[Hotwheels]

(03-07-2013 05:43 AM)Travelsick Wrote:  

Just one addition to that

Mononucleosis, also called glandular fever or "kissing disease" is a disease not a virus. As Porsche says it is most commonly caused by HHV-4. the Epstein Barr Virus, which is actually not that contagious, it can only be contracted by salliva (hence kissing disease). Pretty much everyone is exposed to EBV but only about 1/5 people actually get it, mostly people put it down as having a bit of a flu, some people get very fatigue and can actually feel quite ill for a prolongued time.

Mononucleosis can also be caused by the cytomegalovirus (CMV) which is another type of Herpes virus. CMV is transmitted by all body fluids. It is said to be more infectious than EBV but an infection goes unnoticed in most people (feeling under the weather for a couple of days?), test for antibodies have shown that 95% of people have come in contact with CMV. CMV can however cause more severe complications than EBV, especially in very young infants and like with so many other viruses in people with immune deficiancy (like people who already have HIV).

For either virus there's no causal treatment. It's not the actual virus that is making you feel shit, it's your immunesystem reacting to it. You just have to stick it out. The most common symptoms are fatigue and swollen neck glands.

If you're a healthy adult you've probably already had CMV and have come into contact with EBV without it ever infecting you. They're not an STD concern.

I had mono when I was a teen and thought I was going to die it was so bad. Was even hallucinating a bit. I was out for a week at least and felt pretty punky for a while afterwards.

[bacan]

(03-06-2013 04:58 AM)Travelsick Wrote:  

I appreciate people want to know if they have herpes or not, but in medical practical and also ethical terms a test (and it's cost) is only justified if the outcome of the test has an influence on how we proceed. If a healthy person asks me to test them for Herpes, if the test comes back positive does that lead me to treat him? No. Everyone should be practising safer sex already so all I will do is tell them that. If they have an outbreak it's usually self limiting, if they are in severe pain the antiviral therapy is available.

I was wondering about the ethical choice of deciding to see if I'm an asymptomatic carrier. Seems like a pretty stupid thing to do (lots to lose, little to gain if I already practically assume I'm negative), but now I can't help but wonder after thinking recently about the vast chunk of the population that has it..

[soup]

I just got back my results today. Non-reactive. Keeping my fingers crossed as I dive deeper into the lagoon of pussy.

[aphelion]

Holy Christ. Every other post in this thread is a 'just to clear things up'. Is there some accepted body of fact that we can reference about this stuff?

[Kerry18]

(03-04-2013 10:44 PM)Screwston Wrote:  

How many people on here think they have it? It is supposed to be extremely common with most people not knowing. Can you get it from going raw if the girl isnt having an outbreak? I dont see how any of us can go years without banging a herpes girl if youre at least occasionally going in raw.

Herpes is one of those diseases that besides the physical affectation causes us a damage in the affective area. Many times the damage in the affectivity is greater than the physical damage.
Genital herpes causes more mental damage than physical damage because it does not affect the fertility of men or women. When the outbreak ends, the genitals fully recover.
It doesn't have the same social impact to say I have herpes on my mouth as it does to say I have herpes on my genitals.
However, the virus that causes herpes on the mouth can also cause genital herpes and the virus that causes genital herpes can also cause herpes on the mouth.
The first step in curing a disease is to learn about it. That's why I recommend that you search the Internet for information about herpes. This will help ease the stress of knowing you are infected with the virus. I recommend a website that offers extensive information about tongue herpes, cold sores, genital herpes, and herpes in other parts of the body and their treatments.
I hope this information can help you.

[Sgt Donger]

(10-19-2018 03:46 PM)Kerry18 Wrote:  

The first step in curing a disease is to learn about it. That's why I recommend that you search the Internet

[Priapus]

As mentioned above it has alot to do with genetical luck. One girl I dated 7 years ago would suck my dick when she had small blisters eruptions above the upper lip and id also fuck her right after, none of us were informed at all or even knew that oral herpes was a thing. I ended up giving her vaginal herpes from her own mouth infection. Few months after I dumped her she texted me that she was sorry for giving me herpes, lost my mind and went to get confirmation from the doctor. I ended up not having it even tho the virus had traveled from her mouth to my dick back to her vag. Doctor told me some people have ultra natural resistance to the virus. Same goes for aids, there is guys out there who could lay a 1000 hiv positive girls going in raw and never contract it while other may get it on the first time a condom breaks. Regardless, a man should always use protection, it is our divine tool and must be preserved at all cost.

[Isaac Jordan]

Tested positive for HSV-2 (genital herpes) last week.

I've been dating a girl for almost a year now; weekend before last she comes down with the flu (or so we thought), two days later I catch the same thing. Next day I'm in the shower and notice a few red bumps on my dick. She must have caught it before meeting me and been asymptomatic this whole time (apparently a very common occurrence).

She was mortified and profusely apologetic; said she never had any symptoms so didn't think to get tested for it specifically. I blame myself for the most part (everything in my life is my fault): I knew she had been with other guys before me, I raw dogged her anyway, and hadn't ever really done my homework concerning STDs. Pretty embarrassing, honestly, for a guy who's been into game for the better part of a decade and slept with several dozen girls.

(Fortunately my takeaway after hours of research is that most everything aside from AIDS is really no big deal. The nasty bugs can be cured - for now at least - and the forever viruses like HSV and HPV really aren't that bad.)

I'm still processing/sorting out the whole situation, but even though we have more than a dozen herpes-related threads on the Forum we really don't have any up-to-date strategies on how to deal with this. Despite this incident I really like the girl I'm seeing, so I'm not planning on gaming much for the near future (have a lot going on at the moment, including running a startup), but eventually it would be nice to have a "gaming with herpes" thread.

Until then, I'll post my thoughts as they come and do my best to answer questions if anyone here has them.

---

My immediate reaction was basically the five stages of grieving. I thought my dating life was over, and for a couple of days I couldn't get out of bed in the morning. Felt like my SMV took a huge, unrecoverable hit and my confidence completely disappeared. I felt dirty, broken, and like all my work practicing game had been for naught.

At this point most of those feelings are gone, and while I'm obviously still upset at having to deal with this I've come to think it's not nearly as big of a deal as I initially thought. The disease itself is more of a nuisance than anything, and as long as I maintain my healthy lifestyle (lifting, paleo diet, intermittent fasting, yoga, very little alcohol, lots of sleep and sunlight, etc.) I'm not worried about the outbreaks or the disease itself. The stigma is by far the worst part of contracting the disease.

The biggest change in my mind is that this requires a radical overhaul of how I'll game going forward. I was never much into night game (I barely drink and I'm not a "thrill of the hunt" sort of guy), and always thought the ROI of a ONS was too low for me to put much effort into. And even if I DID want to go that route, knowing that condoms aren't particularly effective at protecting partners (active outbreak or no), I'd feel obligated to disclose my status and I imagine it'd get pretty frustrating pretty quickly having girls turn me down right as I'm about to cross the finish line.

My height and looks aren't particularly conducive to online game, so I had been focusing on day game the last few years. Despite great improvements over ~1,000 approaches, my close rate is still only about 1 in 150 (granted I only approach 7s or better). As much as I enjoy it, at this point I can't imagine putting dozens of hours into approaching and dating only to likely lose the girl when I admit my status prior to the possible bang. I could lie of course, but I wouldn't be able to look myself in the mirror, and if I ever wanted more with the girl I'd have to admit it eventually and I doubt she'd stick around after knowing I lied to get her in the sack.

Social circle game also seems like a dead-end here, as the first girl to turn me down would undoubtedly tell all her friends and poison the well (although the HSV+ ones might seek me out, lol).

The only logical option, in terms of minimizing wasted time/maximizing ROI, seems to be focusing on the STD dating sites like PositiveSingles or MPWH (meet people with herpes). Haven't tried any of them yet (you need to pay for full access) but eventually I plan on getting some top-notch photos taken and really trying to nail that online niche. If anyone has experience here please share (PM me if you don't want to post publicly).

My hope is that while my pond might have shrunk, I can still be a pretty big fish. Reading anecdotal reports on r/Herpes and other message boards shows that a large number of girls contracted it through similar bad luck, e.g. their second boyfriend was an asymptomatic carrier and she ends up with the scarlet H despite an N of 2 or whatever. So hopefully I'm not entirely limited to degenerate party girl sluts. And you'd think those folks most likely to contract STDs are attractive people (they're the ones having the most sex after all).

So hopefully by focusing on girls that are already HSV+, I can neutralize that hit to my SMV. I could possibly even come off as MORE attractive to a girl whose options are similarly limited, who wouldn't have to worry about feeling stigmatized/potentially rejected. Kinda like a 6'2" girl who's ecstatic to meet an attractive 6'5" guy, given her obviously limited options.

So again, I'll probably take a break from gaming to focus on other things for a while, but as I move forward and get better at dealing with this I'll post updates here.

And finally, thanks to the fellow RVFers who have been helping me deal with this. You know who you are and I can't tell you how much I appreciate your friendship.

[jcrew247]

That really sucks, I'm sorry you have to deal with it. I think there are some dating sites that are for herpes dating and there are alot of hot girls on there from what I've heard. I also had to talk to a doctor about an outbreak on my face that I was worried about but he said it was acne and prescribed antibiotics. So I'm not really sure what it was, but I was shaving and cut my self on the acne and I think the blood on the razor spread it to other parts of my face.

The thing you have to be worried about is the outbreaks and not letting anyone touch the blood or fluid because that is hot it spreads. But when the outbreaks go away, you should be fine touching people and not spreading it. There is a blood test for HSV1 and HSV2, so you can ask your doctor or dermatologist for the test, or even go to planned parenthood for the full STD everything test. Apparantly 80% of people have the HSV1 in their bodies with no outbreaks, which seems like a high number but those are reports from the CDC.

[jacknap]

I've tapped hundreds and gone down on hundreds and never gotten it and even tested for it.

Very strange. Doctor commented I might be immune. Although I've had at least 1 girl tell me she has it and I didn't sleep with her cause of that.

[BlastbeatCasanova]

@Isaac Jordan

Dang man, sorry about that. Is your girl not wife-material? If she is a quality woman, would it not be a sensible route to invest more in here considering what you mentioned? I understand if she's just a casual plate you've been hanging with for a while. I honestly don't know what I would do in your shoes concerning that and game, and I feel like I'd go through the same stages of grief as you, maybe even worse. I definitely wouldn't feel too great about about gaming and not disclosing my status. Best of luck to you man, as you said it's not the end of the world, especially in our modern times.

[Brahman]

I wouldn’t sweat it too much, by your 30s most women won’t care because of how common it is.

My friend who’s a dermatologist told me here in NYC that 1/4 women have some type of HSV and it’s pretty common for a lot of dudes to get it from getting BJs these days. You can also get it from someone who is showing no symptoms, which is what probably happened to you. So anytime a woman I meet tells me she’s got herpes, I’ll just shrug my shoulders and just wrap it up. Like HPV, it’s just something you have to accept that’s a probability you’ll catch if you plan on hooking up a lot

[Brahman]

This stigma seems to be an American thing, I remember asking my European and Brazilian friends about dating someone with herpes and they didn’t even think that it was a big deal like we do here...like you don’t have to have “the talk” with a date overseas like you do here

[Isaac Jordan]

(02-27-2019 02:16 PM)jcrew247 Wrote:  

That really sucks, I'm sorry you have to deal with it.

Thanks man, appreciate the condolences.

Quote:

The thing you have to be worried about is the outbreaks and not letting anyone touch the blood or fluid because that is hot it spreads. But when the outbreaks go away, you should be fine touching people and not spreading it.

That's not quite true, you can still spread HSV via skin-to-skin contact even when you're not having an outbreak. Avoiding sex during an OB and using condoms regardless definitely lessons the chance of spreading it, but doesn't completely eliminate the risk. Hence my reluctance to simply strap up and bang when I'm not experiencing an OB - I'd feel obligated to disclose to a new girl no matter what.

Quote:

There is a blood test for HSV1 and HSV2, so you can ask your doctor or dermatologist for the test, or even go to planned parenthood for the full STD everything test. Apparantly 80% of people have the HSV1 in their bodies with no outbreaks, which seems like a high number but those are reports from the CDC.

I got blood tests for both when I got the panel done last week. Positive for HSV2 (genital herpes) but not HSV1 (cold sores), which seems strange given my sexual history and the fact that yes, something like 80% of the population has it. I just assume I'll get it eventually, not worried about it.

(02-27-2019 03:35 PM)BlastbeatCasanova Wrote:  

Dang man, sorry about that. Is your girl not wife-material? If she is a quality woman, would it not be a sensible route to invest more in here considering what you mentioned? I understand if she's just a casual plate you've been hanging with for a while.

That's a good question, and something I've given a lot of thought to lately. Given my situation it does make more sense to invest in a quality girl (or maintain 1-2 solid plates) rather than constantly churning through new ones.

The girl I'm seeing now has a lot going for her, but she's also 22 and has a relatively slutty past (although she obviously regrets that now). So while after a year of dating she's done enough to make up for that major red flag, I'm still going to need years of good behavior from her before I'd even consider substantial commitment (let alone marriage/family).

It's her age that really concerns me though; I think women (especially American women) are basically teenagers until ~25, and because my girl just graduated from college and has yet to figure her life out yet, I worry that even if we date for a few years there's a chance she could wake up one day and want something totally different.

A few years ago I was in a similar situation, dating a 21 y.o. who had just graduated from undergrad (I was 25 at the time). We had been dating for four months and she really seemed to be falling for me, to the point that she asked me to come home with her over a long holiday weekend to meet her family. So I spent four days meeting her parents, siblings, aunts/uncles, family friends, even went to church them - always being introduced as a boyfriend, not just some guy she's dating. After keeping her at arms length emotionally because I knew young girls were flaky and unpredictable, I started to open up and actually consider her a long-term prospect, given the investment that I (wrongly) believed she had just demonstrated.

Well not two weeks later she breaks up with me because she was "tired of the responsibility of being in a relationship" and 48 hours after that she's in Vegas with her girlfriends partying it up. Broke my fucking heart.

That's the real catch-22 I see in the American dating market right now: the vast majority of girls OVER 25 might be more established/put together, but come with a huge amount of physical/emotional/financial baggage.

Conversely, most girls UNDER 25 might not have been alive long enough to accumulate serious baggage, but they probably don't have anything resembling a life plan put together yet, and/or are so flaky and unpredictable that whatever they believe today could be completely different from what they believe tomorrow.

Quote:

I honestly don't know what I would do in your shoes concerning that and game, and I feel like I'd go through the same stages of grief as you, maybe even worse. I definitely wouldn't feel too great about about gaming and not disclosing my status. Best of luck to you man, as you said it's not the end of the world, especially in our modern times.

Appreciate it man. I'm already doing a hell of a lot better than I was a few weeks ago, so for anyone reading this and going through it himself: it absolutely gets better. Keep your chin up.

Like I mentioned before, I'm still processing/trying to figure out where to go from here, but on the upside I'm young (late twenties), and the rest of my life is relatively put together, so as long as I keep doing what I'm doing I should be far more attractive in 5-7 years than I am now. No need to make any hasty decisions; I have time on my side, at least.

So the plan right now is to continue dating this girl and vetting her for the long-term, but I'll likely also start to dig into the niche dating sites to get a feel for the possibilities there. I'll keep updating this thread with new developments as they come.

[jcrew247]

Awesome dude. No need to get married, unless you want to or are ready to have children. Obviously the girl you are seeing must also be ready for motherhood. I've seen plenty of girls who have kids young or right after college so its possible to marry a 22 year old who is not a party girl but a nice quiet girl from a small town who just wants to get married and have kids. It also might be worth it to lock down a hot young girl who is naive and doesn't want to slut around.

[flyinghorse]

I tested positive HSV 2 but I never had any symptoms. I've almost forgotten I have it until I hear someone talk about it. For me, I always rap up so Its never an issue in the slightest. I suppose there would be an ethical decision on whether to tell someone if I got into a relationship with them and we decided not to use a condom, but I genuinely think I would just go ahead and not say a thing.

[lunchmoney]

I never have had a woman tell me she was positive for anything, although I am not stupid enough to think I have been with some that have HSV 1 or 2. A friend of mine found out during the holidays that his girl had HSV 1, not because she told him, but because he saw an empty valtrex script bottle under her car seat and thought if she was hiding that from him, what else could she be.

[kosko]

(03-01-2019 06:10 AM)flyinghorse Wrote:  

I tested positive HSV 2 but I never had any symptoms. I've almost forgotten I have it until I hear someone talk about it. For me, I always rap up so Its never an issue in the slightest. I suppose there would be an ethical decision on whether to tell someone if I got into a relationship with them and we decided not to use a condom, but I genuinely think I would just go ahead and not say a thing.

This is problematic as you can get sores outside of your penis shaft, on the general genital area that condoms don't protect; adding more to this the friction non that area lends more to exposure chanses.

The girls I have met who have Herpes all take medication for it, to surprised outbreaks, and are very intuitive with thier symptoms. I still won't fuck those girls, but thier awareness is levels above yours.

You need to be more responsible.

[flyinghorse]

(03-03-2019 10:26 AM)kosko Wrote:  

(03-01-2019 06:10 AM)flyinghorse Wrote:  

I tested positive HSV 2 but I never had any symptoms. I've almost forgotten I have it until I hear someone talk about it. For me, I always rap up so Its never an issue in the slightest. I suppose there would be an ethical decision on whether to tell someone if I got into a relationship with them and we decided not to use a condom, but I genuinely think I would just go ahead and not say a thing.

This is problematic as you can get sores outside of your penis shaft, on the general genital area that condoms don't protect; adding more to this the friction non that area lends more to exposure chanses.

The girls I have met who have Herpes all take medication for it, to surprised outbreaks, and are very intuitive with thier symptoms. I still won't fuck those girls, but thier awareness is levels above yours.

You need to be more responsible.

I've never had symptoms and the test was done in Vietnam so I don't think i was ever sold on having 'it'.

I do regret not getting tested in the uk to find out for sure if i have it for sure.

[Brahman]

Shingles is also treated with valtrex

[luigi]

This is my thing as im having an outbreak right now.

I got it about 13 years ago and dont know from who, as i've never seen any blisters or anything strange on any girls pussy or mouth that i was banging.
The first time i went to piss and it burned, but only the first time. Then i went to internet and learned that herpes lasts forever.
I was so depressed about this for a long time (first 3-4 years), felt like no girl would ever love me (i was about 19 at the time).

Used to have an outbreak per month for the first 4 or 5 years, was unaware of treatment and ways to fight it.

So, fastforward some more years... i discover valtrex (different name in spain) but its so expensive 21 pills = 50€ so now i order it from india and its like 50 cents per pill. There is this treatment that you do when you have certain amount of outbreaks per year, which is taking it daily instead of only when it pops up, so it took it daily for some months...

I stopped taking daily and it felt like the body has learned how to fight it, because now i only have like 3 outbreaks per year (from 12 or more its really good improvement), also they look smaller. Now i usually just take it when the outbreak appears.

I have to avoid stimulants, sleep well, dont abuse stimulants (coffee) and stay in good mood. if any of those fail, it will pop up.
Cannot eat foods high in arginine like peanuts, nuts, seafood, chocolate. if i eat them, i will probably have an outbreak next day.

Ive had 3 girlfriends, 1 of them i didnt even tell her, i simply used excuses to meet when i had an outbreak, they are all clean.

Hope my experienced helped you.