I know this is a long post, but I promise it’s worth a read. I’ve wanted to give back to this community for a long time, but I never felt like I had anything substantial to contribute. I do now. Hope y’all enjoy.
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When I first took the red pill, I was obsessed with the how. How do men and women attract each other? How can I get a girl interested in me? How can I seal the deal? The tantalizing possibility of a quick fix, along with the instant improvements I saw in eliminating a lot of my anti-game and beta behaviors, left me little time to bother with the why. My first impulse was simply to use game, not necessarily understand it.
That was two years ago. Since then, I’ve become much more interested in why game works. I’ve found that the more I understand about human evolution, biology, and psychology, the better my game becomes. I’d like to share some knowledge that has been particularly helpful to me, especially in formulating a strong inner game. It’s not necessarily new or original (90% of it came from Matt Ridley’s The Red Queen, and Heartiste often links to these scientific studies), but I think it provides a big-picture perspective that isn’t often seen here, and should be especially useful for anyone new to game and the red pill.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What I’d like to discuss here is the alpha attitude, and why it is so immensely powerful in attracting women. (By “alpha attitude” I mean behavior generally considered to be high in dominance, confidence, and aggression.) Why do women seek out the alpha attitude at all costs, even when it comes attached to the likes of thugs, criminals, and psychopaths? In order to answer these questions, we have to look at human evolution and the nature of sexual selection.
In the past, men who chose young, fertile women with which to mate ended up passing on their genes more frequently than those who chose differently. Over time, nature selected for the men best able to detect a woman’s youth and fertility, and traits like long hair, large breasts, and a .7 waist-to-hip ratio thus became attractive to men. I’m oversimplifying here, but basically, when it comes to picking a sexual partner, all men really care about is youth and beauty.
Because men weren’t forced to invest heavily in their children, all they needed from a partner was a suitable genetic receptacle within which to plant their seed. Women, however, needed TWO things: genes for their children, and resources and protection while they raised them. While women’s primary strategy was to attempt to snag one man who could provide the best mix of both genes and provisioning, deep in their hindbrains lurked a plan B: capture the best genes from a lover, while simultaneously extracting resources from a husband. “Alpha fucks and beta bucks” is the perfect way to summarize this finding.
The beta bucks half of the strategy is no longer a mystery to anyone even remotely familiar with the red pill. Women’s penchant for capturing resources from men is well-known and easily understood, so I won’t discuss it further.
What isn’t very well understood is the other half, i.e. women’s process for capturing quality genes. It’s been well documented that most heterosexual woman are sexually aroused by typically masculine traits: dominance, aggression, confidence, muscularity, specific facial features (like a pronounced chin), body symmetry, low vocal intonation, etc. Studies on short-term mating show that when women have a choice for a one night stand, they overwhelmingly choose the dominant, masculine bad boy over the kind, gentle nice guy. But why? What is it about masculinity that makes it so attractive to women?
Here’s where it gets interesting (albeit increasingly theoretical). During development, the human male brain receives two massive doses of testosterone: one while in the womb (to change the embryo from the default female into a male), and again at puberty, during which many of the masculine traits listed above begin to develop.
An interesting effect of testosterone is that it greatly suppresses the immune system. The higher your T levels, the weaker your body’s natural ability to fight off disease and infection. So any man that possesses highly masculine traits almost by definition must have a stellar immune system, because only those men with quality genes (the “recipe” for a quality immune system) would be able to survive such a massive infusion of testosterone. And because sex is basically an evolutionary adaptation that enables humans to stay one step ahead of diseases and parasites by mixing their genes (a topic too detailed to touch here, but beautifully explained in Ridley’s book), it’s perfectly logical to view masculinity as a genetic fitness indicator for men, in the same way that youth and beauty are indicators for women.
And this is where the alpha attitude comes in. While some of these masculine traits (facial structure, body symmetry) are out of our control, many (vocal intonation, muscularity, behavior) are easily improved upon. Speaking slowly in a deep voice, lifting weights, and adopting dominant behavior in his interactions with women are all things that a man can improve to a great degree over time.
However, I’d argue that behavior (the alpha attitude) is the most important indicator of masculinity there is, as many of the physical traits are influenced by the surrounding environment, whereas behavioral tendencies are more directly tied to genetic expression. In other words, dominance, confidence, and aggression are likely even “sexier” to a woman than huge biceps or a perfectly symmetrical face. Men can build bigger muscles through exercise, or have their beautiful faces scarred in battle, but it’s almost impossible for a man to change his personality. This makes the alpha attitude a much better indicator of genetic fitness than other masculine traits, and thus so incredibly attractive to women.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The key to the alpha attitude is having strong inner game. Because a woman’s attraction to you is predicated primarily on you acting a certain way, the only way to maintain high levels of attraction is to consistently act in those ways. And the best way to consistently maintain certain behaviors is to make those behaviors part of your default personality. You have to be CONGRUENT in your actions, all day every day.
Put another way, the best way to act alpha is to BE alpha. The best way to act like you don’t give a shit is to GENUINELY not give a shit. The best way to lie to someone is to BELIEVE your own lie. This, of course, is much easier said than done. I don’t have a definitive answer for how to accomplish this, but I think “fake it til you make it” is a pretty reasonable strategy.
For example, a guy without options will obviously benefit from an abundance mentality. But how can he cultivate that mentality when he doesn’t actually have abundance? He ought to start off by pretending. Even though pretending he has options isn’t quite as good as actually HAVING options, it is still an improvement. And over time, that modest improvement will lead to slightly better options with women, which will lead to a bit more of a genuine abundance mentality, which will in turn lead to more options, and so on.
As Morpheus says to Neo, “There’s a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path.” You have to get out there and practice what you know in order to turn theory into reality. Having a solid framework with which to work is the first step, though, and it seems that the more I develop my understanding of how things truly work, the more effective my practice becomes.
Thoughts?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When I first took the red pill, I was obsessed with the how. How do men and women attract each other? How can I get a girl interested in me? How can I seal the deal? The tantalizing possibility of a quick fix, along with the instant improvements I saw in eliminating a lot of my anti-game and beta behaviors, left me little time to bother with the why. My first impulse was simply to use game, not necessarily understand it.
That was two years ago. Since then, I’ve become much more interested in why game works. I’ve found that the more I understand about human evolution, biology, and psychology, the better my game becomes. I’d like to share some knowledge that has been particularly helpful to me, especially in formulating a strong inner game. It’s not necessarily new or original (90% of it came from Matt Ridley’s The Red Queen, and Heartiste often links to these scientific studies), but I think it provides a big-picture perspective that isn’t often seen here, and should be especially useful for anyone new to game and the red pill.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What I’d like to discuss here is the alpha attitude, and why it is so immensely powerful in attracting women. (By “alpha attitude” I mean behavior generally considered to be high in dominance, confidence, and aggression.) Why do women seek out the alpha attitude at all costs, even when it comes attached to the likes of thugs, criminals, and psychopaths? In order to answer these questions, we have to look at human evolution and the nature of sexual selection.
In the past, men who chose young, fertile women with which to mate ended up passing on their genes more frequently than those who chose differently. Over time, nature selected for the men best able to detect a woman’s youth and fertility, and traits like long hair, large breasts, and a .7 waist-to-hip ratio thus became attractive to men. I’m oversimplifying here, but basically, when it comes to picking a sexual partner, all men really care about is youth and beauty.
Because men weren’t forced to invest heavily in their children, all they needed from a partner was a suitable genetic receptacle within which to plant their seed. Women, however, needed TWO things: genes for their children, and resources and protection while they raised them. While women’s primary strategy was to attempt to snag one man who could provide the best mix of both genes and provisioning, deep in their hindbrains lurked a plan B: capture the best genes from a lover, while simultaneously extracting resources from a husband. “Alpha fucks and beta bucks” is the perfect way to summarize this finding.
The beta bucks half of the strategy is no longer a mystery to anyone even remotely familiar with the red pill. Women’s penchant for capturing resources from men is well-known and easily understood, so I won’t discuss it further.
What isn’t very well understood is the other half, i.e. women’s process for capturing quality genes. It’s been well documented that most heterosexual woman are sexually aroused by typically masculine traits: dominance, aggression, confidence, muscularity, specific facial features (like a pronounced chin), body symmetry, low vocal intonation, etc. Studies on short-term mating show that when women have a choice for a one night stand, they overwhelmingly choose the dominant, masculine bad boy over the kind, gentle nice guy. But why? What is it about masculinity that makes it so attractive to women?
Here’s where it gets interesting (albeit increasingly theoretical). During development, the human male brain receives two massive doses of testosterone: one while in the womb (to change the embryo from the default female into a male), and again at puberty, during which many of the masculine traits listed above begin to develop.
An interesting effect of testosterone is that it greatly suppresses the immune system. The higher your T levels, the weaker your body’s natural ability to fight off disease and infection. So any man that possesses highly masculine traits almost by definition must have a stellar immune system, because only those men with quality genes (the “recipe” for a quality immune system) would be able to survive such a massive infusion of testosterone. And because sex is basically an evolutionary adaptation that enables humans to stay one step ahead of diseases and parasites by mixing their genes (a topic too detailed to touch here, but beautifully explained in Ridley’s book), it’s perfectly logical to view masculinity as a genetic fitness indicator for men, in the same way that youth and beauty are indicators for women.
And this is where the alpha attitude comes in. While some of these masculine traits (facial structure, body symmetry) are out of our control, many (vocal intonation, muscularity, behavior) are easily improved upon. Speaking slowly in a deep voice, lifting weights, and adopting dominant behavior in his interactions with women are all things that a man can improve to a great degree over time.
However, I’d argue that behavior (the alpha attitude) is the most important indicator of masculinity there is, as many of the physical traits are influenced by the surrounding environment, whereas behavioral tendencies are more directly tied to genetic expression. In other words, dominance, confidence, and aggression are likely even “sexier” to a woman than huge biceps or a perfectly symmetrical face. Men can build bigger muscles through exercise, or have their beautiful faces scarred in battle, but it’s almost impossible for a man to change his personality. This makes the alpha attitude a much better indicator of genetic fitness than other masculine traits, and thus so incredibly attractive to women.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The key to the alpha attitude is having strong inner game. Because a woman’s attraction to you is predicated primarily on you acting a certain way, the only way to maintain high levels of attraction is to consistently act in those ways. And the best way to consistently maintain certain behaviors is to make those behaviors part of your default personality. You have to be CONGRUENT in your actions, all day every day.
Put another way, the best way to act alpha is to BE alpha. The best way to act like you don’t give a shit is to GENUINELY not give a shit. The best way to lie to someone is to BELIEVE your own lie. This, of course, is much easier said than done. I don’t have a definitive answer for how to accomplish this, but I think “fake it til you make it” is a pretty reasonable strategy.
For example, a guy without options will obviously benefit from an abundance mentality. But how can he cultivate that mentality when he doesn’t actually have abundance? He ought to start off by pretending. Even though pretending he has options isn’t quite as good as actually HAVING options, it is still an improvement. And over time, that modest improvement will lead to slightly better options with women, which will lead to a bit more of a genuine abundance mentality, which will in turn lead to more options, and so on.
As Morpheus says to Neo, “There’s a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path.” You have to get out there and practice what you know in order to turn theory into reality. Having a solid framework with which to work is the first step, though, and it seems that the more I develop my understanding of how things truly work, the more effective my practice becomes.
Thoughts?