Ahh to be 23 again..and living in NYC to boot? And 6'2"
My friend, comrade, brother, this was truly a cringe-worthy post if i've ever read one. But that's cool, you're young and new to the game. I read my old writings and i'm like...damn....I was simpin back then.
The real problem here is that you do not understand game.
But let's focus on the tactical mistakes
A dude w/o game
- sees a chick
- gets her #
- takes her out
- gets a little drunk
- smooches on her
- connects with her on an emotional level (so he thinks)
- expects a second date
^^For those of us who were dating prior to hearing about game, this was pretty much how it always worked. You can still do this in 2013 w/o all the bells and whistles of game technology. There's nothing special about this at all, happens a million times a day.
If you had to use a routine or something to finagle the #, some kino to start kissing, and some stock stories to build a connection - That's game in name only.
The dude with game
- sees a chick, gets her #, sets up a day 2
but the key difference
- he ENGINEERS the date such that a chick has a good time, she gets tipsy, he gets her aroused, he moves her to a sex location, and they have sex
He's not kissing her just to kiss her.
He's not telling her stories of vulnerability to connect, but to uncover her vulnerabilities, and to toy with all of her emotions.
He doesn't need her to drink at all, because he's looking to fire up all of her synapses in order for her to buy in.
He's playing her body against her, and he's putting her in a situation where she'll say, "let's lie down, but we're not having sex"....
When I read your little report, I don't get the sense that you came in with a plan to fuck this bitch senseless. It looks like you had a date, and played it so that you could have another one. The whole part about you guys having the same background and being the same age, makes it sound like you were ready to move back to Mockba and start a family.
As for her flaking, you can make a broad cum so much she can climb mount Everest, and she still won't return your calls. She can tell you every last one of her secrets, and never want to see you again.
Remember, chicks have agency. They have minds and wills of their own. (and they all use women logic)
- some chicks will freak out, because you got them to give it up so fast
- some chicks have boyfriends, husbands
- some chicks get the phone call from the guy she loves.
^The regular guy obsesses about this bs and tries to retrace his steps and figure out what he may or may not have done right and wrong.
The player recognizes if a bitch really wants him, she'll drop everything and everyone to come get him.
At the end of the date, as good as it went, your offer wasn't strong enough, wasn't good enough for her to drop everything.
That's a tough pill to take, but the more chicks you run through, the more you realize that there is really no rhyme or reason, no pattern to discern - and that will fuck w/you, cause Man is a pattern recognizing mf'er.
The key thing to remember throughout game, in the words of the great Patrice O'Neal, "you're better than these bitches"
WIA
Quote: (04-17-2013 11:27 AM)Kid Strangelove Wrote:
I never thought I would be starting one of these Alpha/Beta, but some recent situations made me think - is there any way to not be Beta on dates? It seems like whatever you're doing, even while subscribing to to "traditional" gender roles where you're masculine as fuck by taking the lead, you're still trying to impress a woman, which they hate, as we all know.
Here's some background:
Met a girl recently - super cute, perfect body, just turned 23, originally from Russia, but came to the USA when she was 10 (exactly like me).
Our date was incredible - we drank, made out, and practicably had 95% of stuff in common. If there was ever a time where a first date would lead to a 2nd - this was it.
But yesterday evening - I get the most generic brush off text in history of brush off texts - "Hey I've been thinking that it's probably best if we don't go out again, I'm in the middle of figuring out grad school and may be going away soon and it's just not smart, therefore I think it's best we just stay friends".
Now - I start thinking - where in this date did I go wrong? Physically - I was looking good that night, dressed well, plus I'm 6'2, so height has never been an issue. Work wise I've never come off as a chump, our conversation couldn't have gone any better. I picked the activities we did that night and took the lead in all of them. There were literally no holes in my game that night.
But that's when it hit me - all the shit I did - all the leading, grooming and game tightening was to impress this chick. There was simply none of the "I don't give a fuck" attitude that hot 23 year old girls crave and lust after.
And then I think - was it ever even established? Is it possible to establish? I met this girl because I hit on her. I went out with her because I got her number and then gave her a call. Moving the interaction forward was done entirely by me.
She had absolutely nothing to chase, because I was doing all the work, but I never would have gotten anywhere if I haven't done any of the work. This is the dilemma of modern dating.
So - RVF members - what could I have done better? What are some proven and tested ways to be more Alpha on dates and turn the element of "chasing" on her? Or should I just brush this off as a bad experience?
