I used to live in Fort Lee and would commute all the way to Brooklyn for a shitty job. The commute took about 90 minutes each way. During rush hour the trains are crowded, it's hard to get a seat, and all of the panhandlers and subway performers start to get old REALLY fast. It got to the point where I'd just get MAD sitting on the train. I'd listen to music or read a book to pass the time, but it's hard for me to focus on a book when the train is so loud and shakes so much.
Eventually I quit that job, and not having to commute increased my quality of life significantly. These days I just live in NYC (when I'm not traveling), and made sure to just work from home so I'd never have to commute again. I can't even begin to emphasize how much you should not commute if you don't have to, or at least to keep your commute as short as possible.
If you're set on living in NJ over NY, honestly I'd just take a lower paying job to avoid that commute. And driving from NJ is about 20x more stressful and expensive than taking public transportation.
Eventually I quit that job, and not having to commute increased my quality of life significantly. These days I just live in NYC (when I'm not traveling), and made sure to just work from home so I'd never have to commute again. I can't even begin to emphasize how much you should not commute if you don't have to, or at least to keep your commute as short as possible.
If you're set on living in NJ over NY, honestly I'd just take a lower paying job to avoid that commute. And driving from NJ is about 20x more stressful and expensive than taking public transportation.