[ladderff]

Here is an exchange of messages on okcupid taking place over about an hour on Tuesday night. I'm in italics and the first message is out of the blue from this girl who says she's a matchmaker and by golly I'd be perfect for her client.

Quote:

Helloooooo, you cerebral dreamboat! You might be just the man I'm looking for.

I'm Boon. I'm a professional matchmaker.

I'm currently working with a sweet-as-can-be Georgia peach. She values empathy and moral fiber above all the normal smoke and mirrors of the dating world. If you're as thoughtful as you make yourself out to be, you two could be really wonderful together.

Let me know if you're open to this adventure, so we can set up a meeting!

Fate loves the fearless.

xo
Boon A.K. Rhea
Tawkify Dating Sherpa
(Google us -- it's hella legit.)

Ok.

Fantaaaaaastic. This week is unfortunately pretty crazy for me. I could do something in the vicinity of Midtown East at 4 on Thursday. Or anywhere in the 3 - 7 range on Saturday.

Feel free to text me at 917-741-5641 or e-mail me at [email protected].

So, what: you're going to meet me and vet me?

Exactly. Can't be shoving any ol' hominoid in front of my illustrious client.

That doesn't work for me.

What doesn't? Meeting me first? Or the times I proposed?


Meeting you. I'm not auditioning for an audition for a part I don't even know I want, if you'll indulge my metaphor.

Because getting a drink with me is suuuuch a task? OK, I'm guessing that finding someone who makes your heart pop isn't high up on your list of priorities. Suit yourself.

You should get a drink with my matchmaker first; let me see when he's free.

Hardy har har. I know it's a strange concept, this matchmaking thing, but my clients simply don't have the time to be going on horrible first dates.

I'm not here to talk you in to anything. My client is the full package -- intelligent, caring, successful, and drop dead gorgeous -- she could have anybody. It's my job to find someone who's right for her, someone who's actually on her level. I simply suspected you might be worthy of her glory. Sorry if I offended your sensibilities.

Sorry about shitty formatting. My messages are in italics.

How do you think I handled this? Is my gut feeling that meeting this matchmaker (she had her own okc profile, she's 23, fat, ugly, uses words like 'intersectionality' and 'sex-positive') would be a total waste of time correct (and that assuming that it's even legit)?

[aphelion]

You have both of your kidneys still, so at least there's that.

[Parlay44]

Quote:

it's hella legit

Sounds it

Quote:

My client is the full package -- intelligent, caring, successful, and drop dead gorgeous -- she could have anybody. It's my job to find someone who's right for her, someone who's actually on her level. I simply suspected you might be worthy of her glory.

Did I mention she's 45?

Quote:

It's my job to find someone who's right for her

See here's the problem^^. She's shopping for a man when she should be trying to sell herself to a potential husband. It's the men who do the shopping. It's the men who propose marriage. She's got it backwards.

[Basil Ransom]

What I would've done:

Politely ask for the girl's info and photos. If she's cute, tell the matchmaker you want to talk to the girl on the phone briefly to get a sense of your compatibility. If that goes well, schedule a date with the girl.

Sensible, cuts out the bullshit, minimal time expenditure. Requires decent phone game.

[aphelion]

I checked out Tawkify. It seems legit on its own merit.

But.

What doesn't seem legit is that a young, attractive woman would spend a lot of money on a matchmaking site. So you're probably dealing with damaged goods. That's my thought.

[Parlay44]

(09-26-2013 12:42 PM)aphelion Wrote:  

I checked out Tawkify. It seems legit on its own merit.

But.

What doesn't seem legit is that a young, attractive woman would spend a lot of money on a matchmaking site. So you're probably dealing with damaged goods. That's my thought.

I've watched a few of these matchmaking shows on TV. This one woman in particular stuck in my mind. She was a decent looking but mid to late 30's woman working in fashion in NYC who couldn't find a husband to save her life. The matchmaker lady she was using kept sending her guys that were interested in her but she kept rejecting them for trivial things like ...ohh he lives in NJ ...he's too short ...he makes less than 150k. At some point you have to settle sweetheart.

There's a saying that goes ...Men always marry their dream girl and women always settle.

[Courage Reborn]

Loved the comebacks OP. Definitely handled your biz.

Going out with the matchmaker was primarily just so she could pitch her services to you, in person. Secondarily, she was attracted to you.

[Ensam]

This gives me a great idea for some next level sugarbaby game.

Setup on OKC (or POF) account and message girls telling them you're a matchmaker for a powerful figure who doesn't have time to do online dating himself. Maybe even use a female account. Get the girl invested then tell her that your client wants to meet her in a discrete hotel bar and run standard game from there.

[aphelion]

(09-26-2013 01:48 PM)Ensam Wrote:  

This gives me a great idea for some next level sugarbaby game.

Setup on OKC (or POF) account and message girls telling them you're a matchmaker for a powerful figure who doesn't have time to do online dating himself. Maybe even use a female account. Get the girl invested then tell her that your client wants to meet her in a discrete hotel bar and run standard game from there.

"In fact, he's so busy he wants me to date you and fuck you with my dick."

[iknowexactly]

(09-26-2013 12:35 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

Quote:

it's hella legit

Sounds it

Quote:

My client is the full package -- intelligent, caring, successful, and drop dead gorgeous -- she could have anybody. It's my job to find someone who's right for her, someone who's actually on her level. I simply suspected you might be worthy of her glory.

Did I mention she's 45?

Quote:

It's my job to find someone who's right for her

See here's the problem^^. She's shopping for a man when she should be trying to sell herself to a potential husband. It's the men who do the shopping. It's the men who propose marriage. She's got it backwards.

you got this right. the "matchmaker" sounds 16 and the client 61.

"hella" and to some extent "legit" is idiot teen talk, especially if you're talking to an educated professional.

[SlickyBoy]

Just saw an ad for this service pop up in my Instagram feed. It's exactly the joke you'd think it is. One look at the 70 year old female founder and you can imagine the clientele- NOT twenty something hotties.

[questor70]

(09-26-2013 02:32 PM)aphelion Wrote:  

(09-26-2013 01:48 PM)Ensam Wrote:  

This gives me a great idea for some next level sugarbaby game.

Setup on OKC (or POF) account and message girls telling them you're a matchmaker for a powerful figure who doesn't have time to do online dating himself. Maybe even use a female account. Get the girl invested then tell her that your client wants to meet her in a discrete hotel bar and run standard game from there.

"In fact, he's so busy he wants me to date you and fuck you with my dick."

Seriously, though, the above tactic is nothing new. It's a variation on roadie game. Fuck the roadie to be granted access to the rock star. Of course, that's with a real person.

[jselysianeagle]

Matchmaking services largely suck. Even moderately desirable men and women have no use for them, leaving only the unattractive ones in their pool.

[Ringo]

Laner has posted a great story and follow up in this thread when he was approached by a matchmaker years a go. Apparently they did set him up with interesting girls. Very worth a read.

[SlickyBoy]

Damn, great thread - sounds like it worked well for him, at least for a little while. Based on his later experiences, I'm guessing most of the women are old, unattractive and unmarketable. That asshole Jewish lawyer chick - yikes. Anybody else unfortunate enough to pay anything to be lectured by some condescending cunt deserves a refund.

Would be curious to know just how well these businesses really do. Tawkify (stupid-assed name, but whatever) is apparently partnering up with Amazon and charges a hundred bucks a month over at the Amazon site. This, from their FAQ:

Quote:

Since being chosen as the exclusive dating partner for Amazon.com, we are rapidly expanding throughout the US.

And didn't Laner's original contact with the matchmaker happen at a Whole Foods, which is now part of Amazon? Hm....

If they can perfect the art of drone-dropping a willing 7+ with some Whole Foods chow and a six pack into a client's place in 30 minutes or less, they'll do well.

[John Michael Kane]

If one of you guys gets contacted by one of these types again, go on the date for cryin' out loud! It would make for a hilarious ROK article and garner Uncle Roosh a boatload of clicks.

[SlickyBoy]

^to see a ROK article like that pop up on page one of a Google search for matchmaking services would be priceless!