[gringoed]

Damn good thread. I'd say the main weakness of my game right now is not being aggressive enough.

[Rocco81]

This is def a skill I have aquired with time, and my answer is yes I do go for the close on the first date. The trick is learning the right timing and the woman's response to your advances. If you come on too strong too early you seem desperate and pushy and then even if she wants to fuck you later she will most likely not do so out of principle. Worse, if you don't come on heavy enough then you could be placed into the nice guy catagory in which she will make you wait a while for anything good.

[jfree]

(06-28-2010 02:30 AM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

(06-26-2010 08:47 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

Really dude? You think you should always go for the bang on the first date? How many successful LTR's have you seen come out of a same-night-lay or a first-date-bang?

Well, some of us already have a successful LTR, and we do not need another one. Therefore it doesn't make sense to waste time on dating.

I agree with oldnemesis though, technically, most of you guys would probably consider the longer than 6 month affairs as LTRs.

My experience focusing on mistresses is that there is no point in going slow if she meets your criteria for a relationship. I've found, chemistry-wise, if attraction is there, it will usually be strongest in the beginning. And, when done right, LTRs are both more likely to happen and the infatuation will be deeper... you will be that "love at first sight" or "the one" rationalization she makes retroactively to justify her "feelings" and being so "fast".

A failure of the above is usually the result of buyer's remorse from most likely either of two things:

1. The sex/intimacy did not click, or...
2. You've encouraged her to feel bad about her actions... "I can't believe I acted so slutty... it must have been <fill in reason - usually your fault>" instead of feeling "I can't believe all this is happening... I must be in love". I see this with guys who view them as sluts for being so easy instead of reinforcing their various "sweep off their feet" fantasies.

Of course, how long the affair goes does vary on how long she stays chemically attached and, ultimately, how compatible she is to you.

PS. If you are decent sexually, 1 should not happen that often. Girls are very mentally driven sexually... so with even average sex skills she will naturally fit some fantasy around it if encouraged properly. Luckily, you will eventually "blow her mind" sexually at some point early on if the sex continues and you have some skills.

[MiXX]

A LTR for me is anything more than 2 weeks. Then its time to get serious or leave - I usually pick the latter

I once had a 5 year relationship in my early 20's, in the end, I got nothing out of it except frustration. Yeah, we had some good times, but you can have that with any fun girl. I never see the need to keep women around for LTR's, it sucks the life out of you, and it really does nothing to improve you as a man, or human being.

My family hates my player lifestyle. My mother has come to accept it, and the rest of my family just bad mouths me for being 36 and a lothario just like my dad and grandpa. You can't please everyone, so please yourself.

Mixx

[FretDancer]

The longest relationship I've had lasted around 5 months. I simply got bored and decided to end it. I didn't banged her on the 1st date but I banged her just a few days later. The relationship was nice, we had good momments but like Mixx said, you can have those momments with any other girl.

Now here's were some my thought differs. I think that, if you bang a girl on the first date/very fast, there's a high chance to have a good relationship, but there's a higher chance that you will get bored of it even faster. On the other hand, I think that if she makes you wait and you feel something special about this girl, and you decide to wait. Chances are you won't get bored, or at least not as fast as the previous example.

[Moma]

(02-11-2011 02:11 PM)MiXX Wrote:  

A LTR for me is anything more than 2 weeks. Then its time to get serious or leave - I usually pick the latter

I once had a 5 year relationship in my early 20's, in the end, I got nothing out of it except frustration. Yeah, we had some good times, but you can have that with any fun girl. I never see the need to keep women around for LTR's, it sucks the life out of you, and it really does nothing to improve you as a man, or human being.

My family hates my player lifestyle. My mother has come to accept it, and the rest of my family just bad mouths me for being 36 and a lothario just like my dad and grandpa. You can't please everyone, so please yourself.

Mixx

I don't know if I asked this before but is your family mostly made up of women?

[MiXX]

(02-11-2011 03:11 PM)Moma Wrote:  

I don't know if I asked this before but is your family mostly made up of women?

Yup. How'd you guess?

They are all alpha females too! The women call the shots and make the rules in all households of my family. Any man in the family steps out of line, and they are catching one in the left cheek.

mixx

[hydrogonian]

(02-11-2011 03:15 PM)MiXX Wrote:  

(02-11-2011 03:11 PM)Moma Wrote:  

I don't know if I asked this before but is your family mostly made up of women?

Yup. How'd you guess?

They are all alpha females too! The women call the shots and make the rules in all households of my family. Any man in the family steps out of line, and they are catching one in the left cheek.

mixx

Interesting. I'm curious, as a result, do you prefer dominant or submissive women?

As a hypothetically married man, I couldn't deal with the female dynamic that you describe in your family. I've dated women like that (well, they tried. It was a battle). Its not for me.

Families with dominant women do breed dominant women. It seems that women are largely clones of their mothers.

[hydrogonian]

(06-26-2010 04:57 PM)Willy Wonka Wrote:  

(06-08-2010 10:30 PM)hydrogonian Wrote:  

Like I've said previously in other posts, , guys have to get out of the habit of asking girls questions and giving them choice. Its a huge mistake, imo, with game and your interpersonal dynamic with them in general. Tell them what your doing, where your going, etc... Dont do it in an obnoxious way, because thats not the point. If you do it obnoxiously, you will get more resistance. Do it in a matter of fact, nice, but firm-ish way..This way she feels weird if she rejects your command, and is more likely for her to second guess herself if she has any feelings about going against your directive. They want to follow..its natural. If she gives you a hard tme about what you tell her, then talk about it and ask her what she wants. Simple. If not, just lead... but remember, be cool no matter what. Your not leading in a dickish way, but in a way that just assumes that your the leader and the decision maker.

That's good advice right there. I need to do a better job at that. How do you do this when setting up dates and shit... just hit her up, call or text and be like, "Let's do this and this Thursday and such and such time." As opposed to "Do you wanna... ?" Also... how bout saying "We should..." as in "we should go do this on Friday, etc, etc."??

I hadn't been back to this thread, for some reason, and didn't see your question until now.

This is going to seem overly complicated, but there is a lot of nuance and variables in this question.

I assume that you mean first dates? For setting up any date other than a first date, its seems to be much easier to be an uncontested leader and to give directives. Assuming that the first date went well, there was a romantic connection, and she wants to go out again.

For first dates: First, the phone sucks in general (texting is much much worse even). But specifically it sucks for first dates in terms of trying to convey all of the personality that you need to successfully set up a date in a very dominant way. Its very easy to come off the wrong way in her mind, or for her to get guarded, if you aren't there in person (this is from my experience with this). Women aren't dumb to the tactics of guys, and she can be very aware that you are corralling her into a date by using persuasive tactics. There are no additional factors present to convince her to follow your directive other than your voice. Not good. She may agree to your date directive, but the flake factor will be much higher, guaranteed. Remember, I'm talking about doing this on the phone.

But it depends on the girl. A very experienced jaded girl might want to be asked because she knows dominant guys inside and out. Maybe. An innocent girl might respond instinctively to a directive, even in the weak context of a phone call. Maybe. Its not exactly intuitive to know what girl will respond to what type of tactic for a first date. So, to play it safe I generally ask a question if asking a girl out on the phone. It won't generate resistance, and if she wants to go out she'll say yes. Simple enough.

But you can ask it indirectly like: "Why don't you meet me...?"

or a statement

"You should meet me..."

Instead of a direct question: "Do you want to go...?"

It just comes off as a little less "please accept or reject me".

But it really doesn't matter. Either is fine, as long as you are upbeat and confident. If she wants to go out, she'll say yes. The "give commands" and "don't ask questions" thing is meant to set a dynamic for your interaction with one another. It really doesn't matter if you use it to get the first date or not. There isn't a dynamic yet, because she doesn't know you. The idea is to just get one on one time with her, by whatever means necessary.

If you are there in person, and can look into her eyes, and show your dominance, or if you have done some good work with her previously and made it to where she's sure that you will say yes, then go ahead and give directives to set up dates.

[Moma]

(02-11-2011 03:15 PM)MiXX Wrote:  

(02-11-2011 03:11 PM)Moma Wrote:  

I don't know if I asked this before but is your family mostly made up of women?

Yup. How'd you guess?

They are all alpha females too! The women call the shots and make the rules in all households of my family. Any man in the family steps out of line, and they are catching one in the left cheek.

mixx

Yea but are the men alpha? Correct me if I'm wrong but is the latin culture largely a matriarchal culture?

Sometimes we say females are alpha but I think certain cultures have alpha females because the men have not stepped up due to different societal reasons.
I feel that if a culture with an alpha females were flooded with alpha males, the alpha females would step down generally because females prefer to follow than lead.

For instance, I know that a lot of the English speaking Caribbean cultures are matriarchal and Caribbean and Latin people are rather similar in belief systems and behaviour.

[jfree]

(02-11-2011 02:11 PM)MiXX Wrote:  

A LTR for me is anything more than 2 weeks. Then its time to get serious or leave - I usually pick the latter

I once had a 5 year relationship in my early 20's, in the end, I got nothing out of it except frustration. Yeah, we had some good times, but you can have that with any fun girl. I never see the need to keep women around for LTR's, it sucks the life out of you, and it really does nothing to improve you as a man, or human being.

My family hates my player lifestyle. My mother has come to accept it, and the rest of my family just bad mouths me for being 36 and a lothario just like my dad and grandpa. You can't please everyone, so please yourself.

Mixx

Horses for courses.

-I prefer to raw-dog but I don't want any serious STDs (and already took care of any future unwanted kids permanently).
-I prefer honesty
-I'm addicted to being in "love"
-I'm hooked on a particular set of qualities in young pretty girls that naturally limits me
-Unfortunately my best game now depends on money and lifestyle and the fantasy young girls build about it (lazy, I know... it's why I'm here).
-I've never been the life of the party (I'm naturally shy).
-I'm the older man now.

So while I still swoop frequently, I go through many potentials before I find one that satisfies me. And when I do, it's just made more sense to me to play it longer to enjoy it fully. Since I see them in spurts when I travel, it keeps the relationship fresh and lessens the frustration. But I definitely don't have the energy to keep more than 3 at a time... 2 being ideal. Also, it's weird to ask a girl you just started with to get tested, but something that is fine in a longer relationship.

I'm definitely not the dynamo that you seem to be, Mixx. It's great that you've found what makes you happy. One question though, how do you handle getting older?

[MiXX]

(02-11-2011 04:43 PM)jfree Wrote:  

One question though, how do you handle getting older?

Simple: Love every minute of everyday I get to chase women, and the older I get, the better I get, and the more attractive I become in Latin America. You obviously have not been to Colombia if you need to ask that. ^^

My grandfather died at the age of 71 (or was it 81), anyway, he left a 20 year old pregnant. That's how I hope I die.

But you're right, horses for courses. ^^

MIxx

[Kickb]

didnt read your post but yea i always go for it. The one time i thought i was doing the right thing by not sealing the deal with the chick i fell into a period where i wallowed in self pity. that was a few months ago

[MiXX]

(02-11-2011 03:37 PM)hydrogonian Wrote:  

Interesting. I'm curious, as a result, do you prefer dominant or submissive women?

I prefer sexually aggressive/dominant women in bed, but submissive on the street. If that makes sense.

however, I am not with the whole dominatrix beat me with a leather whip while I wear a leather mask type shit...that's too much for me, and get no pleasure from it.

Mixx

[Kickb]

"If everything is flowing well, do you guys always push for sex on the first date, or wait? My train of thought was she'd be even more hot for me after the first date, which would have made the second date a guaruntee, but apparently not. I'm pissed at myself, because this girl is a super cute 8 out of 10, and in this town pickings are slim."

wow the similarities between our experiences are remarkably similar(couldnt take her out for drinks or anything but still similar outcomes)

Just tell yourself you wont ever do it again!

[jfree]

(02-11-2011 05:07 PM)MiXX Wrote:  

Simple: Love every minute of everyday I get to chase women, and the older I get, the better I get, and the more attractive I become in Latin America. You obviously have not been to Colombia if you need to ask that. ^^

My grandfather died at the age of 71 (or was it 81).

Mixx,

First, that's a very cool outlook on life.

Second, while I love my situation, for the type of girls I target, getting on into my 40's has definitely not helped. It was definitely easier in my 20's and 30's. But like with everything, I just had to adapt to life's changes and go for the new opportunities and angles.

Third, you'd be correct - never been to Colombia. Maybe if I did, it'll rekindle my desire for Latinas. I used to have a thing for Latinas during my 20's, but I had my fill. I have to say I don't connect with alot of Latin American culture nor Spanish nor Italian that I've experienced and have become quite biased. For instance, while I am aggressive and persistent, I don't click with the in your face misogyny that usually goes with machismo. My dislike of religious influences and the ignorance it tends toward doesnt help either.

But to be fair, I can't long tolerate Chinese and Vietnamese speaking girls either. The sound of the language turns me off. And some Korean girls have bad breath from eating all of that spicy fermented food. And don't get me started on heavy smokers.

On the other hand, my taste for wholesome-ish young blondes and innocent looking, taller than average east asians girls both with milky soft skin and smarts has only grown over the years. I love helping them explore their sensual side.

[oldnemesis]

(02-11-2011 02:11 PM)MiXX Wrote:  

A LTR for me is anything more than 2 weeks. Then its time to get serious or leave - I usually pick the latter

You didn't meet the right girl yet. I've been fucking since 13, and before I met my wife, I only had one LTR (which was just over six months, and I cheated on her on second month). Was pretty sure I'm not suited for LTRs and gonna spend my whole life chasing pussy. Then I met her, and two weeks ago we celebrated our ten years together; I'm still chasing pussy, but on much lower scale as there are more important (to me, at least) things to do

[MiXX]

@oldnemesis - the problem is that I have banged too many women in my life from all walks of life, races, financial means, looks, motives etc.

I have banged girls that swear they are die-hard religious "good girls" looking to become future nuns, (one even had a screenshot of Jesu Christ on her cell phone) immediately start praying after sex - begging for the lords forgiveness.

I have banged women who say "oh my god, I have never cheated on my husband before" right after having sex with me.

I have banged women in private jets that net more than $100M, to banging women that live in slums and ghettos - waiting for prince charming to save them from a life of struggle and hardship.

I have banged women who have elusive PHD's and keynote speakers at exclusive high society events, to banging women with only a GED and dreams.

I have banged my sexy 5th grade school teacher at a school reunion party that gave me hard-ons during math class. ** How many can say that?

I have banged gold-diggers and cave divers, to beauty pageant queens and ugly Bettys in a time of need.

I have banged women from as far south as Argentina, to as far east as Slovenia: They all favor doggie style over any position.

I have banged women who tell me they are strict lesbians and I am their first dick, to banging mother and daughter combinations.

I have banged women whose husbands have paid me to watch me fuck their wives at fetish parties. I once even banged two Colombiana twins backstage of a reggeaton concert in Medellin.

I have banged women who leave 100 dollar bills on my nightstand (without me asking for it) to women who have slashed the tires of my car and broke my windows.

I have banged women who have carried my seed and are in complete ecstasy at the thought of being the mother of my child, to later on miscarriage and cry until the sun goes down.

I have banged college girls and cougars alike, I even banged my mothers best girlfriend when I was 15. ** She still has not forgiven me for that

I have banged a corporate executive inside the bathroom of her office, and even banged a woman that worked at a spa in the middle of a jungle; right after she gave my girl a massage and she fell asleep.

I have banged good girls in Colombia to bad girls in New York, to bangin' Kim Kardashian look-a-like pros in Costa Rica.

I have banged women on the phone with their boyfriends; telling him how much she loves him while I'm pounding her.

I have banged women who are 3 weeks away from getting married, and will be making sacred promises to a man who will respect and love them 'til death.

I have banged women who cry for a man to truly love, but settle for a fuck while Mr. Right comes along.

I have banged daughters on the phone with their mothers, pretending to be 'doing laundry'.

I have banged blondes, latinas, white girls, sistas, brazilian, canadians.....all say the same thing: "I've never met anyone like you"

I have banged 3 virgins in my life, I wish I had more.....

I have banged bridesmaids, but never the bride....I have my limits you know.

I have banged 2 lady-cops, and 3 hardcore gangsta bitches strapped with 9mm weapons...I'll bang 'em all.

So, what does this all mean? I have a hard time trusting any woman who tells me "she loves me".......yeah, I banged many of those too!

Mixx

[thieflikeme]

.........
*starts slow clap*

[hydrogonian]

If someone comes up with a believable story about banging a bride, I swear that I''ll never think of an LTR for as long as I live

Seriously though, to paraphrase Mixx: Women are impulsive whores that can't be trusted.

I get that. And I'm pretty much with that perspective.

I do think that this perspective serves a certain practical function for a man, and it lies somewhere in-between the truth and something else.

More accurately, I think that women have to be properly managed in a relationship, and most guys have no idea how to do this. Or they don't want to do this. I don't, except for the most worthwhile of women. Its just too much work. And in today's age, its not easy.

Fail to properly manage her feelings toward you as well as her behavior, not unlike an impulsive emotional child, and your getting cheated on or otherwise fucked over down the road. As a relationship ages, I think that it gets harder as the spark tends to fade. Traditional values are what used to keep women in relationships after the spark naturally faded with time. Now, a woman with such values is difficult to find.

Most guys think that women have the same sense of loyalty, honor, and reason that the best of men can have. It doesn't exist with most women. Guys get lazy or too trusting in a woman's character, and BAM...she's fucking Mixx on her lunch break.

A man can have an LTR, but he has to be realistic about the reality of the situation. Women will justify their emotions and their impulses with the most ridiculous BS possible. To them, their emotion (vagina tingle) is their reality and their truth, for the most part.

If you can manage such a person, who doesn't embody what we as men consider "good character", then an LTR can be fun for a while. Just don't get caught by knocking her up. Guys who master the LTR "personality management" game, and come to happy terms with it, we refer to as the 50% of husbands and fathers that aren't divorced.

[FretDancer]

Holy fuck Mixx, I hope I can get to write a beautiful legit prose such as the one you just wrote, in a couple of years from now

[oldnemesis]

@MiXX, with the only exception of the virgin count, that's a hella impressive list!

To me the examples you provide are a clear indication that monogamy is unnatural for a significant number of people, and simply does not work. The fact someone made a promise to commit to the lifestyle not natural to them does not change anything, no matter how religious leaders would wish the opposite. We all know at least some cheating Kings, Queens, Emperors, Tzars and Presidents; some of those infidelities have caused political crisis’s, wars and impeachments. If people still cheat even when the stakes are so high, what could you expect from your average person?

And the solution I came to was simple: do not enter into a long-term relationship with someone with the sole purpose to prevent this person having sex with anyone but you. Do it only if you feel like you want to spend the rest of your life with this person, after you already spent some time together and found your match. Open relationships work quite well - at least no worse than monogamous relationships.

Just my five cents.

[raliv]

Shit Mixx. That was pure poetry.

[jfree]

(02-13-2011 03:04 PM)MiXX Wrote:  

So, what does this all mean? I have a hard time trusting any woman who tells me "she loves me".......yeah, I banged many of those too!

Mixx

You're right Mixx. I came to a similar conclusion about women as you did. But, yet, I have a wife that I love who wonderfully raises our kids.

You see, I've learned over the years that, essentially, trust is a choice we make based on hope not a guarantee. Because, philosophically, if something is an actual sure thing, there is no need for trust.

-As a traveler, I know that planes crash, cars get into fatal accidents, muggers rob, epidemics break out, and food can be tainted. Yet, I still trust that they are unlikely to happen to me and continue to enjoy travel for extended stays throughout the year.

-As a businessman, I have been screwed over by various men and women in both large and small ways. Yet, I keep hiring employees and trust that they will use their talents and effort to increase business and profit (which typically benefits me most). Has it always happened? No. But, overall, the trust was warranted. I definitely could not have a successful set of businesses without trust.

-As a "lothario", I know that I can get STDs from oral(always unprotected for me both giving and receiving) and unprotected vaginal sex. I also have problems with some girls who turn crazy on me despite helping them understand exactly the ins on outs of the affair and screening them well. Yet, I still have sex with continuing numbers of new girls and trust that some will turn into great affairs for both me and them.

Which brings me back to "why trust women". For me, it was not about trusting that they stay sexually faithful. I don't. What I do choose to trust is that I was VERY lucky to find someone who naturally loves children and enjoys being with them almost all the time, who is intelligent (statistically smart women raise smart kids not to mention I truly enjoy her company and input), and is very beautiful and good at maintaining herself (good for my ego). But best of all, she has been so far fine with me having affairs as long as it is in another country.

So will it last, I trust so... but who the hell really knows, she can go crazy one day and drown all of the kids, or I can die or go crazy (nothing else would matter at that point), or a comet/asteroid can wipe humanity off the face of the earth. But, one thing I do know, I definitely would have no chance at having and raising beautiful smart kids if I didn't select a mate and opt to trust.

In purely male<->female dynamics, some women are mothers, some are daughters, some are mistresses, and the rest are fucks. Horses for courses.

[hydrogonian]

(02-14-2011 03:05 AM)jfree Wrote:  

In purely male<->female dynamics, some women are mothers, some are daughters, some are mistresses, and the rest are fucks. Horses for courses.

Good post jfree.

Notice that in the above quote, there is no "some women are (natural) wives."

I think that says a lot about the legitimacy of Mixx's perspective and the psychology of women.