[Captain Ahab]

Awesome post OG. Wow, so elaborate and constructive.

Approach anxiety is what it is. I struggled with this since I did my first approach. I think it has decreased now that I have more awareness of my approach anxiety.

Honestly, I don’t even fear blow outs. I can handle rejection fine.

But for some odd reason every time I am about to approach a woman I’m attracted to this anxiety/fear thing scrambles my circuits. It is like my brain and emotions want to do everything to not approach. I mentioned this earlier but it is like having a tiger in the room or something.

It goes to show you that my main problem with women is psychological. Luckily, I am making positive steps forward.
What I am thinking before the approach is triggering this emotional reaction so I have to recalibrate myself. I have to remove whatever the perceived threat to me is that is causing my brain to go into fight or flight mode.

This is real CBT stuff here.

I have to really ACT like I don’t seek external validation, ACT like I am not afraid of the blow out, ACT like I don’t give a fuck.
Even if I am uncomfortable doing so I need to ACT like it.

Rather than thinking: “Oh my god, a girl I want to approach, oh shit she is talking with her friends. I don’t’ want to interrupt them. Oh, I can wait a little while and see what happens. Oh, I am just taking it easy tonight…just observing. I am chilling, maybe after another few drinks I will approach. Man, what will people think of me if I approach. Hmmmm, look at that girl over there, what will she think if I approach, will she think I am a player? Jesus, what am I doing it is late. I think I am going to go to sleep. Oh, this music is nice. Maybe I should dance first?”

I should be thinking: “Oh, there is a sexy woman. Wow. Hmm, I am feeling anxious and afraid but whatever, this is the feeling I always feel before I approach a woman. It will go away when I approach her,” and I should approach the girl.

Or, “Damn she is fine. I am going to check her out…WEEEEEE FUNNNN,” and approach.

Or, “Damn, that bitch is fine. BRING IT!” and approach.

Or, “Hot chick…1, 2,3, GO!” and approach.


Operating from the mindset of experience+not being attached to outcome+being able to handle whatever may come is what I need to ingrain That is the mindset.

And making sure I approach EVERYTIME I feel that fear/brainscrambling/walking on eggshells feeling, EVERYTIME, is what is going to finally release me from this mental emotional prison that has held me back for so many damn years.

I think one quote in a recent Return of Kings article mentioned that men have to learn to be excruciatingly uncomfortable.

I agree with that.

Dating is not easy. I mean hell, dating is quite difficult.

I remember one of my super player friends I knew back in the day said it best: “Attracting lots of women is easy. LEARNING how to attract lots of women is very very difficult. If it were easy every man in the world would be dating 9’s and 10s.”

Anxiety, Emotion, and Intelligence can turn a social situation into a fucking heavy weight fight. I think the biggest shift for me that occurred recently is understanding that there is a time for thinking and then there is a time for action. Approaching is pure ACTION. You have to approach. Don’t think, don’t judge,don’t try think of a perfect line, just slide right into the approach the way you would slide ride into warm bath water.

In terms of the dry spell? Well, it has been a while. I would be happy with a 5. I can’t do fat girls though. I can’t get it up for chubby so I don’t know why I am currently a “chubby chaser” on my handle.

And yes, like you, I spend most of my life in my head. I have to stop. Like seriously, S-T-O-P. The most important thing a man can have in regards to dating is BALLS. That is what I need. Action, Courage, GO, Attack, PUNCH, Jump, Swim, Kick. Not, “what is the best line I should use to kick this person?” No, you freaking kick in a fight. Same with approaching. You got to access that fight portion of the fight or flight response.


I like your mindset discussion as well. In the end I see sex as a competition between other men. We are trying to get the females. Putting it in that perspective, it turns my red blood up a notch since I am a very competitive person. I literally almost beat people up over losing a game of checkers.

So yeah, stepping into the club, seeing those other jokers talking to women., that pisses me off! I am better than all those pansies. I should be the one dominating. I should not be there to watch,scope the room, order a drink and chill. FUCK THAT. I am there to go Lebron James on everyone. That is the mindset I need to have. Fuck the discomfort. Hell, learn to enjoy it.

Also, you are spot on about women being sexual beings (otherwise there wouldn’t be players) and the power of a simple opener (which I use now since using pua lines cost me much more than I ever gained). I think game to me, as I understand it, is a man taking the lead and making things happen, which I feel is the natural role of a man. I never understood that until a week or so ago. You have to lead. You have to be the leader in the sexual dance.

Venues? Well, I focus mostly on bars. Clubs are okay but the loud music makes it hard to spit game at all. I haven’t done Day game yet so that should be something I consider. They have a huge international mall right down the road from where I live. I should check that out on a Saturday.

Night game is more my comfort zone.

You must have a lot of game. You covered a lot of wisdom that I did not come across in this forum, or any PUA related material. Not sure how you came across it but you uncovered some serious shit.

I will check out Mr. Nasheed’s commentary.

It is time to fight!

Rep point earned (and long overdue).

Let me know if you ever are in the Tampa Bay area.

[el mechanico]

OG is the man +1 from me if I haven't already

[Giovonny]

(04-03-2013 06:53 PM)Captain Ahab Wrote:  

I think one of the biggest revelations was accepting that walking on egg shells feeling (called anxiety) is not going to go away.

I don't believe this.

Anxiety can be removed. Maybe not 100%, but 99% of it can be removed.

Anxiety is just fear. Fear can be removed.

Approach 1000 girls during the day. 99% of approach anxiety will be gone.

Do the fear removing strategies I talk about in this post, 99% of anxiety will be removed:

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-15400-...#pid259546

(04-03-2013 06:53 PM)Captain Ahab Wrote:  

Time to get stupid.

If you want stupid results, you need to take stupid action!

Average action will lead to average results!

[Lothario]

Captain ever thought about enjoying the Anxiety, The eggshell feeling you talk about.....Use it to your adavatage.. for Instance whenever I see a Hot Damn Girl that excites my Blood, that gives me the motivation to Approach, I stop whatever I am doing, Get up and I have to go talk to that Girl. Use your Anxiety as a que to go and talk to Girls .

Great posts Gio and OG .

[Captain Ahab]

(04-04-2013 02:21 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

(04-03-2013 06:53 PM)Captain Ahab Wrote:  

I think one of the biggest revelations was accepting that walking on egg shells feeling (called anxiety) is not going to go away.

I don't believe this.

Anxiety can be removed. Maybe not 100%, but 99% of it can be removed.

Anxiety is just fear. Fear can be removed.

Approach 1000 girls during the day. 99% of approach anxiety will be gone.

Do the fear removing strategies I talk about in this post, 99% of anxiety will be removed:

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-15400-...#pid259546

(04-03-2013 06:53 PM)Captain Ahab Wrote:  

Time to get stupid.

If you want stupid results, you need to take stupid action!

Average action will lead to average results!

Correct. I think my comfort zone in this arena will expand the more I force myself out of the comfort zone, over and over again.

I'll check out your link on the fear removal.

Thanks.

[Captain Ahab]

(04-04-2013 03:18 PM)Lothario Wrote:  

Captain ever thought about enjoying the Anxiety, The eggshell feeling you talk about.....Use it to your adavatage.. for Instance whenever I see a Hot Damn Girl that excites my Blood, that gives me the motivation to Approach, I stop whatever I am doing, Get up and I have to go talk to that Girl. Use your Anxiety as a que to go and talk to Girls .

Great posts Gio and OG .

That is a good reframe. I should see my fear as the signal to approach and practice courage versus dwelling on it and being stuck in retreat. In the end the fear is coming from what ever my perspective is focused on so I need to keep a clear head, be objective, and act with awareness.

The mind is not where I need to go when I am out in the field doing pick up. This arena of life is not intellectual, it is very much confidence and instinct. It is built into us. I just need to listen to what my body tells me rather than my mind/emotions.

Going out Friday and Saturday. I will report the results.

[Lothario]

(03-11-2013 08:39 AM)Captain Ahab Wrote:  

My first order of business is confronting my fear of approaching, handling rejection, ego-smashing discomfort, and getting past the opening bell.

I am not going to front, I still shit a brick before I approach a girl.

Howdy Captain rereading your initial post and I want to get to the bottom of your problem. Help me and others understand what exactly is that you are afraid of

You said you are Introverted and socially awkward and may not want to discuses your inner fears on this open forum, PM me if that's the case but I think it will be a healthy exercise to give zero fuck and discuss it so that the problem can be rectified.

Reading your post I'm thinking and correct me if I am wrong

1. Fear of Approaching ..... but Why ? : Again what exactly are you afraid of, Other people seeing you get rejected, Is it ? That was the problem with me 5 yrs ago, I used to give tons of fucks to people around me, These days I give zero fucks what others are thinking about me, I started living my life through my own eyes and not through others.

I will quote What Krauser said in an Interview, This resonated very well with me

" You should be more vested in your opinion about yourself then other people's opinion about yourself" (He quoted from a book on game)

If you are afraid that she will reject you before even approaching then you have lost the game before stepping in the ground.

2. Handling Rejection: Is rejection painful, If You think low of yourself when a girl rejects you, then you are giving more power to the girl and are more vested in a girls opinion about you.

Your Rejection is not going to be in the newspaper tomorrow and even if it is, Who gives a fuck. Some random people will know that you got rejected. What another experienced player taught me was true that deep down most people will support you or get out of your way because you are spitting game on some chica that they are not gaming ......just like you are watching other Alphas approach and you are not interrupting them , Are you ......

Roosh had a blog post where he advised how to Psych yourself before approaching or the right mindset for approaching .... jist is it is the Girls loss to not give you a chance, she was lucky that you talked to her, Believe that shit, live that shit or like some one else put it...... Just start thinking and believing that she needs your cock.


3. Ego Smashing discomfort ?????? Improve your Inner Game and believe in your worth, Your ego should not be like a egg shell but much more Stronger. I'm baffled discomfort from a girl rejecting you, who gives a shit....

4. Getting past the Opening Bell. That's easy , Start using the 3 second rule , Whenever you see a girl that you like say the first thing that comes to your mind with in 3 seconds or you will start to cockblock yourself and chicken out of the Approach , Your brain will give you reasons as to why you shouldn't approach.

In the beginning you need to Approach just for the sake of Approaching and when you are past the Approach Anxiety , you will get selective in your Approaches , You will know what kind of girls like you, you will read the Interest from Girls a whole lot better etc etc but at this stage get out there and Approach like a mutherfucker high on Cocaine . Get out there and get rejected 10 X and you will be getting closer to the one that is going to say yes.

Random Thoughts :

You might be afraid to approach as you might be thinking you might run out of material, or the Girl has a set of headphone in, She has such a serious facial expression, She just got a ticket she must not be in a good mood, She is jogging .......... All excuses .... Another mantra to live by .

"The only bad Approach is the one that you didn't make"

You talk about Indirect vs Direct, we have beaten that topic to death experiment with both and going in between and see what works for you.

Lastly team up with a RVF member .... ahem..... myself or the likes of my Brother Gio who Approach a lot.... e-mech's style is different he doesn't approach a lot but spits a mean and lethal sitting Cobra Game.

You will imbibe a lot from a Forum Members just by watching them in Action.

Happy Hunting Captain, Now I want to see some approaches reports from you tomorrow ........

[Captain Ahab]

(04-04-2013 08:45 PM)Lothario Wrote:  

(03-11-2013 08:39 AM)Captain Ahab Wrote:  

My first order of business is confronting my fear of approaching, handling rejection, ego-smashing discomfort, and getting past the opening bell.

I am not going to front, I still shit a brick before I approach a girl.

Howdy Captain rereading your initial post and I want to get to the bottom of your problem. Help me and others understand what exactly is that you are afraid of

You said you are Introverted and socially awkward and may not want to discuses your inner fears on this open forum, PM me if that's the case but I think it will be a healthy exercise to give zero fuck and discuss it so that the problem can be rectified.

Reading your post I'm thinking and correct me if I am wrong

1. Fear of Approaching ..... but Why ? : Again what exactly are you afraid of, Other people seeing you get rejected, Is it ? That was the problem with me 5 yrs ago, I used to give tons of fucks to people around me, These days I give zero fucks what others are thinking about me, I started living my life through my own eyes and not through others.

I will quote What Krauser said in an Interview, This resonated very well with me

" You should be more vested in your opinion about yourself then other people's opinion about yourself" (He quoted from a book on game)

If you are afraid that she will reject you before even approaching then you have lost the game before stepping in the ground.

2. Handling Rejection: Is rejection painful, If You think low of yourself when a girl rejects you, then you are giving more power to the girl and are more vested in a girls opinion about you.

Your Rejection is not going to be in the newspaper tomorrow and even if it is, Who gives a fuck. Some random people will know that you got rejected. What another experienced player taught me was true that deep down most people will support you or get out of your way because you are spitting game on some chica that they are not gaming ......just like you are watching other Alphas approach and you are not interrupting them , Are you ......

Roosh had a blog post where he advised how to Psych yourself before approaching or the right mindset for approaching .... jist is it is the Girls loss to not give you a chance, she was lucky that you talked to her, Believe that shit, live that shit or like some one else put it...... Just start thinking and believing that she needs your cock.


3. Ego Smashing discomfort ?????? Improve your Inner Game and believe in your worth, Your ego should not be like a egg shell but much more Stronger. I'm baffled discomfort from a girl rejecting you, who gives a shit....

4. Getting past the Opening Bell. That's easy , Start using the 3 second rule , Whenever you see a girl that you like say the first thing that comes to your mind with in 3 seconds or you will start to cockblock yourself and chicken out of the Approach , Your brain will give you reasons as to why you shouldn't approach.

In the beginning you need to Approach just for the sake of Approaching and when you are past the Approach Anxiety , you will get selective in your Approaches , You will know what kind of girls like you, you will read the Interest from Girls a whole lot better etc etc but at this stage get out there and Approach like a mutherfucker high on Cocaine . Get out there and get rejected 10 X and you will be getting closer to the one that is going to say yes.

Random Thoughts :

You might be afraid to approach as you might be thinking you might run out of material, or the Girl has a set of headphone in, She has such a serious facial expression, She just got a ticket she must not be in a good mood, She is jogging .......... All excuses .... Another mantra to live by .

"The only bad Approach is the one that you didn't make"

You talk about Indirect vs Direct, we have beaten that topic to death experiment with both and going in between and see what works for you.

Lastly team up with a RVF member .... ahem..... myself or the likes of my Brother Gio who Approach a lot.... e-mech's style is different he doesn't approach a lot but spits a mean and lethal sitting Cobra Game.

You will imbibe a lot from a Forum Members just by watching them in Action.

Happy Hunting Captain, Now I want to see some approaches reports from you tomorrow ........

Wow, thanks for well thought out response.

I am glad I got some folks on the forum hovering over me to ensure I succeed in this endeavor.

Long story short, I am not sure what I am afraid of anymore since I have done approaches, suffered blow outs (even getting punched in the face once), and still have issues with approach anxiety.

Honestly, I have issues with anxiety period. I notice that I tremble a bit when I have to get confrontational (as recently as arguing with my lawyer about some traffic tickets he claimed were dismissed but in fact were not) or when I have to constantly yell at disruptive kids to settle down in class (I am a substitute teacher).

I think my biggest issue is I fear feeling emotional pain. It is something that I am not used to, something I avoid a lot, and it has caused me a lot of needless suffering over the years. It corrupts your mind, shatters your soul, leaves your life void of any fun whatsoever.

Facing social rejection and being comfortable sexually are hurdles I am looking to climb over.

I was working out at the local gym and noticed a fly blonde working out next to me. I felt the impulse to look away when I felt she would notice me looking at her but I held my ground and decided not to. I checked her out and smiled.

Willpower.

I have to stop being a victim of my inner demons if I am to get anywhere in pick up, hell, if I am get to anywhere in life!

I'll reread what you posted a few times to let it sink in. I really liked GIO's post on fear and how being afraid is a recipe for a shitty life. I can honestly say I have let fear and embarrassed hold me back way to long.

I am going on 30. I look back at the past 29 years and give myself a B-. Granted, I did do well, had a lot of fun, made some good memories (and a shit ton of bad ones), made every mistake a man could make with women I suppose, but hey it is all experience.

An ounce of experience is worth more than a ton in theory.


I have to get out there and start taking the hits.

This is what manhood is about, being able to deal with discomfort in order to pursue what you want in life, whether if it is the pain of rejection after an approach, the soreness in your hands when writing a novel, the cold air that hits your face while hunting a grizzly bear. I mean, this is it. This is life.

Stop avoiding life. Go live the shit.

Going out tonight. I probably will have about an hour and a half once I get home from work. I should get at-least four approaches in.

I have to stop living life like a scared little boy seeking his comfort zone every second of the day.

[Captain Ahab]

Alright, throwing caution to the wind.

I went out last night to South Howard, a local area of bars and clubs where the 18-30 aged crowd tends to congregate. My Friday night spot.

I walked down the street and was welcomed by cold air in April. Walking down the street with folded arms grinning and bearing, I kicked myself for not having worn a hoody but wanted to show off my newly acquired muscles,after three months of four day a week weight/cardio work outs.

I spotted a club/bar on my right as soon as I turn the corner of W.Swann and make another left onto Howard street.

I walk in and check out the scene.

I spend about ten or so minutes just looking and watching.

I was coming dangerously close to repeating another night of looking and staring until a cool dude, heavy set, short, muscular, decides to approach me and ask why I wasn't talking to women? I told him I was chilling and smiled. He immediately started pumping some confidence in me saying “if he had what I had (my looks, my "beads" ((exotic jewelry I got from Brazil)), he would be drowning in pussy.” He even asked if he could have some of the left overs.

We talked for a bit.

After the surprise of being accosted by random cool dude helping me out with inner game, I knew it was time to get it on.

Somebody is watching out for me...

*Bell rings*

Approach #1:

2 set, white chicks, one no more than 21 with black hair/tan skin (Jersey Shore), the other over 30 brunette.

I introduce myself to the attractive one on the right. I tell them "Hey, how is it going?" mention my name and tell them they both looked great tonight. The conversation was pretty basic (Where are you from? How long you been in the area? What are you drinking?)

It seems that is what I normally do with most of my approaches.

After less than three minutes of conversation (and asking the attractive girl to dance to which she said she was good where she was at ((with friends on some dudes night out))) I said "nice meeting you guys" and ejected.

C>5

Approach #2:

Small girl, black hair/tan skin (Jersey shore).

She is playing with her smartphone sitting on the table. I had to make my way out of the crowd (where I said hello to some girls dancing) and found her in front of me after the shoves and the pushes. I ask her what she was doing and that she looked kinda serious texting on her phone. She ignored me. I asked her if she was into the music and wanted to dance. She said she had a boyfriend.

Blow-out.

Approach #3:

Group of three girls standing near the door of the "IT" spot to be in South Tampa on a Friday night (MacDintons).

I approach after ordering my usual diet coke. The response was positive.
I introduced myself and polled for names. One of the girls touched me immediately, the soft grazing of her hand down my chest and the side of my body (IOI). I probed to continue the conversation but the girl who gave me the IOI must have seen someone she knew and bolted with her friend leaving the lone girl stranded and feeling awkward.

She eventually bailed after being left solo.

C>5


Approach #4:

Two Latinas. One of them black hair tan skin the other white girl looking but was half Colombian.

I opened with the typical “hey what's up?”, and initiated a conversation.
The white one was with a guy who turned out to be someone she was romantically involved with (boyfriend I assume, they kissed), the other one, the more attractive one, decided to entertain me a bit.
After the introductions and small talk she told me that she was planning on becoming a nun in a convent and was just partying now to get it out of her system. I ran with it and unfortunately, the conversation got pretty intellectual. I inquired about her religion, why she was choosing the nunnery, if she had studied other religions, what part of Colombia she was from, etc. Eventually I grew tired of the conversation, tried to initiate something else but the moments of silences were getting pretty long. I ejected, saying “have a good night,” and bailed.

They started laughing as I left. I guess they were having fun with me.

C<5

Approach #5:

Older lady, Latin looking, must have been atleast 40.

I approach her and say hello and she ignores me. I said in a kinda snide tone that she must not know English which she replied "Oh, I KNOW English!" and turned back around.

Blow out

Approach #6:

Group of sexy Latina chicks dancing to hip hop on the dance floor.

I saw one that was a great dancer. She made that ass drop right in front of me so I had to attack. I launched into action complementing her moves and asking for her name. She told me her name and we had a little chat. I asked to take the lead (dancing is something I am super confident in doing).Took less than a minute before she told me her boyfriend was over there (pointed him out) and I said cool. Conversation died after that revelation.

C>5

Approach #7:

Danced to some music for a good fifteen minutes (not really a good thing....more comfort zone got to kill that shit) and noticed a sexy white girl dancing with another girl.

I motioned to go for the dance asking if I could take the lead but her friend cock blocked me via pulling her away from me and making herself an obstacle to the girl. Oh well.

Blow out

Approach #8:

I got tired of MacDinton's (tired as in I sit around, drink my drink, people watch and not approach) and decided to explore a bit. I went across the street to this "Saloon" place and yeah, it was no doubt country. I haven’t heard country music in a bar in quite a long time.

As soon as I entered I caught the eye of a pretty hot blonde. I approached with the typical” hey what's up? my name is Captain Ahab.” She told me her name and offered a hand shake. I obliged and small talk started. I probed her with the usual where she is from? How long has she been in the area? What does she do for fun? The conversation was very one sided. It was a bit of a group conversation since she was next to some guy, looked near 34, balding, and was trying to hit on her as well I suppose.

Eventually the moments of silence got too long to believe things were going to escalate with the girl but I plowed anyway. She must have realized I wasn't going to quit and bailed to her circle of friends.

C<5

Approach #9:

Three set, mixed group of white chicks standing near the heating lamp.

I walked up and said hello.

I had the best conversation of the night with a brunette. It was refreshing to have someone ask something about me for once (always a good sign). I probed with the typical getting to know you stuff and we covered stuff about the area, what they liked to do, etc. The brunette said it was nice meeting me and took a seat with some other friends with the other girls following suit.

C<5

Overall it was a rough night. The weather sucked, the guy to girl ratio was not in my favor, and I was still struggling with anxiety, negative thinking, and comfort zone bullshit.

I could have easily done seven more approaches but I didn't for fear of having to deal with the awkward feelings of go nowhere conversations and my low amount of confidence in a set going anywhere other than straight “No’s or “Nice meeting you’s.” But whatever, I persisted and opened anyway. Nine approaches on a second night out ain't that bad.




Sticking points:

*I need to get comfortable approaching women, and I mean any woman I find attractive, regardless if she is with her girlfriends, mixed sets, whatever.

I can't see myself getting much out of this game if I don't approach women I find attractive on a consistent basis. You get comfortable approaching by doing approaches.


*My opener is simple and easy to pull off but I got to pull it off consistently.

Anytime I feel the arch enemy (inner pussy) fucking with me I need to kill that shit. He always appears right when I want to approach a girl and tells me every reason in the world to not approach the girl (She is with friends, she is with a guy, she wouldn't like me, what is the point anyway of approaching blah blah blah).

*Unattachment to outcome

Now I see why this skill is so important. As long as you are detached to the outcome of an approach you will always have anxiety and fear approaching. The goal should be to approach and that is it. Approaching is what you are looking to do not get laid. The chips will fall where they may but keep your mindset on approaching and seeing what happens.

*Faking fun

It is hard for me to fake like I am having fun when doing all this pick up stuff is an emotional tug of war within myself. I won’t even bother thinking about getting laid until I first get comfortable approaching and getting blown out. There is no reason to put the cart before the horse.

*No more information/inner game wisdom.

My tank is overflowing with knowledge and theory. From now on, for the next couple months, it is all about practice. Go out, approach, take notes, and journal. I journal everyday so it will be nice to reflect on what is going on inside me I need to change and what is going on outside me I need to become more comfortable with.



It was definitely a painful night. I got teary eyed as I was driving home after facing all the emotional pain of rejection/akward moments.

It is something my body is not use to but I feel it is the little approval seeking boy dying inside of me. He needs to be spanked HARD if I am going to have him not controlling my life anymore.

I consider the night a success since I was playing mostly unconsciously (in my mind and emotions rather than objective perspective/and action). There was a tiger in the room the whole night and I danced around anyway.

+1 balls.

I'm going out tonight to YBOR (nightlife district, tons of bars and clubs) and want to check out some bars. I am shooting for ten approaches tonight.

[OGNorCal707]

I'm super exhausted after a long night, but I'm going to drop a quick reply before I try to crash and get some rest. Nice break down on your night, first of all props to you for rolling out there solo dolo, sticking with it, and busting out 9 approaches. That is putting in work my friend, and putting in work is respect.

Now to your game, it's really hard to try to analyze and break things down based off a written description, but I will offer some feedback. It sounds like you are opening well, and it's cool to ask girls questions, but don't fall into the trap where you are basically "interviewing them", asking question after question, "where you from, how long you lived here, where you work, etc." That can be a very dull and boring conversation, and the idea and goal is to get them asking questions about you. I remember a while back Roosh had a game post on his blog where he said a good indicator of how interested a woman is in you, is how many questions she asks you, and how personal the questions are. If she doesn't ask you any questions, then chances are she's not into you.

Now back to the conversation thing, I don't get the impression that you are doing a very good job of flirting and "creating a sexual vibe". I know you don't want to get too caught up in PUA tactics, but a lot of this shit is the backbone of seduction, stuff like "teasing", "cocky funny", "push-pull", etc. Basically you want to tease them, act slightly aloof and cocky, but funny, alternate by pushing them away, and pulling them in. More than anything you need to take the conversation and interaction from the cordial state to the sexual state. Do this by using innuendos, flirting, and escalating kino (touching).

Another issue that I think you may be facing is your body language, mannerism, facial expressions, tonality, etc. Without seeing you in action there is no way I can know, but maybe your body language and "vibe" are kind of off. If you are having anxiety and aren't feeling fully confident, this may manifesting itself in your body language, be mindful of how you are standing, how you have your hands, how you look and scan the room. Obviously you want to stand up straight with good posture, head held high, chest out, try not to lean in when talking to women, unless you can't hear them, or are being flirtatious and whispering something in their ear. If you are drinking by yourself, try not to fidget or fiddle around too much with your drink or phone, done stare at the ground, don't walk around the bar in circles. Slow your movements down, lean back, and if you are posted against the bar or a wall, try to "take up a lot of space", stretch out, and maintain dominant body language.

Any how, I got a lot more advice I can give, but I would just say stick with it, and like you said yourself, try to stay unattached to the outcome. You've probably heard the expression "repetition is the mother of all skill", well pick up is a skill, it can be learned, but it has to be one of the more difficult skills to master. I'd say it's going to be much easier for the average man to master the skill of playing a musical instrument or speaking a foreign language, then it is for picking up women. You got to really stick with it and grind it out in the trenches if you want to improve in this game. But the point being, is that "practice makes the master". Roosh is a brilliant man, but he got to where he is, by being absolutely obsessed with game and eating, living, and breathing it for years. He didn't read a couple game blogs, go out to the bars a few times, and instantly transform to a Cassanova. It's just the same way that you wouldn't walk into the boxing, muay thai, or jiujitsu gym and be an expert after a few months of classes.

Finally, keep in mind that rolling solo dolo is fucking hard. If you can find a wingman, anyone will suffice to start as long as they are presentable, aren't completely retarded, and won't cock block. I fucking hate rolling solo and pretty much never do it, I always dig deep and try to find a wingman, but considering I have lived in the same town for 10 years, it makes it a lot easier for me, than it would be in your situation. Also, I know I have said this before, but I think you may need to lower your standards if you goal is just to fuck. It sounds like you have an eye for talent and your approaches are on some fly females, so respect for aiming high, but shit man, women lower on the scale are just that much easier to smash.

Currently I am on one of my hottest streaks since I been in the game, I got 3 ONS 3 weeks in a row now, 3 out of the last 4 nights pulling. Now, I mention this not as a brag, but because the chicks I been fucking aren't all that hot. 3 weeks ago she was a 4.75 I told myself I just needed to get my knob slobbed and bust the nut, and end the dry spell. I ended the dry spell and a week later I was fucking a 7. Last night, I was tired and feeling like shit, but I hit this warehouse party, this 30 year old 6 was sweating my big, tall, and handsome friend, but he basically wasn't feeling her and passed her to me. She was not really feeling me at first, but through game I was able to build attraction, and threw the cards on the table and she was down to go home with me. Unfortunately, what kind of sucked, but is a whole other story is that we dropped off her much hotter friend (half white/half Indian) younger 7.5, and her friend rode up front when I wwas driving, she was all grabbing my dick, rubbing my leg, and I put my hand up her skirt on her pussy, and I knew she wanted to fuck, but I already committed to the 30 year old 6. Agghh... but I digress, the 30 year old "6" was not amused, but I was still able to plow threw and get the notch. I wish there was a way I could have flipped the script and fucked the half Indian chick, but logistically it would have never worked. Moral of the story is that you can be fucking every week if you really want to, just lower your standards fuck some average chick and get your mojo up.

[BoneDaddy]

Hey Cap'n, great breakdown on your night out. I've worked SOHO many times and I just never find that area to be productive. Its convenient, therefore I occasionally continue to try.

You might consider dropping in the Green Iguana, on South Westshore. Its always a diverse group and always a good time.

Alternatively, the next neighborhood over from SOHO, Old Hyde Park has a couple of places you might want to hit. Timpano would be good for suit game and Irish 31 always looks packed although I've not yet ducked inside.

We def need to hook up sometime, I'll throw myself on a few grenades for you.

[Giovonny]

Gotta go to work. Will check back in this thread later.

Great stuff guys!

[Lothario]

Strong work Captain , Keep at it .....

Good Luck tonight, Do connect with Bonedaddy or whoever else is in your area and get a live Critique on your Approaches, OG is right your Approaches shouldn't sound like Interviews, Read Bang and Day Bang agin and follow or try to follow the blue print of the Approach, My Intial problems were asking questions and at that personal questions very early in the interaction at like 12 second mark. Yeah the big man was timing my questions and Approaches.

How are you doing on Rambling , Can you talk to the Latina about Colombia for about 5 minutes in different tangents non-stop and throw DHV/Bait here and there and force the Latina to ask you a personal question ? Seriously sitting at home think about a random topic and ramble and time yourself.

What about Day Game ? or you are trying to get the Night Game down before trying the Day Game Hack, I find Day Approaches to be more natural and a solid connection but everybody is different. Why wait till tonight, Go do your Groceries etc etc and Get 5-10 Day Approaches in..

Happy Hunting .......

[Captain Ahab]

(04-06-2013 11:11 AM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

I'm super exhausted after a long night, but I'm going to drop a quick reply before I try to crash and get some rest. Nice break down on your night, first of all props to you for rolling out there solo dolo, sticking with it, and busting out 9 approaches. That is putting in work my friend, and putting in work is respect.

Now to your game, it's really hard to try to analyze and break things down based off a written description, but I will offer some feedback. It sounds like you are opening well, and it's cool to ask girls questions, but don't fall into the trap where you are basically "interviewing them", asking question after question, "where you from, how long you lived here, where you work, etc." That can be a very dull and boring conversation, and the idea and goal is to get them asking questions about you. I remember a while back Roosh had a game post on his blog where he said a good indicator of how interested a woman is in you, is how many questions she asks you, and how personal the questions are. If she doesn't ask you any questions, then chances are she's not into you.

Now back to the conversation thing, I don't get the impression that you are doing a very good job of flirting and "creating a sexual vibe". I know you don't want to get too caught up in PUA tactics, but a lot of this shit is the backbone of seduction, stuff like "teasing", "cocky funny", "push-pull", etc. Basically you want to tease them, act slightly aloof and cocky, but funny, alternate by pushing them away, and pulling them in. More than anything you need to take the conversation and interaction from the cordial state to the sexual state. Do this by using innuendos, flirting, and escalating kino (touching).

Another issue that I think you may be facing is your body language, mannerism, facial expressions, tonality, etc. Without seeing you in action there is no way I can know, but maybe your body language and "vibe" are kind of off. If you are having anxiety and aren't feeling fully confident, this may manifesting itself in your body language, be mindful of how you are standing, how you have your hands, how you look and scan the room. Obviously you want to stand up straight with good posture, head held high, chest out, try not to lean in when talking to women, unless you can't hear them, or are being flirtatious and whispering something in their ear. If you are drinking by yourself, try not to fidget or fiddle around too much with your drink or phone, done stare at the ground, don't walk around the bar in circles. Slow your movements down, lean back, and if you are posted against the bar or a wall, try to "take up a lot of space", stretch out, and maintain dominant body language.

Any how, I got a lot more advice I can give, but I would just say stick with it, and like you said yourself, try to stay unattached to the outcome. You've probably heard the expression "repetition is the mother of all skill", well pick up is a skill, it can be learned, but it has to be one of the more difficult skills to master. I'd say it's going to be much easier for the average man to master the skill of playing a musical instrument or speaking a foreign language, then it is for picking up women. You got to really stick with it and grind it out in the trenches if you want to improve in this game. But the point being, is that "practice makes the master". Roosh is a brilliant man, but he got to where he is, by being absolutely obsessed with game and eating, living, and breathing it for years. He didn't read a couple game blogs, go out to the bars a few times, and instantly transform to a Cassanova. It's just the same way that you wouldn't walk into the boxing, muay thai, or jiujitsu gym and be an expert after a few months of classes.

Finally, keep in mind that rolling solo dolo is fucking hard. If you can find a wingman, anyone will suffice to start as long as they are presentable, aren't completely retarded, and won't cock block. I fucking hate rolling solo and pretty much never do it, I always dig deep and try to find a wingman, but considering I have lived in the same town for 10 years, it makes it a lot easier for me, than it would be in your situation. Also, I know I have said this before, but I think you may need to lower your standards if you goal is just to fuck. It sounds like you have an eye for talent and your approaches are on some fly females, so respect for aiming high, but shit man, women lower on the scale are just that much easier to smash.

Currently I am on one of my hottest streaks since I been in the game, I got 3 ONS 3 weeks in a row now, 3 out of the last 4 nights pulling. Now, I mention this not as a brag, but because the chicks I been fucking aren't all that hot. 3 weeks ago she was a 4.75 I told myself I just needed to get my knob slobbed and bust the nut, and end the dry spell. I ended the dry spell and a week later I was fucking a 7. Last night, I was tired and feeling like shit, but I hit this warehouse party, this 30 year old 6 was sweating my big, tall, and handsome friend, but he basically wasn't feeling her and passed her to me. She was not really feeling me at first, but through game I was able to build attraction, and threw the cards on the table and she was down to go home with me. Unfortunately, what kind of sucked, but is a whole other story is that we dropped off her much hotter friend (half white/half Indian) younger 7.5, and her friend rode up front when I wwas driving, she was all grabbing my dick, rubbing my leg, and I put my hand up her skirt on her pussy, and I knew she wanted to fuck, but I already committed to the 30 year old 6. Agghh... but I digress, the 30 year old "6" was not amused, but I was still able to plow threw and get the notch. I wish there was a way I could have flipped the script and fucked the half Indian chick, but logistically it would have never worked. Moral of the story is that you can be fucking every week if you really want to, just lower your standards fuck some average chick and get your mojo up.

Yeah, the long nights out can make you tired. I wanted to go to sleep after being out late and working two jobs that day but I had to get what was in my head onto paper while it was still fresh.

In terms of my game, I am going to focus on developing something a little more organic than interviewing girls. I think the getting to know you thing is cool but you can’t fire question after question. I know have creativity and comedic ability so I can improvise when I approach a woman. Bottom line, I know a girl is into me partially if she asks about me. If all I am getting is one word answers and no give at all from the girl in the conversation I am better off folding up my tent and seeking better campgrounds.

In conversations, I keep it pretty simple and casual. I won’t force the sexual tension since I did that in another date and a red flag went up (as in she leaped out of my car after I dropped her off). I have in issue with PUA material in that it always comes off as inauthentic for me. I’ve done Mystery Method, Brad P’s 30/30 club, Roosh V stuff and I feel my personality is too strong to try and do someone else’s stuff. I will take the advice and get more of a sexual vibe going but it has to come from my personality.

Body language tips are entered in my “player notebook” If anything I want to be a man that stands tall, speaks strongly, and has a presence. And smile, I need to smile more often.

Repetition makes the master: So true. I realized that going out two nights a week is not going to cut it. I am going to shoot for three nights a week and day game during my errands. I saw a three hot girls in the Publix parking lot as I was getting into my car, one was plopped right in front o of me. El Mech’s Daygame hack was right in front of my God damn face!

Rolling solo is tough but I like the freedom. I like having a wing though. For some reason it is much easier to approach when someone is with me cheering me on or watching me. But I realized that this arena is best learned in the hardest circumstances. I haven’t really gave myself a lot of credit for pursuing this path alone but maybe I should. I feel that is how all the great PUAs did it anyway (From Mystery down to Roosh).

In terms of my standards, I don’t think mine are too high. I mean I don’t fuck fat chicks. I can’t. I don’t fuck ugly girls either (< 3’s). Honestly, 80% of the women in South Howard on a Friday night are bangable. That is why I could have easily done ten, hell fifteen more approaches if I didn’t hesitate to pull the trigger.

I am glad you are on a hot streak. Make sure to get it in deep and make it count.

[Captain Ahab]

(04-06-2013 12:34 PM)BoneDaddy Wrote:  

Hey Cap'n, great breakdown on your night out. I've worked SOHO many times and I just never find that area to be productive. Its convenient, therefore I occasionally continue to try.

You might consider dropping in the Green Iguana, on South Westshore. Its always a diverse group and always a good time.

Alternatively, the next neighborhood over from SOHO, Old Hyde Park has a couple of places you might want to hit. Timpano would be good for suit game and Irish 31 always looks packed although I've not yet ducked inside.

We def need to hook up sometime, I'll throw myself on a few grenades for you.

Awesome. I am glad to see you are in my area.

Yeah, I can see South Howard getting old. There isn't THAT many bars around there. I can probably make it a biweekly spot and maybe check out Hyde park. Irish 31. etc.

South Howard does have the top talent of South Tampa though.

What do you think of the Blue Martini? I heard there is a bowling alley that gets pretty packed that is called Splitsville.

Are there any hot spots to hit up during the week? I figure I could manage to go out for a quick 6pm-9pm evening/night pick up attempt once or twice a week.


PM me your digits and I'll hit you up for sure. We can day/night game somewhere.

[Captain Ahab]

(04-06-2013 01:57 PM)Lothario Wrote:  

Strong work Captain , Keep at it .....

Good Luck tonight, Do connect with Bonedaddy or whoever else is in your area and get a live Critique on your Approaches, OG is right your Approaches shouldn't sound like Interviews, Read Bang and Day Bang agin and follow or try to follow the blue print of the Approach, My Intial problems were asking questions and at that personal questions very early in the interaction at like 12 second mark. Yeah the big man was timing my questions and Approaches.

How are you doing on Rambling , Can you talk to the Latina about Colombia for about 5 minutes in different tangents non-stop and throw DHV/Bait here and there and force the Latina to ask you a personal question ? Seriously sitting at home think about a random topic and ramble and time yourself.

What about Day Game ? or you are trying to get the Night Game down before trying the Day Game Hack, I find Day Approaches to be more natural and a solid connection but everybody is different. Why wait till tonight, Go do your Groceries etc etc and Get 5-10 Day Approaches in..

Happy Hunting .......

Thanks for the tips. I will start getting conscious of some PUA material for sure. I feel my cup is full right now in the hopes of trying anything else outside of being comfortable with picking up women but I'll review the material you mentioned and start thinking about how I can best ramble. Anything to fill in those long moments of silence that can nuke a set.

[Hotwheels]

The thing that jumped out at me from your description was when you introduced yourself with your name right from the start.

Don't do that. Why do they care what your name is? You're some guy hitting on them at the bar.

Names come later if and when there is interest between the parties involved.

How do you react if someone comes up to you and says "Hi! My names Joe!"?

I think Joe is a moron right from the start. Hard to overcome that.

[BoneDaddy]

(04-06-2013 02:21 PM)Captain Ahab Wrote:  

(04-06-2013 12:34 PM)BoneDaddy Wrote:  

Hey Cap'n, great breakdown on your night out. I've worked SOHO many times and I just never find that area to be productive. Its convenient, therefore I occasionally continue to try.

You might consider dropping in the Green Iguana, on South Westshore. Its always a diverse group and always a good time.

Alternatively, the next neighborhood over from SOHO, Old Hyde Park has a couple of places you might want to hit. Timpano would be good for suit game and Irish 31 always looks packed although I've not yet ducked inside.

We def need to hook up sometime, I'll throw myself on a few grenades for you.

Awesome. I am glad to see you are in my area.

Yeah, I can see South Howard getting old. There isn't THAT many bars around there. I can probably make it a biweekly spot and maybe check out Hyde park. Irish 31. etc.

South Howard does have the top talent of South Tampa though.

What do you think of the Blue Martini? I heard there is a bowling alley that gets pretty packed that is called Splitsville.

Are there any hot spots to hit up during the week? I figure I could manage to go out for a quick 6pm-9pm evening/night pick up attempt once or twice a week.


PM me your digits and I'll hit you up for sure. We can day/night game somewhere.

I'll PM my digits for sure. I'm in and out of TPA every few weeks for work. I'll be back down there on April 19 and will touch base a few days in advance.

Splittsville is over in Channelside, I've been there a time or two. Wasn't much going on the night I was there, but could have been a slow night.

Blue Martini is worth checking out for sure. You'll find lots of poseurs in there, but it can be a goldmine. My all time quickest approach-to-bang hookup came from there. I walked in about Midnight on a Wednesday night, saw a hot-enough lone wolf who stayed behind after her friends left. I opened, we chatted for a bit, hit the dance floor for a song or two and less than an hour later it was penetration time. One of the best lays I've ever had.

Ocean Prime which is located in the Same Plaza as Blue Martini is even a bit more upscale. I've been there a couple of times recently, but I had a girl with me and wasn't in hunting mode. It was very much a target-rich environment.

I hear you on the weeknight hot spots. That's a challenge for me too. Probably Blue Martini and Ocean Prime, but even they are going to be weak on Monday and Tuesday nights, just like everywhere else.

We probably need to solicit Mech's advice on this, but I suspect there might be some gems up in North Pinellas (Clearwater/Tarpon/Dunedin) that could fill that gap.

[NYJ]

(04-06-2013 07:32 PM)Hotwheels Wrote:  

The thing that jumped out at me from your description was when you introduced yourself with your name right from the start.

Don't do that. Why do they care what your name is? You're some guy hitting on them at the bar.

Names come later if and when there is interest between the parties involved.

How do you react if someone comes up to you and says "Hi! My names Joe!"?

I think Joe is a moron right from the start. Hard to overcome that.

This is true. I not a master, but I do make it a habit never to introduce myself until they ask for my name.

[Captain Ahab]

Awesome responses guys thanks.

I think, bottom line, I need to build my social freedom first and foremost. I have to get in the habit of capitalizing on opportunities to meet women as soon as I see them.

Social freedom is the goal for the next few months. I got to get over rejection. I listened to an audio by Brad P recently. I like how he frames rejection as screening. I should be screening for girls I have comparability with rather than hoping a girl I find attractive likes me. Total paradigm shift but it makes perfect sense.

I'll stop volunteering my name.

Going to club Prana tonight. Five levels of women. It is Latin night so plenty of Latinas.

I'll update sometime next week.

[Captain Ahab]

(04-06-2013 07:58 PM)BoneDaddy Wrote:  

(04-06-2013 02:21 PM)Captain Ahab Wrote:  

(04-06-2013 12:34 PM)BoneDaddy Wrote:  

Hey Cap'n, great breakdown on your night out. I've worked SOHO many times and I just never find that area to be productive. Its convenient, therefore I occasionally continue to try.

You might consider dropping in the Green Iguana, on South Westshore. Its always a diverse group and always a good time.

Alternatively, the next neighborhood over from SOHO, Old Hyde Park has a couple of places you might want to hit. Timpano would be good for suit game and Irish 31 always looks packed although I've not yet ducked inside.

We def need to hook up sometime, I'll throw myself on a few grenades for you.

Awesome. I am glad to see you are in my area.

Yeah, I can see South Howard getting old. There isn't THAT many bars around there. I can probably make it a biweekly spot and maybe check out Hyde park. Irish 31. etc.

South Howard does have the top talent of South Tampa though.

What do you think of the Blue Martini? I heard there is a bowling alley that gets pretty packed that is called Splitsville.

Are there any hot spots to hit up during the week? I figure I could manage to go out for a quick 6pm-9pm evening/night pick up attempt once or twice a week.


PM me your digits and I'll hit you up for sure. We can day/night game somewhere.

I'll PM my digits for sure. I'm in and out of TPA every few weeks for work. I'll be back down there on April 19 and will touch base a few days in advance.

Splittsville is over in Channelside, I've been there a time or two. Wasn't much going on the night I was there, but could have been a slow night.

Blue Martini is worth checking out for sure. You'll find lots of poseurs in there, but it can be a goldmine. My all time quickest approach-to-bang hookup came from there. I walked in about Midnight on a Wednesday night, saw a hot-enough lone wolf who stayed behind after her friends left. I opened, we chatted for a bit, hit the dance floor for a song or two and less than an hour later it was penetration time. One of the best lays I've ever had.

Ocean Prime which is located in the Same Plaza as Blue Martini is even a bit more upscale. I've been there a couple of times recently, but I had a girl with me and wasn't in hunting mode. It was very much a target-rich environment.

I hear you on the weeknight hot spots. That's a challenge for me too. Probably Blue Martini and Ocean Prime, but even they are going to be weak on Monday and Tuesday nights, just like everywhere else.

We probably need to solicit Mech's advice on this, but I suspect there might be some gems up in North Pinellas (Clearwater/Tarpon/Dunedin) that could fill that gap.

I heard the venue in clearwater on a Monday night is dope. I am usually to wrapped up with working both jobs and studying for my college exam/working on side projects to go out too much during the week but I am open to a one day during the week where I can game from 6pm-10pm. It still gives me a good six hours of sleep before class the next day.

[Captain Ahab]

Alright, went out last night and did okay. Honestly, I am mad that my inner pussy is still fucking with me.

It is quite clear that unless I get a handle on my inner pussy I won't do well with women. Crashing and burning has to mean NOTHING to me if I want to do well with women. I still am affected pretty harsh by the blow outs.

Going to put the pause button on this for a little bit and go figure some shit out. I plan on going out still, doing approaches, but I feel I am in need of some serious inner dialogue, journal writing, and introspection. I feel pissed off that women have so much control over my emotional state and overall general well being as a person. I have to figure out why my identity as a person is so dependent on female approval.

Something is not right.


Oh well, setting sail. Be back in a few.

Ahab

[apoclater]

Good write-ups, Ahab. Check your PMs.

I've had really solid results at Czar in Ybor the past few Fridays. Two makeouts, 3 numbers, and 2 ONS. Not really much to it besides find a girl, run dance game, get drinks, dance some more and bounce.

BoneDaddy, I live in Hyde Park and I've had a similar experience with the SoHo bars. Not a huge fan. I will say though--the Friday gauntlet (Macdinton's 6-8 AYCD then Hyde Park Cafe 8-10 AYCD) is target rich and since it's happy hour girls have their bitch shields a little lower.

I really want to try the Hard Rock Casino. I believe there was a write-up on it being an awesome venue for pickup on these forums.

[el mechanico]

Prana, ocean prime, martini.. The big leagues. Every swinging dick in Tampa bay is going there to try their luck. Capt you need to get the day groove going it's just soo much easier.

[Giovonny]

(04-07-2013 08:47 AM)Captain Ahab Wrote:  

Alright, went out last night and did okay. Honestly, I am mad that my inner pussy is still fucking with me.

It is quite clear that unless I get a handle on my inner pussy I won't do well with women. Crashing and burning has to mean NOTHING to me if I want to do well with women. I still am affected pretty harsh by the blow outs.

Going to put the pause button on this for a little bit and go figure some shit out. I plan on going out still, doing approaches, but I feel I am in need of some serious inner dialogue, journal writing, and introspection. I feel pissed off that women have so much control over my emotional state and overall general well being as a person. I have to figure out why my identity as a person is so dependent on female approval.

Something is not right.

Everything is fine.

This is part of the process.

Just keep going.

Start day gaming.

Don't get discouraged. Just keep going.

The self doubt will disappear with more practice and experience.

Just keep going.

Great accomplishments don't come easy.