shake their heads a few years later, and wonder why they were ever so sad in the first place.

[Wahawahwah]

Yes. You nailed it.
One gets into a negative suicidal thought loop and its really crazy fuckin hard to get out of that loop.
A failed suicide attempt is one way.

[birdie num num]

(01-27-2014 08:44 AM)cardguy Wrote:  

The tragic thing with suicide - is that the vast majority of those who do it - would have regretted the decision if they had lived longer.

Alot of people have suicidal thoughts at one time or another. And most people shake their heads a few years later, and wonder why they were ever so sad in the first place.

A few years back the New Yorker magazine had a story about those who jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge. Amazingly, some jumpers survived. Down to the last person, they all felt a huge sense of regret the second they jumped.

I had a good friend commit suicide. One of the strongest emotions I felt was anger. Why in the hell didn't he talk to me or ask anyone for help? He was a popular school teacher, a great guy and everyone loved him. It came from out of the blue and surprised everyone. You just never know what is going on in someone's head and the pain they are suffering.

[little wing]

Yes, one of my parents committed suicide when I was 14.
It sucks, that's the only way of describing it

[Giovonny]

My brother killed himself.

Here is my advice..

Move on with your life!

Take what is valuable to you and leave the rest behind.

[cardguy]

I am starting to think more like this as well when it comes to death.

It is fine remembering people and grieving. But shit - we all will be dead soon enough as well. And the dead person you are grieving over won't be around to feel sad when you die.

So as much as I feel sorry for those who die. I remind myself not to feel too sorry for them - since I will be dead along with them soon enough.

Sometimes a bitter thought like that helps put things in perspective. To be honest it is one of the few things that helps me get over the deaths of other people. Knowing that they have faced a hurdle which is still waiting for me.

Shit is real.

[Akula]

Very sorry for your loss.

It will take time to heal I think and you're going to have all the feelings of anger, resentment and confusion as to why he did it that others have pointed out.

You will get over it eventually but it's going to take time to understand it all so give yourself that time and realize that this isn't an easy thing to go through.

[Onto]

I think anyone worth their salt has thought about suicide. Life is no picnic and we all want it to conform to the way we feel it should be. I think for some who decide to check out early they have a very hard time letting go of their demand life be their way. I won't say this for all who do, because there could certainly be other circumstances involved.

I really do think we all choose to be born and go through this life, and as such it is our choice as well if we decide at some point that we've had enough.

[cardguy]

Suicide is so selfish.

Fuck take up drugs, smoking, heavy drinking and start skydiving.

At least if you die doing that it won't be as painful to your family as killing yourself.

We will all be dead soon enough. Even if you hate your life - just stick around. You will be dead in no time.

[The Lizard of Oz]

bacon, I wonder what psych prescription drugs your friend was taking.

One of the most common ways people end up in this hole is they get prescribed some combination of anti-depressants. Some of these can rapidly bring about very intense and almost irresistible suicidal ideation. For some reason these are often hangings -- probably because the drug-induced suicidal impulses are so urgent that people can't even wait to get their hands on a gun.

I wouldn't be surprised if this is what happened here.

[CaP7]

90% of the time, suicide is about revenge. Deal with that issue, and thoughts of suicide end.

[WanderingSoul]

(01-29-2014 12:40 AM)CaP7 Wrote:  

90% of the time, suicide is about revenge. Deal with that issue, and thoughts of suicide end.

If someone did me so wrong that I was angry enough to contemplate killing myself, I think I'd probably kill them first.

[clever alias]

yea that number is not right.
theres also been a rise in post adolescent males comitting suicide for no obvious reason with ni warning signs. my neighbor spent his last day like he always did, even paid his bills, then went to the park and shot himself in the head.
it sucks, but theres not a lot of margin for error when the neurotransmitters in your brain get scrambled

[OMYG]

[/quote]

A few years back the New Yorker magazine had a story about those who jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge. Amazingly, some jumpers survived. Down to the last person, they all felt a huge sense of regret the second they jumped.

[/quote]

There's a good documentary on that. All the ones that jumped and survived are happy they did.

Crappy quality but it's eye-opening, powerful.

Sorry for your loss bacon, my condolences.

[WesternCancer]

Just know that it's not your fault.

[bacon]

Thanks for all the support on this thread. Ive been taking in all the advice shared on this thread. I think Gio´s advice of just moving on with your life is ultimately what I need to do. Dwelling on this and trying to make sense of it is not doing me any favors.

BTW go to minute 51 in the video posted above to hear the incredible story from the guy who survived the fall from golden gate bridge. Its definately worth a listen.

[Thomas the Rhymer]

Bump.

My father committed suicide last week. It was very unexpected. He was making plans for the future and my separated parents were discussing moving back in together. He talked a lot about death but we tried to encourage him and we assumed he was just being gloomy rather than suicidal, especially since he talked a lot about future plans. He had a lot of physical complaints but he denied being depressed. He also stubbornly refused the correct medical treatment for his physical complaints - and his illnesses probably drained him a lot physically on top of whatever was going on in his head.

I know I will forgive him eventually but I'm going to feel angry for a long time over this.

He was a cold, distant, self-centred, at times cruel father as I was growing up. Our relationship had really improved though, in recent years, and I was looking forward to chilling with the old man and having the relationship we should have had when I was growing up.

He was trying to be less selfish but I guess the old self-centredness came and overtook him one last time. He just couldn't be bothered to deal with the challenges of retirement and old age and I think he decided to take the easy way out. There was really nothing in his life that couldn't be fixed without some time, effort, patience, and his family's love - so we are left behind very confused, because it was an utterly senseless, stupid thing to do. We want answers but we know there are none.

Next week is his birthday. He would have turned 66. He didn't even make it one year into retirement.

I think Giovonny's advice in this thread is the best. There is really nothing further to do except to move on and live.

My father's suicide has made me realise something though : when I die, I want people to be happy that I was alive; I don't want their main emotion to be sadness. My father cast a horrible dark shadow over us that will take time to dispel.

[EDantes]

Sorry about your loss.

Just remember that all life is inherently worth living. Progressivism promotes the notion that life isn't worth living unless one has what they're "entitled" to, which I think inflluences many people's suicides; once they realize the things they've been "told" they're entitled to are things they can never have, whether it's from "the corporations", "discrimination" the consumerist media, etc.

[Filbert]

One of the reasons not to commit suicide is that in the afterlife a person committing suicide will suffer greatly.
It is similar to being fried in oil alive. It happens in one of the lower vital worlds (it's where real hell is).
The reason for this suffering is that the person consciously exists God's game.

Then he will not be able to reincarnate for a long time and when he does, he will be crippled in some way or demented.
It also affects relatives.
So relatives should pray not to be affected.

Of course, this sounds controversial, but it seems plausible.
As someone mentioned above, it's better to take up drinking and chasing single mums than take one's own life.
Or one can take out a huge loan and elope to SEA or Mexico.
It will also incur some karmic shit, but not as much as in case of a suicide.

[egionesco]

(05-26-2016 04:00 AM)Filbert Wrote:  

One of the reasons not to commit suicide is that in the afterlife a person committing suicide will suffer greatly.
It is similar to being fried in oil alive. It happens in one of the lower vital worlds (it's where real hell is).
The reason for this suffering is that the person consciously exists God's game.

Then he will not be able to reincarnate for a long time and when he does, he will be crippled in some way or demented.
It also affects relatives.
So relatives should pray not to be affected.

Of course, this sounds controversial, but it seems plausible.
As someone mentioned above, it's better to take up drinking and chasing single mums than take one's own life.
Or one can take out a huge loan and elope to SEA or Mexico.
It will also incur some karmic shit, but not as much as in case of a suicide.

What kind of perverse creature must you believe in to think that someone is fried in oil for eternity because they didn't want to exist anymore, a decision that anyone of any decent intelligence can at least sympathize with thinking back to the darkest hours of his own existence?

I mean, it's cool and all, whatever you believe. Except if you are right, you've essentially invented a malevolent God. Since it really is impossible to know certain things, I'm going to recognize the chance you are correct but put absolutely no stock into that possibility because if there is a God who will fry people in oil for eternity I cannot possibly figure out how such an evil creature is going to react to whatever I do or do not do in the brief time I have.

Seriously, there are plenty of legitimate arguments you can make against suicide.

[Elster]

My brother offed himself in new year's eve in true respect to our family traditional inclination for absurd grandiosity.
Strangely enough I think I was taking my baby steps in the manosphere back then too...

Aside from making me realize that we were actually pretty similar despite 2 decades of believing we were complete opposites it also becomes a meaningless gesture over time.
He got his 5 min of glory,and almost half a year later,his ex is hitting on me and his chums are chumming about.
Its been long enough,right? Time heals all wounds and people get on with their lives and well,yeah the pain you think you may have caused them if that was your motivation has been forgotten.
If it wasnt and you sought to solve things,well now you can't do it anymore

Im not vilifying suicide though-goddamit,I considered it a few times. But,in the end, it went against my survival of the fit primal programming.
Even so,I guess it must have some biological hard wiring into it as well aside from the cultural glorification we can make of it

[puckerman]

(01-27-2014 08:44 AM)cardguy Wrote:  

The tragic thing with suicide - is that the vast majority of those who do it - would have regretted the decision if they had lived longer.

It's easy to understand why you are banned. How do you know these people would have regretted the decision? Maybe these people had an incurable disease. Maybe they were faced with something they couldn't handle, and it wouldn't go away.

This is the kind of self-righteous, know-it-all attitude that has made honest discussion about suicide difficult and impossible.

If you're thinking about suicide, get clean and go to a good medicine retreat in the Amazon. You'll be glad if you find the right one.