[Sebastian]

I took this traveler chick to the bar.
This girl started talking about her insecurity.

she doesn't like being short, she is jealous of tall girls because they have longer legs. she is afraid of meeting her old friend because she is hotter and doing better in job fields.

well, I tried to give her classic encouragements. she shouldn't compare herself with others. nobody can make her feel inferior blah blah.

It struck my head when she said 'I know it's bad but I fall for a guy who's mean to me, who doesn't give a damn about me'

I felt dumb after giving her kind words.
(of course, to be honest, I don't give a fuck about this dumb traveler chick. I just said that to fuck her)

So when a girl starts talking about her problems, what do you do?
Do you encourage her like her GF or do you just ignore that?
I am guessing it depends on the girl?

Anyways, I wasn't being honest to myself. I didn't feel sympathy for her but I tried to act like I cared about her. I think that's the reason I didn't get the bang in the end.

[Capitán Peligroso]

As soon as she starts talking about her problems, take out your phone, or better yet a book and start reading.

[funkyzeit]

Concentrate on her dating problems. If she starts about all men being assholes, then be an asshole because that's obviously what gets her focus. "All men are players"? Tell her your love life is "complicated".
"I hate being attracted to assholes". No you don't, you hate being unable to change assholes to commit to you.

All other complaints, "my tits are too small", "my ass is too fat", "my dad was an alcoholic (so I have daddy issues and fuck any man who seem like a leader I never had)" you either ignore or use against her if she tries to get bitchy and rude with you.

[bike0369]

That's a very interesting path of action. I did almost the same and had great success, until it just bombed on me. Here is how:

I met a Russian chick (8+) at a gallery, who was a complete brat (using F* word all the time, bitching about almost everything in life, and throwing shit test after shit test.) I play the same as above, get her comfortable and we start flirting well - sitting next, a bit of hand holding etc. We were both also buzzed. Then we had to leave the place and were going separate places, and I asked her to bring her friends to where I was going. She says No. Then I tried to kiss her. She doesn't let me. And then I played a joke on her just to tease her (I had kept her phone which she had forgotten where we were, in my pocket and made her search for it.) That's it! Rather than taking the joke in the spirit, she completely blew it and just left. I was like WTH. Called her and told her she was taking it too seriously, and she says - almost verbatim: "No, I am blonde and don't understand these jokes. You probably wanted sex like all men want as soon as they hear that I am Russian and I am a model. You stay in your great apartment in that area, and party hard with your friends; I go to that area too, but don't want to go with you."

I don't know what the hell happened there. I have an action in mind to try to reverse it (with probability of like 5%), but would love to hear what you guys would have done differently. This is my 5th European chick that I have bombed on in three months (3 Asian notches in the meantime), so there is something I need to change with Euro chicks.

[Remington]

(01-17-2014 10:57 AM)bike0369 Wrote:  

Called her and told her she was taking it too seriously, and she says - almost verbatim: "No, I am blonde and don't understand these jokes. You probably wanted sex like all men want as soon as they hear that I am Russian and I am a model. You stay in your great apartment in that area, and party hard with your friends; I go to that area too, but don't want to go with you."

She sounds conceited. We have all dealt with girls like that. Every time a girl has said something like that to me I give a quick response along the lines of "that's cute sweetheart, but you're not that special."

[scorpion]

First of all, the thread title is redundant. Every girl is insecure. Every. Single. One. Even the hot ones. Especially the hot ones.

Now, as for what to do when a girl brings up her insecurity. The worst thing you can do is attempt to placate her by insisting that whatever she's insecure about is no big deal. Example:

Girl: "Ugh, I really hate my big feet."
Chode guy: "Haha they aren't that big, besides they're kind of cute."

This makes you look like a grade-A chode. A girl who brings up her insecurities is engaging in a form of shit test, and you fail it by trying to comfort her. You're better off ignoring her cry for help (that is essentially what she is doing by advertising her insecurity, she's testing you to see if you're a white knight who will rush to provide her emotional comfort) and actually reinforcing her insecurity. You want to make her feel more insecure than she did previously. You want to make it clear that you aren't there to provide her emotional comfort, and you want her to feel more insecure so she is motivated to gain your approval back. So to go back to the previous example, you'd be better off with something like:

Girl: "Ugh, I really hate my big feet."
Player: "I almost didn't notice them. But then I did."

or

Girl: "Ugh, I really hate my big feet."
Player: "Are you part hobbit?"

or

Girl: "Ugh, I really hate my big feet."
Player: "Maybe you've got a growth spurt coming? You might end up like 6'3" or something."

Basically the idea is to ignore the shit test. She's dropping the bait to see if you go after it. If you take it, you lose. You just became her emotional tampon. You're like all her beta orbiters who love nothing more than to listen to her problems and provide her reassurance and emotional support. So don't do that. Don't provide comfort, do the opposite and tease her a little about her insecurity. Don't go overboard with it or you'll scare her off. The idea is to get her hamster spinning. You want her thinking something like, "Ok I mentioned my feet and he totally didn't reassure me. Is he like judging me? Does he really not like girls with big feet? I bet his ex had nice, small feet. Ugh."

Put her on the defensive and don't buy into her frame. Recognize the insecurity as a shit test and bypass it like you do all others, with the added bonus of being able to capitalize on her newly revealed weakness to make her more eager to gain your approval. If you fail the insecurity shit test, you're out, but if you beat it, it's like getting a power play. You come out ahead because she revealed a weakness you can then exploit to your benefit.

[polymath]

Typical girls are insecure. It's a function of living in a society where their worth is often judged outwardly, based on the appearances they keep up.

Focus on showing her a fun time instead of trying to be her therapist.

A woman is like hot water. If you let her steep with the tea bag of her own complaints, eventually she will be bitter and the topic will dominate her thoughts. All it takes is a few minutes. Be clever, be funny, and steer the topic somewhere that isn't so much of a verbal minefield. Verbal tea.

[DVY]

Russian girls are notorious divas. Laugh at her and say bye. Find better girls.

Or if you really intend on doing it properly, slam back 5-8 drinks w/her and have rough rodeo-style sex. Nothing tames a Russian girl like extra dominant sex