[WestIndianArchie]

God, if I could only get laid.
You'd think Jehovah would just send you a piece from time to time.
You're not a bad person.

Somehow you found this forum and started taking some of our advice.

Dress Better - Check
Start working right and eating out - Check
Read a couple chapters of Bang and a few blog posts - Check

Then you hit the town. Charged up with your new knowledge of how to bang women, you expect tonight will be your lucky night.

Except that when you get to the bar, there's a line.
And then they want a cover charge
The music is awful
The liquor is expensive
And then the hot chicks are few in between.
Even the marginal chicks are being attacked by chodes and jocks.

No problem, there's always the next bar, there's always the next night.

Eventually you find places where the fish are biting.
Everything is really starting to come together.

6 months into your transformation, you're no longer "getting lucky", you've got an eagle eye that sees all the body language "tells", you notice the eye contact..you know what to do. You're getting bangs. Cute chicks, maybe some marginal bitches, 1 or 2 stunners.

Approach anxiety is still there, but it's manageable. You don't need a rock solid opener, cause anything will do. Shoes look right, and you'll never wear another shirt that isn't slim fit. Even if the body fat percentage is a little high, and you feel like should ease up on the drinking - you're on top of the world.

If a chick rejects your first advances, it just rolls of your back. These chicks that you meet, they're essentially commodities. Like the sweetest apple, you cherish each bite, but you know that you can go to the grocery store and buy another Honey Crisp at $2.19 a lb.

And just like the movies, you come across a chick that you now really want, and now think that you deserve.

Maybe it's a chick in class with you, at your job, in your mosque, lives in your neighborhood, someone from your past....

She isn't a commodity. Maybe she's particularly beautiful. Maybe she has some combination of hobbies and interests that complement your own. Maybe you feel like she "gets" you on some level.

Whoever this chick is, she has your number. Without her even knowing it, you've become fixated on bedding her.

So reaching back into your months of success, you come at her with your new found game.

Oh, she wants to play hard to get. Some text tag.
You try to "play the game"
Your facebook check ins always have you at the hottest spots
You post pics of you, your bros, and chicks having fun.
Your tweets are "cool"

You're still bagging broads, even some decent hotties

All the while your target, your focus, is seeing what you're doing, cheering you on, maybe a little jealous - but you can't tell. You have inklings, but you can't be sure.

The lines of communication are open. It's not like you haven't tried to get with her.

A year ago, you were refreshing Xvideos every 10 minutes hoping that somebody uploaded a new vid from Brazzers.

Now, you're a semi-successful player, a few chicks you can call for some "entertainment", dressing better, feeling better physically, even your professional and academic life is getting a boost.

But there's this one special girl, and you can't seem to get at her.

What do you do?
How do you handle it?

Wasn't game supposed to solve this problem for me?

WIA

[This Is Trouble]

Eventually game teaches you that no girl is special. Because if you treat her as such, you'll lose her.

Game solves the problem of never getting into that situation to begin with.

Unfortunately there are relapses at times...they sting a bit.

[Giovonny]

The point of game is to empower you to be able to get that girl.

If you want that particular girl, you must focus all of your knowledge and experience on to getting THAT girl.

I mean, have you talked to this girl? Have you tried to hang out with her?

How do you know she is "special" is you haven't even spent time with her yet???

If you want her, you must go after her.

Game is just a tool. A tool can not solve a problem. A man must USE THE TOOL properly in order to solve the problem.

[Christian McQueen]

Go aggressive.

Text:

You: u and me. Drinks tmrw nite. 930.

Her: blah blah blah

That's why I advocate highly sexual, in your face game because if she's into she's going to bite. If she's not, fuckit and move on.

I'm too damn busy to waste time/energy on chasing a broad or playing too many 'games', but that's just me.

[Samseau]

Dude, even when you do get that one special girl, it's just the beginning of a new set of problems.

[Feo]

fucking bitch sluts...lol

But seriously, it sucks. And it's the worse when you know you could do better than the chick you want...all you want to say to her is "Do you KNOW the types of girls I'm getting with??"

I'd say I go through this at least once per year for a couple weeks.

[j r]

Unrequited love is self-indulgent emo bullshit. What makes a girl special is that she returns your love. If she doesn't, move on. That's it. There's no other answer.

[Doctore]

It's all in your head. She's not special, and she doesn't like you as much as you think. Most likely she doesn't like you at all, else she'd have gone out of her way to meet up with you considering this: "The lines of communication are open. It's not like you haven't tried to get with her."

[Laner]

Quote:

She isn't a commodity. Maybe she's particularly beautiful. Maybe she has some combination of hobbies and interests that complement your own. Maybe you feel like she "gets" you on some level.

Whoever this chick is, she has your number. Without her even knowing it, you've become fixated on bedding her.

I think there is a bit of beta-soulmate-take-care-of-the-bitch mentality in all of us. Or is this Alpha™?

So if a man is going to spend time chasing one woman, he better be damned sure she is going to compliment his life rather than complicate it.

Quote:

What do you do?
How do you handle it?

Wasn't game supposed to solve this problem for me?

What do I do? I spend a bit of time trying to build some passive attraction toward me. When the timing is right, go direct. Or if I just met her, again go direct.

How do I handle it? I try to see myself through the eyes of my lover. When things are complicated, I at least get to see if I am making mistakes or acting out of sorts. If the woman truly is worth working my ass off for, then I will use the situation 100% to my advantage to better myself.

Nothing like the swagger and smile of a man that just landed some damn good pussy after a lot of hard work.

Quote:

Most likely she doesn't like you at all, else she'd have gone out of her way to meet up with you

No. Women do not approach. Especially ones of "all around high quality".

[Doctore]

There's no approaching, mate. They already know each other for a while, and he's tried many times to meet up with her. If she likes him, she'd hint at something, and show up when he invites her.

[Jura]

Quote:

Maybe she's particularly beautiful. Maybe she has some combination of hobbies and interests that complement your own. Maybe you feel like she "gets" you on some level.

The only advise I could give to anyone who is "pedestaling" a girl is to go aggressive (as other posters have pointed out already). If she's in, then good; if not, you're fixed and no time has been wasted.

[JimNortonFan]

You told me not to get boneritis. Don't get oneitis. Jacking to porn is problematic. Gaming sluts is problematic. LTR is problematic. Marriage is problematic. Divorce is problematic.

Which set of problems do you want?

Gaming women is just like fishing. Guys get good at it and get bored then have to find new reasons to do it. Imagine you get the Bang or that she's your gf or wife. How much better will your life be then, if at all? How much worse will it be if she screws you over? So what if you catch the double digit bass? You throw it back and your life was the same as it was before.

You know the best feeling in the world for me and a lot of guys? The anticipation of driving to the lake/river, walking up to it to see the lay of the land and water and imagining all the fish in it.

No matter what I catch it's always a let down from the anticipation.

Best part of sex for me? Jerking it to the memories. (Me and Patrice O'Neal).

My advice is to go for this one. Play out the string and report back on how you did and how you felt about all of it. I for one would love to know. My guess is the best parts will be the anticipation and the memories.

I envy guys who can enjoy the experience itself.

Rambling here but hope there's something in here that helps.

[WestIndianArchie]

(10-23-2013 11:41 PM)JimNortonFan Wrote:  

You told me not to get boneritis. Don't get oneitis. Jacking to porn is problematic. Gaming sluts is problematic. LTR is problematic. Marriage is problematic. Divorce is problematic.

Which set of problems do you want?

Gaming women is just like fishing. Guys get good at it and get bored then have to find new reasons to do it. Imagine you get the Bang or that she's your gf or wife. How much better will your life be then, if at all? How much worse will it be if she screws you over? So what if you catch the double digit bass? You throw it back and your life was the same as it was before.

You know the best feeling in the world for me and a lot of guys? The anticipation of driving to the lake/river, walking up to it to see the lay of the land and water and imagining all the fish in it.

No matter what I catch it's always a let down from the anticipation.

Best part of sex for me? Jerking it to the memories. (Me and Patrice O'Neal).

My advice is to go for this one. Play out the string and report back on how you did and how you felt about all of it. I for one would love to know. My guess is the best parts will be the anticipation and the memories.

I envy guys who can enjoy the experience itself.

Rambling here but hope there's something in here that helps.

This post is a thought exercise.

Hopefully it helps anyone who reads it. Gets them to think about the point of "having game" and what it means.

This post is a meta-response to all of the "there's this one special girl" or "omg, what do I do with this text" that are the bread and butter of the Newbie section.

Lotta good takeaways so far.

WIA

[PhilE]

I've always felt I had a strong frame.

My frame is built on non delusional confidence. I graduated 2nd in my class. I did motivational seminars for a bit, mostly for youth and young adults. I did improv comedy for a small time and killed. I started a couple businesses (one defunct but was grossing 500k before it was shut down and one currently active). Im 6'1". I've been considered a pretty boy/model type MANY times. So my confidence/frame, in my opinion, was always solid.

But I never got the woman I wanted. I got all the 6s, 7s, occasional 8's, but never the elusive 9+ Not without a crutch. Crutches to me are really expensive cars, jewelry, fame etc. Don't get me wrong, I understand that these things are needed somewhat living here in the states. But my issue is that for every 8 or 9 I get with the crutch, is a guy fucking her without it. And most of the times those guys: are shorter, significantly less attractive than I am, less intelligent, and less humorous. But what i quickly realized is that Non-delusional self confidence is no match for delusional self confidence.

Sometimes delusional self confidence is called swag but swag is the manifestation of it. The difference between delusional and non-delusional is perception of perfection. Its a saying in sales "1% doubt and your out" meaning if you have even 1% doubt in yourself or your product you will loose to the salesman who does not. EVERY TIME!. Non delusional is based on facts, things you can physically hold your hat on and say "Look here are the numbers, here is why I am confident in this area." you analyze the things you are good in and things you are bad in and as long as the good items out weigh the bad you feel confident. Delusional is the opposite...delusional doesn't tally anything because in EVERYTHING they are either perfect, will be perfect, or that category doesn't mean shit.

And when it comes to women and sales....anything in the top tier....1 % doubt and your out. A guy with delusional self confidence will ALWAYS make the sale...because he see no other reason why he wont. Non delusional self confidence if you can see a reason, no matter how small (1%) of why it is possible you WONT make the sale. And that is the difference.

Whenever I see an 8/9+ I always remind myself that it is some shorter, chubbier, less intelligent, less attractive guy fucking her because he has no reason to believe he can't.

Game can get you to fuck the 6s, 7s, and occasional 8s. But frame....delusional self confidence or an extremely strong frame....is what will get 9+s

In my opinion of course

[pitt]

Just like Mcqueens I also get very sexual right at the beginning. I invite her straight to my house, no cinema and no dinners before a kiss or a bang (If she kissed me already, I may take her out if she is all that and I feel that she is in the bag).

I don't see her as special, I know the anticipation feeling is always greater than the bang, I neg her and I try to close.

I treat her just like the average girl, she wants to put out fine, acting like she is princess Diana and is not responding to my moves, bitch I am out. Always show her that you have options and that you really don't give a fuck about the outcome.

PhilE great post as always, we need a thread here that shows who are the top 9's and 10's dating. You seem to know the music and modelling industry pretty well.

[Giovonny]

(10-24-2013 02:53 AM)PhilE Wrote:  

Non-delusional self confidence is no match for delusional self confidence.

I love this.

"Non-delusional self confidence" can hold you back. Why? Because its based on reality. Thats sounds funny but think about it.. Other guys have confidence that is NOT based on reality, it's based on their own imagination, they think they are God's gift to the world, they really believe it. They live it and breathe it. It might be fake but it can become real if they AUTHENTICALLY believe it. Sometimes, its better to be slightly delusional than 100% real.

I first learned this from an NBA coach. He said that the NBA players who make it have ridiculous levels of confidence. Often times, the confidence is not even based in reality. They just believe that they are special and it comes across in their actions. It allows them to make shots in front of thousands of screaming fans. Players who are realistic about their abilities often struggle when the ESPN cameras and lights come out. Better to have an inflated or unrealistic belief in yourself.

It's true, the greatest athletes and playboys I know delusional levels of self belief.

Most of my success in life is due to my own delusions! Lol!

Crazy but true!

[Too_Gallus]

This post has pretty much described my life.
I feel like im top of the world, I love my life, my lifestyle and what I do on a daily basis but id probably drop it all for this 1 particual chick. only her, and she is just not for having it.

[DVY]

@JimNortonFan- I agree, 90% of the sex is just mechanical. A routine I run- the same positions, grab her, pull her, touch her, lick her. What I enjoy the most---a good BJ. I can just relax and bust in her mouth.

[JimNortonFan]

I think a lot of guys would like to have a woman who really loves them. Maybe they won't admit it or they will admit to wanting it when younger and the lack of it led them here.

Post after post shows it's not real. It's a chemical reaction in the brain. I fell hard for my ex gf and we're simply not compatible. We were both abused and neglected as kids so when our eyes met we knew it was destiny for us to be together. She was madly in love from the first time she talked to me and when I manhandled her some in our first sexual encounter she was ready to get married and have kids. She made me think she liked me for me and at first she did but as we got to know each other there were cracks in the facade. We were banging 3-5 times a day for several weeks straight and were with each other for days at a time with only bathroom breaks. As soon as she found out I wouldn't submit to the system to make a pile of money and that she couldn't Game me into doing so she started seeing other guys behind my back. This is after she told me I was the best thing that ever happened to her, that she wanted to have my babies, that I was the ultimate stud, she never imagined she could love like this, etc. It's all BS with women. It didn't help that I wanted her approval.

It's a business deal and it always has been. If you can get a deal with a pleasant partner lucky you, but in the end it's business. That's why I don't agree with the hate for P4P on this forum. It's business.

To make this more relevant to the OP, Gordon Gekko said never get emotional about a stock. He said that because stocks are business. Oneitis and Boneritis are getting overly emotional about business.

[cpark]

(10-23-2013 06:31 PM)McQueensPlayboyRules Wrote:  

That's why I advocate highly sexual, in your face game because if she's into she's going to bite. If she's not, fuckit and move on.

This tactic would depend on how open the girl is too. Some girls like to take it slow, others fast, others in between.

The problem I dont understand about girls is that if theyre willing to meet you a 2nd time, why dont they meet with you a 3rd time? Seriously, this has to be addressed more since its a huge problem in the PUA community.

[Kimber]

Game is supposed to give you the abundance mentality that stops you from getting hooked on one particular girl.
Game forces your hand and polarises a girl into a fuck yes or a no.
Game is plate theory, you either have another special chick or there will be another special chick right round the corner if this one falls through.
Game is knowing girls aren't that unique and different, and are very interchangeable.
You have game when you no longer have this problem.
You have game when you get the chick and keep the chick.
This is a wicked good post WIA, whether or not it relates to you.

[Parlay44]

The problem I have with my game is that my "spell" wears off. Game is very "in the moment".
I tend to lose girls that I truly like and want to GF up to men of higher status. Looking back
these girls were in the 26-30 age range which is prime for husband shopping.

Yeah I can charm them and get in their pants but when money comes along I become option b.

That's why I tend to pursue younger women. To them I am money and I can recycle my old material
and they eat it up.

[CTking]

You can get that girl. You just gotta go out with hundreds if not thousands of girls before you find one whos worthy.

[Que enspastic]

To bang hot girls.