[Parlay44]

Does anyone here commute from NJ to NYC for work? If you want to make any kind of real money all the good paying jobs are in the city.

I'd like to stay in NJ if I can to be closer to family and friends but I'm getting lots of job offers coming my way to work doing programming in Manhattan. The money is almost double of what I can make in NJ.

My commute would be about 60 to 90 minutes each way by train to downtown near 21st street.

Has anyone done the commute for a significant amount of time? What are your experiences, Good vs Bad?

[TheBulldozer]

What are your thoughts on Hoboken, NJ City, or Weehawken? I feel like that would strike a balance for what you're looking for.

[Parlay44]

(09-18-2013 03:18 PM)MaleDefined Wrote:  

What are your thoughts on Hoboken, NJ City, or Weehawken? I feel like that would strike a balance for what you're looking for.

I live not to far from those locations. I'm right by the George Washington Bridge. I need to be in the Red Bank or Long Branch area. Both of which have train stops that go right to the city.

[Therapsid]

Parlay, don't do it.

You could be commuting three hours a day.

True, commuting by train to New York for an hour and a half isn't remotely as bad as driving even half that time down traffic logged roads in this part of the country. But it still sucks and eats up your day.

Of course, you can't put a price tag on being around family and close friends, but you could instead commute to them once or twice a week rather than do the train shift up to Penn Station Mon-Friday.

[Parlay44]

(09-18-2013 04:02 PM)Therapsid Wrote:  

Parlay, don't do it.

You could be commuting three hours a day.

I know. I know. I was thinking I could nap on the train and possibly work from home one or two days a week. I don't know all the details yet.

Problem is my kid lives in Monmouth and he's getting older now. I'd like to get some more time with him. Maybe two nights during the week.

My ideal setup would be to live and work near Red Bank. The money is hard to ignore though. We're talking like $100k.

I was hoping someone had some extra insight to this commuting lifestyle.

[PUA_Rachacha]

I commute every day from Westchester to GCT.

I used to commute from Hoboken to Park Ave.

If you're going to do it, I would look into taking a bus, which a lot of people do in the NJ burbs. The NJ trains are notoriously late and always full. You're going to have commuting nightmares all the time.

I have one colleague who lives on the Shore who takes the ferry from Highlands. He loves the commute.

If you have a wife and kids that you want to get away from, the commute is the best part of your day.

It sounds like you're a divorced dad with a teenage son. That means, your life is not super complicated or you're not being nagged daily by wife, kids, dog, etc. Thus, you're going to hate your commute because it'll complicate your nice life even more.

Money is not worth it unless you want to get away from your family. This doesn't sound like it's the case.

[Pyre]

Get an apt in NYC.

Get an apt there for the weekdays and if you want to go to NJ for the weekends keep your place there. It's not like you're going to be able to hang out with your family/friends during the weekdays anyway with that commute. Pretty much wake -> work -> eat -> sleep.

3 hours a day is 15 hours a week, damn that's a lotta time sitting on a train.

[MidniteSpecial]

Is driving in an option? If you pick up people at the gw bridge plaza you become a car pool person and only pay $4 rather than $13 for the tool. Little loop hole I found.

[Vitriol]

(09-18-2013 04:18 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

Problem is my kid lives in Monmouth and he's getting older now. I'd like to get some more time with him. Maybe two nights during the week.

I used to take NJtransit buses from Monmouth county to NYC a lot when I was younger. Problem is it can be 2-3 hours each way depending on traffic. Having to do that every single day would be horrific, I think NJ has some of the worst commute times in the country because everyone lives in some suburb and has to drive a long way to get to work.

There's a train in New Brunswick that goes through Elizabeth and Secaucus to NYC that was pretty efficient when I was living in that area, have you looked into it?

[Therapsid]

(09-18-2013 11:01 PM)Vitriol Wrote:  

I used to take NJtransit buses from Monmouth county to NYC a lot when I was younger. Problem is it can be 2-3 hours each way depending on traffic. Having to do that every single day would be horrific, I think NJ has some of the worst commute times in the country because everyone lives in some suburb and has to drive a long way to get to work.

There's a train in New Brunswick that goes through Elizabeth and Secaucus to NYC that was pretty efficient when I was living in that area, have you looked into it?

Good point. New Brunswick to the city is less than an hour - 45, 50 minutes. Much better than Red Bank or Long Branch. At the same time it's not too far from Monmouth County. And it's a good spot for college girls from Rutgers.

[Therapsid]

(09-18-2013 11:01 PM)Vitriol Wrote:  

I used to take NJtransit buses from Monmouth county to NYC a lot when I was younger. Problem is it can be 2-3 hours each way depending on traffic. Having to do that every single day would be horrific, I think NJ has some of the worst commute times in the country because everyone lives in some suburb and has to drive a long way to get to work.

There's a train in New Brunswick that goes through Elizabeth and Secaucus to NYC that was pretty efficient when I was living in that area, have you looked into it?

Good point. New Brunswick to the city is less than an hour - 45, 50 minutes. Much better than Red Bank or Long Branch. At the same time it's not too far from Monmouth County. And it's a good spot for college girls from Rutgers.

[Vaun]

My dream was to buy a house in Glen Rock. After my divorce it just made sense to get an apartment and stay in Manhattan. My daughter lives here too, and I am close to 50/50 time with her, so if I move to NJ that will become a lot more costly, and pretty unlikely. I have a great apt that I found a good deal for on the UES. Most of my sr. colleagues commute from NJ, CT, LI, SI and Brkl. Yes the money is worth it. If you can earn $100K more working in the city, I would do it. I hate to say it, but even if you spend a little less time with your child, you will be giving them a much more financially stable home, plus possibly a college education and legacy by earning more. I face that fact every day.

[Parlay44]

How much are we talking per month for a NYC apartment? I'm looking to work downtown.

[Vaun]

(09-19-2013 10:54 AM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

How much are we talking per month for a NYC apartment? I'm looking to work downtown.

1 bed, $1200 - $5000, depending on your neighborhood/building. Deals are out there, like anything you have to look.

[Akula]

I commuted for years to NYC - from Hoboken to Greenwich to the Upper West Side (ha ha no joke, used to live up by Columbia and it took me longer to get downtown than it did from Hoboken!).

It's usually a bit of a nightmare no matter where u are doing it from. I'd say NJ is ok, but if you are younger and want to enjoy the nightlife in NYC it sucks getting home late night, it just does. The work week is ok. But if you are out late on the weekends or even Thursday night it's not that convenient. Sure it looks close, but I can't tell you how many times I was cursing the PATH trains late night, or sitting in traffic for over an hour in a $60 cab ride home home in the Holland Tunnell at 4am, wishing I lived in Manhattan. That gets old fast.

[Parlay44]

I didn't realize the trains were so bad. I figured its on rails and there's no traffic. Should always be on time.

I have a phone interview tonight at 7. I'm hoping they have a part time telecommuting option. 2 days a week would be killer. It's programming. No reason why you couldn't work from home.

[Akula]

(09-19-2013 05:02 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

I didn't realize the trains were so bad. I figured its on rails and there's no traffic. Should always be on time.

I have a phone interview tonight at 7. I'm hoping they have a part time telecommuting option. 2 days a week would be killer. It's programming. No reason why you couldn't work from home.

The PATH blows...those trains come so infrequently/randomly late night. Commuter rail is ok during peak hours though, but late night you're on an hourly schedule for the most part I'd think. The Metro North line to CT sucks even more for commuter rail I'd say.

Won't this kill your logistics on the weekends? Or do you already have a pretty sweet harem/logistics setup??

Man, I miss NYC sometimes...just writing about this bring back a lot of good memories...

[Parlay44]

(09-19-2013 05:04 PM)Akula Wrote:  

(09-19-2013 05:02 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

I didn't realize the trains were so bad. I figured its on rails and there's no traffic. Should always be on time.

I have a phone interview tonight at 7. I'm hoping they have a part time telecommuting option. 2 days a week would be killer. It's programming. No reason why you couldn't work from home.

The PATH blows...those trains come so infrequently/randomly late night. Commuter rail is ok during peak hours though, but late night you're on an hourly schedule for the most part I'd think. The Metro North line to CT sucks even more for commuter rail I'd say.

Won't this kill your logistics on the weekends? Or do you already have a pretty sweet harem/logistics setup??

Man, I miss NYC sometimes...just writing about this bring back a lot of good memories...

Well my lease is up and I've been paying month to month anticipating a move once I got my job locked down. There's lots of things in the air right now.

[coolkid]

Lived in the Greater NY area a few years ago and had several friends in NJ, so I'm familiar with the trains. Here's my breakdown:

If you live in and around Jersey City, Harrison or Newark, take the PATH. Its relatively fast and pretty convenient. Its most useful during rush hours. ~$60 for a 30 day pass (when I was there, probably more now).

If you live anywhere else in Jersey, take the NJT. Not as good as PATH and certainly not nearly as frequent or reasonable (no x days pass, you have to pay ~$6 per trip, probably more now). But I wouldn't worry about commuting. I know of I-Bank MDs and top-notch traders who use NJT, so its definitely better than driving.

And you can always use buses to get to the stations. Just memorize the schedule for both trains and buses and you should be good.

NYC is expensive and so are rents. If you want to see your son regularly, I'd stay in North Jersey, its not too much of a hassle.

Hope that was helpful and hope the gig in NYC goes well.

[liveandlearn7]

I second the NJ buses. The NJ Transit rail sucks. I'm from Queens but have used both the buses and trains to chill with chicks from NJ. My commute from Northeastern Queens is about 20 min both ways during express trains and 30 min during regular hours to Penn Station. Including the subway, I commute about 90 minutes a day, sometimes more depending on how long everything takes to arrive and if there's problems on the rail or in the tunnels. It sucks, but this is what everyone does in NYC unless you have the money to live in Manhattan, Western Queens or Western Brooklyn. If you wanna stay in NJ, check out Hoboken though, has its own scene and is very close to the city. I also second that living in the outer boroughs and suburbs sucks when you are partying and need to get home. The LIRR only runs once an hour at night time, and I think the NJ Transit and Metro North is the same. It's also hard to swoop girls and get them to travel all the way back home to you, which is why I tend to stay in Queens a lot. Logistics for ONS's are just better.

[PUA_Rachacha]

(09-19-2013 05:04 PM)Akula Wrote:  

The PATH blows...those trains come so infrequently/randomly late night.

I've had the exact opposite experience: the PATH shows up like clockwork at the station, NJ Transit is constantly delayed and overcrowded. I guess you haven't commuted with it in a while.

Parlay, telecommuting 2x per week will make the job that much more palatable. Otherwise, I'd listen to the guys on here and either decline the job or move to the City. Hoboken/Jersey City would work better for you logistically (jump in a car and go see your child pretty quickly), but living in Manhattan would increase the quality and frequency of your lays.

OT: I'm in my mid 30s and haven't cavorted too much with the older cougars, but I've seen them out-and-about in the Upper East Side, getting drunk, wearing tight outfits, having pretty good plastic surgery. I get less-depressed getting old now and worrying about being single as I could see myself banging these chicks at least into my 60s, maybe even 70s. Some are still ridiculously hot.

[Parlay44]

Man if I didn't have a kid this would be a no brainer.
Take the job. Move to the city. Fly out to remote
locations on the weekends.

[Vaun]

(09-20-2013 12:37 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

Man if I didn't have a kid this would be a no brainer.
Take the job. Move to the city. Fly out to remote
locations on the weekends.

I had what I call a 'Moneyball' moment a few years ago when a startup I had helped found and build wanted me to move to be in there office, 500 miles away. I stayed for my child. I make about the same amount of money, I have her nearly 50% of the time, and its pretty flexible. Plus I live in the city.

(09-20-2013 12:37 PM)liveandlearn7 Wrote:  

I second the NJ buses.

Recently been seeing a girl in Weehawken. The bus is literally 10 minutes and $3 from the Port Authority, right outside of the tunnel in NJ and runs all night. A lot of people dont like Weehawken but the view from this chics place is one of the best of NYC. No nightlife there though, and nothing is walkable. Rents are cheap relative to NYC.

[playa_with_a_passport]

(09-18-2013 08:25 PM)Pyre Wrote:  

Get an apt in NYC.

Get an apt there for the weekdays and if you want to go to NJ for the weekends keep your place there. It's not like you're going to be able to hang out with your family/friends during the weekdays anyway with that commute. Pretty much wake -> work -> eat -> sleep.

Don't do this.

The only guys who I know who have one spot in NYC and one all up in the suburbs and their last name isn't Rockefeller, Vanderbilt or Bloomberg are the guys who lucked out and have rent controller apartments that they pay almost nothing for rent.

A market rate apartment in Manhattan plus expenses will eat thru that $100k with the quickness. Remember, that is 100K is before Uncle Sam gets his cut.

I make over $100K and is not all that's cracked up to be. I live in Bed Sty and I am not exactly balling out. When I used to make exactly 100K, I was bringing home around $1,200 a week withholding single 1. I read in some old Money magazine issue that you shouldn't be more than 25% net income. You are not going to find an apartment in nowhere in lower Manhattan for $1,300. Even closets in Harlem cost more than that.

3 hours commute a day is not really that bad. I used to live in Jamaica, Queens and it used to take me like and 1:10(Bus and subway) to work in lower Manhattan.

By the time you paid the monthly nut for both your spot in NYC and NJ, you'll be broker than a sailor in a whorehouse the day after payday.

[Hencredible Casanova]

I know an investment banker guy who's young but married and does the Jersey City to NYC commute. He takes the ferry in the am. Then if he doesn't get off late from work he takes the ferry back. But if he's putting in a long day, then his firm sends a car to take him home.

He had the same dilemma as you but ultimately chose NJ or NYC because he's planning to have a kid. So him and his wife have a 2br apartment in a new building with a gym and concierge for only 3500/month. In the city, the same setup would probably be 6500/month and a 1br would be 3500.

From JC, NYC is just a stop away.