[dunn]

I will be as short as possible about me:
- 22 years old, currently working a dead end job in order to afford going back to uni for a masters.
- very small basically inexistent social circle, no social skills, not even the most elementary ones, since I consider myself suffering from social anxiety
- red pill ideas i discovered over the internet in the course of 2 years and reading this forum
- moderate success at night-game. I'm getting bored of it and getting drunk in order to have courage to approach chicks is getting too taxing.

Has anyone been in my situation and changed his life around, or am I doomed being a forever depressed beta? How did you do it?
I'm just looking for ideas that can improve my situation, expand my social circle and get some chicks.

[AntiTrace]

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-31104.html

a thread about recovering from a breakup. Ignore the breakup stuff and look at the self improvement stuff.

[XXL]

If you've been reading about pickup for 2 years then you know way more than you need right now. Everything is laid out there. Information is one click away. So right now it's all matter of execution. Form some kind of plan. Small chunk it. Follow baby step rule. Don't beat yourself up and realize it's just a skill like playing piano. Focus on positive things that happen. Ask others for specific advice and try things they tell you to do.

The worst and best thing about your situation is that you already know about this whole pickup thing. You know what's possible. Maybe you're just a spectator but still you KNOW what's out there. So now you can't just go back or forget it. It's like someone gave you magic blueprint to sex life of your dreams. Now you're actually fucked cause you can either use it to your advantage or not use it and be super fucking bitter and jaded for the rest of your life for not using it. That's interesting dilemma

[eradicator]

Start seeing a shrink if you really have social anxiety disorder. They will prescribe anti depressants or anti anxiety medications(benzodiazepines) that will help you. The longer you put this off, the longer you will have to wait to get your social life started.

You can also try talking to a psychotherapist, cognitive behavior therapy might help. They will help you figure out a specific plan that you can follow to take steps to improve your social skills every day. If you realize you have a huge problem like "I have zero friends and zero social skills, how do I improve and where do I begin," that will sound like a huge and daunting task. Cognitive behavior therapy will break that down into smaller tasks that you can make real progress on every day.

Read. There are so many books out there on self improvement. Dale Carenegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People could be a good start.

[pitt]

Fuck anti depressants or seeing psychotherapists, just start acting in the field and expect to fail a lot in order to see good results.

I have social anxiety and I have always been very social(I talk to everybody) and I probably have approached more women than 99% of this forum.

Social anxiety only exists in your head. I had a friend who used to tell me that everybody have social anxiety, some have it more severe than others.

When I tell my friends that I have social anxiety, they don't believe me at all, they actually find it funny because I am more social than them (they are pretty social too) and they think I am just talking shit.

[birdrussell]

you gotta get the anxiety under control. Go out periodicly with the intent of getting shot down. make fun of your night out and don't go getting drunk while you do this. chicks by and lage I've discovered don't care for drunk guys and don't seem to mind if you're sober.

[Dusty]

A lot of guys were in your shoes and turned there life around. From rags to riches.

I have a program for conquering approach anxiety which I am codifying in a book, which unfortunately is far from finished. It relies on day game and acquiring sober pharma-free confidence and courage.

You can PM me if you like and I can help you.

Also, read this thread:

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-28873.html

[Libertas]

I have a simple piece of advice for the 'no social skills' part.

Start making videos. They can be about whatever. In a few months your speaking ability is going to improve massively. This will translate into making good eye contact and projecting a powerful and confident speaking voice, and you'll be able to talk with no anxiety. Another added benefit is that you can carefully observe your body language on the videos and adjust accordingly where you make mistakes. Combine this latter portion with a good workout program and you'll have naturally good body language.

A decent portion of your problems should be solved right there, at no cost.

Also you're just going to have to put yourself in more social situations. That's something I'm also working on at the moment.

[BadgerHut]

(12-22-2013 07:55 AM)dunn Wrote:  

I will be as short as possible about me:
- 22 years old, currently working a dead end job in order to afford going back to uni for a masters.
- very small basically inexistent social circle, no social skills, not even the most elementary ones, since I consider myself suffering from social anxiety
- red pill ideas i discovered over the internet in the course of 2 years and reading this forum
- moderate success at night-game. I'm getting bored of it and getting drunk in order to have courage to approach chicks is getting too taxing.

Has anyone been in my situation and changed his life around, or am I doomed being a forever depressed beta? How did you do it?
I'm just looking for ideas that can improve my situation, expand my social circle and get some chicks.

Your flag is Romanian, is that where you are located?

In any case, it sounds like making some friends would really help your state of mind.

Basic social skills: hello, goodbye, how are you, showing interest in the other person's life - that sounds interesting tell me more about that, conversational flow, not droning on about things not of interest to them, setting up a future meetup with someone.

Many of us have found that social skills are easier to build in a social circle built on something you either enjoy or know a lot about, or both.

Can you get into such a group, with Meetup.com or whatever? Can you practice with them by asking one of them to meet you again for coffee or a pastry (platonically, not a date) and talk about whatever it is you share an interest in? That's always how I have rebuilt my social circles when I move to a new place.

[funkyzeit]

-Work out. It'll raise your confidence, reduce your stress and make you look better
-Find a hobby that will score you chicks. I'll recommend DSLR photography, you can get entry level Canon for like $300 unless you are broke as fuck. As you get better you'll develop a taste for esthetic things and a philosophy about beauty standards that will challenge girls. Also chicks like pro photos and a guy who will tell them how to bend for a shot.
-Develop a fashion style. Find a successful actor with your face and bodytype and copy him as much as you can.
-Read Roissy, Roosh and embrace red pill lifestyle. Approach a lot, you'll likely get rejected in the beginning but that's completely normal, don't get frustrated. My advice is fake it till you make it, it helped me.

[nick_]

Hey man, you sound like you're in the same situation as me, I have been struggling to find the awnsers myself. I got myself into good shape and i'm traveling to south east asia next month, hopefully i can leave all my baggage behind me and have a good time + i'm white, decent looking, speak fluent English and 6'1. My logistics in the suburbs make it very hard for a ONS from a club and i'm not in a social circle either (outside of the CBD Australia seems to be huge on social circles).

[dunn]

- Working out: doing it for some months
- Hobbies: I still don't know what I like, and I don't even feel the need to find something. Might be depression
- Style: i read about it, how fit is king but I don't have the money to change my wardrobe. My hair is kinda longish but I feel I don't look good with a short haircut so I dunno what to do with it
My thoughts are also very negative and i'm bringing myself down: for instance now I don't have anything planned for New Years and I think I'm a looser

Thanks guys for the tips, I'll try and put them to practice

[UnW]

(12-30-2013 05:06 AM)dunn Wrote:  

- Working out: doing it for some months
- Hobbies: I still don't know what I like, and I don't even feel the need to find something. Might be depression
- Style: i read about it, how fit is king but I don't have the money to change my wardrobe. My hair is kinda longish but I feel I don't look good with a short haircut so I dunno what to do with it
My thoughts are also very negative and i'm bringing myself down: for instance now I don't have anything planned for New Years and I think I'm a looser

Thanks guys for the tips, I'll try and put them to practice

About the new years thing, its just your perception.

Read this: http://www.rooshv.com/no-new-years-club

[nek]

If you jerk off a lot, quit. And lift. This will boost your testosterone. Will def. help with social anxiety.

[Deacon0228]

Make small goals and push yourself forward. Its step by step.

As far as hobbies...what is it you do when you're bored or things you find yourself tuning your brain into more often? One doesn't live on the mere existence of living with no substance. You're working for school to get your masters. What is it?

Style- Don't confuse style with fashion. Style is classic and it can be upgraded with as simple as working on making sure things fit accordingly. Fit is key here. You can buy the most expensive designer wear and if it doesn't fit its shit.

Bagerhut is right, just simple rhetoric between you and a person works wonders in the long run. Ease drop into conversation and if they are talking about a subject you know, interject and add your knowledge. The majority of people are pretty receptive and if they are not, its their loss not yours.