[2Wycked]

I grew up in the absolute middle of nowhere. Dirt roads, fields of corn and soybeans as far as the eye can see. Hotter than hell during the summer and colder than shit during the winter months.

Let me dispel some myths about the country in America.

1. There is no patriarchy in the country.

This one is a common meme in the media and liberals. Take a note: fat, white women rule the country and the small towns. Men still usually make up the formal leadership in small towns and rural power structures, but women manipulate the strings of power.

I made the argument in a political science class about gender and politics that men have the authority (formal power) in the country, but women exert the power (they have the ability to influence the authority). Mind you, this was in my blue-pill days. Of course, it did not go over well. Like the frustrating arguments I had in Family Law about whether being the primary wage-earner gives you the power in a relationship, I could not have a true discussion about power and how it works - part of this led me to this corner of the web. I was supremely frustrated with people who refused to care about understanding the world around them.

Back on point, the country and rural areas are ruled by obese Caucasian women. Does not matter if it is a Christian relationship, secular or anything else. The upper-hand is enjoyed by women. Some of the most pussy-whipped motherfuckers I know are some of the most "conservative" couples I know. The women do their utmost to front their man as the head of the household, but it is clear she is in control and wants to socially present him as the "man."

I have actually had an argument with a woman about a "controlling" husband who limited his wife's autonomy. I pointed out that clearly the wife is in control and is manipulating your perception of the relationship because she needs you to see her in a certain way. The woman was completely offended by my assertion. I pushed further, asking her to really consider the husband - do you really think this man is a controlling asshole? She laid down her arms because the social script of the dominating male didn't fit here because she knew the husband was bitch.

2. Rural areas are not hotbeds for conservative Christianity.



While this stereotype may or may not apply to the South, it isn't true in rural areas of the Midwest.

It is absolutely true that Christianity has a strong influence over society and politics in the country, it isn't as controlling as portrayed. Part of this conception stems from who is consuming, reading or viewing media coverage of rural areas - city folk. Part of the mis-characterization is narcissism - the need to feel superior to those ignorant Bible-thumpers. The other part is political - the need to feel that there is strong backlash to liberal politics festering in the hotbeds of reactionary America.

There isn't.

As usual, reality is more boring than fiction and that applies to rural areas and the country. Isolated areas attract a diversity of folk, many of whom are seeking to exist outside the mainstream. As such, you get many conservative Christians. You also get inordinate amounts of atheists, radical liberals, gay women (haven't figured that one out), libertarians and all manner of folk who are not long for mainstream American society.

In many rural communities, the breakdown is as such: Christian conservatives, Big Union Democrats (Blue Dog Democrats) and libertarians. There are many, many conservative Christian conservatives in rural areas. The twist is that a good bit of them are Democrats - Democrats that abhor social liberalism but are strong fans of unionism and Keynesian economics (whether they know it or not). While they may be completely against gay marriage, abortion, feminism or whatever, their livelihood depends on their union membership and vote as such. These voters strongly preferred Hillary to Obama in 2008. Such voting was chalked up to racism, but that was very off-base. Hillary specifically targeted these sorts of voters with her strong pro-union credentials. Sometimes I wonder about the so-called "political" experts in the media. Whatever.

Still, there are a good bit of strong liberals in rural communities. Sure, they rarely make up more than 25% of any local electorate, but they most assuredly exist. Political debates are far more robust in the country than urban areas - I have found big cities are thoroughly liberal. Voting patterns display this greatly, but my life has also displayed this. The most vigorous debates I have engaged in my life where often over hookah, weed and booze in a backyard of some farm house or living room of a rural apartment.

I think part of this is the fact the media presence is much more omnipresent in urban areas. It is tough to think for yourself when confronted with endless pleas to conform from the media. Only in the country can you sit back in your yard, enjoy the sky strewn with beautiful constellations of stars and just enjoy your beer. Alone. With just your thoughts.

Still, given the economic stress most rural communities experience, the debates often focus over approaches to economics. That is why both rural Republicans and Democrats spar primarily over economics. The sleigh of hand the media engages in is that we are fighting over abortion or whatever. We aren't. Conservative Christians sometimes use social issues as ways to politically organize, but the most passionate debates are over economic issues. Leave it to Starbucks liberals to bitch about gender roles. There are no debates about what gender does such and such when you have a hog farm to police, fields to walk and siding to mend on your house. The privileged get to bitch and moan about whether buying the groceries is gendered.

3. The country is not violent.



Just googling a picture for this section made my blood boil.

There was a litany of pictures referencing violence against women in the picture. Once again, I bet that it is urban feminists pretending that rural women are subject to violent expressions of patriarchy in the country.

It isn't true.

My hometown hasn't had a murder since Lyndon Johnson was President. Batteries and assaults have almost exclusively happened at the local bars, between high schools kids and young, adult males. Domestic violence isn't as much as a concern in the country precisely because you can't just exist in rural areas, everybody is obvious.

The idea that domestic violence is openly tolerated in society is blown wide open by rural America. I would surmise that urban areas are more susceptible to domestic violence just because it is easier to slip away into a crowd, but in the country it is impossible if you live there.

Part of the reason city folk regard rural folk with such suspicion about violence is the different approaches to dealing with violence in the country. Urban folk are far, far more likely to take a pure authoritarian approach and leave it the police and the courts to deal with violence. In rural areas, where people actually know each other, there exist real human ways to deal with others.

I have known local cops to take a perp to his local pastor, where the pastor admonished the man for his violence at the local bar. I have know a guy who was known for beating women to be taken to his grandmother's house over jail, where he got a verbal licking so bad it became a local legend. Is it more effective than police intervention? Maybe not, but considering the failure of rehabilitating offenders in our criminal injustice system, maybe it is a good approach. Reinforcing family or social ties in order to engender better behavior out of somebody is probably more effective then some random judge telling you need to get your shit together.

For the record, suicide is a huge issue in rural areas. There are suicides every year in a sizable community. Murders, rapes, serious batteries and the like are rare. Yet, taking your life is common. Take that as you will.

4. Growing up country can be a great life experience.



I felt a little down writing the previous three points because I have always been downed for growing up in a house bordered by three corn fields and a dirt road.

While I feel this point could merit its own thread, I will quickly make the case for growing up in the country.

I have heard much about racial diversity, sexual orientation diversity, nationality diversity and the whole spread. What I hear little about is geographical diversity.

It sounds silly, but it is real. Growing up as a kid when all you know during the summer months is just, literally, 4 friends in a community that barely qualifies as a village is life-altering. Having to bike multiple hours through country roads just to see a friend is crazy. Being able to drink openly on at a street corner, knowing nobody will come by for hours is liberating.

First off, you learn to do work in the country. Unless your parents are loaded, you have to do work. Lots of it. Not just mowing lawns, trimming hedges or feeding pets, there is a lot of other work to do. Chop down itch-weeds at the crick, walk corn fields, fetch water from the reservoir (I have a well, not public plumbing), kill coyotes/wolves at 2 AM when they threaten your land, deal with horrid flooding during summer storms, plow your own road during winter, etc. You learn self-sufficiency living in the country or you suffer badly, pay for it financially or just die. You can't depend on the government when you live an hour from the nearest city.

Second, you develop deep relationships with the people around you. You may not like them - in fact, you may hate them. But you have know them and you know their struggles. The country can be a judgmental place, but there is a level of duty and compassion I have noticed is lacking in urban areas. I have a friend who lives next to a life-long alcoholic. The alcoholic is a brash asshole who has no charm, wit or other redeeming values. Still, he is a neighbor and a community member. I can't even count how many times we turned the lights off in his garage, fed his pets or did other things around his house because he was passed out. It isn't thought about in the community, you just do it because he is part of the community.

My closest friendships are from my hometown. I recall sitting down last Christmas with a few friends I hadn't seen in about 10 months. We cracked open the case of Beast Light and picked up right where we left off. Maybe that is male friendship, but I have noticed we have a deep bond because we all grew up in the same town, went to the same grade school & high school and the same community college. Shit, I thought everybody had the same classmates from kindergarten to senior year of high school until I made friends outside my hometown.

Third, and finally, is the freedom to be your own man. In the country, you can do so much shit. I had a reputation as being a great kid, so I got away with a lot of shit. You can open up your new car on an isolated paved road. I got my first car past 120 MPH and I was fucking ecstatic. I fucked more than a few women on some shit dirt road in the road by a graveyard. I fucked my first city girl in a damn cow field. She freaked out when something moved the car. When she balked, I said, "Shut the fuck up, the cow's grazing."

I have lit up highly illegal fireworks for hours, drag raced, had a good friend hunt deer out of my sunroof - I didn't realize he brought a shotgun into the car until the barrel grazed my skull when he brought it to bear, telling me to slow down. I have had sex in a church sanctuary, passed out drunk in the middle of a road and watched an arson.

In many ways, the country represents the male ID. You can do many things you just can't get away with in urban areas. As of right now, I can just got outside, blow off fireworks, drink in my backyard or just light up and nothing would happen. I could play music louder than shit or just drive & drink around the country block, swilling booze - odds are greatly that nothing would happen. Even if the local cop shows up, I know him personally. Most likely, he will just tell me to shut the fuck up and go to bed.

In populous areas, that approach is most likely deficient. In rural areas, it is the best approach. The reliance on informal social structures over formal structures in rural areas speaks to differences between rural and urban ares. Community is more important than informal governmental structures in the country. This difference fuels much of political conflict in America. Most Americans can't conceive of a world in which people, at the least, do for others, if not care for each other.

Say what you will about the country, but I always think of this clip from Boondock Saints:

Maybe country folk will invoke a witch hunt and pervert justice - quite possible. However, you will never encounter such indifference in the country. Sure, your neighbors might not care about you in ways that you would like, but they care about you.

Hate it or love it, you will always matter in rural areas.

Maybe that is part of the hatred towards the country: You can't just be anybody, you will become somebody.

[Beyond Borders]

Epic. I too have rural roots.

[2Wycked]

Thanks, Beyond Borders.

I really should have included we are all not ignorant fools, but I think that perception stems from the fact people are more likely to walk to the beat of their own drum in the country.

To be sure, rural areas are hotbeds of gossip, but I certainly have a more "I don't give a shit" attitude in the country while also being more open to help someone in need in the country.

I recall my urban friends being taken aback about how open I was to help people with broke down cars, broke, etc when I first moved out of the country. I learned to be more discerning, but it is eye-opening to realize how self-serving the urban world can be.

[lskdfjldsf]

Please submit this as an article for ROK - fantastic read!

Grew up in the PA countryside before moving to Europe, you're spot on. By far the most rewarding childhood I could have asked for; small towns rallying on Friday nights at high school football games, hunting (and having the first day of deer season off of school!), knowing every police officer in town, the reward of a hard summer days work in the fields, the thrill of crushing a cute high school girl next to a bonfire after prom or homecoming... ahhh the good old days!

[thegmanifesto]

Interesting read.

What about drug use? Rampant? Or not?

Weed growing, meth labs etc?

[2Wycked]

G:

I think there is a historical/cultural component to what goes down in rural areas. I am pretty sure there is more moonshine being made down South than in my neck of the woods.

That being said, drugs are a huge issue. In particular, meth is a huge issue.



Missouri by far the worst state for meth production, at least as of around 2008/2009. If you ever go to St. Louis, jump in a car and go to any small town outside the city. Odds are, there will be at LEAST one meth lab.

In my hometown, we have had a least a few meth labs pop up. You know meth is being made because it reeks like cat urine.

Had buddy who lived next to an old widowed grandmother. She literally took care of probably twenty or thirty cats. Well, she dies and her scumbag grandson moves in. Dude throws wild parties all the time, has visitors all hours of the night. Well, the parties slow down but the cars coming by don't. He had curiously decided to keep feeding the cats.

One day, my buddy calls me up and tells me was working in his garage when several FBI swat cars roll up on the house and one rips right into his driveway. The SWAT teams tells him to chill as they are not coming for him, but need to get a look at the side of the house from his backyard.

A whole bunch of people get collared and insane amounts of drugs and equipment get lifted out as evidence. One of the agents told him and his family that the grandson had, obviously, been moving meth. He was also the suspect in at least two murders.

Scary shit considering if that lab blew up, probably would have blown up my buddy's house.

That story being told, meth is a huge issue in rural areas. It is even more an issue for farm houses. Old farmer dies, widow moves to a nursing home and dealers move in because the house is so isolated, the smell doesn't matter and they can move the meth out where they want to deal instead of people coming them.

As far as weed, not much out my way. There is quite a bit of personal production, but not much else. Weed is more likely to come in and get dealt by the numerous dealers. High school kids always get into conflicts with established dealers in the area. Usually over dealing to the rich kids in high school.

As far as coke, there is at least one robust dealer in town. Works for the town, too.

In any Midwest town, I would surmise you will find a weed dealer, a meth dealer and a coke dealer. Shrooms and acid are also popular. Heroin was nonexistent in my town. I always thought heroin was more a city thing.

[billbudsocket]

You forgot the best part - being able to take a piss off your front porch anytime you want, lol

[delicioustacos]

2Wycked, your calling is to be a writer. Please, for the sake of the rest of us, spend your half your time reading the greats and the other half making your fingers move on a keyboard. By "the greats" I mean: start reading Charles Bukowski on the toilet.

You have the gift. I hope and expect that the next thing you write makes me even more jealous.

[2Wycked]

Wow, delicioustacos that is quite the compliment coming from you, as I have long admired your writing. Thank you.

Ironically enough, I plan on starting my first novel this week. I am very excited.

[lskdfjldsf]

@thegmanifesto: Painkillers are huuuuuge in PA and WV. Just about everyone abuses vics, percs, etc. even those Fetanol (spelling) patches people are supposed to put on their arms.

[Dr. Howard]

(07-29-2013 05:29 PM)2Wycked Wrote:  

G:

I think there is a historical/cultural component to what goes down in rural areas. I am pretty sure there is more moonshine being made down South than in my neck of the woods.

That being said, drugs are a huge issue. In particular, meth is a huge issue.



Missouri by far the worst state for meth production, at least as of around 2008/2009. If you ever go to St. Louis, jump in a car and go to any small town outside the city. Odds are, there will be at LEAST one meth lab.

Tennessee is going to beat Missouri this year, its out in the rural areas. http://www.wbir.com/rss/article/271510/2...-lab-busts

[2Wycked]

This is definitely one of my favorite big posts from the summer of 2013.

I miss country living, but after living in the big city, I'm not sure if I would enjoy it long-term. The amenities an urban lifestyle affords become become necessaries after awhile. It is like upgrading from a four banger to a six-cyclinder car -- you just can't go back!

Still, I sure would love a good cigar on a fine country night, the sky strewn with a smattering of stars, and reminisce on the magic of youth. As it has been said before, "Youth is wasted on the young."

[Laner]

I missed this thread first time through. Great writing, you really put me back.

I never was as rural as what it sounds like you were, but I spent many years of my youth on farms and ranches and is some cases full Yukon bush. I have a lot to say on the subject, I just need to find some time to come back to this thread and put some thoughts down.

I am currently in conflict about my life. I just spent a month on the road visiting family and friends in these northern Rocky places. Now I am back in the thick of the city, with all its positives and negatives that seem cranked to 11. I have been told life goes full circle, and its something I can feel in me.

Just two weeks ago I was riding horses with my nephews, eating moose by the fire, sitting with my baby son in the barn with mouser kittens that were two days old. The rape and canola fields were in full bloom and the rocky mountains kicked up storms, and generations of men sat and stood against the corral fence watching the horses kick and roll while the black clouds rolled around with lightning in the distance. Its truly a blessing to have this in my life.

[Comte De St. Germain]

My family had a few rural abodes in a few countries. I was always more the rich kid with my gramps having a few live in servants to fix up the country home while we were away. Though keep in mind middle class in the states is top 5% elsewhere.

In certain parts of the world making your fortune and retiring to the country would be wonderful. One of my exes gave me a boner when she told me that was her long term plan as well.

Can definitely relate especially the fireworks bit.

[TheUsual]

Thanks for this piece. I can attest to all of the points presented here, I grew up in SW Missouri and have seen a lot of this in action although I wasn't aware of it at the time. I will add that I was a teenager in the 90's when the meth boom started and the violence most definitely increased especially in the larger town that we lived near.

[Kona]

I went to college in St. Louis.

One of my best friends lives about 80 miles south of there. His family has money, and their spread is on 100 plus acres, so they are OK. The surrounding though, is a real trip. You drive down a side street and all the houses you can see tweakers peeking out of cracks in the blinds. Its been 2 years since I've been back, but I remember there was just a funny smell hanging over the town. It was the ammonia.

I'm going back next week, and according to my buddy the problem really hasn't changed.

People say Hawaii is bad with the iceheads, but we have nothing on Missouri.

Aloha!

[Brown Pride]

I hate living in the country. I lived there in my early 20s. It sucked. It was always the same ugly girls. No variety. Everone was boring. Nothing to do. If you wanted to go to the mall you had to drive for like an hour.

No people around. Just you. I got bored really quick and became of how bored life was.

Im a people person. I need to see people period and bang new girls every month. I was on zoloft for years.

[Kingsley Davis]

Timely re-post. Grew up in a rural area of an island nation then moved to a first world nation urban area. Now i'm grinding to escape back to rural island locale and live modestly til my end days. Not for everyone mind you (Brown Pride) but i'll have a cold beer, freshly caught/picked food & a hammock for when ya'll drop by.

[RURALGAMER]

The "old fashioned values" taught to boys in these areas simply helps to create mega beta's

yeah those guys are ruled by the fat white women.

On the flip side of that simply having a masculine presence ups your value significantly.
I've seen a bunch of beautiful women worth wifing capable of locking down any Dr lawyer or "exec" who would rather have a driller logger or line runner

[Zona]

Glad I came across this post! I grew up in a semi-rural area (probably not as country as the OP) but I've spent a lot of time with family that lives out in the sticks.

I'd say everything in the OP is spot on, but the biggest problem I have with living in a rural community is the fact that the caliber of women just seems very low. Maybe it's location dependent, but the vast majority of young women in the country areas I've frequented seem to be of a trashier variety -- overweight, single mothers, shitty tattoos/piercings, etc.

Sure, you may get lucky and stumble upon a cute girl with good traditional values, but from what I've seen the pickings tend to be slim (not literally, unfortunately). If it weren't for that fact I'd pack my bags and move to a rural community in a heartbeat. I'm an introvert who enjoys the simple aspects of country life, but the lack of quality females is a major deterrent for me right now.