Quote: (02-27-2019 02:16 PM)jcrew247 Wrote:
That really sucks, I'm sorry you have to deal with it.
Thanks man, appreciate the condolences.
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The thing you have to be worried about is the outbreaks and not letting anyone touch the blood or fluid because that is hot it spreads. But when the outbreaks go away, you should be fine touching people and not spreading it.
That's not quite true, you can still spread HSV via skin-to-skin contact even when you're not having an outbreak. Avoiding sex during an OB and using condoms regardless definitely lessons the chance of spreading it, but doesn't completely eliminate the risk. Hence my reluctance to simply strap up and bang when I'm not experiencing an OB - I'd feel obligated to disclose to a new girl no matter what.
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There is a blood test for HSV1 and HSV2, so you can ask your doctor or dermatologist for the test, or even go to planned parenthood for the full STD everything test. Apparantly 80% of people have the HSV1 in their bodies with no outbreaks, which seems like a high number but those are reports from the CDC.
I got blood tests for both when I got the panel done last week. Positive for HSV2 (genital herpes) but not HSV1 (cold sores), which seems strange given my sexual history and the fact that yes, something like 80% of the population has it. I just assume I'll get it eventually, not worried about it.
Quote: (02-27-2019 03:35 PM)BlastbeatCasanova Wrote:
Dang man, sorry about that. Is your girl not wife-material? If she is a quality woman, would it not be a sensible route to invest more in here considering what you mentioned? I understand if she's just a casual plate you've been hanging with for a while.
That's a good question, and something I've given a lot of thought to lately. Given my situation it does make more sense to invest in a quality girl (or maintain 1-2 solid plates) rather than constantly churning through new ones.
The girl I'm seeing now has a lot going for her, but she's also 22 and has a relatively slutty past (although she obviously regrets that now). So while after a year of dating she's done enough to make up for that major red flag, I'm still going to need years of good behavior from her before I'd even consider substantial commitment (let alone marriage/family).
It's her age that really concerns me though; I think women (especially American women) are basically teenagers until ~25, and because my girl just graduated from college and has yet to figure her life out yet, I worry that even if we date for a few years there's a chance she could wake up one day and want something totally different.
A few years ago I was in a similar situation, dating a 21 y.o. who had just graduated from undergrad (I was 25 at the time). We had been dating for four months and she really seemed to be falling for me, to the point that she asked me to come home with her over a long holiday weekend to meet her family. So I spent four days meeting her parents, siblings, aunts/uncles, family friends, even went to church them - always being introduced as a boyfriend, not just some guy she's dating. After keeping her at arms length emotionally because I knew young girls were flaky and unpredictable, I started to open up and actually consider her a long-term prospect, given the investment that I (wrongly) believed she had just demonstrated.
Well not two weeks later she breaks up with me because she was "tired of the responsibility of being in a relationship" and 48 hours after that she's in Vegas with her girlfriends partying it up. Broke my fucking heart.
That's the real catch-22 I see in the American dating market right now: the vast majority of girls OVER 25 might be more established/put together, but come with a huge amount of physical/emotional/financial baggage.
Conversely, most girls UNDER 25 might not have been alive long enough to accumulate serious baggage, but they probably don't have anything resembling a life plan put together yet, and/or are so flaky and unpredictable that whatever they believe today could be completely different from what they believe tomorrow.
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I honestly don't know what I would do in your shoes concerning that and game, and I feel like I'd go through the same stages of grief as you, maybe even worse. I definitely wouldn't feel too great about about gaming and not disclosing my status. Best of luck to you man, as you said it's not the end of the world, especially in our modern times.
Appreciate it man. I'm already doing a hell of a lot better than I was a few weeks ago, so for anyone reading this and going through it himself: it absolutely gets better. Keep your chin up.
Like I mentioned before, I'm still processing/trying to figure out where to go from here, but on the upside I'm young (late twenties), and the rest of my life is relatively put together, so as long as I keep doing what I'm doing I should be far more attractive in 5-7 years than I am now. No need to make any hasty decisions; I have time on my side, at least.
So the plan right now is to continue dating this girl and vetting her for the long-term, but I'll likely also start to dig into the niche dating sites to get a feel for the possibilities there. I'll keep updating this thread with new developments as they come.