[Asaxon]

Being 30 plus and unmarried or even single seems to bring out strong emotions in people: They all pretty much assume that I am STILL single but must surely be looking for " my harbor". When I just lightly question the entire model of " must get married, happy ever after" etc the reactions range from condescending shaming ( " you are immature") to pity ( " you have not found the right gal yet"). Of course, most of this is done by women who have recently settled down, sometimes men ( usually when still freshly in love).
What is behind this psychologically? The blind forcefulness of shaming and strength of opinions tells me there might be some defensiveness or attempt to justify their own lifestyle ( men) or maybe agenda ( women who hate men being happy without them or giving hubby ideas). Why else would they care enough to get upset and preachy?
How do you guys react? Being openly red pill, laugh it off or play along to divert ( " waiting for the right one")?

[TheIslander829]

I'm just 100% honest.

Me: "I'm not getting married"

Idiot: "Why? You're just silly... you'll see, you'll end up falling in love and getting married"

Me: "No, marriage is just not for me"

It pisses me off when people say shit like this.

[thegmanifesto]

Just hang out with different people.

Preferably younger girls.

Problem solved.

[vinman]

I'll be 45 this summer and I've never been married. I have absolutely no plans on getting married. I tell people that it would be cheaper to find a broad you absolutely hate, and buy her a house.

[bacon]

I have ZERO plans on getting married or having kids but I only share that with very close friends. I usually tell family that I want to wait til I am in my early 40s. They tend to back off the presure as they see its something I want to do just that I want to and that I am just waiting until I am more established.

My thinking is that most of my family/acquaintances are very conventional people who expect me to also share conventional ideals about marriage/kids etc. So the best approach is just to lie to them and make them feel like I am "normal" and would also like to have the same things they want.

[w00t]

Read Esther Vilar - The Manipulated Man and it will all make sense bro.
Basically to women you are a meal ticket. They dont give a shit about love or crap like that. Their endgame is to latch onto some sucker and get him to pay for their shit. Of course if someone refuses to play ball they freak out and gang up on him. They are worried more guys might catch on.

I usually just tell them its none of their fucking business.

[speakeasy]

Could be worse, a lot worse. It used to be that a never married man in his 40s was assumed to be gay, omega or some other pariah of the community.

I'm not anti marriage because I think family is important and marriage is the foundation of family.

[Giovonny]

30 + Single = Perfect situation for a man who wants to bang alot of younger girls.

When people ask me why I'm still single - I say, "how could I pick just one?!?

(03-22-2013 11:47 AM)speakeasy Wrote:  

marriage is the foundation of family.

I disagree. I think the foundation of family is two parents committed to the well being of their children.

Marriage is just a legal document that gives women financial security/insurance, in case she decides she wants to leave her husband.

We can still have happy, healthy, loving families without marriage.

[Tex Pro]

Maybe you don't even need two parents to raise a kid...just look at El Mech.

[MrXY]

I just say I haven't found a woman rich enough to marry yet

[Sombro]

When people ask me, I just tell them "My married buddies tell me to stay single, so they must know something I don't." This usually shuts them up.

As for pity, tell them to save it for the over-30 single females. They need it more than us.

[RedPillMan]

Just tell them the truth, that's what I do. who gives a shit what other people say. You can't live your life worrying what other people think of you.

[speakeasy]

(03-22-2013 12:14 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

I disagree. I think the foundation of family is two parents committed to the well being of their children.

Ironically those are the same words I hear coming from gay marriage advocates and gender feminists. First off, marriage long predates laws, alimony, lawyers, governments and contracts. It's a very primal human cultural institution. It evolved as something of a right of passage so universal amongst all cultures advanced and primitive that you can't help but wonder if it arose at the genetic level. It goes far deeper than just a document. If all governments and law disappeared tomorrow, people would still continue to get married in some form. Because it's something that evolved at the organic level. I think ultimately families and marriage are important for the long-term sustainability of any society. Perpetual bachelerhood might work for certain unconventional individuals poised to most gain from that lifestyle, but if that lifestyle was ever adopted at the macro scale, it would be unsustainable. It's like the flipside of feminists with career ambitions that think having kids distracts from the boardroom. Look at the West. It's already in demographic freefall. There are entire European nations that will simply vanish off the face of the earth witin a few hundreds years. In all these countries you see plunging marriage and fertility rates. If marriage was a fundamentally flawed concept, then it never would've evolved and survived for so long. From a purely Darwinistic perspective, it makes sense. It may not make sense for every single individual, but for a society that wants to perpetuate itself, it's a good thing.


While I agree with the manosphere on many things, I don't get all the "marriage is beta" talk I often hear. Never really have. I'm sure if you guys are honest with yourselves you know plenty of people old and young that are happily married. Off the top of my head I can think of a number of good friends that are married to great wives. Yes, even in America. Divorce stats tend to be highly exaggerated and misquoted. The 50% number is a myth. And if you slice it by demographics, it varies tremendously. For example, poverty, low education and race play big roles. Divorce rates for someone that is poor, uneducated, black and living in the inner city are quite high. If you are a suburban WASP with a graduate degree, divorce rates are rather low. Of course these are just generalizations and you will find exceptions in all categories, but a lot of people in the manosphere talk as if all marriage is doomed from the start. It's just not categorically true and your likilihood to divorce depends on a lot of demographic variables that may or may not apply to you.

[Tex Pro]

(03-22-2013 02:04 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  

(03-22-2013 12:14 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

I disagree. I think the foundation of family is two parents committed to the well being of their children.

Ironically those are the same words I hear coming from gay marriage advocates and gender feminists. First off, marriage long predates laws, alimony, lawyers, governments and contracts. It's a very primal human cultural institution. It evolved as something of a right of passage so universal amongst all cultures advanced and primitive that you can't help but wonder if it arose at the genetic level. It goes far deeper than just a document. If all governments and law disappeared tomorrow, people would still continue to get married in some form. Because it's something that evolved at the organic level. I think ultimately families and marriage are important for the long-term sustainability of any society. Perpetual bachelerhood might work for certain unconventional individuals poised to most gain from that lifestyle, but if that lifestyle was ever adopted at the macro scale, it would be unsustainable. It's like the flipside of feminists with career ambitions that think having kids distracts from the boardroom. Look at the West. It's already in demographic freefall. There are entire European nations that will simply vanish off the face of the earth witin a few hundreds years. In all these countries you see plunging marriage and fertility rates. If marriage was a fundamentally flawed concept, then it never would've evolved and survived for so long. From a purely Darwinistic perspective, it makes sense. It may not make sense for every single individual, but for a society that wants to perpetuate itself, it's a good thing.


While I agree with the manosphere on many things, I don't get all the "marriage is beta" talk I often hear. Never really have. I'm sure if you guys are honest with yourselves you know plenty of people old and young that are happily married. Off the top of my head I can think of a number of good friends that are married to great wives. Yes, even in America. Divorce stats tend to be highly exaggerated and misquoted. The 50% number is a myth. And if you slice it by demographics, it varies tremendously. For example, poverty, low education and race play big roles. Divorce rates for someone that is poor, uneducated, black and living in the inner city are quite high. If you are a suburban WASP with a graduate degree, divorce rates are rather low. Of course these are just generalizations and you will find exceptions in all categories, but a lot of people in the manosphere talk as if all marriage is doomed from the start. It's just not categorically true and your likilihood to divorce depends on a lot of demographic variables that may or may not apply to you.

The 50% divorce rate is not a myth. It is what is estimated as the the divorce rate.

Granted, divorce rates do vary depending on a number of factors, but the overall divorce rate is around 50%.

Plus, the number of people getting married is falling like a rock in the USA.

Just look at this report on marriage and divorce rates if you want a clearer picture of the state of marriage in the USA (take a look at the table of contents since it is a long report):

http://www.stateofourunions.org/2012/SOOU2012.pdf

[loki]

I am not a fan of marriage, never have been and now i am in my mid 30's , that attitude is not changing nor do I see it ever changing.

After having been raised in a broken home, and watching countless friends end up in loveless marriages I see no reason why i would end up in the same boat as them, trapped and unhappy or worse still divorced, deprived of access to my kids and financially broken.....fuck that.

In fact a lot of people I work with who are successful and wealthy in their own right (and married) tell me I am smart for not getting married when they ask if i am.

Dont get me wrong cos I love women, they are beautiful creatures and possibly some of the good Lords best work but they are fucking crazy, selfish and extremely spiteful if jilted and there is no getting around those facts.

I no longer hide the fact I dont want to get married, fuck what others think its my life not theirs!

[NYJ]

(03-22-2013 03:51 PM)The Texas Prophet Wrote:  

(03-22-2013 02:04 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  

(03-22-2013 12:14 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

I disagree. I think the foundation of family is two parents committed to the well being of their children.

Ironically those are the same words I hear coming from gay marriage advocates and gender feminists. First off, marriage long predates laws, alimony, lawyers, governments and contracts. It's a very primal human cultural institution. It evolved as something of a right of passage so universal amongst all cultures advanced and primitive that you can't help but wonder if it arose at the genetic level. It goes far deeper than just a document. If all governments and law disappeared tomorrow, people would still continue to get married in some form. Because it's something that evolved at the organic level. I think ultimately families and marriage are important for the long-term sustainability of any society. Perpetual bachelerhood might work for certain unconventional individuals poised to most gain from that lifestyle, but if that lifestyle was ever adopted at the macro scale, it would be unsustainable. It's like the flipside of feminists with career ambitions that think having kids distracts from the boardroom. Look at the West. It's already in demographic freefall. There are entire European nations that will simply vanish off the face of the earth witin a few hundreds years. In all these countries you see plunging marriage and fertility rates. If marriage was a fundamentally flawed concept, then it never would've evolved and survived for so long. From a purely Darwinistic perspective, it makes sense. It may not make sense for every single individual, but for a society that wants to perpetuate itself, it's a good thing.


While I agree with the manosphere on many things, I don't get all the "marriage is beta" talk I often hear. Never really have. I'm sure if you guys are honest with yourselves you know plenty of people old and young that are happily married. Off the top of my head I can think of a number of good friends that are married to great wives. Yes, even in America. Divorce stats tend to be highly exaggerated and misquoted. The 50% number is a myth. And if you slice it by demographics, it varies tremendously. For example, poverty, low education and race play big roles. Divorce rates for someone that is poor, uneducated, black and living in the inner city are quite high. If you are a suburban WASP with a graduate degree, divorce rates are rather low. Of course these are just generalizations and you will find exceptions in all categories, but a lot of people in the manosphere talk as if all marriage is doomed from the start. It's just not categorically true and your likilihood to divorce depends on a lot of demographic variables that may or may not apply to you.

The 50% divorce rate is not a myth. It is what is estimated as the the divorce rate.

Granted, divorce rates do vary depending on a number of factors, but the overall divorce rate is around 50%.

Plus, the number of people getting married is falling like a rock in the USA.

Just look at this report on marriage and divorce rates if you want a clearer picture of the state of marriage in the USA (take a look at the table of contents since it is a long report):

http://www.stateofourunions.org/2012/SOOU2012.pdf

According to that link only 52% of all males 15 and older and 49% of females aged the same in the US in 2011 were married. If you looked at some of the other groups the drop is even more steep. Marriage has been thrown into the river with a cement block tied to it.

[Merenguero]

An acquaintance of mine, not a person who I respect, but a person who I know, recently asked me if I am married. I, of course, said, "No." He then asked me how old I am. I said, "thirty-five." He then told me, "You don't want to wait too long." Some statements are too preposterous to warrant a response.

[Asaxon]

(03-22-2013 04:41 PM)Merenguero Wrote:  

An acquaintance of mine, not a person who I respect, but a person who I know, recently asked me if I am married. I, of course, said, "No." He then asked me how old I am. I said, "thirty-five." He then told me, "You don't want to wait too long." Some statements are too preposterous to warrant a response.

Too long for what? That is the underlying, false assumption: they all think everyone naturally wants to get married in the "end", whatever that end is (as we know it doesn't end there but more often than not it is only the beginning of the end, leading to divorce and misery)

[Merenguero]

(03-22-2013 04:54 PM)Asaxon Wrote:  

(03-22-2013 04:41 PM)Merenguero Wrote:  

An acquaintance of mine, not a person who I respect, but a person who I know, recently asked me if I am married. I, of course, said, "No." He then asked me how old I am. I said, "thirty-five." He then told me, "You don't want to wait too long." Some statements are too preposterous to warrant a response.

Too long for what? That is the underlying, false assumption: they all think everyone naturally wants to get married in the "end", whatever that end is (as we know it doesn't end there but more often than not it is only the beginning of the end, leading to divorce and misery)

Exactly. One thing which I just recently realized is that I never had any family pressure to get married, which is very good, because I'm not wired for marriage. I think that one of the major problems is that there are many guys who are not wired for marriage who have some ridiculous pressure from their family to get married. They then get married, often with disasterous results.

[worldwidetraveler]

If everyone is married, then their decision to get married was correct. If married people see a happy single man dating many women, well, their world may collapse inwards onto itself.

[MattW]

I started joking about never getting married a couple of years ago (I'm 29 right now) with my family to try and set expectations early. Some trivial relationship issue comes up in conversation and I say, "That's why I'm never getting married, haha."

To be honest I'm not 100% sure I'll never marry anyone, though it seems increasingly unlikely.

[Asaxon]

(03-22-2013 05:12 PM)worldwidetraveler Wrote:  

If everyone is married, then their decision to get married was correct. If married people see a happy single man dating many women, well, their world may collapse inwards onto itself.

Good point. They need to justify their own decisions or their self-worth and purpose would be in danger. Cognitive dissonance at its finest!

[loki]

If marriage was everything it was made out to be, there would be no divorces....

[speakeasy]

(03-22-2013 05:12 PM)worldwidetraveler Wrote:  

If everyone is married, then their decision to get married was correct. If married people see a happy single man dating many women, well, their world may collapse inwards onto itself.

It's a mixed bag. There are married family-oriented people that are happy, and there are Al Bundy marriages that are miserable. You have happy single guys like George Cooney and you have miserable single guys like George Sodini. It's all what you make of it. Being single or married in and of itself doesn't determine your life satisfaction. Obviously of course some individuals just aren't cut out for long-term commitment and would be better off alone. Some want a family and to build something. It just comes down to your own values.

For most guys, marriage means having regular access to sex. This forum is made up of outliers. Few men are up to their chin in pussy and getting new ONS with 8s every weekend. Most men will have only 7 sex partners in their life. So for many average guys marriage is a ticket out of long bouts of involuntary celibacy. Hell, there might even be actual love involved.

[Jaylow]

Quote:

For most guys, marriage means having regular access to sex.

HAHAHAHAHA no. I think you meant girlfriend.