[marksmiles]

Oil or Powder?

[horn]

'I dreamt you were banging me from behind while I was going down on Britney Spears.' -- just got this one.

[JackDavey]

Once a chick I was banging came over unannounced because she figured out I had another one over. She pounded on the door just as my load was getting swallowed. I answered and she went blah blah "I don't want to be one of your bitches!" Me: "So stop being a bitch." Her "...........so what are you doing later?"

Last summer I took a regular out for a hike and was pounding her on a boulder out of sight of the path. She looked me straight in the eyes while getting off and said "You are my god." That was exciting, but creepy.

Chick texts me from work: "I just went in the stockroom and fingered myself thinking about sucking you off".

My all time favorite: "Don't talk to me like that!" Ten minutes later I'm pulling her hair, smacking and fucking her ass and she agrees "I'll be your slut!"

[MrXY]

Recently, as I was about to break plane of pussy to claim my notch

Noooo...nooo.....no,no,no,no,no!..........ooooohhhhhhh.............yeeeaaahhhhhh​..............

[pointbreak]

"You're the worst". With a smile.

[horn]

(11-21-2013 11:50 AM)pointbreak Wrote:  

"You're the worst". With a smile.

Oh yeah. I get that sometimes along with lots of 'You're so mean!' [squeeeeee]

[hardman]

From various girls I've found online:

"Here's the thing... I want to meet you. In the flesh. What do you think?"

"I forgot to tell you that I had a dream about you last night... " and many variations thereof.

"All you need to know is that I don't have any tan lines."

"I can't stop thinking about how fun last night was."

[Remington]

I was with my Peruvian fb last night, she speaks very broken English and this was a small convo we had last night:

Me: "Let's get started, I need to get home soon."
Her: "Me give you a head?"
Me: "What?"
Her: "Want me give you a head?"
Me: *lightbulb comes on* "Oh, uh yea, give me a head."

She needs some practice...for English and for BJs.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

Hah, that's what happens when someone absorbs slang of a language before actually learning it. If she had said "Me give you blowjob" or "Me you fellatio", there would have been no misunderstanding.

[casio]

After banging her for a few hours:

"thank you, I really really needed this"

[Floss]

"The test came back negative."

[Floss]

(10-22-2013 12:07 PM)McQueensPlayboyRules Wrote:  

Apparently every player on this board has a big cock.

Haha.

Seems so. I have an average dick at 6.5'', 7 on a good day. But girls have told me I'm great in bed and a freak and all that. I just get into it and I like to get rough. Like, I'll choke her with her own belt and do weird positions and shit like that. I always thought that was pretty normal though. Maybe I've seen too much porn.

[soup]

I've heard something along the lines of this a few times:

"What was that!.. I didn't know I could do that!"

[Barada22]

"Cum in my ass"

[runsonmagic]

First two text messages with a girl from OKC:

Me: "I'm back in town Friday. Let's meetup then."
Her: "I can't meetup Friday, I have a gangbang then."

I shit you not.

[Mon]

"It would consider it selfish & un-feminine to NOT share you with other women."

[Mon]

(11-30-2013 12:11 PM)Mon Wrote:  

"It would consider it selfish & un-feminine to NOT share you with other women."

That should've said, "I (not 'It') would consider it selfish & un-feminine to NOT share you with other women."

GODDMAN 60-MINUTE EDIT WINDOW

[horn]

Let's go to the Rhino.'

[Flavius Aetius]

Favorite thing girl said when I took her anal virginity.

"no, I don't do that......it hurts.......................oh god don't stop"

[TheDealCloser]

I've heard this many times.

"You're so intimidating. I've never met a man with as much confidence as you."

"Your girlfriend likes girls... Is she here?"

[MrXY]

From yesterday afternoon in a hotel room:

"Wow, I can wrap both hands around it!"

"You're so beautiful it's almost sickening"

[birdrussell]

1)i hate feminist
2fuck it just cum inside me
3)i love how hard you fuck me
4)its been so long since I've came twice
5)i know i said id never have sex with you again but we're on vacation now.

[jariel]

"Every time I see you, I'm going to suck your balls."

[007]

"Terrorista de buscetta" (you pussy terrorist) after I ransacked a brazilian chick . That's by far the funniest thing a girl has said to me.

"You're a bastard" - after multiple orgasms
"I'm trembling (whilst crying)" - after multiple orgasms
"I just had a mini orgasm" - dirty talk on the phone whilst she was on a train.
"You're just a baby, how do you know these things?" - I hear this from milfs quite a few times

"I think I love you" - first time shag

Some of this shit is just too funny hahah. But entertaining and somewhat satisfying.

[ikkyu]

"I feel totally hollow...in a good way" - after a serious ass pounding

"i can't even tell if i'm coming or not"

"i'm like a delicious twinkie" - post-creampie

"did you cum in me? I'm really wet I can't tell" (answer was no)

"fuck off cat, I'm cock worshipping" - interrupted by pet

"you're not a bad guy but you can be a really condescending asshole" - honesty

"i hate fat chicks. it's not cause of their fat bodies it's their fat personalities" - insight

"before i go teabag me for good luck"

"i had a dream your dick shot rum raisin ice cream"

"oh don't worry it's good pain"

Favorite exchange of the month:
"i'm sorry"
- huh? what are you apologizing for
"being a crazy bitch earlier"
- oh I honestly didn't notice I'm used to much worse
"thanks I guess"