[Closer68]

Being fat isn't optimal, but it's also not a dealbreaker for chicks.

[Jazzman92]

Both are the problem and both influence each other. You're overweight and insecure about it and together both of these factors will reduce your success with women. After you get rejected you attribute that to the fact that you're overweight and become even more self-conscious about your body. Its like a vicious cycle and the only way out of it is to get in shape while becoming comfortable with who you are at the present moment.

[RockHard]

(01-09-2014 08:57 PM)Closer68 Wrote:  

Being fat isn't optimal, but it's also not a dealbreaker for chicks.

Ever seen pix of Kim DotCom and his wife? Dude has to be 350, maybe 400, his wife is a petite little thing. I'd call her a 7, but looks-wise Kim Dotcom is like a 2 or 3, and a serious geek. What the dude has going for him is a fuckload of money and he does fun shit with his life (which is one reason why he has a fuckload of money).

[Ziltoid]

Be glad you aren't skinny.

[weambulance]

I've been thinking about this a lot in the last few months. I'm seriously overweight, like I want to lose 40 pounds (I'm working on it every day). I'm about 235 right now at 5'11, and I'm pretty muscular with very broad shoulders and chest. I can carry the weight well, but the fact that I'm just plain fat is not up for debate. I was up to around 250 a few months ago, by far the fattest I've ever been.

The thing is, the reaction I get from women has everything to do with my confidence.

If my hair looks good, I'm taking good care of my beard, and my clothes are clean, flattering, and unwrinkled, then I feel like king shit and girls see it in the way I move, the way I talk, the look in my eye and my smirk when I make eye contact. I get eye fucked despite being overweight. I don't try to hide my fat, I wear jeans that are snug in the butt/thighs and shirts that aren't skin tight but that I stretch in the shoulders/arms/chest to emphasize my powerful build.

Contrast that with how things are when my hair is dirty and I'm hiding it with a hat, or I'm wearing a shirt that is too loose and makes me look like a skinnyfat chump. Maybe I haven't lined my beard up in a week or trimmed it evenly so it doesn't have a clean shape. Combine a few of those factors and I become horribly self conscious of how shitty I look, and I might as well be invisible to women. Sure, the fact that I don't look as good does hurt to some extent, but the negative effect that has on my behavior is far greater.

I've never had a girl that I hooked up with mention my weight, in or out of the bedroom. Girls who are attracted to me, who I'm not trying to hook up with, will actually claim that I'm not fat but just a large man if the subject comes up in conversation. Sure, some girls out there are snobs about a guy being overweight, but from what I can tell most don't give a shit, even if they're in great shape themselves.

So, my conclusion is if you're overweight and want to work on it, great, but don't let it eat at you. I promise it bothers you a lot more than it bothers anyone else. Maximize your confidence as you are now and it will pay off, and when you do get in better shape down the road you'll be killing it more than ever.

[puckerman]

Being insecure about your body fat is the problem.

[Jazzman92]

(07-30-2014 12:52 AM)weambulance Wrote:  

I've been thinking about this a lot in the last few months. I'm seriously overweight, like I want to lose 40 pounds (I'm working on it every day). I'm about 235 right now at 5'11, and I'm pretty muscular with very broad shoulders and chest. I can carry the weight well, but the fact that I'm just plain fat is not up for debate. I was up to around 250 a few months ago, by far the fattest I've ever been.

The thing is, the reaction I get from women has everything to do with my confidence.

If my hair looks good, I'm taking good care of my beard, and my clothes are clean, flattering, and unwrinkled, then I feel like king shit and girls see it in the way I move, the way I talk, the look in my eye and my smirk when I make eye contact. I get eye fucked despite being overweight. I don't try to hide my fat, I wear jeans that are snug in the butt/thighs and shirts that aren't skin tight but that I stretch in the shoulders/arms/chest to emphasize my powerful build.

Contrast that with how things are when my hair is dirty and I'm hiding it with a hat, or I'm wearing a shirt that is too loose and makes me look like a skinnyfat chump. Maybe I haven't lined my beard up in a week or trimmed it evenly so it doesn't have a clean shape. Combine a few of those factors and I become horribly self conscious of how shitty I look, and I might as well be invisible to women. Sure, the fact that I don't look as good does hurt to some extent, but the negative effect that has on my behavior is far greater.

I've never had a girl that I hooked up with mention my weight, in or out of the bedroom. Girls who are attracted to me, who I'm not trying to hook up with, will actually claim that I'm not fat but just a large man if the subject comes up in conversation. Sure, some girls out there are snobs about a guy being overweight, but from what I can tell most don't give a shit, even if they're in great shape themselves.

So, my conclusion is if you're overweight and want to work on it, great, but don't let it eat at you. I promise it bothers you a lot more than it bothers anyone else. Maximize your confidence as you are now and it will pay off, and when you do get in better shape down the road you'll be killing it more than ever.

One thing you mentioned though was that you carried the weight well. Some guys will be 40 - 50 pounds overweight but theyll just look thick. The way the fat deposits on their body doesnt make them look terrible. Other guys may be similar in every other way, but they'll deposit the fat on their chest and gut. They end up looking like they have man boobs and the fat is very loosely packed instead of being dense. The denser look generally doesnt make a huge difference when you approach girls, but looser look does.

[dads]

It's a lot easier to lose weight than trying to psych yourself into thinking it doesn't matter. Just my opinion.

[civpro]

Being overweight is the problem. Hot chicks do not like fat guys. /thread

[weambulance]

(08-03-2014 05:20 PM)dads Wrote:  

It's a lot easier to lose weight than trying to psych yourself into thinking it doesn't matter. Just my opinion.

That's fine, I absolutely think guys should get in better shape. However, it's dangerous to get in the habit of erecting mental barriers to even starting an activity because you think you aren't good enough to succeed.

Taking myself as an example, if I didn't have the experience with women that I have I might think that because I'm fat, even though I'm muscular, girls just won't be into me. And then I might not even try to approach, thinking "oh well I'll just focus on getting in shape and worry about approaching later." I'm looking at 9 to 12 months to hit my target weight, because I'm not interested in sacrificing my training by doing a hard cut.

Imagine a guy putting off even starting to approach girls for a year just because he's fat and convinced no attractive girl will like him because of that. That's shitty. Or, alternately, not even trying to get with attractive girls and going for porkers instead. That's even shittier!

(08-03-2014 06:56 PM)civpro Wrote:  

Being overweight is the problem. Hot chicks do not like fat guys. /thread

You simply do not know what you're talking about. Last girl I banged was an 8 and I'm 35-40 pounds overweight.

This post, and looking at others you made, shows you are placing FAR too much importance on looks. You seem to think if you're not a tall, built, cut, handsome guy there's a hard upper limit to how successful you can be with women, no matter how awesome you are otherwise.

Yes, looks matter. Yes, guys should do their best to optimize their looks. But they are not nearly the limiting factor you think they are, and just because you look more like Martin Freeman than Chris Hemsworth it doesn't mean you're never going to pull top notch girls.

The most natural, alpha guys I've known in my life were pretty average looking. For instance this guy I ran track with was only 5'7, always had a bit of a belly, reminded me of a leprechaun, and still hooked up with gorgeous girls. Couple guys I knew in the army, same deal, average height +/- an inch, not handsome or built, and they were pulling 7s-8.5s with regularity. Guy I went to college with, he was basically my clone except not as handsome and he was blond, and he never went more than a few weeks without a hot girlfriend and married a smoking hot redhead 5 years younger than him a few years back.

If looks, height, or slenderness are as important as you claim, then why have my friends had plenty of success with hot girls throughout their lives despite all of them looking like pretty normal guys?

[civpro]

No need to go into some kind of long refutation of my essence or something. What I said was that hot chicks don't like fat guys, and I stick to that.

In a less competitive town and in the confines of a social circle fat guy-hot girl combos may happen. But in your modern large city fat guys match up with fat girls. It's what I see.

[puckerman]

I will certainly advise any man who is overweight to lose weight. But your insecurity about it is the problem, not the weight itself.

You don't lose body fat for a woman. You lose body fat because it benefits you.

[weambulance]

Good, I'm certain your winning strategy of ignoring the direct experience of others in favor of your own superficial observations will take you far in life.

[Heathree]

When I walk around, I don't see any hot women with fat guys. If that happens, its an oddity and I figure something else is going on like the beta provider scenario.

[weambulance]

^

So, what, I'm lying? I'm just full of shit?

I never said women are attracted to fat. I said being fat is not a huge barrier to being attractive to women.

Fuckin A, I never would've revived this thread if I'd noticed it was in the newbie forum before I posted.

[Heathree]

^ I didn't even read your post until you highlighted it. I was making an observation based on where I live which is the UK. The situation might be different in other parts of the world.

[El Padrone]

Resurcitar!