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Girl I'm dating gets into serious accident driving home from me
08-27-2013, 02:54 PM
One of the girls I'm casually dating I asked to come see me last night. Her friend just text messaged me that she got into a serious accident as she was driving back home from me.
I feel really bad and kind of guilty. I was really tired last night after a long, long chaotic weekend and despite this asked her to come over last night. She comes over but about an hour before she arrived my body just crashed and I was pretty lifeless. We hung out for awhile & had a glass of wine but she sensed how tired I was and sweetly excused herself so I could get some sleep.
Now I get this text message that on her way back she got in a serious accident that requires facial and hip surgery.
I guess I'll visit her tonight. I feel pretty guilty about this. But I'm pretty conflicted emotionally about this. On the one hand, I feel its partly my fault for drowsing off on her and her leaving early, but on the other hand this randomness can happen to anyone at anytime.
This situation is pretty knew to me, especially since we've only casually hung out 10 or so times...what do I say to her when I visit her in ICU? Do I bring any gift like a card or anything?
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Girl I'm dating gets into serious accident driving home from me
08-27-2013, 03:22 PM
White flowers, if they are allowed.
Dont blame yourself man, it was not your fault, and there was probably nothing you could have done.
Show her your support, help her whenever and however you can, and be a friend, but dont feel like you owe her anything, or that will eat you up inside.
Her life is not over, so neither is yours.
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Girl I'm dating gets into serious accident driving home from me
08-27-2013, 03:22 PM
That sucks.
Don't feel too guilty. Even though feeling guilty may be what you are feeling naturally, things like this happen more than you would think.
I would visit her and if a card is your style then go for it but what is more important is to not apologize.
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Girl I'm dating gets into serious accident driving home from me
08-27-2013, 03:31 PM
I've gotten this as a grade school shit test when they wanna see if you really like them.
Usually a friend will call you or tell you in person.
I'm not saying she's bullshitting you. Verify the info as best you can before you respond.
Team Nachos
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Girl I'm dating gets into serious accident driving home from me
08-27-2013, 03:33 PM
yeah you should feel guilty. u asked her to come over and then flaked
u fuck a girl 10 times she's your girlfriend
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Girl I'm dating gets into serious accident driving home from me
08-27-2013, 03:34 PM
Quote: (08-27-2013 03:31 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:
I've gotten this as a grade school shit test when they wanna see if you really like them.
Usually a friend will call you or tell you in person.
I'm not saying she's bullshitting you. Verify the info as best you can before you respond.
Yeah, this I'm kinda ashamed to admit was my first thought too. But I called the hospital. She's there.
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Girl I'm dating gets into serious accident driving home from me
08-27-2013, 03:40 PM
Include a nice card:
"Baby, you are GUARANTEED a spot back in my rotation once you are healed up enough. Call me after the surgical scars heal."
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Girl I'm dating gets into serious accident driving home from me
08-27-2013, 05:20 PM
That sucks, but you are not responsible. Could she not call a cab? It was her choice to drive.
Don't feel guilty. You can be there for her and I can't think of anything else that would be appropriate.
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Girl I'm dating gets into serious accident driving home from me
08-27-2013, 05:25 PM
Not your fault. She came over to see you on her own free will. Accidents can happens anytime, anywhere. It just so happened that it was that night.
I can understand why you're hurting, and I would be upset too. The fact you're hurting is a good thing, because it shows you aren't some sociopath. If you didn't care, then there would be something wrong with you.
But do not beat yourself up about it.
As for a response, I second everything Germanico said.
Good luck to you, and her.
'Logic Over Emotion Since 2013'
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Girl I'm dating gets into serious accident driving home from me
08-27-2013, 05:54 PM
Why do we still treat females like innocent little fragile creatures that can do no wrong?
She made the choice to leave. She was there just for cock that you couldnt provide so she took off. She could have stayed with you anyway. Maybe she was on the way to some other dudes house to fuck him since you werent up for it. Maybe she was even texting him when the crash happened.
Her decisions (and possibly poor woman driving) led to the crash. It had nothing to do with you.
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Girl I'm dating gets into serious accident driving home from me
08-27-2013, 06:27 PM
Im not a player. I dont see why he should feel guilty for her getting into an accident when she left on her own accord. Feeling bad for her is not the same as blaming yourself for something you didn't do.
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Girl I'm dating gets into serious accident driving home from me
08-27-2013, 06:48 PM
Go and see her, just do what you normally do with women, you'll feel better as will she, no need to feel guilty as accidents happen.
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Girl I'm dating gets into serious accident driving home from me
08-27-2013, 08:15 PM
Don't trip dude; accidents happen and blaming yourself will only impede your growth as a person.
Visit her in the hospital; no flowers or cards (will only make you feel and look like you're bearing some guilt), and see how she is.
Not to sound hardened, but life goes on. Be strong and keep walking.
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Girl I'm dating gets into serious accident driving home from me
08-28-2013, 12:39 AM
Not your fault at all. She could get in an accident on the way back from the grocery store.
You asking her to come by is irrelevant.
It also sounds like you don't know the circumstances of the accident.
You do know the girl and if it were me I would go by and see if she needs anything.
If her friends start blaming you explain calmly that you had nothing to do with it.
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Girl I'm dating gets into serious accident driving home from me
08-28-2013, 12:59 AM
How much wine did she drink? I probably would have said "hey you are welcome to crash here and leave when you are ready if you aren't up to driving just yet".
if she was fine to drive, then no reason to feel guilty.
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Girl I'm dating gets into serious accident driving home from me
08-28-2013, 01:23 AM
Was this a single vehicle accident? Was she at fault? Was she tested for being under the influence?
Context is everything as far as what the true nature of the situation is. But regardless of that, don't be a dick and go completely ghost. Whoever texted you must be a mutual friend, go make a visit with a few people to the hospital to provide some emotional support as a group.
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Girl I'm dating gets into serious accident driving home from me
08-28-2013, 02:38 AM
she didn't deserve it but beware how conciliatory you are. send a gift with your regards and leave it at that--radio silence. she's gonna be laid up awhile
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Girl I'm dating gets into serious accident driving home from me
08-28-2013, 04:55 AM
I'd ad that if any of the girls I'm currently banging got in accident, I'd definitely go see them in the hospital.
Think about how boring it is in the hospital. Maybe you can fuck her there or do something really kinky.
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Girl I'm dating gets into serious accident driving home from me
08-28-2013, 01:15 PM
I know a slut who banged a married doctor in a new hospital wing under construction
OP, it's natural to have guilty feelings in this situation but rationally it wasn't your fault
Go visit her and bring her some food she really likes- hospital food sucks and she will appreciate that much more than flowers
"If anything's gonna happen, it's gonna happen out there!- Captain Ron
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Girl I'm dating gets into serious accident driving home from me
09-01-2013, 09:58 AM
Not your fault. Definitely should go visit her.
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Girl I'm dating gets into serious accident driving home from me
09-01-2013, 10:00 PM
I would second taking her food, but if she needs facial reconstruction maybe she won't be able to eat it, and that might look bad. Flowers seem safer. You could call the hospital and ask.