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Men who "propose" to their wives are invariably betas who get divorce raped
12-21-2013, 01:13 PM
If there was just one thing that I could persuade young men to STOP DOING it would be: stop getting down on your knee to propose to a woman.
Well, really, don't get married at all for the most part. But if you MUST consider getting married, then a sure sign of failure is that you feel the need to bend your knee to propose.
Proposing this way is not only wimpy but is completely artificial...only became common in past 50 years. It's a stupid, destructive concept that we need to stop right now. Like, you are begging the woman to allow you to give her all your money? Get a grip guys. She should be begging YOU.
Every single friend who proposed this way got screwed by his wife. Without exception. The guys who survived marriage intact, were the guys who didn't make a big fuss.
Here's how I proposed to my wife. We were driving down the street. At one point I pulled over and said "We should get married". She said "Yes of course...any time, any way you want." She made it clear that she understood that I was offering her something infinitely valuable and rare, and she'd work like hell to be worthy of it. Then we went to a dive bar and got hammered and fucked all weekend.
That made it clear to me that I had picked a reasonable woman. Every solid couple I know, happened the same way. No fuss. The man would never get down on one knee and present some fucking ring.
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Men who "propose" to their wives are invariably betas who get divorce raped
12-21-2013, 06:19 PM
I don't know, it's something you only do once, and she gives her life to you. I have no problem showing the occasion some respect. She's not my equal or my buddy, she's about to acquiesce to be submissive to me for the rest of her life. If I care enough to ask her I don't have a problem showing her how much it would mean to me. It's a one-time thing. Big deal.
It's not how you ask, it's who you ask. It isn't setting the table for being a submissive husband. It's a 15 second gig in exchange for a good woman's life.
Not saying do it or don't do it, but if it's the right one don't beat yourself up if you want to make it meaningful for her.
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Men who "propose" to their wives are invariably betas who get divorce raped
12-21-2013, 06:54 PM
Whether you bend the knee when proposing doesn't sound like a very good predictor of future marital instability. It's a relatively trivial thing. Even guys who are alpha might do this, despite being totally dominant in every other aspect of the relationship.
I respectfully disagree with the original post.
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Men who "propose" to their wives are invariably betas who get divorce raped
12-21-2013, 07:11 PM
^^^ I agree with Consul above. Some just do it reflexively out of tradition.
On a tangential note, I heard the President once refer to his wife as "the woman who allowed me to marry her". I cringed when I heard him say that. Before I swallowed the red pill nothing about that would've struck me as odd. Couldn't imagine Vladimir Putin saying something like that.
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Men who "propose" to their wives are invariably betas who get divorce raped
12-24-2013, 01:11 PM
for the rest of her life? Do even the most romantic of women still see it as for life anymore? I think marriage is seen long-term relationships used to be seen in the past, and hookup arrangements are filling the gap the short-term relationships left.
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Men who "propose" to their wives are invariably betas who get divorce raped
12-24-2013, 02:19 PM
^
Great point. Most western women arent going in to marriage with the idea of being with someone until death especially if they are not overly religious. More likely even the good ones are only looking to stay married until the kids move out and then become a single cougar like she sees on tv.
"I'm not afraid of dying, I'm afraid of not trying. Everyday hit every wave, like I'm Hawaiian"
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Men who "propose" to their wives are invariably betas who get divorce raped
12-25-2013, 12:37 PM
I wonder if we are going to see beta males in gay marriage and divorce rape etc.
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Men who "propose" to their wives are invariably betas who get divorce raped
12-25-2013, 01:04 PM
after my girlfriend was pregnant, one night in bed, i just looked over at her and said, lets get married. she said of course!
i got her a nice ring, but nothing too crazy. quality over quantity ($3500).
then i told her, we're never getting married
and she said, of course!
so now we're just permanently engaged. her sister got engaged and married since our "engagement"
guess its been about 18-20 months now
not a single plan in the works
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Men who "propose" to their wives are invariably betas who get divorce raped
12-25-2013, 02:08 PM
Quote: (12-25-2013 01:43 PM)iknowexactly Wrote:
Quote: (12-25-2013 01:04 PM)reaper23 Wrote:
after my girlfriend was pregnant, one night in bed, i just looked over at her and said, lets get married. she said of course!
i got her a nice ring, but nothing too crazy. quality over quantity ($3500).
then i told her, we're never getting married
and she said, of course!
so now we're just permanently engaged. her sister got engaged and married since our "engagement"
guess its been about 18-20 months now
not a single plan in the works
cool way to sustain a main chick... their reflex loyalty to the symbol is strong, and it chases me away as a player.
I'm assuming you kept the kid, so she's got a lot of security there in the isa, but you aren't cutting her in for half of all future earnings i don't think...lawyers....?
kid brings child support obligations married or otherwise
common law marriage only occurs if both parties hold each other out as husband/wife and intend to be married
pretty sure i'm good
plus we keep totally separate bank accounts and then contribute to a joint account. nice system
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Men who "propose" to their wives are invariably betas who get divorce raped
12-25-2013, 03:41 PM
I agree that getting on one knee is an indication that there is something wrong with the man.
Before we got married, I would always joke with my wife and tell her I was going to knock her up. She of course would hint that she wanted to get married first and I'd pretend not to get what she was hinting at. I pretended I thought she wanted a pendant. I even bought her a pendant once to fuck with her.
When I "proposed" I was joking with her that I was going to knock her up and she of course hinted that she wanted to get married. I asked if she wanted another pendant as I pulled the ring out and held it in front of her. I never asked her to marry me, I merely implied that I would marry her; I already knew she was mine.
It was in a classically romantic location but I never got on one knee. We were just walking side by side.
I've got the dick so I make the rules.
-Project Pat
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Men who "propose" to their wives are invariably betas who get divorce raped
12-25-2013, 03:42 PM
Quote: (12-25-2013 02:45 PM)Vitriol Wrote:
Quote: (12-25-2013 02:08 PM)reaper23 Wrote:
common law marriage only occurs if both parties hold each other out as husband/wife and intend to be married
Just to be clear on this, there are only nine states in the U.S. where common law marriage can happen: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common-law_...ted_States
I see guys in the manosphere getting hysterical and saying "if you live with a girl for a few years it's a common law marriage and you're going to get raped." There's usually nothing to worry about.
yes and there is no time period involved. basically, in these states, if you want both want to be married and you tell everyone you are - you are in fact married then.
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Men who "propose" to their wives are invariably betas who get divorce raped
12-25-2013, 05:38 PM
Hmmm...I think it can send a certain message to a woman by acting submissively when asking for her hand. I think if you ask her to marry you in a fashion that suggests that you love, care and value her minus the submission may send a different message. Marriage is a shaky proposition from jump, regardless of how you ask, but I'd rather let her know from the beginning that I'm not submitting to anything - I'm deciding that you're the person I want to enter into a partnership with. You can do that without it being devoid of the romance that women want, and at the same time not looking like a simp. I'd be more concerned about the chicks that demand that an engagement ring be a certain amount of carats. Or the ones that run to a jeweler with the ring you gave her to have it appraised. Those types are probably the ones you'd need to worry about.
I'm a major proponent of men laying out from the beginning who they are, and what's important to them without negotiation. One of my friends, who just celebrated his tenth anniversary, is that guy. He's strong, without being an abusive dick. When they were dating, he made it clear that certain things were important to him, and those things wouldn't change. He likes getting up early on Saturday to go to the gym. ALONE. That's his thing, and it isn't negotiable. He was heavy at one point (not sloppy fat, but carrying more weight than he wanted), but lost a ton of weight. He travels frequently for business, so he gets away. He also told her he didn't like wearing rings, so he wouldn't wear the wedding ring a whole lot. He even lost one, and had to have it replaced. She learned and accepted these things, and they have a strong relationship. She even goes to the gym alone for her own workouts. They take occasional separate vacations. When together, he's a great husband. They both make decent coin, and have a great brownstone, and a vacation home in the country. She posted on FB today that while they were driving to his parents' home for Christmas, he turned to her and laid out all the ways he'd improved as a husband and man, and told her how thankful she should be! He was kind of joking, but not really. But she knows it's true, and she accepts that as the man she married. They have a great life together, and she knows it. He chose well, and so did she.
"The best kind of pride is that which compels a man to do his best when no one is watching."
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Men who "propose" to their wives are invariably betas who get divorce raped
12-25-2013, 06:10 PM
No matter how great your wife is or how alpha you are it doesn't change the fact that marriage is a submission to a completely different lifestyle, a completely different spiritual outlook and a redefinition of your life and responsibilities. It's not easy. I know many people who have made it work by saying "I do" by themselves in the hot tub. For me, if it weren't for the public promise to God and the rest of the rigamarole, I probably wouldn't have made it.
An honest society places huge emphasis on the seriousness of marriage because it is serious, and should be entered seriously because it can be a real bitch and often demands tremendous sacrifice to last. These sacrifices wouldn't have survived a hot tub ceremony for me, but I know they can for others.
I agree that if you don't think you can propose without getting on bended knee something may be wrong. But if you choose to do so for whatever reason, no big deal. At the very least it might be a reminder to yourself that you're stepping into a situation in which there's going to be a lot of dog shit along with the ice cream.
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Men who "propose" to their wives are invariably betas who get divorce raped
12-25-2013, 08:11 PM
I agree with this 10,000%.
An alpha friend of mine got married recently, except nobody knew about it until months later.
He just casually mentioned "his wife" in conversation and cracked me up.
No wedding, no Facebook update, no honeymoon, no fuss.
They just went to the local town hall and signed the papers.
And of course he didn't get down on one knee!
If you have to get married, keep this example in mind. This is the way to do it gentlemen.
P.S. She is Japanese. They still make good wives in this part of the world and he wanted kids.
PM me for accommodation options in Bangkok.
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12-25-2013, 08:15 PM
^^^ To add to the above, my friend's wife doesn't even know his salary. Fucking classic stuff.
PM me for accommodation options in Bangkok.
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Men who "propose" to their wives are invariably betas who get divorce raped
12-26-2013, 03:32 AM
In the minority here, but I really don't care about what other men do regarding their proposals.