[Sonsowey]

When gaming a girl, it's best to be goal-oriented. You want the lay, so you focus on that, and what you talk about is focused on getting it. Probably you are not talking about topics that are fascinating to yourself, because for her it may be boring. Such a conversation would be counter-productive to your goal, even though you may have thoughts about an interesting (to you) topic on your mind that you really do wish to share and discuss.

At work, the same goal-oriented use of language is obviously enforced. You must be PC, polite, respectful, and boring. Approved topics of conversation seem limited to sports or celebrity gossip, or stories from the weekend that are utterly boring and uninteresting. So at work, where most people spend the majority of their lives, usually again they are not talking about what's really on their mind, talking about real ideas or opinions or thoughts. It's not the place for it.

Then you have your social circle. This is ideally where one should (?) be able to express themselves freely and openly, but even here it can be difficult. Many people simply don't like discussions about any deep topics, and having conversations that may challenge peoples' beliefs is often viewed as offensive, rude, anti-social etc. Once again, the topics of conversation in many social situations seem limited to mindless inoffensive chit-chat. Many people also approach their social group in a very goal-oriented way. They maintain a social group with advantageous connections, to allow them leverage into business opportunities, opportunities with girls, etc. So again, you must bite your tongue lest your opinion offend someone and upset a delicate balance.

At the end of the day, after being "on" all the time, this is exhausting and stifling. It seems that there is practically no opportunity to have real honest conversations with people about important and interesting topics.

I know lots of people here are very "goal oriented" in their whole lives. Dedicated to fitness, making money, banging bitches, having the best clothes and cars, etc. All of this requires a tremendous amount of focus and dedication, as well as sacrifice.

Do others out there get the feeling that all of it is stifling? That you're repressing yourself to get what you want?

[Giovonny]

Interesting questions...

I think alot of people do "wear a mask". They are afraid to be themselves.

Most people live to please others.

We want people to like us, we want girls to like us, we want to be accepted.

Fuck that!

I live for myself. I don't care if people like me. I don't care if girls like me.

Strangely, the more I have this attitude, the more girls (and guys) like me.

We must be our authentic selves. We must not live fake lives. That is a recipe to be misery.

Be true to yourself, fuck what people think.

Being fake is a slow death.

Being real is the greatest gift you can give yourself.

(08-07-2013 02:43 AM)Sonsowey Wrote:  

Do others out there get the feeling that all of it is stifling?

Not anymore. I stopped trying to please others and now I only want to please myself.

I am not stifled anymore.

Fuck being stifled and suffocated. Life is too short.

(08-07-2013 02:43 AM)Sonsowey Wrote:  

That you're repressing yourself to get what you want?

You can respress yourself to get what you want or you can express yourself to get what you want.

Repressing is soul destroying and energy sucking.

Expressing is fulfilling and inspiring.

Expressing yourself authentically is much healthier and fulfilling.

Repressing yourself is killing yourself.

Expressing yourself is allowing yourself to live.

(08-07-2013 02:43 AM)Sonsowey Wrote:  

At the end of the day, after being "on" all the time, this is exhausting and stifling.

This can be true.

So, don't try to be "on". Instead, just be your natural self with slight adjustments for work, etc.

If you are exhausted and stifled, you are not being true to yourself, you are living a lie.

Don't live a lie. Live the truth. YOUR TRUTH!

(08-07-2013 02:43 AM)Sonsowey Wrote:  

one should (?) be able to express themselves freely and openly

It's not that we should.

WE MUST

Not expressing ourselves leads to anxiety, depression, stress, sickness, etc.

You must express yourself freely and openly.

(08-07-2013 02:43 AM)Sonsowey Wrote:  

you are not talking about topics that are fascinating to yourself, because for her it may be boring.

I only talk about things that are fascinating to myself.

If a man or a woman is not interested, then we are not compatible.

I don't want a relationship based on faked interest. I want a connection based on real interest.

(08-07-2013 02:43 AM)Sonsowey Wrote:  

You must be PC, polite, respectful, and boring.

Yes, of course, especially at work.

We must be professional in our careers. I am careful at work.

I would rather not talk then talk in a fake way.

I don't speak much to my co workers. I would rather browse this forum.

WHEN YOUR THOUGHTS, WORDS, AND ACTIONS ARE ALL CONSISTENT. YOU WILL BE AN AUTHENTIC MAN. THEN, PEOPLE WILL INSTINCTIVELY RESPECT YOU. THEY MAY NOT ALWAYS LIKE YOU, BUT THEY WILL HAVE TO RESPECT YOU. YOU ARE A RARITY IN THIS WORLD. A MAN TRUE TO HIMSELF.

I know, I know, its all a tricky balance and we don't want to upset coworkers, lose our job, lose friends, lose girls, etc.

Fuck it.

I have decided that I will error on the side of expression. I would rather make mistakes of expression then mistakes of repression.

[booshala]

While I appreciate Gio's lust for living an authentic life, it doesn't work for me. I act the way I want around friends, girls and my family... I have a reputation for saying all kinds of outlandish and doing non PC "dont give a fuck" things, which usually works in my interactions with these groups.

At my 9-5 job however, I am total vanilla. I fly over 100,000 miles a year but I never tell my coworkers about my trips to the East coast, Asia or Latin America. Why do it, they're just going to hate on me for leading an interesting life. Same thing with my interaction with women: I usually average around 15-20 notches a year which is child's play compared to some of the players here, but that shit would be the scandal of the year for all the beta herbs and wizened ladies at my office.

My job pays well, is relatively easy and grants a lot of vacation time. It's a small price to pay to compartmentalize being "nice me" 40 hours of the week when it provides outsized value for the remaining 128 hours.

[Anon-A-Moose]

I tend to put the real me out there to a degree. It's like showing a side of yourself. Usually I don't bring up conversations, but those who know me knw my feelings. And while most chicks will give you shit, some are surprisingly open to our way of life.

My current longterm fuckbuddy is fairly realistic if not redpill, although she downrates herself. My ex-fiance was not as redpill as us, but very much so, and was the one who encouraged me to learn game. I've had one friend who she told me something I'll never forget right before the end of the semester, she said "you say some crazy shit when you're in our group, but, you explain it. You've got the balls to stand by it. And yeah, you're usually right." And amongst most of my male friends, especially younger ones, what we talk about in the social aspects is the norm. They see it. They may not understand women, but they're much more redpill in seeing the truth of our situation.

[wi30]

Gio knocked it out of the park.

I'm an avid fan of doing/saying whatever the fuck I want. I have a hard time biting my tongue. While it definitely gets me into trouble sometimes, I've had a lot of people (guys and girls) tell me that they love how real I am.

While I don't go out of my way to push my views or opinions on anyone, if asked a question I will answer bluntly and honestly 100% of the time. Life is too short to hide who you are.

[Dr. Howard]

(08-08-2013 08:29 PM)booshala Wrote:  

While I appreciate Gio's lust for living an authentic life, it doesn't work for me. I act the way I want around friends, girls and my family... I have a reputation for saying all kinds of outlandish and doing non PC "dont give a fuck" things, which usually works in my interactions with these groups.

At my 9-5 job however, I am total vanilla. I fly over 100,000 miles a year but I never tell my coworkers about my trips to the East coast, Asia or Latin America. Why do it, they're just going to hate on me for leading an interesting life. Same thing with my interaction with women: I usually average around 15-20 notches a year which is child's play compared to some of the players here, but that shit would be the scandal of the year for all the beta herbs and wizened ladies at my office.

I prefer the above advice. Calculate the cost of 'being yourself'. I grew up being myself, which is idealistic and confrontational and there are sometimes when its just not worth it.

If your goal is to get paid, don't make it a personal mission to tear down every bitch and liar in your office. If your goal is to stay out of the eyes of the police don't make it a personal mission to destroy every fool who looks at you funny.

I'd say know yourself, don't 'be' yourself.

[Giovonny]

(08-08-2013 08:29 PM)booshala Wrote:  

While I appreciate Gio's lust for living an authentic life, it doesn't work for me.

It's a small price to pay to compartmentalize being "nice me" 40 hours of the week when it provides outsized value for the remaining 128 hours.

Excellent post.

We are all different and we all have a different way of doing things.

I don't think my way is the best way. It just works for me.

I totally get what you are saying and I think it is smart.

I am too confrontational sometimes, and it gets me in trouble.

But, for me its worth it.

(08-10-2013 06:15 AM)wiscanada Wrote:  

I'd say know yourself, don't 'be' yourself.

Thats really good!