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techniques for building rapport - Farnam street
#1

techniques for building rapport - Farnam street

http://www.farnamstreetblog.com/2013/07/...th-anyone/

I'm on my phone so it's hard to search but I didn't see any dupes based on thread titles... some of this ties to standard game theory, while some is better as a win friends and influence people approach.

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Robin is the lead instructor at the FBI’s Counterintelligence Training Center in all behavioral and interpersonal skills training.

And he wrote an awesome book on how to master the skills of communication.

His process not only includes research into social and evolutionary psychology, but it’s been honed from years of field experience.

I’ve been trying these out over the last few days and I’ve already noticed an improvement. Most importantly, I’ve put away my phone and focused on the person with whom I’m talking. This simple act of giving people my undivided attention has made a world of difference.

There are not many places that teach these techniques and I couldn’t have asked for a better guide than Robin.

His approach seems to tie in with standard game theory.

And number one on the list?
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1. Establishing Artificial Time Constraints

I suspect you’ve sat in a bar at one point or another and been approached by a stranger who tried to start a conversation. My guess is you felt awkward or possibly even uncomfortable. This is because you didn’t know when or if the conversation would end.

The first step in the process of developing great rapport and having great conversations is letting the other person know that there is an end in sight, and it is really close.

When you approach someone to start a conversation most people assess the situation for threat before anything else.

Humans have genetically survived because of this. This is a strong reason why these techniques work; they are specifically designed to lower the perceived risk to a stranger.


It'd be interesting to see if this guy cleans up.

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#2

techniques for building rapport - Farnam street

Quote: (12-31-2013 01:09 PM)polar Wrote:  

some of this ties to standard game theory, while some is better as a win friends and influence people approach.

Reads more like the second than the first to me. A large part of that post seems to be about showing submission to the other person. A small part of it matches game, the larger part doesn't. It's networking, not seduction.

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You want to look non threatening. The number one nonverbal technique to use to look more accommodating is to smile.

I've read multiple studies where women rate smiling men lower in attractiveness.

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High chin angles make someone feel like you’re looking down at them.

You want a girl to feel this.

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4. Sympathy or assistance theme.
9. Gift-giving.

Welcome to the Friendzone.

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5. Ego Suspension
7. Ask … How? When? Why?

She'll never shut up about trivial, pointless shit, to the extent you'll wonder if banging her is worth it. It's your job as a man to steer the conversation. Ask questions, sure, it's part of game, but always be driving.

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6. Validate Others

That's what her smartphone is for. She has 100 beta orbiters on facebook to fill that function.
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#3

techniques for building rapport - Farnam street

Could be that rapport with an intelligence asset is different than one with a woman, even with both having the same end goal being fucking them.
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#4

techniques for building rapport - Farnam street

It's a classic power play: when you're strong feign weakness, when you're weak project strength.

So if you're an interrogator with the full weight of the federal government behind you you can afford to come at the interaction from a submissive angle. It'll through the subject off guard and hopefully get them to lower their defences. By the same token when you're in an environment you don't control (e.g. a nightclub) it's better to project strength.

A more advanced move is to switch it up a bit. Project strength to get a girl interested, then weakness to make her comfortable, then strength again to push the interaction.
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#5

techniques for building rapport - Farnam street

I have read his book, it can definitely be of value to those who are into day game.

Summarizing it:

Ensure your target knows the conversation will be short, non threatening vibe (This is good for latin america where women don't really like talking to strangers, not really good for UK) smiling (it works well with latin american girls, not cool for US/UK black girls)

It's a very short book but it was valuable for me. I am a day gamer and I recommend it to other guys who are into day game. Note that he looks kinda nerdish so take some of his advice with a grain of salt.
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