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feeling like an asshole, charge it to the game?
02-11-2013, 05:44 AM
I don't know how accurate it is to say that the girls emotions are nothing but manipulative lies. Regardless of if the girl would eventually cheat, her subjective experience is going to be one of pain. Girls are extremely segmented and unaware of their motivations.
Do you remember being a small child and looking around to see if anyone was around before you wailed and cried in pain? If no one was around you didn't bother. But when you were wailing and crying, it wasn't fake, and god damn it you really, really, really meant it! That's how women feel. It might be manipulative, yes, but none the less they still feel strong emotions at the time that they personally believe are real and justified. They buy their own bullshit.
I haven't had a lot of experience with dumping girls after a short fling - I'll either have a fling with the girl and let her leave when she get exasperated that I won't stop seeing other girls, or if she is a live in I'll move to a new location to sever ties when I get bored with her. For the latter I've witnessed some heavy emotional upheavals that lasted a long time. And I've witnessed some crazy strong one-itis on the part of some girls, that lasted for years after the break up.
The way I sort it all out in my brain is that pain is an inevitable part of the process of dating. Either heartbreak, or the frustration of boredom. I've been heartbroken many times, and have known some very deep and long lasting pain. And I have no doubt that women in my life have felt similar emotions. I do my best to minimize such pain, but won't stop dating because of it. It's really unavoidable.
But like I said, I usually get girls involved in a feeling of mutual romance, so I'm playing a different game than pump and dump. The pain can be at least as great, but it's less frequent. And sometimes it doesn't seem to be that hard on the girl if she is the one that gets fed up and leaves.
I guess what I'm saying is that one way to handle causing pain, philosophically, is to take the stance that doing so is not a mistake. You are willing to emotionally invest and to feel heartbreak. And you realize that getting close to a girl can cause heartbreak. And you do it anyway. Pain isn't a signal of error. It's just part of the process.
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feeling like an asshole, charge it to the game?
02-11-2013, 12:53 PM
You had an emotional reaction to her emotional reaction. Emotional reactions are mostly for girls.
If you feel bad it's because you did something bad. You probably mislead her and pretended to be something that you are not. You probably presented yourself in a false way.
If you were 100% real and authentic you would not feel bad, because you did nothing wrong. What I'm saying is, don't be fake, don't lie, tell them you are not available for a serious commitment, you are only available for fun. Don't lead them on. Don't play games.
If you tell no lies and play no games, you will have nothing to feel bad about.
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feeling like an asshole, charge it to the game?
02-11-2013, 02:01 PM
Quote: (02-11-2013 12:53 PM)Giovonny Wrote:
You probably mislead her and pretended to be something that you are not. You probably presented yourself in a false way.
If you were 100% real and authentic you would not feel bad...
You know how infatuatated men sometimes can't accept it when a girl shows a lack of interest? No matter how blatant she is? I know, because I used to be that guy. Girls sometimes can't accept it when you tell them straight out, over and over, that you won't ever marry her and that you plan to fuck other girls. They nod their head up and down, and say "ok", but deep down they are still trying to marry you. I've seen that many times. Denial can be a very strong force.
It's not always from a lack of clear communication that a girl stubbornly holds on to false hopes of commitment in her little head.
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feeling like an asshole, charge it to the game?
02-11-2013, 02:09 PM
Hey, here's a strategy that might avoid causing heartbreak for girls. Go after girls who are out of your league.
For guys, we tend to fall hardest for the high value hotties. The really smart, highly sexual stunners. It's happened to me that such girls will fall for me too, but I've also had it happen that girls with lots of options and experience don't see me as an upgrade, and so don't get attached.
Think about it - when is the last time you fell hard for an ugly girl? It must be the same for girls - if you don't want to hurt them, date girls way out of your league. That way you'll have greater odds that they'll be less invested and feel less loss. There is also the advantage that they are likely to hold your interest for longer.
Scoring the hottest girls is what we try to do anyway. Mostly I'm just pointing out why men and women get strongly attached - it's because we think we've found a rare high value option.
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feeling like an asshole, charge it to the game?
02-11-2013, 02:38 PM
Quote: (02-10-2013 12:03 PM)Thatdude Wrote:
Not a troll thread.
Just wondering how you seasoned players deal with shit like when girls you've been banging eventually don't put up with your shit anymore and say fucked up shit to you like..."you actually disgust me, don't ever call or talk to me again" "you aren't a man, your still just a boy," etc. stuff like this. does it ever take its toll on you, how do you deal with it?
That shit is a fucking compliment. You know when girls have called me that in the past (when I gamed them without knowing it) I used to take it badly. Now if I get that, I can't help but get a grin on my face. A pissed off girl is a girl who has lost control.
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feeling like an asshole, charge it to the game?
02-11-2013, 07:04 PM
Quote: (02-10-2013 12:03 PM)Thatdude Wrote:
Not a troll thread.
what really made me feel like a dick and make this thread was last night i was hanging out with a girl for the third time, the second time we banged, and after we hooked up we just started talking about shit, i thought i had made it very apparent that we were just going to keep things casual, but for some reason as we kept talking she just got more and more worked up and upset. its only the third time we've ever hung out mind you. eventually she starts crying (not bawling), just tearing up, and tells me "you should just leave." wtf? so naturally i leave...i dont know if i should apologize to her or just let it be. i haven't banged 20+ chicks or anything like that so forgive me for sounding a little naive, but how do you guys deal with shit like this. [b]do you just charge it to the game?[/b]
The best wya I've found is a preventative method. Be up front about your intentions from the beginning, instead of assuming or guessing if you both have the same thing in mind moving forward. If you want something casual, and she wants something more, don't sleep with her and you don't have that problem. There are millions of women who will be looking for what you are, go find them instead.
