[MikeCF]

Here's something I've been noticing more and more. I'm wondering if it's just me or if you guys notice it, too.

When I go out, I see large groups of guys who don't seem like they even want to meet girls.

They stand in a corner or near the bar and just drink to get fucked up. They are more about hanging with their bros than with meeting girls.

When girls walk by, they aren't really gawking or drinking more to get the courage to approach.

They genuinely seem disinterested in meeting girls.

A lot of times these are normal guys, too, so it's not like they are dregs.

Is this a trend that anyone else is noticing?

[Walderschmidt]

What area are you in?

I have noticed this when I was Germany - it seemed that men were there to hang out with their groups. I think my group of friends got surprised when I'd leave the group to scan the crowd.

For a long time I have noticed this phenomenon with girls.

[Screwston]

Yeah, sometimes I even feel that way. I just wanna get a drink and relax in my head or chill with a buddy or watch a band play or whatever. I can't speak for other guys but I'm sick of dealing with all the bullshit and jumping through hoops so if I ain't in the "zone" then I wont play the game that day or night.

[Nascimento]

I have only been going out for a year so I can't attest to what it was like 2, 5, or 10 years ago.

If guys are less about going out to meet girls nowadays as opposed to days of the past, I think one of the factors might be porn and media entertainment.

The porn industry is increasing and nowadays so much is available online, for free, high quality. Maybe guys don't have as motivation to go out and get with a naked woman as in the past because if they ever get the urge, they just eliminate it by surfing a couple sites.

Also, link that to anxiety due to porn use. The alternate reality porn creates causes guys to become submissive to dominant woman in porn. They fail to develop confidence in actual sexual and flirtatious interactions with girls because of it. Besides that, heavy porn use is promotes extreme introverted behaviour, and although it is fine to be an introvert per se, you must have some extrovert qualities as well to be able to meet women.

I think the video game industry might have a factor as well.

I absolutely love to play video games, but I recognize that sinking more than an hour or two max a day is counter productive.

When the urge to be with a woman comes up, they distract themselves from the uncomfortable feeling being alone brings and sink time into call of duty.

I have a good buddy that I think might be a victim of the later. He claims he has no urge or desire to go out and meet women. It doesn't matter too much if you're a virgin, but at least make an effort or have the urge. He says he doesn't give a shit. I would estimate he plays anywhere from 2-5 hours of games daily.

I don't hate him for it, and I don't bring it up at all. It's his life to do with what he chooses, and he is a funny guy and awesome to be around. But he is short changing himself as a man, I believe.

But to conclude, I believe porn and media distractions are one of the reasons.

[iknowexactly]

( IKE starts to howl, jumps up and down and stamps his feet.)

YES! YES! I repeat repeatedly-- 99% of men do nothing. Put yourself in the 1% and you are... a 1%-er lzlzloslls.

Maybe we're noticing their paralysis because when we're not approaching, we're still plotting like the mad scientists in a James Bond movie.

[A War You Cannot Win]

Sometimes I just want to get black out drunk or discuss dead European writers with my buddy. I don't need to go through the motions like a social robot mindlessly approaching sub par pussy everytime I go out. If I see a girl that truly catches my eye I'll go for it, if not I can find other ways to entertainment myself besides negotiating my way inside a new vagina I'm going to forget about in a week.

[speakeasy]

I see this as neither a positive or a negative. They could all just be old buddies that want to grab a beer and shoot the shit. It doesn't have to be game on all the time. Some of them might have girlfriends already and just want to get out a few hours. I know a few guys like this. They are married but don't mind hitting up bars with the boys just like when they were single.

All this means to me is fewer thirsty dudes walking around and less competition.

[All or Nothing]

(06-25-2013 11:08 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  

They genuinely seem disinterested in meeting girls.

This post reminds of a chick I talked to a month ago.

She talked about how she would go to the bars to repeatedly and harshly reject men. She took pride in the fact that she would reject so many men, and she even went as far to say that it made her feel good inside.

I think this attitude that a lot of chicks have towards meeting men in bars contributes to this disinterest that men have.

[Balboa]

I've always been skeptical about complaints about the declining quality of social interaction, etc. But I do wonder if we are really seeing a civilizational clusterfuck here as many in the 'sphere have been saying. The proof will be in the birthrates, particularly of the educated, native population. Facebook, video games, obesity, beta men, bitchy women. It really may cause a rapid transition into a profoundly dysfunctional and possibly terminal society. Thing is there aren't any real competitors. Islam? Not yet a true threat, they are hard-pressed surviving and working out their own conflicts. China? Falling off the same cliff we are demographically.

I'd give anything to be around in 100 years just to see the endgame of all this.

[Sleek]

You can do one of two things: 1) fault it on the women who reject the men (at a possibly increased rate than in the past) or 2) on the men for being pussies.

Because men are the ones that are supposed to lead the interaction, I blame it on #2. If guys don't want to improve themselves and meet women, that is their own fault.

However... shit like this doesn't help.

[A War You Cannot Win]

Honestly I just don't find many women attractive to put effort into approaching. I don't want to associate myself with a chubby/obese woman with a kid. Or some hyper masculine lantern jaw with an inferiority complex and a compelling drive she's equal or better than me at everything. Sometimes if I'm in a trolling mood I'll run some game on some marginal dreg just to sustain what I have and vanish mysteriously without closing.

[LeBeau]

I only caught the tail end of the years before cell phones in bars (along with being allowed to smoke in bars) so I don't have the reference points to comment on any trends...

That said, I definitely do notice this when I go out, regardless of the type of bar/club.

I would suspect a variety of factors at play:

- What Nascimento said

- Social media has replaced so much other interaction that face time becomes more important for groups to stick together or prop each other up (i.e. "He spent the entire night going after girls instead of catching up with his buddies" type complaints)

-Similarly, online dating and social media allow new gen to build and maintain larger social circles without ever having to cold approach and risk public rejection

- Feminization of younger males. Keep in mind they may be confident in many areas of their life, but a lot of the boldness that works in your favour at night has either been shamed away or not on their radar

I'm sure there's others that aren't coming to mind right now

Along these lines about not making direct approaches, with the younger generation grown up on grinding being a very normal thing to do at clubs, I definitely see a lot of the "silent dance orbiter" approach, attempting to get an in without having to talk at first or make much eye contact

[MikeCF]

(06-26-2013 12:15 AM)Sleek Wrote:  

You can do one of two things: 1) fault it on the women who reject the men (at a possibly increased rate than in the past) or 2) on the men for being pussies.

Because men are the ones that are supposed to lead the interaction, I blame it on #2. If guys don't want to improve themselves and meet women, that is their own fault.

However... shit like this doesn't help.

Who is faulting anyone? Not me. I'm just stating my observations and wondering if they are the same or different.

As for men being pussies....

Would you work hard at a dead end job?

Are men who work hard to bang mediocre women better than everyone else or are we wasting our time?

How many hours do a lot of guys spend to bang 6s and some 7s?

20 hours a week?

Is that a productive use of time?

Again, no judgments from me. I like goofing off as much as the next guy.

But I'm not sure that guys who have "checked out" are pussies inasmuch as they are uninspired.

[WestIndianArchie]

I hesitate to call myself a vet, but I've been going out to night clubs since the late 90's. For the most part, i'd say 60-80% of the guys hold the wall all night.

There were times when I'd roll up in the Black Honda Civic, and park next to a guy pushing an E-Class. Give ol boy the nod, about an hour and a half later, he's holding the wall with his boys - beer @ chest level, and some chick I met 20 minutes ago is throwing that ass back at me like she's desperate for a child.

I'm in a white t-shirt, and he's rocking a nice Polo, prolly showing off the hard won muscles in subtle way, while my skinny fat self was hugged up with some snowflake soror.

It really wasn't until I became the guy in the German Luxury car that I understood what was happening.

WIA

[Atilla]

There are certain kinds of girls out there who I wouldn’t let pass me by, but would I prefer to say hi to this American woman, and spend hours reading about gaaaaame so I can potentially impress, date, and have sex with girls like her…



…or would I rather jerk off to this Romanian porn star whose doctor insists she doesn’t need to go through with her breast reduction?



I don’t play video games, but I’d probably also rather play FIFA with some foreign dudes over the internet than talk to a girl who in all likelihood has a negative and entitled attitude that couldn’t possibly add value to my life. Sure, many of us could stand to make ourselves better men, but I’ve found that much of the reason why men aren’t approaching is because it’s also the women who aren’t putting in the work to improving themselves.

[eradicator]

Egad, I think I will have to move to romania at some point in my life



edit, if you couldnt see the image atilla was trying to post, here it is.

[poutsara]

(06-25-2013 11:08 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  

When I go out, I see large groups of guys who don't seem like they even want to meet girls.

They stand in a corner or near the bar and just drink to get fucked up. They are more about hanging with their bros than with meeting girls.

When girls walk by, they aren't really gawking or drinking more to get the courage to approach.

They genuinely seem disinterested in meeting girls.

Must be the day-gamers out at night after a long day.

[DVY]

See it all the time. Or I see the exact opposite- pure caveman/brute game. There is very little in-between.

Its even worse in Asia- 99% wallflowers or group huggers. Israel was caveman-game but bitch shields hiked up to outer-space.

If you have some game, you will do just fine in the USA.

[Fredster]

I am literally the only dude in my social click who is doing stuff and approaching girls.

Most of the guys I met seem happy to be virgins and single and do not feel like less of men, infact they come off as more alpha than me.

I just don't get it...I mean these my social click are not even catholic or religious.

I can't fault them, they seem really happy and play laser tag or sports and have a drink at the pub.

So my conclusion is to each their own, can't fault having no urge for pussy, can't fault or judge wanting pussy. I don't think either lifestyle is less masculine than the other.

Ofcousre I choose appraoching chicks.

[Statsi]

Most of the guys I know go out to party and get shitfaced. I enjoy male bonding as much as the next guy, but clubs are for hitting on girls in my eyes. I'm much more likely to use a group of friends as home base, keep myself social, trade some laughs and stories, then leave them in their huge circle on the dance floor while I approach. It seems the holding up the bar nights out are the norm for guys, occasionally a girl will approach them and maybe they'll click and get laid(used to be called fools game?).

The flip side of this is it's so easy to spot your own, spotting a game guy in the club is like picking the wolf among sheep. For a start you will see the same guys out all the time, they will usually move alone even when with friends, rather than sticking with their group. Also they tend to look sharp and dance, rather than hold up the bar. I've made a few friends by chatting about hitting on girls with dudes, my friend Ali and a a dude who calls himself Gizmo are unquestionably into game. Usually If I see them approaching a group I'll lend some chat without getting in the way of whomever they want, easy pickings really.

[jerome]

(06-25-2013 11:08 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  

Here's something I've been noticing more and more. I'm wondering if it's just me or if you guys notice it, too.

When I go out, I see large groups of guys who don't seem like they even want to meet girls.

They stand in a corner or near the bar and just drink to get fucked up. They are more about hanging with their bros than with meeting girls.

When girls walk by, they aren't really gawking or drinking more to get the courage to approach.

They genuinely seem disinterested in meeting girls.

A lot of times these are normal guys, too, so it's not like they are dregs.

Is this a trend that anyone else is noticing?

I guess it depends where you hangout...I use live in scottsdale and now in vegas....

There are alot of thirsty men in scottsdale and vegas....a girl that is a 6 in vegas...will be approach every 1 min in a nightclub....if she is alone...you can break out one of those number counters....

The only time the rate of approach goes down is when she is in a group and if she is a 9.........

If anything...american game is reaching hyper game mode...where approaching and playing numbesr game is mandatory in america..... I see alot of thristy dudes more than ever........ thanks to RSD and PUA pushing the number game strategy.....

[The Beast1]

I've noticed a lot more girls are doing approaching, at least here in New York. They've become particularly aggressive as of late. Girls outside of my social circle here in NY have been approaching me.

They normally come up and will start off by what seems to be a like they're reading off their accomplishments and resume to me. This has happened multiple times. I look at them and give that Obama, "Not bad" face.

To which i say back, "Does this work on all of the guys?"

Hilarious antics ensue. Weird weird weird.

[dog24]

Ive written about this back when i first started approaching like mad, ive noticed none of my friends were up for it. I realize now why, there is no point you invest too much to get pretty much nothing back, and yes like you said this guys are not omega losers all of them have balanced lives, are average looking and pretty much average guys. Problem is average girls dont want average guys no more

[Sebastian]

There are guys genuinely having a guys night out. they don't care about other people. they are just playing pools, bean bags and having some debates I see nothing wrong with that.

There are guys who came with their friends to find a girl.
(I used to do that. I couldn't go out on my own. so we go out together to find a girl. we didn't come out to hangout together. our priority was on girls. Basically we were using each other to go out since none of us couldn't go out by himself. I stopped doing this shit)

I think more than half of the guys fall into this group. 'I need to get laid but I can't go out on my own. I should call johnny to come out'
These guys will be standing nearby girls, turning their heads and making comments as the girls walk by.
'damn, look at her, she is so hot'
'go, talk to her'
'no you talk to her'

When you try to work the room, these guys are your biggest enemy.
While other guys night out group doesn't pay attention to other guys, these guys have been checking out chicks whole time pretending they are just here to chill with their bros.
When you approach a girl they have wanted or want to talk to, now you will get the full attention from these guys.
(you can feel these guys are staring at you with a laser beam or raising their ears like a bunny to know what's going on)
It's damn annoying you have those 'judges or audiences' observing what you are doing.
Obviously, I get blown out all the time too and they enjoy watching those even though they have been doing nothing.

To be honest, I will be more scared if there are those beer holding chodes by a girl than just full of hot girls.

I was nervous about the women but as I go out more, I think you get the biggest pressure from those guys. (they want you to fail in front of them otherwise they can't justify themselves not doing anything by saying 'lol that's why I don't hit on bitches at a bar')

[dog24]

What makes you think other guys are judging you and hoping you fail at approaching? Has anyone ever said something to you besides some beta orbiter or cockblock friend. Not every guy holding a beer and dont giving a fuck is a chode as rsd marketing would want you to believe. If i just dont feel like putting in work i would rather be called a chode than "that thirsty dude" by a bitch who only wants her ego fed