Balancing Game and Religion
03-04-2013, 02:28 AM
Here's my take:
A) nobody's perfect. The intention to be a better man is more important than the intention to avoid having sex with sluts. There have been a lot of good men, even some good Christians, who have had wild lives. Before St. Augustine settled down and became a bishop, and one of the cornerstones of Western thought, he picked up girls at church, had a mistress, and fathered an illegitimate child with her. Of course, later he said that was all very bad, but it was much easier for him to say that at 50 than it was for him to say that at 25 when he was doing it.
B) There are a lot of reasons that could be given for why it's "better to wait," or why premarital sex is inadvisable. Things that are inadvisable are labelled "sinful" because it's a lot easier for the priest to say "don't do that, it's a sin" than to say "well, think about a, which is bad for x and y, and think about z, which is bad for this reason and that reason, and in conclusion, it's really not a great idea for you and your girlfriend to be having sex right now." The main reason why sex outside of marriage is looked down upon in most religions is because ordinarily and naturally, once you start having sex, you have more sex. And more sex generally leads to babies. And babies outside marriage means fatherless children and destitute single moms. Grave social ills that no one would condone. All these things were pretty much infallibly true until the 1960s, when suddenly government policies made it possible for women to have children outside of marriage and not live in squalor, while at the same time, new technologies meant that sex did not necessarily lead to children -the risk of fornication was greatly reduced. This in turn led to something of a social revolution, so that sex outside marriage was not looked down upon so much by society, since the cat was now out of the bag -everybody could sort of smile and admit that they'd been doing it all along and playing with fire. Point being, whether it's objectively wrong or not, it's human nature, regardless of what official attitudes were, or what might be admitted: 99.9% of guys aged 14 or over, have always wanted to bang anything with two legs, long hair, a hole, and a heartbeat, and most of them have done so if they had the opportunity.
C) The girls we pursue are not virtuous angels who are innocently pursuing their domestic tasks and wishing patiently for a husband to come sweep them off their feet, provide for them, protect them, and make them mommies. It would be, IMO, wrong to game a girl who made it clear that she is looking to get married, is not planning on having sex before marriage, and wants a husband now. To do so would require leading her on, and while she might be weak and give in to the advances of a man she thinks will be marrying her, it would not be a good thing to do. Thankfully, or not, these girls are exceedingly rare nowadays. The girls we game, by and large, are sluts who have no desire whatsoever to be "good girls." They might pretend to be good girls sometimes, but this is an act. We know it, and they know it. And there's not much difference between fucking sluts and fucking prostitutes when it comes to the "socially destructive nature of the act" factor. Fact is, these girls are already corrupted and there's nothing any of us can do about it, so we may as well give them what they want, and enjoy them for what they are good for. Namely, lots of sex.
D) the strongest argument that can be made nowadays in regards to the sinfulness of premarital sex is that doing so with the intention to avoid having children is unnatural, and therefore wrong and sinful, since sexual pleasure is primarily for procreation and therefore shouldn't be experienced outside marriage since it only exists to encourage us to have children. This is a stretch, because obviously sex has secondary ends (satisfaction of inherent desires, bonding, etc.) and these are still useful outside marriage. In fact, nowadays, one might argue that men have a moral duty to have a lot of sex, because those aforementioned "good" girls are so rare. How is a man to recognize them and woo them when he does find them in our screwed up sexual marketplace today unless he's perfected the art of relating to women? And the only way to really perfect that art is to have sex with 20 or 30... Miss Goody Two Shoes is not going to be impressed with Mr. Right unless he can playfully banter with her, avoid pedestalizing her, make his feelings known through his actions, and all that. He can't do that if he's lived like a hermit to avoid all the sluts, who must inevitably make up the vast majority of his female interactions.
In sum: having sex with sluts really isn't a big deal.