OMG! Chauvinistic pigs! Lol
At some point I started living for my own pleasure. Doing and saying exactly what I want when I want (but being smart about it). Why? Because it's genuine. A lot of guys go around saying things and doing things to satisfy others, hoping that they'll get something out of it. When they get rejected they're like "What? But, I was being so nice and doing everything I was supposed to.". Then they're stuck wondering what they're supposed to do.
I was that guy and when things didn't work out it ate me up. So I started saying fuck it and being myself/the person I wanted to be, if I get rejected by a girl I've been out with it won't be because I wasn't genuine with her. It won't be because I was being passive. It won't be because of any incongruence. I'll do everything to make sure she rejects me because she just didn't like me lol. Because that's something I think most people learn by high school: Not everyone is gonna like you. So what do you do? You move on and interact with the ones that do like you.
Now when I get rejected for a 2nd date or flaked on, my reaction is "Damn. Oh well.", then I find someone else, go out with friends, or fly solo no problem. I don't think it's because I've been desensitized, but because I'm happy with who I am, right now. And with becoming happy and comfortable with myself I learned how not to let the small/unimportant things screw with my head. So, I guess to answer your question, I'd have to say for me it was learning to control it.
I like what snoop said about planning dates you'd do yourself. Why? Because it's genuine; doing something you actually enjoy doing so much you wouldn't mind doing it alone.
At some point I started living for my own pleasure. Doing and saying exactly what I want when I want (but being smart about it). Why? Because it's genuine. A lot of guys go around saying things and doing things to satisfy others, hoping that they'll get something out of it. When they get rejected they're like "What? But, I was being so nice and doing everything I was supposed to.". Then they're stuck wondering what they're supposed to do.
I was that guy and when things didn't work out it ate me up. So I started saying fuck it and being myself/the person I wanted to be, if I get rejected by a girl I've been out with it won't be because I wasn't genuine with her. It won't be because I was being passive. It won't be because of any incongruence. I'll do everything to make sure she rejects me because she just didn't like me lol. Because that's something I think most people learn by high school: Not everyone is gonna like you. So what do you do? You move on and interact with the ones that do like you.
Now when I get rejected for a 2nd date or flaked on, my reaction is "Damn. Oh well.", then I find someone else, go out with friends, or fly solo no problem. I don't think it's because I've been desensitized, but because I'm happy with who I am, right now. And with becoming happy and comfortable with myself I learned how not to let the small/unimportant things screw with my head. So, I guess to answer your question, I'd have to say for me it was learning to control it.
I like what snoop said about planning dates you'd do yourself. Why? Because it's genuine; doing something you actually enjoy doing so much you wouldn't mind doing it alone.
"What's the difference between us.
We can start at the penis.
Or scream I just don't give a fuck and see who really means it."
- Marshall Bruce Mathers III
